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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 08:47:54 AM
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Hi there
I am new to this forum and am hoping that someone can relate, teach or guide me in the right direction... I am hopeful to finally have some answers, and will try not to make this so long... please ask for more clarification if anybody is able to take a shot at this one
Age 4 - 12
Experienced freightening events, bifold doors feriously moving, chairs moving, photographs changing faces, only the top bed shaking on bunk beds...( My mother was scared- never tried to show it, made excuses, Deep catholic faith, church, saints, tell us children to pray, pray, we will be okay - My father thrived, he supposedly had "Special Powers")
Age 13 - 16
Perfectly quiet - normal life?? - we moved from NY to Florida
AGE 17
Dad gets sick w/ cancer, doctors give him 2 - 6 months to live. Talk about depressed. We lived the typical Italian NY family, mom straight from Italy, met Dad at 15, married at 19, she didnt drive, work etc. Prayers, Prayers, Prayers....
My boyfriends mom invited me to go with her to this "Tent Rivival" her church was hosting and had a special "GUY" ?? coming to heal people... I went... I cant remember even what this guy was saying except parts like, the power of God has been invested in me and I can heal... Who wants healing?? Come on up and save your life, your soul, from all the depression, anger...blah blah... I walked up to him, and asked if he could heal my father who was ill with cancer? He said yes.. I can heal your father through you, do you want me to? I said how can you? he said I can... I said ok.... He put his hand on top of my head for like less than 30 seconds, then I remember him saying; ok your father is healed! I couldnt believe it, I felt like he literally took the top part of my head off, I felt like I was going to pass out, and maybe stumbled because my boyfriends mother kinda acted like she was holding me or picking me up, but.. I was a crying fool - the weirdest cry - an attempt at an explaination of such a powerful feeling has no words.
Moving forward, I went home that nkight, told my parents, and they acted like nothing.... HERE WE GO NOW....
4 months go by I start noticing my lower body easily brusing, then my whole body... Off to the doctors, get blood drawn, next day while I am in school, I get called to the office to find my older sister there with my mom both crying, I thought my Dad died... (NO :+) My blood results came in, doctor said to take me straight to the hospital he was pretty sure I had Luekemia - my platlet count was 200. Normal is 100,000 - 400,000.. Doctor said, if I hit my head I would of died with internal bleeding... they tested me for everythikng, but nothing showed up... they were scratching their heads... gave me 6 bags of gamma globbin - dikd a bone marrow,k and it showed I was producing platlets... Put me on steroids & it somewhat controlled the counts...
6 Months after that I get into a serious car accident - which had laid me up for a total of 2 years, wheelchair, castings for 1 yr - walking brace for another year - the bleeding from my double compound fracture was out of control, my platlets dropped considerably again, doctors didnt know what to do, they thought my spleen was killing them - so out came my spleen - I was now 18
Married at 19 - Pregnant at 20
lost my baby - but not the normal miscarriage way - the baby was dead inside me, lost the heart beat
Pregnant again at 21 became extremely sick - I was 7 months pregnant with a sudden onset of severe toxemia Blood pressure 110/220 ( no joke)4+ protein in my urine - my liver was literally begining to burst, doctor said emergency sectkion - dont know if the baby is going to make it, but by law we have to try and save the mothers life. Baby made it "minor issues" - and is now a gorgeous smart as a whip 13 year old Princess. I didnt get to see her for 4 days I was in intensive care and they still didnt know which way my life was going to go... The doctors still use my story today - as the only person with such severe toxemia that made it
Age 22 - 28 OK health
Age 29 - 35 Major Headaches right in the center of my head - EKG showed abnormalities in subconcious brain waves that were not explainable
birthed 2 more children fine
after the birth of my 3rd child - weird stuff agian
face pain
behind my left knee major pains
curvature of the spine
abnormal blood results - white counts are 20,000 and no cancer
Yet now my platlets sre 560,000
ALL of the sudden I now to have hikgh blood pressure and I am currently not even working, so am not stressed out
Painic Attacks?? Felt like I was having a heart attack - my right arm felt like I had a rubber band around it hence I literally dropped to the floor and was paralyzed in bed for 2 days - meditation and prayer got me through that one
More recently - Fibromalgia - Lupus - Rosacea
Just found out the latest that my neck doesnt have the normal curvature that we all have and my C 5 - 6 & C6-7 discs are bulging and have formed spurs on the back of them causing some major daily tingling in both arms and fingers and feet and toes...
