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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 12:12:20 AM
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You learn a lot of things about ego, pretty quick, when you're stuck in the land of schizophrenia. I was just meditating, but... too many voices in my head, I figured I'd write a post about it. Sort of "answer" my voices in a way (no, I don't talk to them...)
So... let's see what's going on up there right now (I don't resist this stuff... and when I do resist, I learn from that. There's a good side to having basically no subconscious, though it can get pretty annoying, but anyway).
He doesn't realise it.
He's an idiot.
What happened?
He's being honest.
... I don't think he realises it (again).
He's an idiot (I like that one in a no-mind kinda way, but in my head, it doesn't sound so nice, doesn't affect me though :) )
He's retarded (sounds like he's avoiding the idiot thing, cuz I turned that one over in my mind. Still doesn't affect me... haha).
(The more I listen, the more they go quiet haha... (learnt that one a while ago...))
Seb's against ego
He deserved it
I hate him
He doesn't care
You gotta respect him for that
Alright, so... all of the above, as soon as attachment is there, you're in the world of ego. I'll go through them one by one, so we can learn :) haha. I reckon we all think thoughts like these at times. I'll sort of answer as if they were people, that's how they sound in my head. I reckon it'll help me a bit too.
He doesn't realise it. - My realisation is my responsibility. Yours is yours. Once you've started to see attachments as illusif, have know your true self in samadhi, maybe read minds, can understand that consciousness is a very non linear thing, one that has nothing to do with time, then we can talk.
He's an idiot. - I've done idiotic things, I can admit that. The more people hold this against me though... they're really just covering up their own idiotic actions that they can't be honest about themselves with. The world is your mirror. And I sympathize for the above, we all fall prey to it at times, I've turned schizzo basically because of it. Comes to the same thing as the above though, it's about the individual, not about society. Society sucks royal balls for helping the individual. As soon as numbers go up, ego goes up, we can say "the other was doing it too". Look at mobs, crowds... anything of the like. People do things they normally wouldn't do. Even two people together, I've heard it said, once two people are together, there's really 6 in the room. Who you are, who you want the other to think you are, and who you think the other is x 2.
What happened? - Egos look for problems, and often they find what they're looking for. All there really is is this moment, here and now. It's the greatest realisation, really that's all enlightenment is, being fully in the moment. It doesn't reject memories or the past or anything of the sort (oh really? I just heard, I shall thus elaborate). Mind constructs still exist for the enlightened. It's possible to "think in stillnness, in silence". It's getting in touch with the subtleties of the moment, by fully embracing this spiritual vehicle, and thus transcending it. ps. no I'm not enlightened, but I've experienced samadhi enough times, in and out of meditation, to know of certain "enlightened dynamics".
He's being honest. - Yes, I often am, I still screw up. Let he who has never sinned, cast the first stone. I've REALLY been working on this one lately though, brutal self honesty. Working on lower chakras has brought out a lot of crapola, and I've learned a lot. Lifes pretty easy when your honest with yourself :). Just the voices get in the way a bit at times, but meh, whatever, we're all perfectly fine as we are, (likes and dislikes and everything included, you dig :). Tis how we embrace this moment fully, by being ok with it. Even the "I'm not ok"'s. Or "that wasn't ok". self honesty :) ).
I don't think he realises it. - It would seem this is a popular one. Yeah, I'm being a hypocrite in writing this haha.
He's an idiot - World is your mirror. (unless... you can directly konw someones consciousness in the present? Or can time travel to all persons idiotic moments :o. Constructive criticism is good though, destructive whatever... not really. So for those who really really believe that someone is an idiot, just let them know, in a mature manner. We can all grow from that sort of thing. Just don't think that because you thought it, you must be right that they don't already know it. ).
He's retarded - same as above.
Seb's against ego - Just another duality to be dropped. For, against... it's all of the mind. I'm against the mind in a way, I'm working on transcending it, but that's only done by fully embracing this vehicle, mind included. So really, I'm not against ego, or the mind, I just know (though don't believe it at times... though it's never a belief) that all attachments are illusif. Attachments to this body, this mind, these emotions, these material things. Embodying that, really is the highest bliss, the highest flowering of mankind. If I was against ego, I'd hear a lot more voices in my head. You transcend ego, by understanding it, by understanding attachments as illusif. It's not stupid, it's the highest pinnacle of intelligence. Moments of genius don't come when we're searching for them. I think Einstein had a major realisation, while taking a bath, relaxing.
