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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 05:39:14 AM
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Hello 
I thought of sharing the problem of choices with you. Recentely I will have to make some important choices. This is how I see them anyway. It is a choice involving career, lifestyle, country of living etc. It will put me in very different circumstances (near or far from family and loved ones, one a safer or less safe path maybe professionaly for the future, etc., etc.)
I don't expect answers to come from anywhere but myself but it has been difficult (I think my purpose in life must be to learn about choices...it's been so difficult!). But I just have been noticing some things regarding choices and would like to hear some comments from your yogic point of view.
I have thougth about two points of discussion:
- whenever there is a difficult choice to be made I seem to be very divided. There are positive and negative factors on both sides. But somehow my heart usually tends to one side, a lot of times towards something that my mind seems as unatainable, or foolish, or dream-like. A lot of self-help books would say "go with your heart". This is, at least for me, easily said than done! My heart's call is strong but I don't know how to follow it's path! The problem is that the heart's way offers no concrete path, just a mix of feelings, sensations, and images regarding the path it likes the most (and some grim images of the path it likes the least). On the other hand the mind is very cold (no emotions) and goes for the safe choise (usually the one with less "heart") and most of the time I end up being miserable with that choice. How to find the balance? (believe me, I struggled with this for years)
- from the yogic point of view and all the non-duality disciplines it would seem that it doesn't really matter. We are all one, right? There is no duality, and so choice, ultimately, does not really matter. But we all know in our every day lifes that choice does matter. Life is choice really, without choice there is no life. Even making no choice it's a choice in itself. But at the same time it might ultimately be true (for an enlighted person) that choices don't really matter. So, how do you resolve this?
Thanks a lot for "listening". All the best in your choices! |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 09:43:04 AM
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Don't live your life thinking it's a dream by believing in nonduality. Find out if we all are truly one, and if there really is no duality. I mean, if an unenlightened person says "well it doesn't matter because we are all one so I'm gonna chain smoke", and they do it, soon enough they'll have lung cancer and a host of other problems. And apparently, according to the nondual theory, none of that matters...but it's no fun sitting in a hospital on a respirator.
About choices...if something is going to make you miserable, don't do it. If something takes a little balls to achieve, and it will make you happy and is a decision from the heart - do it. Jump into the void. Just jump and freefall. Feel the fear and learn to live in it. Be comfortable in having no control. What have you got to lose, your own life? It's already not yours. |
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Hunter
USA
252 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 12:19:04 PM
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YogaIsLife,
You have a gift for written expression, I have been enjoying your posts very much. I have trouble articulating my own thoughts and feelings through written word.
Anyway, regarding your post. I recently discovered that all of my struggles in the past for making decisions arose when I began muddling or comparing my heart's choice with beliefs which were really not my own, but I wanted to hold on to or when I wanted to live according to an outside standard.
I instantly know what choice to make; the struggle comes when I second guess with beliefs.
For example, when I started reading books by Paramahansa Yogananda and other teachers like him, I started making choices based on what I thought he would do or not do. Or I would say to my self: "I want to be enlightened like these people, so what would be the enlightened choice?"
Eventually I gave the mental middle finger to my ideas and beliefs about enlightenment and to the teachers which I admired in order to allow my pure heart to shine through and guide me.
(P.S. I'm not saying you should do the same, giving middle fingers and all...  I am just sharing my own experience. Anger is a common emotion for me and I use that to my advantage.) |
Edited by - Hunter on Jul 16 2008 12:23:08 PM |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 1:15:18 PM
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| Great post Hunter! |
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2008 : 6:08:57 PM
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quote:
I mean, if an unenlightened person says "well it doesn't matter because we are all one so I'm gonna chain smoke", and they do it, soon enough they'll have lung cancer and a host of other problems. And apparently, according to the nondual theory, none of that matters...but it's no fun sitting in a hospital on a respirator.
HAHAHA That made me laugh! Yes, I agree Scott, I see it the same way.
quote:
YogaIsLife,
You have a gift for written expression, I have been enjoying your posts very much. I have trouble articulating my own thoughts and feelings through written word.
My man Hunter, thank you so much! I blush and all, look!  haha I guess it just takes training to do it if you really want to, that's all. In my life I had to tare things apart in my own mind and so I guess I got to practice But I think you can and do express yourself in a lot of ways, walking, dancing, talking, painting, writing, singing, etc. It's just a matter of going for it really!
quote:
Eventually I gave the mental middle finger to my ideas and beliefs about enlightenment and to the teachers which I admired in order to allow my pure heart to shine through and guide me.
I think this is very true. A portuguese philosopher that died recentely and that I admired a lot used to say that his best "students" - if he had any, he used to say -, were the ones that always criticised his ideas and never took them for granted. I think this is very true. The ideas never are really ours if we just take them from somebody else. But we can make them our own by direct realisation and experience, by really thinking about them in our own minds and, especially, deciding by ourselves if that is true for us or not. I think yoga is about this as well.
And I agree with you that anger can be a great motivator if turned into something positive. I had used the middle finger to my advantage in creative expression as well! Well, anger exists and it has to go somewhere. It is a strong energy. I think it was in the peaceful warrior novel that socrates (the "guru") got happy when his student started to get angry. It was better than no reaction, he said. It was something he could work with. But if anger stays just as anger I guess it is not good either.
Well, I just wanted to share something. A crazy thing. My own problems with decisions had to do also with me feeling down a lot and not really knowing why. I would feel drained and also would feel like stuck on my left side of the body (eye, neck, abdomen) and things like this. I didn't know what it was, I thought it was energies imbalances between left and right side, or psychological stuff, or thinking too much about my health, the future etc. I even have been doing blood tests and stuff like that to check. I wanted to get to the bottom of this. Turns out I took a wisdom tooth out today! It was decaying and probably (I really hope this helps with the symptoms I was feeling) it was causing all or most of the discomfort! Sometimes it is the stupidiest things...So, if you are feeling down don't immediately think it is something complicated like something psychological or energetic (it could be as well) but check your body as well, it could just be a rotten tooth, those are nasty! I had to take 2 in 3 months!! That explains at least some of my bad feelings...
So, when you are feeling like that (imagine you are feeling down and don't know why, no matter what you try) it is very hard to make decisions, isn't it? And no philosophy in the world (self-help books, etc.) can help you really. It can be quite sh*tty in truth! But I do believe meditation helped me with all this. It made me see things more clearly, more calmly and I just woke up one day recently thinking "could it be this tooth?". Two days later I was taking the tooth out Crazy... Especially because I didn't expect it. I thought it was maybe just a filling that was misplaced or the like...
So, I guess the cliche "Just follow your heart" has more to it than that...I do agree with it at a fundamental level (it is great to go with our hearts' feeling) but we do have to be honest and aware of ourselves foremost and not just jump into an empty pool. I believe I have done this in the past. That is why I love awareness and self-pacing  We are always learning.
All the best my friends! |
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choices,choices,choices: the yogic way?