Finally.... My question.....
Can this be premature Kundalini Rising?
Is it multiple times of Kundalini rising? If it is stuck what do you do?
I swear I feel "Something" stuck in my back - at times I feel like I am on fire inside and walk around with low grade fevers often - I began a psychic development course thinking "My old friends" (Spirits) are pissed and trying to get my attention, but I have to 1st learn not to be scared...
my intuition is almost always acurate, I honesty feel other peoples emotions, which at times is so draining, but yet I dont sleep well at all, if I get 3 - 5 hours nightly thats good... I have been up for 3 days straight - then took the family to Disney?? I have been depressed - happy - busy busy cleanilng and rearranging my house for a year now,and my normal social self - has turned into a hermit and am avoiding and lost most my friends. I have been in search for inner peace for too long - It saddens me to admit that I DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN.... If someone can please help you dont know what a great service you would be doing not just for me... I have 3 children and a husband who is trying so hard to stick by my side, but I can tell I have aged him
Thank You so Much |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 09:34:03 AM
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Hi Nancy
Welcome to the forum 
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. You certainly have had plenty of hardship in your life. I wish you peace of all my heart!
quote:
I DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN
If it is any comfort to you; this is not a sign of illness - this is actually a sign of intelligence.....and also a token of integrity. None of us here feel comfortable just within our own skin. This is because - in reality - we are so much more than what our experiences - and our bodies/minds - define us as.
Whether you are having Kundalini symptoms or not is hard for me to tell. Could be - but not necessarily. What is more crucial, though - is offering you a tool that will help you to become less entangled, less stressed out, by whatever is taking place in your life. This tool is "deep meditation" - as described in Yoganis lessons. Have you ever meditated before?
When we are "bullied around" by life....it helps to develop some clarity. You also need somewhere to retreat to.....to "soak" in inner peace and inner strength. This "somewhere" is inside of you. Or rather - you connect to this peaceful "depth" by turning your attention inwards. More spesifically...in the case of deep meditation, the tool is the mantra "I am". It may sound a small thing - but the effect of daily meditation is way beyond your - and my - imagination. I have meditated for almost 25 years now; and .....right from the beginning....the "act" of meditation (in a way it is no action.....you just have to be willing to sit down for a few minutes every day) made a profound difference as to how I lived - and experienced - life.
If you do nothing else - then start meditating. Have you read Yoganis lessons (see link "Main lessons" on top of this page)?
Please remember - nothing is wrong with you! You are going through rough times; and the way you feel is a natural reaction. Your symptoms may change - or they may not. But with greater inner peace, you will be able to handle them better. And this will in turn make your body stronger, your mind less troubled and the total will be greater health.
I wish you all the best.
I am sure other here will chime in if they have other advise. |
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 10:46:44 AM
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Thank You so much. Yes I have and am begining to meditate more frequently. I just read the "I AM" deep meditation excercise last night / early am before I logged out and feel asleep to it. I will begin more readings from the main lessons grounding and coming from centered space is my goal. I did fail to mention that I went through an extensive personal growth transformation course through LIFESPRING now it's called Summit education and it was like taking the "Blue" pill - you just can't turn back from what you know, seen, felt, yet it's not present daily???
Again I thank you and appreciate your time |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 11:30:40 AM
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Hi Nancy
Welcome to the forum
You seem to be a very sensitive person and in this regard the ravages of life can have an extra severe effect. If this is true, then the stabalising effect of a regular and safe practice could help a lot.
Safe means a practice that won't tip you over the edge and give you even more grief. Safety is provided in the AYP practices though the use of Self-Pacing and by keeping our attention away from the "crown" or top of the head.