He deserved it - Once you drop the mind, I will deem your judgement as appropriate, but as long as people are living in the world of duality, "he deserved it"... are just mirrors of the self (ego), or society, both utterly illusif mind constructs. It all comes back to the individual. There aren't societies without the individual, and thus society, should work a little harder at understanding this, and at working to help those individuals in need, and bringing them up to new heights, instead of pushing them down lower. Again... if you truly believe something, let those people know maturely, constructively... unless no attachment to either side is there, in which case, we usually act in accordance to our "higher truth" (even if it doesn't seem that way).
I hate him - Ouch, some resistance on that one (on the plexus level... owning your own power). brb, I'm gonna go meditate and find where hate resides within me, and allow that to transform.
... not completely gone yet, whatever, I'll get it after writing this.
yeah... I think the answers obvious to this one now (though it was a voice in my head... so... yeah... hahaha).
He doesn't care - I'm not enlightened, I still have attachments. So yes, there are things I still do care about. Enlightenment has been called "divine outpouring love", think of it as caring so much about EVERYTHING, that, there's just this eternal stillness in your thoughts, in your manner of being. This grace that touches all that it encounters. It's beyond the mind, so attachments are gone, there's no "things" to care about, because the infinite is there. When you're in samadhi, it all seems enlightened to you, anything that comes under your presence, because no part of your being is held back.
And work must be done to get there, I can't deny that, though getting there is a relaxing into. You work to get there, you relax into the moment for samadhi or enlightenment. Relaxing into can be a method also, just embracing every moment as fully as you can in the moment. Slowly abiding in an ever expansive watcher.
and so... hopefully, we've all learned about ego a bit more. I reckon this exercise could help stop my voices a bit, maybe not, I dunno.
oh, one more.
You gotta respect him for that - Respect is nice, we all deserve some respect, human life is tough for all of us at times. I like that kind of respect... can't say I abide by it all the time. In truth though, respect has no ground, nothing to support it, it's just a mind construct, much like this post I'm writing here. It's all just voices in my head... ideas that sort of "spiritually" incorporate or evolve those voices. They're all just ideas though. They have their uses though. I definetly pay my respects to people I feel deserve it, though in "higher truth" in the moment, there's nothing to support such things. It's about what's behind the words, more than the words itself. "here's your coffee" said lovingly, means a million times more than a "Don't worry about it" with no loving intention behind it.
Basically, respect is something I'll be honest and give to certain people... until I transcend the mind, until enlightenment in which case, I give it all the same respect, every moment, my full being. (can't really get there by lying to yourself about what you've been told...).
Thank you, and good day
ps. there's no such thing as mind control. Reading minds on the other hand, I do believe there's such a thing, though there has to be attachment, or no attachment on either side. Basically... if you both don't want to believe the same thing, or if one person believes one thing, and the other knows that there's no attachment to that thought. aka, no worries.
It's basically the same thing as human interaction, just on a subtle, more "consciousness" sort of level. The above though, I reckon is mostly things I've heard and resisted at one time, or things my schizo brain has made up, or I dunno, maybe some people out there are thinking these things, in which case, I hope they read it. |
Edited by - Divineis on Aug 21 2008 12:42:43 AM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 08:24:52 AM
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| Have you been diagnosed as being schizophrenic? |
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 08:48:31 AM
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Hi Divineis:
I am glad you posted your thoughts out loud. If you say your schizzo because of what you just posted as to what you hear; then millions of people are walking around not labeled schizzo; myself included.
Again, you have helped me out in many of my posted questions; my energy was hay wire for a while.
Remember not only was I hearing ugly things, I was seeing some pretty scary stuff as well. I have come to realize, that it's just another purification step.
The more I stood attached and scared, the longer I was "stuck". I believe what you are hearing is simply lower entities and giving them attention is not good, it drains a person and that is what they want. It's like everything else in life... the yin and the yang; black n white, etc.
