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Originally posted by emc
And a sight for sore eyes when flying high in angelic mode blazing off light that knocks poor muslims from Kuwait to the floor!

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Day two: I wake up in the morning with a headache, scratch my rashes, I get irritated, I think "S H I T, I've overdone it - what a jerk I am!", I raise up too quickly in the bathroom hitting the head in the mirror, I say "Ouch, God I'm a clumsy idiot", the ringing in the ear gets louder, the cat pees on the bed and runs around the flat with wet paws spreading it out - I silently curse it, I crash a plate in the kitchen while doing breakfast, I miss the tube, I get late for work, I then get into a fight at work, the students protest against everything - self-destructive thoughts continue to pile up in a mind on the verge of exploding, I end up in a private email fight with a forumite, I buy an expensive mobile phone of a brand I hate and when I remember I hated the illogical menues I sell it for half the price immediately just to get rid of it - loosing lots of money I could have spent more wisely, I get home after work and my bills turn out not having been paid so loads of penalty fees are all over my doormat, hot sunburn feeling inside of my skin all over, pressure in the head, in the evening I impulsively break up from my relationship due to thoughts like "I wont let my anger and false accusations hurt another innocent man again, I better break up before I get too bitchy with him" followed by terrible feelings of depression and self-loathing that wants me to crawl out of my skin - patterns playing with me ruthlessly, and à propos skin - there is was: the itching *scratch, scratch* etc etc etc. Going to sleep, exhausted and tired. Waking up in the middle of the night finding myself scratching inside of thighs and the whole genital area until I bleed, turning like a propeller in the bed... then despair is there for sure!

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when things go wrong, can you return to witness as you feel yourself about to go into "oh-$hit" land? Can you return to witness if you're all the way in "oh-$hit" land? Can you return yourself to witness if you're dealing with the meta "oh $hit" effect of realizing that you fell in the trap? Or the meta meta "oh-$hit" effect of realizing you fell into the trap of being annoyed at falling in the trap? or being annoyed at being annoyed? Or being annoyed at being annoyed at being annoyed?

Can you, in other words, develop a kneejerk, almost innate reaction to recognizing that sort of thing as "scenery"? The "Oh $hit" reaction (and the judging that precedes it) is always scenery. Always noise. The self waits patiently for the drama to end. The entire process is a mere hiccup that is simply to be let go of, not "worked on" (just as we don't "work on" issues that come up while in meditation).

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Originally posted by emc
Tibetan Ice,

I think it's better to answer a question like that when in angelic mode. The answer I can give now I fear will only show the memories and interpretations of my mind. In this thread and in this and following posts I tried to explain a little of my "knowings" when in angelic mode: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=3383#29059 .

It's not even a 'day' - it's out of time and space. It is. And it's a constant falling in love with form, with movement, with existence. I feel like my body is run like a robot. I don't eat. Eating happens. I don't lift the spoon to my mouth. The body is being fed - arm lifts the spoon by itself. I don't walk. Legs walk or dance with an enormous joyous aliveness sparkling inside. When that happens I get so enormously touched I cry, and cry, and cry, and laugh, and life lives itself totally effortlessly. I watch. The awe and gratefulness knows no end. I don't drive the car - IT drives the car and the ride is so unbelievably smooth - perfectly driven. Everything feels like floating - I don't know if that is what people call the "flow", but I can just relax and follow. The intelligence taking care of it all is so enormous, and so perfect and so loving! Everything is so perfect. If I close my eyes on those days, the world disappears. It goes black. After meditation especially, it's a trip to walk on the ground... There is none! I walk in space. Nothing is solid, I walk like on cotton and don't know if my feet are an inch below the surface or above the surface of the ground. Spontaneous healing occurs, my mouth seems to say the right words to those who need to hear it, arms fly out in mudras (often right hand blazing light to 'others' third eye - there are actually no 'others')... But this is like... a limping description... Feels very weird to try to describe it now. There are just no questions left those days... There's just... grace, openness, acceptance, love and freedom. All those klichées... but that's how it is... Whoever 'I' was before looses all significance on those occasions... I'm suddenly insignificant. And that's freedom.

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Originally posted by emc
That qi gong thing, though... Is it really grounding? Perhaps it's different with different types of qi gong. They are as many different types as they are in yoga! I'm sometimes doing zinheng qi gong (medical qi gong) and it brings up a LOT OF CHI (practice actually called "lift up chi") - not very grounding at all... much focus on the crown and hara line through the body, the "pillar", connecting heaven and earth. That definitely increases my rashes... What type are you doing, and in what way can you be certain it's really grounding?

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I started to do spinal breathing: On the in-breath I 'sucked in' through the third eye. On the out breath I pushed out. Then I reversed it to see what would happen. It seems that I can get some kind of 'flow' happening, both in and out. However the 'in' is easier.

Towards the end of the experiment, I would take a long deep breath and suck in through my third eye. This resulted in an intense pain at the base of the skull where it connects to the neck and a lot of pressure at the lower back of the skull.

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