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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 23 2009 : 12:13:33 PM
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Hi all,
A few days ago i said really bad words to a very close person. It was a anger reaction.
This person has gave me lot of good things in life and i must be grateful.
But all the things i said were things i really think about this person.Things about this person that i dont like and i decided to say it after years of being accumulated inside.
I feel guilty after this crazy reaction that happened.I hurt this person.
I think i must be sorry,and i must apologize.
A friend of mine told me that is stupid to say sorry if i really think all that things,because it doesnt put things right.It has sense here.Because my attitude was defensive and all the things i said are what i really think about this person.
What do you think about this? when you hurt somebody close to you because you feel he/she is hurting you and dont respect you but at the same time you must be grateful for all the things that had gave you in life (education,home,care...)?
How to manage this paradox (i love and hate this person at the same time).
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Edited by - miguel on Jul 23 2009 12:17:50 PM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2009 : 1:25:28 PM
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Hi Miguel....
Perhaps try dropping their name in samyama? If you are practicing samyama that is. |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Jul 23 2009 1:35:13 PM |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2009 : 1:43:32 PM
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i dont practice samyama.But i try it during the day sometimes.thanks.
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2009 : 5:18:21 PM
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The answer is very simple... say sorry and speak openly as to why you spoke the way you did and what was the part that was said in anger and what was said from within.
Even before yoga and meditation, if I ever snapped at anyone because I was tired or frustrated or angry, I always went back and said sorry. My dad taught me this. In India it was unheard of, a dad saying sorry to his kids, but if ever he snapped at us, and he felt he was wrong, he always apologized. I remember helping some 6-7 year old kids with a dance, and I was just back from work and had a bad headache and there was this one kid who would not cooperate.. and I scolded him. I felt really bad and so I apologized to the child and later to his mom (who was not there at that time).. the other parents there scolded me for apologizing to a child who was misbehaving.. but I could not have gone to sleep with the guilt of scolding a child when his only crime was, he was just being himself.
Before yoga, meditation I would just say sorry, but these days, (esp. with my kids) I apologize and explain why I reacted the way I did (stress, tired, hungry, angry) and what was the real message I was trying to get across to them.
Just speak from the heart. The only thing that feels it cannot apologize is the ego... go with your heart. Your soul will be at peace. |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jul 24 2009 : 03:58:53 AM
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quote:
but I could not have gone to sleep with the guilt of scolding a child when his only crime was, he was just being himself.
That was beautiful shanti!,children are very sensitive,more than us and maybe he will remember you all his life!
Thanks for the advices.
Sometimes is hard to apologize.
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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2009 : 8:03:03 PM
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I love Shanti's story, too.
I have been doing this a lot--going back and apologizing. Even if I had the "right" to be angry (yet it is a right that doesn't serve me or anyone else), I apologize for my part in it. "I felt I was treated unfairly, but that didn't make it right for me to make that nasty comment, so I apologize." |
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regret
