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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 28 2007 : 11:41:58 AM
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I have been having a recurring notion pop up a lot lately. I have discussed this somewhat in my thread titled "Yoga and Homosexuality" in the Tantra forum. It involves my voice and changes I have noticed since beginning yoga.
One time when I was driving I had a strange thought take over my mind and suggest to me that my voice, which is often very deep, is not actually "my" voice and that, in fact, a person is not born with a certain pitch - rather this pitch is unconciously developed in response to environment and whatever complexes there might be. I developed a very deep voice after puberty. I know that I do have a lower register, but I do not believe the pitch itself is pre-determined. I had this realization during a time when I was coming to terms with issues of masculinity and shedding myself of the facade of being a "man" that has caused me stress and self-loathing throughout my childhood. With this came a new appreciation and take on my body, but also my voice. I realized that all of a sudden it did not feel right to speak in the tone that I do, and that a softer and slightly higher pitch seemed more natural and "right" to me.
A while passed and then last night I had an even bigger realization. I was at dinner with my girlfriend at a busy restaurant and I was talking rather passionately about sexuality, circumcision...things that she did not want others hearing. She had mentioned to me many times that I speak way too loudly (and others have too) but I always ignored it. All of a sudden it occured to me that perhaps I do speak too loudly. I tried speaking in a "normal volume" and found it impossible to accept the fact that she could still hear me. To me it sounded like whispering, but she understood every word even over the din of the dining room. I was blown away by this. Then I realized how tense the muscles in my throat always are and how it seems like I am always straining to speak. Then I realized how when I spoke in this normal volume it seemed like, for the first time, that her and I were on the same level in conversation. I tend to dominate conversation both in word quantity, articulation, and volume...but now that I was speaking on her volume we seemed like equals in conversation and I noticed she was more apt to give responses and seemed more interested in what I was saying. But this is not the last realization.
I realized also how much tension I have in my front throat muscles, the long tubular ones. I have always had throat tension, tonsilitis, nasal problems my whole life. My throat swells up at the drop of a hat (or rather the spray of a perfume, smoke, particles, ect). I then thought about my sister who is 3 years younger than me and recently went to a speech therapist complaining of teeth grinding and sore throat muscles. She has always had a weak voice, but I never have much thought to it and certainly never thought I had the same problem. I realized though that my sister chose never to strain her voice and chose rather to be a low-talker while I, on the other hand as a child, chose uncincously to defy this limitation and overcompensate by having a loud booming voice. Somehow, yoga stripped me of this delusion and now I realize that I must learn to speak in a normal volume and basicaly retrain my speech that I have had for roughly 16 years (I am 20). I wonder if this is related to what I have always suspected to be some energy inbalance in the throat chakra. I wonder if there is anything yogically I can do other than practice mindfulness of this issue. Lately I have felt A LOT of tension in these muscles and it seems like my body was trying to tell me something and somehow, after being told I am too loud for the 1000th time, I actually listened. I love how things always tend to work out for the benefit of the being.
I think this also has to do with male overcompensation. i come from a very masculine family line of bodybuilders and athletes...and I never felt like that kind of guy. I always felt inferior growing up because I am thin and never had a large interest in athletics. I suppose I overcompensated by having a deeper voice than it truly comfortable and also walking with an overcompensated straightness. A wonderful yoga teacher brought awareness to my posture issues and it has helped tremendously. Walking like a normal person was very odd at first but very healing of these old wounds. It seems like my voice is the next thing to go.
Also, on an end note. I have noticed after months of doing yoga that my voice changed, almost like a second puberty. I began noticing that I speak slower (i used to speak very quickly and stutter a lot), softer, more contemplative, and in a slightly higher register. But the volume seems to be the next thing wanting to change.
I guess there are not direct questions here, but I would really appreciate anything anyone has to say about this.
Thanks!! |
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riptiz
United Kingdom
741 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2007 : 2:08:54 PM
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Hi Anthony,
I can understand this completely as I have had the same problem since puberty(I am 52). I have strained with a deep voice and about 5 yrs ago was told at my local hospital it was due to reflux acid which I suffered with since my teenage years.
