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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
 Posted - May 05 2009 : 11:52:36 AM
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Hi,
I wanna talk about a strange and unconfortable feeling happening here frecuently.
There are gaps in the day,and i dont know if its somedays of everydays, when i feel that im there,in the middle,stopped,and i feel all the world around me running,spining on his own frenetic rhytm.I feel that all around me is running very fast,and im there,in the middle of nowhere,stopped,only watching,but with a feeling of worry and nervousness about whats happening around.A very stressful stuff...
Rlated to this feelings,i have sometimes,frecuently,the feeling that all is a dream,includying the past,present...and the future.A very,very big dream in wich i have been involved,and now im....watching...
and i watch it,and i feel in the middle of a storm,because im not witnessing it totally,is like i watch it but i am swiming in its waters yet...And its STRESSFULL AND UNCOMFORTABLE...
Sometimes i feel that im dreaming with great intensity,and where before i saw persons,now i see bodys,inanimated bodys,dead bodys,and i feel behind all that dead reallity a big force,in wich all is united,and all we are that unique force.This force is ALIVE.And our phisical world is DEAD.
I watch all the world around me,and i see the people all the day worried about thousand stupid things,and i watch me with a feeling of "Oh...it doesnt matter,dont worry,where you think are you going?...".I ts like a "rastafarian" attitude of dont worryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...................
Other thing is happening here is related to time.Sometimes think it has passed 30 mtes and it was 5 mtes...i experience frcuently a clearly dilatation of time..
Also,feelings realted to my CHILDHOOD comes here,like flashes..very very intense feelings,and great joy...i wanna catch them,but they dissapear ...his hapens to me since i began spiritual path...
All this symptoms are the expression of one thing that is happening here recently...and i dont know if its related to the first stages of the witness...
Now,my ishta devata is the witness state...and WOW! each time i seek it in the middle of my difficult life,it inundate my self with....oh GOD!...I FEEL ALL AROUND DISSAPEARING and me opening a window to my self!!!(I have to stop because of possible overloads)....i feel high!
Other times i feel im not this body,im watching a movie,im behind...but only flashes...
Any advanced soul could identify in wich point of my journey im now?
Im going crazy!
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Edited by - miguel on May 05 2009 12:11:28 PM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 12:15:27 PM
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You seem to be in the Witness stage of the mind. Yogani's lesson will help:
Lesson 327 – The Evolutionary Stages of Mind
2. Witnessing – Perceiving the world, our thoughts and feelings as objects separate from Self. It is the beginning of relational self-inquiry, chosen or not.
Witnessing:
As mentioned before, the witnessing stage is a whole new ball game. It should be pointed out that there is witnessing and there is witnessing. There is a continuum of development as witnessing emerges. It begins as a passive inner condition perceived as a separation from the events going on around us, often first noticed during the occurrence of dynamic events. Everyone has had the experience of time standing still when a dynamic event occurred, like a car crash, explosion or other sudden change in our physical environment. When the witness begins to emerge, ordinary events are gradually experienced more in this way also. As witnessing continues to advance, our body, thoughts and feelings become objects of perception that are separate from our sense of self, our witness. This is an important development.
Before the witness has developed to the point where our thoughts and feelings become objects of perception, self-inquiry will be mostly non-relational, meaning not fully connected with who we are – pure consciousness. The dawn of the witness sets the stage for real self-inquiry, and an ongoing change in our life experience, for this is when the process can move beyond ideas to the direct experience. And the direct experience is beyond all experience. In the initial witness condition, we are experiencing, but we are not the experience. We are beyond it, seeing from the point of view of separate pure awareness.
There are a few more steps beyond the emergence of the witness that we must go through. It is not enough to be strongly established in inner silence, seeing the changing world as separate from ourselves. We must do something with it to move it forward. Evolution compels us to do so. With a little nudging, it happens naturally enough. This is where self-inquiry can have its greatest impact on our over all path to enlightenment, because we are able to make conscious choices based in our stillness. We see our thoughts, feelings and perceptions of the world for what they are, without being entirely identified with them. We are then able to engage in a way that is liberating rather than binding, both for ourselves and for others.