Can you tell us something of your background in relation to - yoga, meditation, energy work, or any related stuff, if any.
You say you have attended a Lifespring course. Does this have any practice routine associated with it?, and what sort of insights did it give you?
Lots of questions but don't feel under any pressure to answer anything if it doesn't feel right.
Like Katrine said, the starting point is Deep Meditation, as in the lessons. You have started this you say, that's great, just keep up a regular routine of it, without any expectations of what might happen. Keep it simple and regular and in the meantime keep in touch here.
All the best |
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 1:16:38 PM
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Hi Sparkle
Thank you for your insight and your time. I am extremely sensative person.
The Lifespring course has been classified as a New Age/human potential training company. The Movement of Spiritual Inner Awareness.
The trainings generally involved a three-level program starting with a "Basic" discovery training, an "Advanced" breakthrough course, and a 3-month "Leadership Program" which taught the students how to implement what they learned from the training in their lives. The training itself consisted of a series of lectures and processes designed to show the participants how they were holding themselves back in their lives. Many complained that they felt harangued, embarrassed, or humiliated by the trainer during the trainings. I didnt so much feel that...
Additionally, the trainer used many English words in a manner that was different than their usual meaning.....
"Commitment," for instance, was defined as "the willingness to do whatever it takes." "Conclusion" was defined as a belief.
Also, words like
"responsibility," "space," "surrender," "experience," "trust," "consideration," "unreasonable," "righteous" "totally participate," "from your head," "openness," "letting go" were redefined or used so as to assign them a new meaning.
ZEN - Sciences - various forms of meditation and group interaction - at one point during the trainings I remember now thinking back how I was sooo charged and felt total love by the world and I loved right baqck - I sincerely was in such a state of bliss that I felt I could take on the world....
That was my lifespring journey.....
My entire life (until 3 years ago) has been with the Catholic Church - praying to God and saints - asking for prayers - giving prayers - spiritual theological retreat w meditation
And here I am...
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scottfitzgerald
USA
65 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 2:00:18 PM
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Nancy-
You have had a wierd trip it seems. I have a question...for someone who went through all this Lifespring training, why did you have to resort to pulling direct quotes from Wikipedia? Struck me as kind of odd...
However, if it is grounding you are after, DM and spinal breathing can certainly offer you quite a bit of comfort.
Another question...What happened to your father? Was he cured?
I ask because I did the same thing with a mail-order preacher when I was young. Asked him to cure my father's polio, sent my money in and got a packet of "prayer seeds" that were sure to grow a plant that would indicate my prayer was granted. Sent me on a course a LOOOOONG way from God after that. Found my way back after a while :)
Best of luck on the path. |
Edited by - scottfitzgerald on Feb 18 2008 2:11:34 PM |
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Wolfgang
Germany
470 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 4:03:29 PM
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Hi Nancy,
what a life story, quite tough I must say, and all my
best wishes to you.
You realize that it is difficult for us to give medical advice to you,
that can not be our job and our responsibility here on this forum.
However I am sure there are many people here who wish to help you,
and myself I also have only good intentions.
Good intentions alone however may not always be for your higher good.
quote:
Originally posted by Nancy
Is it multiple times of Kundalini rising? If it is stuck what do you do?
I swear I feel "Something" stuck in my back - at times I feel like I am on fire inside and walk around with low grade fevers often - I began a psychic development course thinking "My old friends" (Spirits) are pissed and trying to get my attention, but I have to 1st learn not to be scared...
So, let me ask you here: do you feel strongly connected to these
"old friends", do you feel a connection that is not helpful ?
Love&Light
Wolfgang |
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 11:27:45 PM
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SCOTTFITZGERALD
Thank You for your reply -
quote:
Originally posted by scottfitzgerald
Nancy-
I have a question...for someone who went through all this Lifespring training, why did you have to resort to pulling direct quotes from Wikipedia? Struck me as kind of odd...
Another question...What happened to your father? Was he cured?
Sent me on a course a LOOOOONG way from God after that. Found my way back after a while :)
Why would this stike you odd???