Recently I was in New York at a Mtrix Energetics seminar and was fortunate to have Dr. Richard Bartlett work on me on stage. Since then my voice has improved and I am not straining like I was before.
L&L
Dave |
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sadhak
India
604 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2007 : 05:28:45 AM
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Hi Anthony,
I can relate to what you are saying though my situation was just the reverse: I used to talk in a very low voice, and feel that I am too loud. If I raised my voice a bit, I'd feel an internal shaking. And talking for a slightly long duration would make me feel frazzled, emptied out, and totally tired. Being in the company of people who talk too much or raise their voice in anger still has the same effect on me. I think the former has fallen away to some degree but not completely.
I too, used to suffer from frequent throat infections, sinusitis, and allergies to dust, perfumes, odours, etc. I think the sensitivity to dust and perfumes has increased since I've begun regular pranayam of any sort. I detect odours pretty fast, relatively speaking.
So what you experienced and I did/do probably have the same origin. The throat chakra is also concerned with higher creativity, intuition, etc. Do you see a connection?
But it's logical I suppose - under or over doing/being of anything slowly gravitates to a state of balance with ongoing yoga. Thanks for your story on this. |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2007 : 10:05:39 AM
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I have always, since knowing of the chakras, suspected high activity in the throat. I feel the strongest connection with this area both intuitively and physically. I am very creative and intuitive...sometimes too much and I feel I lack grounding. I have also seen flashes of the color blue before during meditation (I thought they were police lights!).
Yesterday my throat muscles were so tense I didn't know what to do. Asana and pranayama seemed to make them worse and I did realize that I breathe in the throat instead of the belly. I tried correcting this and it helped some, but only after I did meditation did the problem subside 90%.
I think one issue that is aggravating it is that I have become very aware of my breathing and often throughout the day make an attempt to deepen it...but I think because I tend to breathe in the throat that it is actually destructive for me to be doing this. During asana I always experience sore throat muscles because I make an attempt to really deepen my breathing. I read in a book called Free Your Breath, Free Your Life that it is unadvised to try to regulate your breathing throughout the day unless you are completely focused on breathwork because it can actually make existing tension worse. |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2007 : 12:46:28 PM
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I've always been terribly shy, so my voice wasn't properly stimulated. I tried Om mantra and because it transformed my voice so much I never gave it up. First my voice was deepened, and then smoothed out. Not having much of a voice, I could never sing, and this saddened me because I had a lot of stuff inside that wanted to be expressed. So now I take tremendous delight in singing along to holiday songs and devotionally chanting the Gayatri mantra.
Some interesting things like tuvla singing started to emerge, and when the energy comes up into the throat it can guide the voice into making some very beautiful sounds. Interesting, and absolutely unexpected results to the practice.
Another thing that helped my voice was practicing the kechari mudra. It seemed to stretch and loosen all the debris and tension in the throat region.
I've continued with Om because it has transformed my voice, and that is something my body seemed to really need. Other people might focus on different practices given their dispositions and where they are balancing out from.
The voice seems to develop and change much like a muscle. If you can properly stimulate it and allow it to rest, every time you come back to it there is a change. |
Edited by - Kyman on Dec 29 2007 12:48:47 PM |
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x.j.
304 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2007 : 1:01:02 PM
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| This thread relates, among other physical issues noted above, but also, to me at least, raises the issue of "right speech" and "sweetness of speech." Doesn't it seem that we meditators gradually develop a sensitivity to speech, as a result of meditative practices,..and mantra especially? When we are rude or indulge in obnoxious or idle speech, it seems to exhaust some of our pranic energy. And due to continuing spiritual practices,we gradually develop a sensitivity regarding speech, and then we find ourselves observing from witness consciousness what we say, and that if we speak with kindness, succinctly, avoiding idle chatter, avoiding hurtful, abusive, loud, and untruthful speech, not dominating the conversation, then in our subsequent meditation session, things go more smoothly, and our spinal breathing occurs more effortlessly. Whadayathink? |
Edited by - x.j. on Dec 29 2007 10:39:42 PM |
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My voice (the physical one)