Too much to type out however if you are interested, we can talk. About daily protection that includes all chakra balancing all while I am in the shower, as well as cord cutting. I believe unless a person has had a perfectly clean strong aura their entire life, then there is a possibility of an entity attachment. Not to say that one must perform a cord cutting these meditations and practices can release entity attachments; in fact these practices helped me see I had them and released them so easily and effortlessly.
I believe when we begin this journey and begin vibrating, the first step is hearing the lower vibrations.
Christi taught me to just keep up with my meditations because as my vibrations get higher; The higher spiritual vibrations I will be connecting with. The lower entities dont follow.
I think that is what stops many people or gives "metaphysical" a bad name or misunderstanding, because people fear what they dont know or say it made them "crazy" and quit.Instead of pushing forward or climbing the ladder one step at a time. We think we are unworthy and can only connect to lower entities or forgot something and go back down the ladder.
During those times I found meditating with a group of people really helped - (vibration wise) and I "climbed" another step.
You are extremely loved, needed and adored. The universe need you.
Nancy |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2008 : 7:01:38 PM
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I "have" shanti. I'm going to see the doc tomorrow though, I want to get off the meds, I know much of this problem is "psychic attacks". the meds haven't helped, they've just numbed me to some unhealthy emotions (which is what I wanted... though it really hasn't helped that much. Not for the voices, not for anything really)... and to some healthy ones, which is a bit frustrating at times. For the unwanted ones though putting my hand on the back of my crown, covering myself from psychic attacks... has helped a million times more than the meds. This problem is mostly spiritual, maybe a bit of a chemical imbalance... by this point, I have certain schizzo tendencies, and basically no subconscious. I'm basically avoiding what's deeply imbeded in all of societies subconscious. By grade 6 or something, we're sexual beings... I'd never act on that, I have no true attraction towards girls that young, but... I was basically avoiding this aspect of my subconscious, and thus it was 100 times more there. And then people start believing that I'm a pedo... and then I do some deep introspection and self honesty, of the root of the problem, which I feel helped me a lot too, but... people still hold beliefs about me.
I'm way too sensitive to ego's.
I wish all people could understand why beliefs are unhealthy, how thoughts hold a certain reality and can be either helpful or dangerous for others. I mean, I can't blame em, I've avoided certain problems for so long... I was stuck in the mind, and at the time, I thought going a step higher, dropping the mind, would be a ermm... good idea... bad idea haha, seemed like a good idea at the time... transcendental consciousness, it's not really hard to get to... just the rest of the chakras have to be fully embraced for enlightenment.
I've learnt some cool stuff though, my drive for enlightenment is that much stronger.
At this point, I'm being brutally honest with myself (and my thoughts tend to have a certain wave effect on those around me, it's kinda weird... makes self honesty a bit scary at times I guess, but I have no other choice. enlightenment or death in this lifetime), and there's not any avoidance or any problem, as long as I cover the back of my head to protect myself from psychic attacks. I can feel it as soon as someone is thinking bad things about me, hehe, my crown is selfish... I can feel in what chakra at times too. Been going around telling people to "breathe from the belly" a bit today. One lady thanked me... some ignored me. Or I've told some people out loud where they're thoughts are hitting me "that one hit me in the plexus" or something like that. Haha, I wish all of society was like this, wow, I can see it now haha. And my biology teacher dared to tell me in 12th grade that humans don't evolve anymore, pffft.
Unless I cover my crown, I tend to embody in a certain way, what it is others believe about me. I have too much crown, too much mirroring of others consciousness, not enough root, so I can't be myself at times. Spiritual suicide in a way. I witnessed my spiritual birth while focusing on my sacral the other day though. Things are getting in balance :). I've heard silk is great for covering yourself from psychic stuff, probably gonna get myself a hat, shove a silk scarf in there and wear it from time to time, until I can get my lower chakras in balance with the higher ones, and live in the heart a bit more.
