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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 05 2008 : 11:32:30 AM
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Hi Albert,
you quoted me saying "many of my friends consider me their "local shaman/drug store".
And again, I do not consider myself a shaman, many of my friends consider me a shaman,( which I don't agree with I think it is mislabelling, I only said I hope I can be considered a "guardian angel" for some of my friends)
Yes AYP is helping me remove ALL of my previous addictions. Alcohol is gone. The desire for methamphetamine is gone. In 10 days methadone will be gone, and I am over 50% rid of marijuana. And I my desire and use of recreational drugs such as cocaine, ketamine, LSD, DMT, Research chems etc etc, have all been stopped.
And I haven't used ayahausca since I started with Kriya yoga which was BEFORE I started with AYP. That doesn't mean I don't think that it would not benefit me, it just means that I will know when the time is right to partake again. That time may never come, but I highly doubt that at this time. I will probably partake again someday once I have reached a more "advance yogic level" as you put it.
Thank you for your encouragement Albert, I'm sorry that I wasn't more clear for you in the beginning in saying that I don't consider myself a shaman OR healer in any way. I hope you can fully accept this now.
Just for future reference though, besides this thread here, the main thread in which my methadone detox is in discussion is here:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=4373
In Love,
CarsonZi
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2008 : 11:56:54 AM
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quote:
Yes AYP is helping me remove ALL of my previous addictions. Alcohol is gone. The desire for methamphetamine is gone. In 10 days methadone will be gone, and I am over 50% rid of marijuana. And I my desire and use of recreational drugs such as cocaine, ketamine, LSD, DMT, Research chems etc etc, have all been stopped.
Congratulations Carson. Om. |
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selfonlypath
France
297 Posts |
Posted - Oct 08 2008 : 01:28:02 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
Thank you for your encouragement Albert, I'm sorry that I wasn't more clear for you in the beginning in saying that I don't consider myself a shaman OR healer in any way. I hope you can fully accept this now.
Yes Carson, I finally understand all your AYP posts & private mails so I FULLY accept as you put it.
In Shakti, Albert |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 09 2008 : 10:46:48 AM
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A quick update.....
Yesterday I dropped from 2.5mgs to 1mg a day. I was expecting to be considerably ill as this is the largest drop I have had to do as of yet,(percentage-wise) but so far so good. I had another energy massage last night and I think it helped quite a bit (mostly with some sore back and neck muscles) and I actually got some decent sleep last night which is a miracle . I have exactly 6 days left on the methadone program now, and am vibrating with excitment to be clean already. Just wanted to keep you all up to date and let you know that I am actually doing really well all things considered. Thanks to everyone who is continuing samyama support for me, you are my guardian angels.
In Love,
CarsonZi
P.S. This may make some of you happy so I figured I'd include this as well....Yesterday I ran out of marijuana and I did not go and get more. I only smoked one joint yesterday, probably the least amount of pot I have smoked in ten or twelve years. I have decided to hold off on going to replenish my supply until I feel that I absolutely can't survive without it. This could mean that I have completely dropped my marijuana addiction as well. I'm not going to say this for sure yet, but I am for sure going to hold off on restocking until I absolutely have to. (for physical reasons I mean) I came to realize last night during my energy massage that I have an EXTREME attachment to marijuana, and I know this isn't healthy. My bhakti has been increased to the point where I am excited to be rid of another attachment..even if I AM still really attached. So wish me luck as I try and drop my last substance addiction
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Edited by - CarsonZi on Oct 09 2008 11:27:25 AM |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 09 2008 : 11:26:54 AM
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Carson, that is fantastic 
And thank you for reporting in - it is great to be able to follow from the side of the track.
See you in Samyama (and at other times when the call comes ) |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 09 2008 : 11:30:45 AM
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2008 : 10:26:19 PM
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Today is a new day....
Day Zero....
