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brunoloff
Netherlands
47 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 12 2010 : 7:48:19 PM
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Hello all,
I know that the answer for kundalini is self-pacing, but it has been two weeks since settling down my practice time. In these past two weeks I have three times dipped my toe in the water, doing I AM for one or two minutes, and see if it was ok.
Well, apparently it wasn't. The last two days my kundalini has fired up so much that I couldn't sleep more than two hours one time, three hours another time.
A lot of energy gets sucked up (by my pericardium and testicles) through the spine into the brain and down again through my throat into the belly. It is so intense that I can't fall asleep, sometimes I get actual JOLTS of electricity. Although I'm too sleepy to do pretty much anything :-(
Also there are prickly sensations in my sinuses and throat, particularly where the tongue ends and the throat begins. It's a bit like I imagined Kechari would be, but with electricity being easily conducted from my sinuses, to the side of my jaws, through my mandibula, down into my throat.
I've done loads of walking ... :-( I've ate plenty of heavy foods, which actually felt somewhat unpleasant. I feel that I can't be still but can't do anything either :-( It's like these energy movements suck my attention from whatever I'm trying to do.
buaaaaa :-( :-( :-(
And I am sad to report that a lot of it gets to my crown, which might be working to provoke it into opening even further.
I always wondered about the following: Is it impossible to have intense bhakti for a moderate practice?! Would it work to use, say, "stable and integrative yoga progress" as a sutra in samyama?
Not that I'm doing samyama anytime soon :-(
Practice disturbing day-to-day life, instead of improving it in an integrated way, REALLY sucks. Knowing that an end result will be a connection to the present, it frustrates me that it doesn't work like that all the way.
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2010 : 10:36:44 PM
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Hi Bruno :)
Sorry to hear about your discomforts.
One interesting thing to me is that you say that kundalini comes up the spine and then down the front channel, like it is performing a micro cosmic orbit (Taoist technique). I thought kundalini was supposed to flow upwards out the crown and then back around the outside of the aura. Or, in other theoretical writings such as Kunlun or Reiki Tummo, the crown is supposed to open and produce a top-down flow, then kundalini and the downward flow meet at the heart and fill the aura from there by projecting outwards..
I'm very curious to know what your regular practices were before you started AYP. How old are you? How long have you been practicing? Could you give us a short history of your practices, please? :)
Also, I read about your concerns about premature crown opening in your other post here:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=6986
You said:
quote:
- Can I tense up the ajna-crown channel again? Or will focusing on it just open it up even more?
What was your crown practice? What does it mean to 'tense up the ajna-crown channel'? Is this a documented practice or method? Could you please describe how to do it?
Thank you :)
:)
TI
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Mar 13 2010 : 01:16:31 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by brunoloff
buaaaaa :-( :-( :-(
You need some serious grounding exercise. Search the forum and also look over the net to find what suits you.
My favourite grounding technique is to put your head (or forehead) on the ground. Touch your head/forehead on the ground. Like this:
http://cdn.elev8.com/files//2009/06...ing-down.jpg
http://dangitbill.files.wordpress.c.../psalm95.jpg
If required, you can imagine the excessive energy going/flowing back into the mother earth from your crown/third eye. |
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brunoloff
Netherlands
47 Posts |
Posted - Mar 13 2010 : 04:55:48 AM
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Thank you TI and manigma. It seems things calmed down enough to get a few hours rest.
I hesitate in doing any specific exercise for grounding. It sometimes feels that if I'm too grounded, if there is too much silence, then tension will start to very quickly and globally dissolve into the silence, and release energy as it does so. And I really would like dissolution to slow down, rather than accelerate.
Tibetan Ice here is the story, the way I tell it in retrospect. Kundalini aroused September 2008, after an LSD trip. I've acquired, at one time or another, all the symptoms of kundalini awakening: twiches, feelings of vibration and energy, derealization, halucinations, panick attacks, all punctuated by cycles of euphoria and depression. I've begun meditating March '09, doing concentration on the breath. Then I learned about vipassana from Daniel Ingram's book "Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha." I started doing some vipassana now and then, I had an irregular practice. In August 09 I went to a Goenka 10-day vipassana meditation retreat. Then in mid-october my depression got so bad that I took a sick leave from my job, and went back home. I did another 10-day retreat by myself. During this retreat I learned how to cause dissolution (Theravada has a very nice four-part description of the process of dissolution called "The Four Jhanas"). On the fifth day of this retreat, I got the classical nirvana non-experience. For the last five days of the retreat, I set out to dissolve as much tension as I possibly could, thinking that this was my job as a meditator and that I should devote any amount of free time to getting dissolution to happen. I directed a lot of attention to the spine and crown. Eventually everything got too intense and I went back home. The dissolution continued at a mad pace despite me not doing any practice, and so I wrote the post "Premature crown opening," which you already read. I have since realized that the fear I was feeling was being caused by a panic attack, and that no matter how fast dissolution is happening, adding fear to the mix only makes it worst. Since then I've managed to remain cool about dissolution, most of the time.