I sense the true question is something like.... If you attended this Lifespring training, as you say you did, and you have experienced transformation as stated, then why would you go and resort to copy and paste? I am uncertain if I really believe you?
Now, especially when I feel my integrity has been questioned, I feel no need to explain my actions as to why I do or don't do something. However, because I feel this forum will help assist me in finding all I am in search for as well as the opportunity for me to be able to give back to others that may have questions on something that I have personally gone through or am knowledgeable on, I will explain so others can have a better understanding of ME.
First and foremost reason; I do what I need to do to get the job done, not to say taking the easy route or an unprofessional manner; rather than I wanted to reply, and had a 3 year old wanting me to watch spongebob, an 8 yr old who wanted me to go on the trampoline and a 13 year old who wanted on the computer.... So copy and paste got the same job done in less time, because to explain a "feeling" in words is not easy for me; it's like trying to explain the love a 1st time parent is about to "experience" - there are no words.
17 years later and I am estatic to say YES my Dad was cured and is still alive today!!!
Finally, I am sincerely happy that you have consciously realized that you have found your way back to GOD; you were never gone, it is impossible.
Thank You for your time and suggestions, and look forward on continued growth in this arena.
Live With Passion
Nancy
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2008 : 11:54:10 PM
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Hi Wolfgang
Thank You for your time and best wishes, I do realize and am not expecting any medical advice. The main question was pertaining to the Kundalini rising and as posted above in my original post.
So, let me ask you here: do you feel strongly connected to these
"old friends", do you feel a connection that is not helpful ?
Love&Light
Wolfgange
[/quote]
If I wasnt so frightened, there would be a huge connection; that is why I started the psychic development course. I know that the real reason fear even exists is due to lack of knowledge pertaining to the fearful situation. I know once the fear is diminished, the connection would not be harmful, and probably very helpful for myself, and others. This freight and resistance has been going on for 31 years; I will soon be ready to look this fear straight in the eyes.
I am love, I put love into the world, accept everybody where they are, hardly judge people, and am a total stand for helping support people who are in quest of finding their truth. With my angels, and guides I know I have out there as well as relatives that have passed on; I feel no harm can be done to me in that fashion. (anyway... so many people tease me that I am like a cat with 9 lives..... I guess from that point, I still have 5 more lives to go LOL )
Thank you again...
Live With Passion
Nancy |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 12:32:55 AM
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Nancy said:
Why would this stike you odd???
People find it odd just because they expect quotes to be marked as quotes. It's just the convention. But don't worry, you aren't being accused of anything -- just mark your quotes as a quote and everything will go smoothly.
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 01:46:52 AM
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David obsidian
AHHHH Thank You!!! |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 03:56:06 AM
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Hi Nancy
quote:
That was my lifespring journey.....
My entire life (until 3 years ago) has been with the Catholic Church - praying to God and saints - asking for prayers - giving prayers - spiritual theological retreat w meditation
And here I am...
Just going back to your sensitivity; It might be useful to expand on this a little.
For instance we refer to a thing called "scenery" here, which is the experiencing of all sorts, such as; lights, colours, energy, telepathy, heat, cold, shivers etc etc. sometimes also refered to as "spiritual byproduct".
Whilst it is all scenery and not to get attached to, it can often give some indication as to what is going on. So if you could expand on this it might help further.
With passion for Now |
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scottfitzgerald
USA
65 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 10:20:23 AM
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Nancy-
No question of your integrity here. I could have worded that a bit more eloquently. Please forgive me.
You are in the right place...because you found us. :)
Big love-
Scott
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2008 : 6:44:29 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by scottfitzgerald
Nancy-
You are in the right place...because you found us. :)
Big love-
Scott
Thank You so much  I am grateful
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2008 : 04:39:41 AM
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Hi Nancy,
What a beautiful story. I wonder if you did heal your Dad? It reminds me of that story in the bible when a woman goes to Jesus and says, "can you come quickly and heal one of my relatives, I think he is going to die". And Jesus says, "He is already healed, your faith has made him whole".... or something like that.