Monday at 3pm I took my last dose, (and it was an indeterminate dose no more then .5mg and as little as nothing) and that is it. I stopped two days early cause I couldn't help myself. I felt like I was just delaying the inevitable, and indeed I was. Today has been surprisingly great. I worked all day after getting a great nights sleep, (absolutely unbelievable!) had my evening meditation and rushed off to a friends house to help him move. I'm still in a bit of shock. I don't want to jump for joy just yet in case there is a delayed effect and it's going to get terrible in a day or two, but I'm starting more and more to think I'm free. Next week if I feel great still I'm going to make an appointment with my methadone doctor and do a follow up and try and get a copy of my files so I can PROVE that I did this the way I said I did. I can't wait. Thank you all for all the love and encouragement and blessings and prayers and samyama, it is all more then I could have ever hoped for in a million years. I have never felt more support from a group of people in my life. Not even from my family. Thank you all, I feel a kinship closer then blood with you all.
Love,
Carson |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 08:05:51 AM
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Wow, Carson......
Congratulations.
I will continue seeing you in Samyama.
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 08:07:21 AM
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| Did you notice....you dropped the Zi |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 08:11:36 AM
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Awesome Carson.
I have included you and will continue including you in my samyama. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 10:34:10 AM
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Thanks Katrine/Shanti,
Yes, I noticed I dropped the Zi. I changed my name to Carson Zi back when I was playing in a band because my family was being harrassed. Changing my last name made it harder for journalists etc to find things out about my past and bug my relatives. Nowadays, I still use Zi because that is how most people know me, but I dropped the Zi like I would if I was in the prescence of my family...I don't call myself "CarsonZi" in front of my family and when I wrote the above post I felt like I was posting to my family and I wanted it to be a little less formal. I really DO consider you all my family. So from now on I think I'm going to stick with singing off with just Carson, no need to pump myself up here.
In Love,
Carson |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 12:33:46 PM
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Still alive and ticking on day 3 without methadone...
I woke up today with a metallic taste in my mouth and a sore throat, but no withdrawls. The good thing about being clean is that I have this "restless leg" thing at nights which makes it hard to sleep, but this has really turned into a blessing in disguise. Ever since I became an opiate addict my sleeping patterns have changed. When I was a kid I hated sleeping in and hated going to bed early....life had too much to offer to stay in bed for longer then absolutely necessary. But since becoming addicted to heroin/methadone and ending my twice daily injections of methamphetamine, I started to NEED to sleep as long as possible, often staying in bed for more then 12-13 hours at a time if I could. For the past three days I have been awake at 5am and actually able to get up and go and do my meditation practices before I go to work. This is unreal for me. I usually get up at literally 10 minutes before I have to be at work...I take 2 minutes to get out to my car and 7-8 minutes to drive to work, and then I have my morning meditation once I am at work. ( I have a working circumstance that happens to allow me the freedom for noone to know about this but me) Anyways, other then the sore throat I feel fantastic. I'm still in shock that I am off methadone for REAL and I'm not dead or wishing I was. Oh, and I got a really inspiring email in my inbox when I got to work this morning which I posted about here: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....page=2#38981
Hope you all are having as great a week as I am!
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Oct 16 2008 2:24:08 PM |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 1:46:43 PM
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That's great, Carson
Wonderful....how it is all coming together!
I just thought I'd mention that a homeopathic constitutional remedy might be something you could benefit from right now. Even if you don't suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms; your body has been/is adapting to the stress of being without meth; it spends energy on this adaption.
If you keep getting sore throats, restless legs and metallic taste in mouth - a well chosen remedy might surf you through this fase.
I am still in awe of what you have accomplished - and the consequences for so many other people...it makes one smile continuously, doesn't it..
Keep enjoying life
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 2:02:54 PM
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| Congratulations Carson, you deserve it, an inspiring effort for all to enjoy! |
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selfonlypath
France
297 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 2:59:42 PM
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| Bravo Carson |
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