(By the way I highly recommend Daniel's book; it is a very pragmatical book on meditation and progress according to the Theravada tradition, and it will give you an idea of how different practice was before the last two turnings of the wheel of dharma, when Tantra was integrated with Buddhism. Among other things you will find that Theravada considers that alternating cycles of overload and crash are a necessary part of meditative progress.)
At that time I did some Qigong two times a week, which settled down energy somewhat. I've also learned about the microcosmic orbit, which I set out to open believing this would bring balance. I guess it did, I mean, energy stopped being violent and became pleasurable and erotic. But too much ecstasy, as people in this forum have already pointed out, can be quite a hurdle.
The worst aspect is that I've realized, in my retreat, that the conclusion of the process will be (or at least include) a moment-to-moment acceptance with all the common and even banal aspects of life. I've come back from my retreat with great enthusiasm for living the phenomenal aspect of life, you know, being with people, music, cinema, nature, doing my job, etc. But if ecstasy is too high, then music and cinema are way too intense, and it takes up most of my attention, preventing me from doing things such as reading and studying (I'm a phd student). So I'm left with walks in the park, which are fun, but a bit limited. I'm also finding out that manual work is very grounding.
Bummer 
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Tibetan_Ice
Canada
758 Posts |
Posted - Mar 14 2010 : 01:16:03 AM
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Hi Bruno :)
Thank you for your reponse. It is very interesting to me. :)
quote:
Originally posted by brunoloff
I hesitate in doing any specific exercise for grounding. It sometimes feels that if I'm too grounded, if there is too much silence, then tension will start to very quickly and globally dissolve into the silence, and release energy as it does so. And I really would like dissolution to slow down, rather than accelerate.
I know what you mean about having too much silence. Usually later in the evening, as the metabolism slows and things become more relaxed, that is the time that kundalini becomes more active. Many nights I've layed down in bed and my third eye becomes a magnetic hole, the light above my head becomes brighter and kundalini starts her "coming out to play" dance.
Today I did two strict AYP style sessions of spinal breathing and "AYAM" meditation with perfect posture. Towards the end of each session the ecstatic conductiviy was nearly overwhelming. (I think I might have overdone it a bit as right now my hands and face are hot and my perineum and lower tan tien are throbbing and tense with ecstatic energy.)
In Manigma's suggestion about grounding, I believe he is referring to the aspect of draining excess energy buildup in the body by touching the head on the ground. I wouldn't call that an 'exercise' like pushups or jogging are exercises though.. It is more like a practice. But I do agree, it seems that the more exercise a person gets when their kundalini is active, the more kundalini becomes active. Mind you, walking is a good grounding exercise because there is little exertion. I think the level of exertion is proportional to kundalini activity: high exertion results in high kundalini activity later.
Other methods of grounding the kundalini are "Eating heavy foods", having sex (although I've read that during kundalini rising sex might produce an immense drain on the body from which it might take a few days to recover), and for me, taking a hot bath helps alot.
I think it is up to you to experiment and see what works for you.
quote:
In August 09 I went to a Goenka 10-day vipassana meditation retreat.
I think full body awareness is one of the most powerful techniques and it is no surprise to me that you participated in a Goenka retreat. I myself discovered that a similar technique of just sitting, relaxing deeply and sensing the inner body (ala Tolle) causes my kundalini to become overactive, sometimes with eruptions lasting more than four hours at a time.
quote:
(By the way I highly recommend Daniel's book; it is a very pragmatical book on meditation and progress according to the Theravada tradition, and it will give you an idea of how different practice was before the last two turnings of the wheel of dharma, when Tantra was integrated with Buddhism. Among other things you will find that Theravada considers that alternating cycles of overload and crash are a necessary part of meditative progress.)
Yes, I have Daniel Ingram's book. Thank you for pointing that out. It is freely available on the web at this link: http://www.interactivebuddha.com/mctb.shtml
I've also found a good site which lists the levels of attainment. It was intriguing to learn that if one just sits and impartialy observes one's inner state that a person naturally cycles through the various
levels. It was also very nice to know that once a person achieves a certain level, they can go directly to that level. (There is so much to learn, or rather, there is so much to forget) :)
Here is a chart: http://kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.c...rata+of+Mind
quote:
At that time I did some Qigong two times a week, which settled down energy somewhat. I've also learned about the microcosmic orbit, which I set out to open believing this would bring balance. I guess it did, I mean, energy stopped being violent and became pleasurable and erotic. But too much ecstasy, as people in this forum have already pointed out, can be quite a hurdle.
This is very interesting. There is an on-going debate between Taoists with the micro cosmic orbit and the hindu yogis who take the kundalini up the spine but never back down. It is interesting to note that bringing the kundalini down the front channel smoothed out the violent aspect of the current for you.. Now that I think of it, I wonder if, as in the practice of spinal breathing (Kriya Yoga), the aspect of bringing the attention back down the spine instead of down the front channel helps to balance the kundalini erruptions. I have heard that reversing the MC orbit is supposed to cool things down. So perhaps the yogis are gaining experience in controlling bi-directional flows.
quote:
The worst aspect is that I've realized, in my retreat, that the conclusion of the process will be (or at least include) a moment-to-moment acceptance with all the common and even banal aspects of life. I've come back from my retreat with great enthusiasm for living the phenomenal aspect of life, you know, being with people, music, cinema, nature, doing my job, etc. But if ecstasy is too high, then music and cinema are way too intense, and it takes up most of my attention, preventing me from doing things such as reading and studying (I'm a phd student). So I'm left with walks in the park, which are fun, but a bit limited. I'm also finding out that manual work is very grounding.
