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Makyo77
2 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 28 2008 : 4:06:10 PM
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Hello,
I'm in need of help. I've been practicing the AYP method for a month or so and initially everything was going great...I felt great, and really seemed to be making some progress. I moved on from meditaion and started trying Pranayama then a week later added Mulabandha and Sambhavi...
Long story short, I feel right now as all the progress I made with meditation has taken a u-turn. I know when I feel uncomfortable to take a step back, but this is more then I expected. When I felt the mediation was beginning to to work for me my tendency toward shyness was starting to fade. I was more approachable, and found it easy to talk with just about anyone. It really felt great which is why I moved into Pranayama w/ Mulabandha and Sambhavi!
Then it seemed to come back, but in a way that made seem all the more severe. I've returned to just doing meditation, and it feels good, but this anxiety is just unbearable. I don't know if it's just that I'm seeing it for what it is for the first time, or if my taking steps into pranayama amplified the underlying cause of it. I'm lost for words describing it, but I feel like I sent this personality trait for a short vacation and now it's returned stronger then ever. Also, it seems that this anxiety came back after a particullarly strong session, I had performed the mediation, pranyana w/ Mulabandha and Sambhavi. I remember it well since I layed down to sleep then recall a single pop sound, like a bulb being dropped. When I heard it, I jumped and wasn't able to sleep much that night. The next day I felt awful. I know I obviouisly went to far, to fast but can this be fixed? Is this natural? Does anyone have any advice?
For the record, I only attempted Mulabandha and Sambhavi for a week before moving back to meditation, and honestly I haven't attempted prananya since.
Any help is greatly appreciated! |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2008 : 5:23:51 PM
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twas wise to back off.
I look at at this way, the mind almost works like a pendulum. If you hit one extreme, undoubtedly you'll become curious of the other extreme, it's how the mind works, duality... it knows only extremes.
To me meditation in great part involves finding that "middle path". Balancing your practice is definetly a huge part of this. Sticking to that "middle path" pt of view when unbalances come is also a huge part of it me thinks. Just the knowing that emotions will pass, good or bad. If one keeps "I am" in mind during the day, I think it helps. It's not so much "I am this, I am that", it's more of a negative quality. You can't grasp this "am". This applies to absolutly everything. When in doubt... "I am". haha
Meditation... For some it involves doing nothing but sitting and watching. Watching what? The one who seeks, who measures... the dual mind. Are you the one seeking? It probably seems like it sometimes. "I'm unhappy, when will I find happyness". It's just more seeking. When you watch it, you can see it for what it is. You don't have to do anything but shine the light of awareness on it. No need to feed it, to take away from it... you're not it anyway, so what are you taking away really? Or feeding?
Just know that emotions will pass... no need to force them out though. Paradoxically, the quicker you're ok with them as they are, the quicker the negative stuff is "purged out". The more you fight it, the more it fights back. Just face it, watch the habit of seeking.
One thing I like to do a lot, especially if I feel my mind holding on a bit too tightly to something, good or bad (i'm after the middle path after all), is take a few conscious breaths. Aka, facing that inner energy, seeing it for what it is. You might feel awful at moments, though you'll see, when you face it, it's never as scary as it initially seems. Just bring your awareness inside for 2-3 long relaxed conscious breaths.
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thibaud05
France
86 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2008 : 02:18:59 AM
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2008 : 09:03:11 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Makyo77
Long story short, I feel right now as all the progress I made with meditation has taken a u-turn.
Then it seemed to come back, but in a way that made seem all the more severe. I've returned to just doing meditation, and it feels good, but this anxiety is just unbearable. I don't know if it's just that I'm seeing it for what it is for the first time, or if my taking steps into pranayama amplified the underlying cause of it. I'm lost for words describing it, but I feel like I sent this personality trait for a short vacation and now it's returned stronger then ever. Also, it seems that this anxiety came back after a particullarly strong session, I had performed the mediation, pranyana w/ Mulabandha and Sambhavi. I remember it well since I layed down to sleep then recall a single pop sound, like a bulb being dropped. When I heard it, I jumped and wasn't able to sleep much that night. The next day I felt awful. I know I obviouisly went to far, to fast but can this be fixed? Is this natural? Does anyone have any advice?
Hi Makyo,
Welcome to the forum.
Sorry about your discomfort. You did the right thing by backing off.
What you need to do is some grounding. Take long walks and/or some physical exercise. Eat a heavier diet for a few days. Do some kind of work that involves manual labor.. like Yogani says in this thread:
quote:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=2884#30500
So maybe do take a closer look at the physical exercise/grounding side of it, getting more rest, and digging a few holes in the garden (when the snow melts). If I had to guess, I'd say it is your unbridled bhakti that is getting you ahead of your body more than anything else. That can translate into getting to far ahead in practices too, which can compound the overload.
If you can't turn down the bhakti, then one way to divert it is to take it to others in mundane service mode. That can be very grounding, taking some of the energy load off your nervous system. If we are directing bhakti inward, the load will be more in us. If we direct our bhakti outward, the environment will share more in the transformation. That is where it must go eventually anyway.
Note: I am not talking about "blazing light" service here -- more along the lines of changing dirty sheets and scrubbing toilets -- just being there for the other in need.
Just for a few days stay away form spiritual and/or inspiring things like music/chanting/spiritual groups/art/spiritual books. Keep yourself occupied and do not focus on the excess energy.. this (focusing on the excess energy) will only increase it. In the mean time, do keep up your twice a day meditation routine.. just cut back on the time (like you have done already).
There are some additional tips on grounding in this thread: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=3296
Hope these help.
Wish you all the best.
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Edited by - Shanti on Mar 29 2008 09:34:35 AM |
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Makyo77
2 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2008 : 08:50:12 AM
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Thank you all for the advise.
I feel much clearer now!
For the time being I have resolved to just stick with my meditation practice, for it feels the most natural to me. I see no real reason to rush into any stage of this practice now. I suppose I just underestimated it's effects, and while I certainly felt uncomfortable I almost feel better off for it.
Divineis I agree that finding the middle path will be essential and your tip to take a few conscious breaths really helped to pull in some of those emotions. Finding the middle ground will be a learning process for sure! Shanti, I took your advise and went for a long walk last night, and that helped a lot! I've lived in my city for almost a year, and felt a certain comfort that I haven't felt in a long time. I plan on integrating more walks of this sort into my practice.
Thank you all, I look forward to reading these forums as I continue my practice!
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2008 : 1:23:07 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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to far to fast...