Other yoga practices are an aid to this process, such as samyama, spinal breathing pranayama, and additional practices that cultivate ecstatic conductivity (kundalini awakening) in the body. As we become more established in both inner silence and ecstatic conductivity, we experience refinements in perception and the movement of dynamic stillness into our thought processes. These developments support steadily increasing effectiveness in relational self-inquiry.
And moments from your childhood.. that happens as a process of purification and letting go. That is good. 
Enjoy!!! |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 12:27:56 PM
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Thanks Shanti.
I must say this is not permanent...there are parts of the day of more intensity of this than others...but the feeling im dreaming is almost permanent here...i feel tired of dreaming and i want to wakeup...its strange feeling,like all my life was a dream and its was not real!
And the dinamic of my life is different since i began s.path...now im not tatally involved in action,i see action like a big force bside me,it touch me due to my human nature,but now i dont "swim" in it totally involved....isee others involved,totally..
I must say this feelings are very very scary!!!
im afraid of going crazy,im afraid of loosing my old state!it was 26 years living in it!
How can i manage this fear!some kind of very very Real Stuff is coming here!
hELP!i CANT stop (how could i stop it and living the old life again ?)Just A little kiding...its a phase,maybe i have been doing bhakti a lot today..in the morning while driving in the car...and i arrived high at work in my ...dreams
Thanks shanti,for helping people in the forum!much love to you,i really love your attention and i wish you all the best in your beautiful path!Thanks yogani!!!My self in namaskar to your self!in eternal gratitude!
AUM! |
Edited by - miguel on May 05 2009 12:51:41 PM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 12:52:36 PM
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Nothing is permanent.. its all a process... and as you have seen if you try to hold on to it.. it moves further away.. the idea is to let it happen.. just ease into it.
I attended a satsang by Nithyanada last Friday. He explained something that I had not heard before. When you are in deep sleep and you are trying to wake up.. there are times when you realize its time to wake up but you cannot get up.. you feel like you are being suffocated and completely bound by deep sleep and all you want to do is wake up and be free. Right? It's the same with spiritual waking. You feel completely bound to this world and want to wake up and the restlessness and desire is pulling you toward waking up spiritually. Its a good thing. Just keep up with your practices.. self pacing (even bhakti) as required.. it is all falling into place.
Just read your edit.. much love to you too Miguel.. and many thanks to you for all your contribution and help you give so many at the forum. You have all my best wishes on your path. |
Edited by - Shanti on May 05 2009 12:56:42 PM |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 12:59:18 PM
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God bless you ...all the best..
Thanks for you lovely answer to my wishes,i feel it very deep inside!
I wish ayp touching all the human beings souls!i feel ayp came to me by itself,as an answer to my prays! i never forced it like i do in other paths i was involved before !
Grattitude!
PS-I think i could have more participation at the forum giving answers,but i read slow because of english and i can only learn from the topics for the moment.I have too much questions,few answers...
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Edited by - miguel on May 05 2009 1:12:15 PM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 1:19:34 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by miguel
I have too much questions,few answers...
... so ask away... then you will get tired of asking.. and start answering
How else do you think I have almost 2500 posts. |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 1:23:23 PM
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ha ha ha...thanks shanti
Much love, beautiful and lovely soul!
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Edited by - miguel on May 05 2009 1:24:06 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 7:17:17 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
quote:
Originally posted by miguel
I have too much questions,few answers...
... so ask away... then you will get tired of asking.. and start answering
How else do you think I have almost 2500 posts.
It could be like me - half of them are correcting spelling errors! |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 3:31:11 PM
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Ether,thank you very much for your beutiful presence and support in this forum.
God bless you |
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Is The Witness knocking on my door?
