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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 27 2008 : 09:32:54 AM
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I was a surgical nurse & quit thinking it wasnt for me - not realizing I had been an empath the majority of my life. I am feeling sad to admit, but must admit that I lost much respect for doctors during that chapter of my life.
I then became a mortgage broker, opened up my own company & closed it all down 2 years ago.
I have been out of work for 2 years - which has been a great blessing to ground and balance myself as well as my home and family life.
I am so uncertain still as to what career path I should choose. I think I am subconciously scared that I will go right back to being a "Work A Holic" - I try to tell myself that I was just hiding during those times, as a survival route, but I feel frustrated when I am unclear as to which path I should attempt. I was the one bringing in the majority of the money and we created our lifestyle (BILLS)to warrant that amount. So today I sit here knowing that my choice in staying home these last 2 years has completey depleated our savings account, yet I am not attached to all the "material" things we are about to lose. I feel as if we can maintain the home we live in - I dont care about losing the other 3. My lease was up on my car, and I had every intention on purchasing the car, I loved that car, I sometimes still feel attached to that car & miss it at times, but yet I just turned it in, and was able to push through and stick to my decision on not purchasing it no matter how good the salesman was making the deal for me, and I am still without a car. I enjoyed going on many vacations and not having to look at price tags when shopping, and now I feel like I still have desires to travel, but if I dont then I just dont? The only thing I feel financiayll attached to is having the finances needed for my childrens desires, and yet deep down I question that? All 3 of them have a paid in full 4 year Prepaid college in place, and I had my inlaws change their living trust around so that only the children will inherit their money at varies times in my childrens life.
So I guess with all this... I am asking if anyone knows what in the world I am going through here? I know I have to begin something but I feel so stuck.
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2008 : 10:42:31 AM
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Why? Because, per other thread, you've had a premature crown opening that has opened you up to other ways of seeing and being before you've had a chance to "bake in" to gentler, more slowly progressive openings. This has left you confused and scrambling to make sense of things that won't make sense to your mind. Things are pushing, things are pulling (or strangely declining to push or pull), and it's all happening before you've developed sufficient silence (via meditation) to merely witness it. These trevails in the external world (like the trevails of your energy flows) seem to be happening to your mind. As you develop the ability to neutrally witness, you'll simply let it all happen without judging, fearing, grasping, recoiling, or trying to categorize and understand. Your soul (to reach outside AYP for a term) will be your stable rock...and after clinging to it for a while you will eventually come to realize you ARE that rock. At that point, people could sprout purple horns out their ears, and you'd not even blink. Just more stuff happening within the infinite manifestations of "What Is"!
So the solution is to reattach a bit (by grounding...i.e. plunging back into the mundane routines of daily life, getting in your body via exercise, and generally not expanding your consciousness willy nilly by fixating on spiritual issues) just as you inch further and let body/mind/spirit come to a more integrated state of balance via rigorous twice-daily practice of AYP.
You can't/won't figure it all out, Nancy. It's all just mazes and wormholes and smokeclouds. There's nothing for your mind to grasp a hold of. Just set it to doing its routines, get IN your body, and slowly do your daily meditation ablutions, without expectations, without looking for anything, like brushing your teeth.
You can, however, be just a bit smug. You've stolen a peek at what the rest of us are thirsting for. It will come in handy. Try to be graceful and patient with yourself as body, mind, and spirit catch up to the heady, overly-dense/rich/intense waters you've started to swim in. But for god's sake...don't dive in! Just do AYP, which is less of a big splash and more of a gradual spray-down. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Mar 27 2008 10:52:27 AM |
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weaver
832 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2008 : 11:33:45 AM
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Hi Nancy,
It comes naturally on the spiritual path that we will become less attached to material things and will see spiritual values as more important. If we like to, we can see this as an indication that we in essence are spiritual beings rather than (just) material. At the same time, it is important that we remain in balance and realize that as long as we are here, we have to deal with the material world, and that we need to put our attention on making the best we can of all the practicalities of life, including money, work etc. However, instead of being attached to specific things, for example cars that you mention, we can use them in ways that will be as meaningful as possible.
Dealing with material practicalities becomes particularly important when we have children. As adults we can choose for ourselves to live an ascetic lifestyle if we want to, and focus on more purely spiritual aspects. But children still need to learn many of life's lessons in a very physical, or hands-on way, using things to play and work with. As adults, when we have a better handle on our own attachments, we can also help the children to manage theirs. In general, we serve our children better spiritually if we encourage them to be creative rather than being entertained.
You are not alone in finding that career and type of work you find meaningful may change drastically when there is spiritual transformation going on. Others have shared those issues several times before in the forum. It is important spiritually to engage in the outer world, but only you can find in your heart how you want to do it. Many have found that they gravitate toward positions where they can serve people more directly, rather than working specifically with products or money. Yes, at the stage where you are now, you may want to watch out from falling into patterns of being a "Work A Holic", as you mention, which can be a temptation. You may want to look for type of work where this is less likely to happen. Follow your intuition and monitor your consciousness, and you will find what is right for you!
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2008 : 1:31:03 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2008 : 3:52:37 PM
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Hi again, Nancy
quote:
I know I have to begin something but I feel so stuck.
Yes....
There is a gift in this, though. Whenever life brings me into challenging situations......this is also a chance for awareness to intensify.....it is a chance for the presence I am to come forward. Awareness always responds to challenges....if you let it. I could of course go with the thought process.....around and around it spins. "I know I have to begin something" is a thought, Nancy. It is the minds solution to the stuckness you are feeling. "I don't have to work anymore" is also a thought that ends in stuckness. Forget about those thoughts. They will not get you here.
The stuckness itself, however......is an energetic "happening".....much closer to NOW than any thought. The stuckness calls for something. It calls for you to be more present. The stuckness is the.....clash between what you think should be happening and what is actually taking place. So - in order to come to any deeper understanding.....you need first to accept what is already taking place. Not thinking so much about all the stuff you experience....or what you don't experience....but rather to not resist it. See that it is happening in spite of what your mind thinks.
When your presence increases, it will be clearer to you....what needs to be done. The calmness inside will guide you. You are your own guide.
Continue to meditate. Because this will increase your presence. And this is what is crucial. It is your alertness to each moment that will gradually allign "your" life with the life that is already pouring through you.
You are blessed with many ....openings, Nancy.
Honor it by being present to the challenges you go trough.
And last but not least:
Ground yourself.
Go for walks.
Be with plants.
Touch trees.
Look at birds.
Smell the see.
Feel the wind.
And simply enjoy
Much love to you
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Not attached to things I should be - WHY?