Bummer
I know what you mean. At first I thought it was very nice to have extended periods of orgasmic sensations pulsing through my system but I soon got tired of it. Yes, not only is it distracting and very hard to ignore, but it gives me the feeling that I'm not really in control. The result has been to make me want to self pace and stay away from anything that makes my perineum start to throb (like the approach of deep silence, too much 'sensing the inner body' or trying to merge into the light during meditations). And then, if all is quiet for a few days, I seem to forget the agony of it all and start to crave the sensations again. Then, I end up overdoing it. I can always tell when I've overdone it after lying in bed at the end of the day for a few minutes because that's when kundalini will come out to play. Sometimes it is so bad that I have to describe it as "crawling the walls".
So, if it helps, I have a good idea of what you are going through, as do many others on this site.
Thank you again for your correspondence. I appreciate it.
Best of luck.
:)
TI
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2010 : 12:36:01 AM
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| Thank you Tibetan_Ice. I now understand my own nocturnal experiences much better! And thank God, mine are milder comparing to you guys'. |
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brunoloff
Netherlands
47 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2010 : 03:26:31 AM
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Hey Tibetan Ice, thanks for your comments!
Your experience fits very well with my own :-) I particularly understand that sensation of having too much and wanting to back off, and then wanting it back when you are calmer, as if "surely this time it's gonna be fine" :-)
I've had some openings in the root chakra this week and it seems things are more stable for now. I committed myself to do some serious grounding, so I take walks every day, hang out with others, etc. I've slept like a baby every night this week.
I am curious, have you ever read "The Attention Revolution: Unlocking the Power of the Focused Mind" by B. Alan Wallace?
In this book he talks about practices to stabilize attention, and while the practice varies from gross to subtle to very subtle, the general guidelines are like this:
"If the mind is too agitated, then calm it down,"
"If the mind is in torpor, then generate interest," and
"As long as there are objects, dissolve them into awareness."
"Generation of interest" is done by noticing the pleasurable aspect of phenomena. You might have noticed that this is very easy to do if one is on a kundalini rush: pretty much anything you do or look at will be pleasurable in an almost erotic fashion.
In the book it is said that non-conceptual, blissful, silent awareness that can be maintained effortlessly, perfectly and constantly, is called "samadhi."
This has suggested to me the following idea: If there is a feeling of pleasurable rush, then instead of going "hmm" and pushing it more because it's sooo good, I should calm it down until it is subtle and non-disruptive. On the other hand, if I feel torpor, sleepiness, or some-such, then I allow myself to draw from the kundalini-source, do ad-hoc meditation techniques to get that sleepiness be replaced by conductivity (to me torpor feels like a place where current won't pass through!). I can usually do this, except when there is both torpor and ecstasy. Then I just take a walk in the park :-)
I'll do this for a few weeks and keep you posted. If it works well maybe you could try it out. |
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brunoloff
Netherlands
47 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2010 : 3:25:19 PM
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| Today i'm having high-powered energy again... :-( |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2010 : 4:19:37 PM
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Today there is a lot of energy in the air.
Tomorrow is Durga ashtami, a very powerful day. For the past 5 days millions of people either fast or are on a restricted diet (fruits, milk, nuts) and pray. It is the collective energy of many in the air that we are feeling and being blessed with..
It has been high energy for a few days now and many people have been experiencing openings.
Enjoy the energy Brunoloff. It is Ma Durga's blessings. Skip your practices for a few days if you need to and do more grounding things, eat heavier foods etc. Yet do not be afraid of the energy, it is here to bless... take the blessings and open.  |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2010 : 7:14:40 PM
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brunoloff
Netherlands
47 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2010 : 12:28:41 PM
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Interestingly, there was indeed a big rise of energy on March 23, and today when I woke up it was completely smoothed out. I find it hard to believe it had something to do with lots people meditating in india, but who knows? :-)
Shanti I'm not particularly afraid of the things that happened, my only concern is to try to keep energy below the point of overload. The sensations in themselves are pleasant, but I've read many descriptions of how the path towards enlightenment can unfold, and through my own experience I have developed certain preferences :-) Energy overload followed by a crash is certainly not among those preferences.
I would really like a fast, comfortable, non-disruptive and happy path. I'll see how things evolve, and let you know :-) |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2010 : 12:41:58 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by brunoloff
I would really like a fast, comfortable, non-disruptive and happy path.
Amen to that!!! |
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Chrisk
USA
87 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2011 : 6:12:48 PM
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| try pacing your practice, i.e. move slowly through your deep meditation and see a doctor to prescribe some sleep aid pills. |
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Can't sleep with all the intense kundalini.