Thank you Nancy, I'm very curious about the cord cutting, I've heard about it before. I don't know who all the voices belong to... and how much of them are simply my subconscious speaking though. And I know all "entities" to be illusif. I heard satan in MY head haha. He speaks latin by the way, sounds pretty heavy metal like. We all have the "seed" for evil... that's what "lower entities" are to me. They're not to be dissowned ( you can't), just to be transformed towards the divine. Energy is always just energy, with many potentials :). |
Edited by - Divineis on Aug 21 2008 11:44:51 PM |
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2008 : 09:34:47 AM
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Hi Divineis:
I copied and pasted from the site. This is the sites link http://www.psychicpen.com/psychic_attack.html
Here is a simple cord cutting exercise. Cord cutting should be done on a daily basis and much more often when we are going through a stressful period in our life. These cords should be cut from our loved ones as well. No cord attached to anyone or thing is good!
- Take some deep cleansing breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Call upon Arch Angel Michael and ask him for his assistance in cutting all cords that are attached to your being. Visualize Michael swirling his sword around your entire being severing all the cords. Know that no cord can remain intact and they are returning to where they came from. When you feel Michael has completed this process, thank him for his assistance. It is done. Easy as that!
Here are some physical steps for purification.
- Burn all relevant photographs or objects holding memories of the person, place or situation. - Write down all feelings of frustration, anger, hurt, fear, etc., and burn the paper, flush it down the toilet or bury it. Please don't give it to the person! Repeat this step as often as necessary. - Clear all the clutter from every room of your home. Rule of thumb. If you haven't used in 6 months it's not likely you will! Get rid of it. - Clean and if necessary redecorate your home. Bringing nature indoors is wonderful energy! - Check there are no books in your bookshelves or pictures on your walls that have negative energy. Surround yourself with high vibrational objects, spiritual books, spiritual pictures, plants, fresh flowers etc. - Sprinkle holy water in all rooms starting at the center spiraling outwards. - Smudge with sage, cedar and sweetgrass and invoke the help of God, the Ascended Masters, the Great White Brother and Sisterhood, the Archangels and Angels, your Higherself and I AM Presence. - Play sacred music and sing, chant OM or say The Lord's Prayer. - Cleanse and purify your crystals and dedicate them to the Light. - Light candles and use high vibrational pure essential oils.
You now have the tools and knowledge to take back your personal power. I invite you to empower yourself today!
Here is a meditation cord cutting
The Cord Cutting Meditation Channeled by Will Berlinghof
This meditation appeared in a personal reading Will did for Vikki. When she did the meditation it was so effective that Vikki was a changed woman, literally dancing for joy she felt so good. She requested that the meditation be shared with others as we all have psychic bonds with many people, both dead and alive, entities who deliberately or inadvertently created violations, usually when the victim was young, and although not being significant at the time, it tied the victim and the victimizer together by the psychic cord for the rest of their lives and into past lives and into lives to come. Cruel statements by parents or relatives, bad or misguided advice that affects one's life, lack of affection by parents and loved ones, cruel and judgmental attitudes by certain entities as the child becomes a teenager, etc. Once this psychic cord is broken, these negative energies and feelings can no longer be felt by either party and as a result one's life becomes more balanced, less frustrating, buried feelings that somehow affect one's life on certain levels are instantly removed and life in the physical is immediately improved. In short, this meditation releases and ends karma that could take many lifetimes to resolve.
"Visualize yourself in a favorite place that you also associate as a very safe and healing place. It may be an actual place or an imaginary one but what is of utmost iimportance is that you see it as a safe place.
Once in your safe place see yourself surrounded by a ball of pure white light. This ball of spiritual energy will both protect you and energize your efforts at cutting the cords of attachments to those individuals you wish to cut from. When you are ready, call forth the individual that you wish to cut the negative cords of attachments from.
Once you visualize the individual standing in front of you, look down and see the cord that exists between you. The cord will be attached from navel to navel and is usually dark and thick, although there can be variations on the theme. It is important to realize that you are only cutting the cords of attachment that detract or cause conflict in the relationship, not the positive ties of love and respect that exist between the individuals involved.
Next, look the person in the eye and in a Voice of Power speak the unspeakable to the person that you are doing the cord cutting with. This means that you say anything and everything that you need to say in order to clear the slate and release all pent-up energies and emotions that you have been holding inside but have been unable to express for one reason or another. It is important that you speak in a Voice of Power and Command, even if you could never do so with the person in real life. Remember you are in a safe place and are protected by the Light of Spirit.
