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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
 Posted - May 02 2009 : 12:21:28 PM
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so something I faced today. energy has been up, anyways doing some computer assisted tantra (porn) well went past point of no return, lost the seed. The part that is frustrating is this brought me down to earth, more into my feelings. Well that is a good thing. frustrating part is the means that happened to get there. being more down to earth brought more humility as well, humility is great. Brought more clarity as to what my true hearts desires are. Frustrating is that it takes going down to see what is truly wanted. How many times will it take making this mistake? I accept that though revisiting, deeper understanding is gained. I desire to feel the inner sensuality and it feels like crossing an abyss from the outer to inner, but that is where I must go, I want to go. Love is what I want, to feel it inside with all my being. We are alive, in an amazing life
thanks
Brother Neil
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Lili
Netherlands
372 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2009 : 1:11:23 PM
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Hahahaha :)))))))))))))))) computer assisted tantra this is hilarious
I think you are beating yourself up way too hard--what do you mean by going down and making a mistake? Just take it easy on yourself for such trivial things. |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - May 03 2009 : 1:51:58 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Lili
Hahahaha :)))))))))))))))) computer assisted tantra this is hilarious
I think you are beating yourself up way too hard--
now was the pun intended here or not?  |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - May 03 2009 : 1:55:45 PM
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Oh God Neil.....you just about put me on the floor with this one! Thanks for the awesome laugh!
Love,
Carson |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - May 03 2009 : 2:09:07 PM
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"I think you are beating yourself up way too hard--"
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Lili
Netherlands
372 Posts |
Posted - May 03 2009 : 4:16:30 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by miguel
"I think you are beating yourself up way too hard--"
hihihihi this keeps getting funnier--sorry folks no pun intended--but with my non-native English--i actually wanted to sound serious and look what happened.  |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - May 03 2009 : 5:13:06 PM
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a challenge turned into a joke, Perfect, now I can laugh about it. 
thanks
Brother Neil
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Lili
Netherlands
372 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2009 : 05:42:11 AM
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Cool
Actually it was not meant as a challenge--just comment that ppl often make too much fuss about sex.
For instance if you are hungry and get a "restaurant assisted breakfast" you won't fuss and worry about it afterwards. If you are sleepy and have a "cafe-enabled coffee" you also won't recoil afterwards but it's OK to worry about sex and masturbation, feel guilty etc. I don't get this but there you go. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2009 : 07:43:31 AM
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| I agree with everyone - just let it go and move on. I have found you can waste much more energy feeling guilty than you did by losing the seed. So maybe some self inquiry as to why it upsets you. |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2009 : 7:16:14 PM
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sometimes conversing about something and putting it out into the universe, answers appear. Better then keeping it bottled up. discuss, evaluate, alter the course, and move on in a new direction.
that is the plan
thanks,
neil
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Edited by - brother neil on May 04 2009 7:26:49 PM |
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Akasha
421 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 11:30:40 AM
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thanks for the laugh, brother neil.
you are clearly a devoted practitioner!
yes,you are right,humility is a a gd thing-maybe there was lesson in there, after all.
quote:
Frustrating is that it takes going down to see what is truly wanted.
i know what you mean.
it's a strange paradox,that- the wisdom is often indeed there when you are down. And by this i mean, in life, generally speaking.sometimes when we feel up,in life generally speaking- the ego can or wants to creep back in, as it is good at knowing cunningly how to do this.
so therefore we can't be too complacent. i say this about or in context of our (mental) states generally,( not really pertaining to sex),whether we feel empowered or dis-empowered in life. Generalising, but when the ego creeps back in(like when we feel up,empowered in life but maybe not so aware of this) then the folly of complacency,less awareness, does too, if that makes anysense.i guess if you surrender completely then you should'nt need to fear ego as much,perhaps.
just bounced a few thoughts about.
it is good that you can share these things with other people.
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Akasha
421 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 4:58:01 PM
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I was also going to say that you could attempt to transcend ego through the cultivation of divine love, and the burning off of past karma( the [potential or latent]consequences of past actions, phenomena etc)
Although i'm new to this,AYP, this seems at least partly acheivable through DM.
(Obviously these are just concepts, or a framework if you like,but they do seem to help,in putting into... ,or investing even you might say, in practice.) |
Edited by - Akasha on May 05 2009 5:21:10 PM |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 6:53:52 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Akasha
it is good that you can share these things with other people.
Well I figure being honest with myself is a good way to get through things. thanks for your sharing as well
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Akasha
421 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 10:50:57 AM
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quote:
Well I figure being honest with myself is a good way to get through things. thanks for your sharing as well
Spot on!!
Thanks for the Lesson,bn.
Honesty arises naturally out of purity of mind.Not sure if this is a result of sublimation of sexual desire, or another effect of these practicces,or intertwined, but will sustain you in the longterm. probably does nnot serve you much to analyse it too much- just persist with the practices, and see where that leads you. but it is interesting wqhen you try intellectualise,philosophise it.
i have done these practices...and i can relate to the feeling you're talking about....sh*tttt.
i don't kknow if it was guilt(perhaps it was?)..it was more more dissapointment..frustration perhaps.
enjoy the scenery anway. |
Edited by - Akasha on May 06 2009 11:05:24 AM |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 7:48:31 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Akasha
quote:
Well I figure being honest with myself is a good way to get through things. thanks for your sharing as well
Spot on!!
Thanks for the Lesson,bn.
Honesty arises naturally out of purity of mind.Not sure if this is a result of sublimation of sexual desire, or another effect of these practicces,or intertwined, but will sustain you in the longterm. probably does nnot serve you much to analyse it too much- just persist with the practices, and see where that leads you. but it is interesting wqhen you try intellectualise,philosophise it.
i have done these practices...and i can relate to the feeling you're talking about....sh*tttt.
i don't kknow if it was guilt(perhaps it was?)..it was more more dissapointment..frustration perhaps.
enjoy the scenery anway.
nothing more frustrating then feeling like you are spinning your tires in the sand. Well now I am not doing that so I move forward. :) with love
brother neil
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 8:46:11 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by brother neil
nothing more frustrating then feeling like you are spinning your tires in the sand.
unless someone else is there to film it:
http://www.carstuckgirls.com/ |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2009 : 12:53:29 AM
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you trying to sabatage me to slip back into my old ways |
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Being honest