The power of love and courage present when someone says "I can heal someone else through you, do you want me to?" and you say "yes" is incredible. I also wouldn't be surprised if you healed yourself of cancer, also with the strength of your faith.
It is difficult to know if you are experiencing a premature kundalini awakening or not, simply because of the number of illnesses you have had. But you are experiencing many of the symptoms which are common with kundalini, so my intuition would say, yes it is kundalini. Also, the hand on top of the head thing is a classic kundalini awakener, especially when someone experiences such a dramatic crown opening as you did.
Click here http://www.aypsite.org/TopicIndex.html
and scroll down to "crown opening : avoiding premature" and you will see that there are 12 links to follow up.
The same thing happens to people when I put my hand on their head: They feel like the top of their head opens up. It is the crown chakra opening. It is caused by the crown chakra responding to a small flow of silver/blue prana coming out of the open chakra on the palm of the hand of the healer. It is quite remarcable. I use it a lot when I give healings.
If you think that you are suffering from a premature kundalini awakening (or even an overdue kundalini awakening  ), then there are two important things to do. One is to do "grounding" practices every day. Click on the search option at the top of the page and you should be able to find out more. It is not comlicated, it really involves doing plenty of physical work, and taking lots of long walks. I promise you, it makes all the difference. It will "ground" you to the earth, and allow the kundalini energy a safe escape path, without having to build up in the head. The buildup is what caused the headaches.
The second thing you have to do is to work with the energy: meditation and spinal breathing pranayama are exellent to start with. Prayer, active service to others, eat healthily... and so on.
It looks like you have been incredibly blessed by God (and the Holy Spirit), and you are well on your way to discovering the Kingdom of God within.
Much love to you,
Christi |
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Nancy
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2008 : 10:57:10 AM
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Christi
I thank you so much, I am grateful and honored that you replied to my post. You have given me the courage to listen to that "little voice" within - it's usually correct, however at times, when it comes to a personal issue I allow my corrupted human mind to win and I second guess myself or am in need of proof.
You really touched home when you spoke of healing myself of cancer; because everytime my counts went balistic and my regular MD would have me go to a CA specialist - obviously it would sadden me somewhat - but when I looked at my supportive husband and 3 loving children - it was like the weird feeling would come over me - almost like an angered rage but yet positive and powerful? Its hard to describe a feeling or experience, but it reminded me when my Dad had gotten sick and how quickly my then 12 year old brother and I grew up we both went out to work to support the family as mom took in children to watch, I took over any driving the family needed as mom doesnt drive - and my relationship changed so drastically with my mom like our roles reversed and our youth was put aside. Anyway, I would go lay down cry it all out - meditate - pray until I felt my heart coming out to console me and I would demand that the tests would be negative and in the event that a positive reading was found that I wouldnt accept the invitation and let it in.... So I have wonder about self healing as well - or if it is some sort of test some of us must go through at times??
I will follow and read your grounding advice - Again I thank You
Live With Passion
Nancy |
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Lookatmynavelnow
52 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2008 : 11:52:12 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
The same thing happens to people when I put my hand on their head: They feel like the top of their head opens up. It is the crown chakra opening. It is caused by the crown chakra responding to a small flow of silver/blue prana coming out of the open chakra on the palm of the hand of the healer. It is quite remarcable. I use it a lot when I give healings.
Hello Christi
What kind of healing are you doing? And are you getting the results you want?
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2008 : 03:53:56 AM
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Hi LAMNN,
quote:
Hello Christi
What kind of healing are you doing? And are you getting the results you want?
I do a combination of
1. Chakra activation, using the energy from my hands,
2. Chakra balancing,
3. Letting prana flow into the vital organs (reiki style),
4. Energetic radiance (same thing as 1. 2. and 3. only without the hands, mostly using my heart).
The results so far are amazing, so amazing in fact that I am beginning to wonder if energetic healing will one day become the primary health care system for humans, bringing about and maintaining real health on a holistic level, with alopathic medicine becoming a back up system which only needs to be resorted to very rarely.
Christi |
Edited by - Christi on Feb 26 2008 03:12:17 AM |
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