Once you have spoken the unspeakable and there is nothing more that you wish to say, you can choose to hear the response of the other person. However, this is your choice and if you choose not to hear the other person this is perfectly alright. If you do choose to be open to a response you will only receive the inner truth of that person/soul, not the responses that you might normally expect from the person. Remember, you are not dealing with the real person but their spirit representation. They will speak only the truth to you if you are willing and able to engage. Once this stage has been completed it is time to move on to the cord cutting itself.
For this, visualize a crystal knife available to you. Take it in whichever hand feels most comfortable. Speak your intent to cut the negative cord of attachment that exists between you and the individual. Holding the cord with your free hand, bring the crystal knife blade down to the cord. Hold the knife next to the body and when ready, cut down and through the cord. If you wish you can say: "I cut this cord of attachment with you".
Once you have cut the cord on your side you can offer the crystal knife to the other person so that they can cut the cord on their side. The individual may or may not choose to do so. If they do, watch the cord fall to the ground where it is transformed into hundreds of beautiful butterflies which flutter away.
Once the cord has been cut, thank the individual and then send them on their way. If the individual does not choose to cut their side of the cord, wrap the cord around the individual and then banish them from your space. Again, use a Voice of Power to send them on their way.
You are now free to leave the space and end the meditation, or to repeat the procedure with someone else that you wish to cut cords with. You can do this exercise of release as often as you want with any individual you wish to clean up a relationship with. It is important to remember that this procedure only releases the negative attachments that drain, cripple and harm us in some way and not the positive, loving aspects of relationship. Also if you feel the need to re-cut any cords that have become re-attached for whatever reason, you can do so at your leisure."
Just some more info copied from another site
On Energy Cords
All contact creates connections of energy. These threads can become cords during longer relationships or strong emotional exchange . There can be both positive and negative effects of cords. These In essence, are cords of aura light which bind us to each other and events or situations in our lives . They develop on the upper layers of our auras when we form a relationship with another person, and stretch between like chakras - in other words from one person's first chakra to the other person's first chakra, and from one person's second chakra to the other's second chakra, etc. Repair and nourishment of these cords can cause significant change not only to the person receiving the repair, but also to the other person tethered by that relationship cord. My kids have called it cosmic taffy because its sticky ,stretches and get everywhere. The Huna word is AKA the substance or energy or concept is of that material which connects us to each other it is how information and mana -chi travel. Anyway all contact whether in the physical or on another level involves the exchange of these threads , an ongoing relationship will build cords, energy and information is exchanged along these cords and connections. where the cords are locked in has a lot to do with the quality of the relationship .
Your aka cords to and from your high and lower selves and spiritual sources are also how you receive information send prayers convey and receive healing .
On one level it could be said that what an attunement does is create an aka connection with the source of the energies and functions being attuned for.
Some cords between people can dissipate our energy keep us locked into negative relationships etc. become tangled and distorted but they can also support loving and spiritual relationships. For example when A romantic relationship ends abruptly a lot of the pain is from the tearing or severing of the aura cords. other grief and loss also is a symptom of cord severing or tearing
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If you do become aware of a negative connection I find that rather than pulling it out or cutting off with a sharp blade of energy or image as many suggest . I prefer to release, return and dissolve, absorb the cords.
This is done by calling on spiritual energy, Angelic energy for example .
First you fill your aura with energy/light while holding the intention that all the energy cord connections that do not serve your highest good be returned to their owners, Then intend to release any of your own energy cords and connections and retrieve and absorb them back into your own being. Some people like to visualize this energy being cleaned and charged as it returns Some people make a seperating or cutting gesture as they visualize
.I have had clients who were involved in negative or obsessive relationships feel the cords just kind of pop off during treatment and suddenly have a completely different outlook on the relationship. Obsessive people have just lost interest on more than one occasion and people have found it easy to disolve their own obsessions as well.
