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DougSmith2
Canada
5 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 08 2008 : 11:45:22 PM
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| The weekends are tough for me. Ive been failing in my struggle against alcohol. It happened again this saturday night. I dont know what my deal is. It is having a negative effect on my meditation. Ive found meditation to be so precious and has become a main interest of mine. Ive gained so much from it. Like my job and new appreciation for life I gratefully believe meditation has helped me get there. But It seems that anytime I go go out and do anything on the weekend I end up abusing alcohol and getting drunk. Its just Ive gained so much from meditation and I feel like Im letting myself and god down. I feel deep shame and guilt the next day usually. I ask god for help and strengh. This is a main weakness in my life. I continue to fall into the hole every time it comes up. I need to make a change. |
Edited by - DougSmith2 on Jun 09 2008 10:30:56 PM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2008 : 12:37:31 AM
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Hi Doug!
Have you tried the 12-step program? Many alcohol addicts have, so you might be familiar with it. Yogani usually recommends that if you feel difficulties handling your addiction. You can find more links about that here:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=2217
Otherwise, in general, if you want to start changing a behaviour like that, it's essential to look at the triggers. What triggers you in the first place? It's obviously happening something long before the actual drinking starts that is sort of the signal, and when the signal goes... your pattern follows. I know for example many drug addicts who are on heroin and they know that even if they just gonna go out for a beer after work, that beer can be the signal for "letting go" of all self-control and then they are back on heroin before midnight! So they refrain from going out to have a beer. Always.
Wish you all the best, and remember, stillness works in between meditations also, so it's very good that you keep your meditation! |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 12:54:30 AM
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I would look into Karma Yoga. The nature of Karma suggests that fundamentally there would be no state of "I kicked my alcohol habit". Rather, you simply choose not to drink each time and obviously you build karma for each time you don't and it becomes easier.
I struggle with similar addictions of the senses. The act itself I believe it not the worst part - it is the shame and guilt. I think these emotions can help to encourage avoidance next time, however, it is not beneficial to become attached to these emotions. Next time you feel guilt at having committed an act of addiction observe it. Feel the feeling of guilt as if you were a scientist and look into it's cause, it's origin.
Also, from a nerobiological point of view, the brain is a plastic organ. It changes every time you act. Every time you give in to the alcohol you strengthen the nuero-pathway for "grab a beer". When you choose not to you strengthen the "I didn't grab a beer" path.
Interestingly, it has been discovered that the most effective method for breaking an addiction such as your's is doing *anything* else. The next time you want alcohol, stop and take 5 breaths and think about the urge and really think through it. Do ANYTHING else. It doesn't matter if its pushups, listen to music, call someone, water your garden, or comb your hair. ANYTHING. It is proven that it is more effective to replace the habit with something else rather than just sit there and ignore it.
Ultimately, as with my own addictions, I think you go through the motions enough times. Certainly I've repeated the "give in, shame, set intent to never do it again, repeat" enough times and it still happens. But if your faith is in yoga and meditation eventually you'll gain the strength and each time will have a larger gap between events until it never happens.
The main thing is to not become the shame. You can observe its presence and analyze it and breathe with it, but do not become it. Know that it is the ego that identifies with this emotion and that your larger self is not subject to shame and such emotions. That you could, as Jim and His Karma said, "Be on a rollercoaster blasting Jimi Hendrix through headphones and eating a bag of Cheetos" and your soul is untouched. Your ego, which most of us identifies with 98% of the time is tangled up in the guilt that for some reason reacts to this addiction and this creates a fog so that it is more difficult to see your pure soul, however, know that it is beyond such things and that there is no earthly thing you can do to change it. |
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Yogajan
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 09:43:53 AM
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Hi Doug,
I admire your putting it out there like you did on the list. All I have to offer is my own experience. when I started yoga quite a while ago now I became more aware of my problem with alcohol. Its like I felt better over here and yet didn't know what to do with all the extra energy so bled it off with alcohol. I did eventually go to AA and have been going now for 17 years and love the fellowship and the steps are truly amazing. I, for one, can't drink because I drink to excess. In AA they say that the problem is having the first drink and if you are truly an alcholic the first drink starts the process in motion. If thats the case, it isn't about resolve or better discipline or more will power, its about admitting a problem that I couldn't fix it and I needed help. Thats been my story and i have felt immense relief when I came to that and started a recovery program. I integrates nicely with other things I do for my spiritual practices.
For what its worth,
Jan |
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 3:27:19 PM
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Dear Doug,
I also have been in recovery from substances for many years. One thing you learn in AA is you have to change your friends. Never underestimate their influence.
Love to all,
Jill |
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DougSmith2
Canada
5 Posts |
Posted - Jun 10 2008 : 8:52:24 PM
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| I thank you all for your warm responses. They are appreciated. I am just going to make a stand and tell everyone that I have made progress spiritually practicing yoga and that going out drinking is no longer for me. I have pretty much kept my yoga practice to myself and not shared it with others. I will wear it more on my sleeves . Make it more known. It is, after all, my main interest now. That could be because my mom is a real spiritual Catholic, but she is not open minded to other paths and probably considers yoga dark. She does not know I practice. I am secretive about my yoga. I dont really crave drinking and dont do it on my own. I do see some signals EMC was mentioning. I guess I am weak to peer pressure and follow suit what others are doing. I actually noticed myself showing some resistance to drinking the first beer in not really wanting to have it. If I abuse again Ill start attending AA meetings. I generally agree with the 12 steps and do believe in a higher power and often ask for guidance and direction |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2008 : 02:54:02 AM
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doug,
I have quit smoking and drinking multiple times in my life. Last ciggarette was last july sometime I think and last drink was september. a couple things that work for ME. I never consider myself a recovering smoker or drinker. Currently I dont drink or smoke and have no desire to. carrying a label means it is always with me, so I dont carry a label. I also do not consciously remember the date that I had my last one. I only remember because of landmarks of what I was doing at the time. For ME I have many of the same friends. If I beleive I am suceptable to their influence then I will always be that. Does that mean I hang out with them in the bar? No, but not because I am scared I will want to drink but rather because I dont care to go to a bar. A good friend of mine for many years still does these things but we hang out mainly to surf, in the evenings he does his thing and I do mine.
I also believe that the more times I had quit the easier quitting had gotten. If I fell down I would just think, "I have quit many times before so quitting again will be no big deal" Also when I fell down I would let myself stay there long enough to get sick of it and that would fuel my desire to quit. For instance if I smoke one ciggarette I would let myself smoke a lot, then in short order I would get sick of it again, then I would set a day, say the next monday, and I would quit on that day. I would let my mind and body know what was coming and stick to it.
those are just some thoughts on what has worked for ME. you are different and I wish you well on your path.
the power is within you (kind of stole yogani's line ;))
Neil
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struggling with alcohol