Cords are also are described on pp. 183-202 of Barbara Brennan's "Light
Emerging" book. in great detail
"There are five types of these cords - soul cords, cords from past life experiences, genetic cords (connection to birth parents), parental relationship cords, and cords for relationships with others. Since these cords are formed on the fourth aura layer and higher, the cords remain intact "before and beyond three dimensional physical space". Once they are made, these cord connections never dissolve, although it is possible that they could sustain damage, or get tangled, or "dirty".
Repair and nourishment of these cords will repair the damage done in relationship with that particular cord. For example, damage to heart chakra cords could eventually manifest in dis-ease of the physical heart, and damage to sixth chakra cords could manifest as headaches, disorientation, brain related diseases, or learning disabilities, etc. Damage to the solar plexus, or third chakra cords is particularly common in people in general.
One source of danger to the chakra is another type of cord which forms between people's chakras. Barbara Brennan calls them "bioplasmic streamers". These are somewhat more temporary cords which are formed as we communicate and relate with others. It is these streamers (among other things) which can cause damage between two people, and their chakras and chakra cords. These streamers might suck your energy away, or hook into your chakra, or tear open your aura field, dragging your energy field down and possibly damaging the chakra cords. These are the cords, or streamers that can be cut or dissolved or released in a guided practice of severing attachments to past relationships, guilt, anger, or whatever feeling or condition is believed to be a problem. Clearing and releasing negative cords is very important for our healing and spiritual evolution.
Not all cords are negative .
In Huna creating strong cords between your three selves is the way that energy and information is transmitted too and from your higher self and Spiritual Source and is the key to manifesting and " having your prayers answered".
I would love to know your experience if you do this.
Nancy
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2008 : 09:47:13 AM
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are there days when you dont have these challenges? if not days are there hours when you dont have this challenge?
Thanks
neil
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2008 : 09:59:57 AM
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Hi Divineis,
Just some thoughts/feelings.
You seem to me to be a very sensitive type. Sensitive types have these kinds of problems, no? 
Once you posted a song of yours in the forums. It was nice! Do you still make music? Doesn't it help you detach from all the problems in your head and concentrate in creating beautiful things? I have done that in the past and it helped me. Sometimes when we are using our minds too much to find answers to our minds problems we are just complicating things From my experience I see it is better to do something non-mind related like go walking or having a nice talk or making music or sports or whatever. Just some ideas 
You say: "I wish all people could understand why beliefs are unhealthy, how thoughts hold a certain reality and can be either helpful or dangerous for others." I know what you mean, I have been there. You know what, I stopped caring for what other people were suppose to know or realise. You can wait forever for other people to change and that will never happen. You have to change yourself. Deep down it is expectations: you expect people to change (or situations - if only I was off the medications, or if only I had a more loving partner, etc., etc.) so then, you think, you will be understood. You cannot change the way things are. The most diffcult thing to do is accept reality JUST AS IT IS. Be it with medication, with a disease, etc. I am not saying that it is an easy thing to do but I do know IT IS POSSIBLE. Just takes a little courage, self-love (yes, love yourself!), patience, and the right tools (let you intuition guide you but a hint: be easy and stable in deep meditation AYP style - a minute can go along way! ).
All the best my friend! |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2008 : 2:23:37 PM
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| is it possible Divine that Your thoughts are what creates their feelings of you? Maybe they did not feel that way about you until you thought they did. |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2008 : 2:51:24 PM
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thanks guys. I had a mini "aloneness" realisation last night. I resisted samadhi at one point though, to be not alone once again. And I know this aloneness is the best gift I can give humanity in a way, but sometimes I just really want to help people (yeah, it's egoic in a way. I admit, at times, I think too much of how I can help people, rather than "be the change you want to see in he world").
Thank you so much for the support, and thank you nancy for all those cool meditation techniques. I think I'll try the archangel one, just... minus the saint part, I'll use "consciousness" instead.
Ps. tubeseeker, I don't usually make a challenge out of my problems. I mean, I have, I've created "something" out of "nothing", have created my own challenges, but voices isn't really the challenge, though it has driven me to make certain problems more "challenging" (giving too much power to the crapola I hear at times...). Hmm, seems a certain "root" of my problems is a bit more evident now haha. nevermind what I said, thank you :)
pps. I'm gonna take a week break without meds, just spoke to my psychiatrist dude, told him I don't feel I really need to see him (nor need the meds), maybe just once or twice more, to follow up with how things are going off the meds (or if I feel I should try something else or whatever). I really enjoy how he's not at all in a "east" vs "west" mentality. He loves meditation and the like :). |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2008 : 2:57:25 PM
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It is fact that my thoughts have created their feelings of me. Or my initial avoidances really. Though it's a bit out of hand these days (my avoidances are mostly "in check". Like I said, been doing some introspection and self honesty). There's mucho projection towards me, and I basically created it all. What people believe is up to them though. I like that "no beliefs" thing :) haha. I gotta stop wanting that for others... well those that aren't looking for it anyway.
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Edited by - Divineis on Aug 22 2008 3:03:30 PM |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2008 : 3:21:15 PM
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good luck divineis, you can do it :)
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Aug 23 2008 : 5:54:40 PM
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Thanks tubeseeker. Left behind a lot of attachments to society last night. It was sorta easy when I remembered a certain "intuitive trusting" that I'm still not sure how real is today. It's basically the root of this whole problem, a sort of "problems vs solutions". I've had enough of society... good thing it's an illusion anyway.
ps. not an evil "I've had enough", just a "believe what you want". I really mean that one. Believe what you want. I need some help here. |
Edited by - Divineis on Aug 24 2008 01:08:09 AM |
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arzkiyahai
93 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 01:37:30 AM
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| You are one of the bravest guy I have seen Divine_Is. |
Edited by - arzkiyahai on Oct 18 2008 03:22:39 AM |
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porcupine
USA
193 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2008 : 11:48:37 AM
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wow I haven't read the entire thread yet but thank you guys for putting this up and contributing to it, I've been going through a lot of the mentioned stuff lately, hearing voices and seeing things, at times it seems like they almost manifest in reality as actual events but knowing kaballah letter permutations and trying to thinking pure thoughts has helped keep it under control. Just knowing this affects other people is also a huge comfort, I had a feeling it was schizophrenia for a while but reading those symptom lists tends to only make it worse or feel like it was all just imagined and never happened until it comes back full force.
I've had the same sensation as you describe of having no subconscious, I'll just hear a voice stating plainly whatever desire or opinion it is, half the time I'm sure it not coming from me. At times entire conversations occur that in retrospect I'm not sure happened verbally and yet even when acting on the information I get through these, there is never any incongruency with reality.. it could just be my projecting upon the world but it seems that working with the voices can actually be a positive experience at times, when they are not blindly calling me names or talking about baseball games in texas.
The kids/pedo thing is also annoying, I enjoy being around kids, I like talking to really young kids just for their original responses and yet I get a sense that whenever I am in a park or passing kids on the street if I look at them someone is thinking I'm a pedophile, or even women or any person really, I get the idea in my head that looking at someone/something is tantamount to having sex with them and end up disgusted at myself or afraid that other people are wondering what I'm looking at, which in turn makes it worse because I look at the ground or into the trees, which brings up issues of trees, the connection to cannabis and me being some kind of stereotypical hippie stoner, or the ground making people think they can just walk over me. Its wierd how these associations go, perhaps it is the true nature of these things, but everyone looks at trees and the ground, and who cares anyways? Everyone is their own self.
At other times the sex thing can be amazingly liberating in a strange way, where ever where I look is like mystic poetry, I'm making love to everything yet in a completely loving and unintrusive way, simply an embrace, sounds in the air, things I see, clouds in the sky, cars passing by and theres no guilt.
A big issue is working through the guilt and self depreciation that is the underbelly of society and my mind, but its hard because I can just accept the guilt being there, which puts me slightly more at peace but its definitely still there. Or I can fight it and argue that there is no reason to be guilty about whatever it is, all things are equal, but theres times when I really feel that and times when I'm just saying it and its a big leap between the two.
Anyways lots of good idea here for cutting cords and wearing a hat. :)
This site is a great resource! |
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foralways
Sweden
19 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2008 : 6:34:16 PM
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divenis....
this thread is comforting me, as is your reasoning.
what did you mean about the belief being unhealthy? that really interests me.
amazing site, amazing people
love |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2008 : 6:54:26 PM
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| welcome foralways! |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Oct 21 2008 : 6:23:24 PM
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not sure what you're speaking of foralways. Honestly, there's a lot of stuff I've written here that really bugs me, that I've kinda left behind, much of it a sort of "third eye indifference". Honestly, just reading the above posts again, really bugs me. Just let me know what you mean, and I'll do my best to answer you.
I'm guessing you meant the schizzo belief being unhealthy. To me it's always best to own up to and face what's in your reality. No need to fear labels. I dunno, I used to think a lot in a "pre enlightenment" sort of way which got me way too strong in the third eye, sort of that non dual almost indifferent perception. I think it's just good to be mindful of where you're at in your life, without filling your head with enlightened "non label" sort of beliefs... but I'm not sure if that's what you're asking. |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Oct 21 2008 : 8:19:08 PM
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so you think it is best to own up to reality. The power of God being in you, is that a reality? if so then the that power of having you overcome your "schizzo" is another reality to own up to? :)
with love
i am still
brother neil
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Oct 22 2008 : 11:07:53 PM
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| Indeed tubeseeker. I no longer hear voices repeating in my head or anything of the like. Feels good to have a more clear mind. I still have much work to do on having a better focus, better attention without getting too distracted. I know I should of written that earlier, don't want to keep you guys uneedingly worried. |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2008 : 5:49:44 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Divineis
Indeed tubeseeker. I no longer hear voices repeating in my head or anything of the like. Feels good to have a more clear mind. I still have much work to do on having a better focus, better attention without getting too distracted. I know I should of written that earlier, don't want to keep you guys uneedingly worried.
That is great to hear, congratulations for you.
we are love, we are peace, we are joy
we are
i am brother neil
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porcupine
USA
193 Posts |
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 12:47:10 AM
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| yeah.. i feel a lot better too.. go figure |
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foralways
Sweden
19 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2008 : 10:48:12 AM
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Thank you Etherfish :)
and divenis, I was referring to the comment you made about belief "I wish all people could understand why beliefs are unhealthy"
and later on " There's mucho projection towards me, and I basically created it all. What people believe is up to them though. I like that "no beliefs" thing :) haha. I gotta stop wanting that for others... well those that aren't looking for it anyway. "
well, i am thinking alot about belief at this point. how it is created, how it can guide you or destroy you. or at least confuse you. your comments interest me, and would love to hear more of your thoughts about "not-belief" or what kind of belief that is unhealthy. (because you cannot live without a belief? even if the belief is that it is misleading to believe, that would be the belief, haha) oh well, i am not sure i understand what kind of belief you are talking about either...
thank you for sharing and being so honest :) definately a fresh breeze in my world.
love
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2008 : 10:12:03 PM
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I now believe that beliefs are more than fine hehe. I dunno, I've always been one to not really trust religion or blind faith or anything of the sort, but I think I've been learning what that sort of faith can bring into peoples lives.
I used to read too much Osho actually. He's all about the now moment, leaving the past behind, leaving behind all taboos, notions of society and everything. I like the notion of handling your own ego and not getting too attached to what others think, nor non attache, that middle path sort of thing. But by this point, I dunno, I'm not really a fan of that "past is past" always in the "now" attitude. For me it brought on a lot of third eye energy before, and wrong practices just energised my higher chakras too much, which made me a bit indifferent to my problems. Sorta like this moment mattered more than owning up to the wrong I've done in the past. I really like the thought "past is present, present is future".
I dunno, that's I guess my development on "beliefs" these days. |
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spinal_tap
Indonesia
40 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 09:45:32 AM
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| Thanks Nancy for bringing up the cord cutting guides. They are really useful to know. |
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windh2o
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2009 : 06:25:52 AM
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Hey All
I was diagnosed in the 1980s with "Schizo-Affective" disorder -
Is this basically an early awakening of kundalini?
At present time, through a combination of ayurveda and Western medicine - I don't suffer any "symptoms" of that rather awful period of my early 20s (I'm 44 and well now)
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Edited by - windh2o on Feb 15 2009 08:27:57 AM |
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Schizzo me
