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Rudolf
Italy
4 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 13 2025 : 4:50:22 PM
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Good morning, I have been suffering from a severe form of OCD for about twenty years, I have been practicing deep meditation and samyama since about 2005 trying to ignore intrusive thoughts with good results.
In recent weeks, perhaps due to a stressful period, the disease seems to have taken on new vigor, exhibiting more astute intrusive thoughts.
In short, my mind bombards me with catastrophic thoughts inherent to my fears, saying that these catastrophic thoughts could come true, because they are said within powerful practices such as dm and samyama. So I feel forced to rectify by saying the opposite and so on in an infinite loop that only brings me suffering. I know it may seem absurd, I too realize the absurdity of the situation but I can't get out of it. My question is: can intrusive and catastrophic thoughts,said(that come to mind) during Samyama and DM, manifest in the real world? Many greetings |
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yogani
USA
5280 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2025 : 5:58:30 PM
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Hi Rudolf,
Intrusive and obsessive thoughts that may come to mind during deep meditation and samyama can be regarded to be part of the purification process and will not be amplified in the real world by our practice. They are being dissolved during practice, so ultimately will be less present in daily activity.
When experiencing a stream of thoughts during DM, it's important to gently return to the mantra without analyzing the content or forcing the mantra to come. Also, real Samyama involves releasing intentions into inner silence and always leads to positive outcomes. This is because negativity cannot come from pure bliss consciousness. Samyama is a morally self-regulating practice, where negative thoughts or intentions are transformed into divine love and support. Even if Samyama is done with negative words or for selfish reasons, the outcome is still positive because inner silence transforms negative intentions into divine expressions.
So best to favor the practice over experiences and not be fighting with or attempting to reverse intrusive or negative thoughts during practice. Best to stick with the procedure of Samyama, which involves releasing the faintest feeling of the sutras into stillness, rather than getting caught up in the content of other thoughts or experiences that may be occurring in the mind.
If intrusive and catastrophic thoughts become overwhelming during practice, then consider the remedy in Lesson 15, which involves witnessing the thoughts or sensations without judgment for a time before continuing with practice. In most cases this will enable the sensations to subside. However, if intrusive thoughts are driven by an OCD condition, this procedure may not fully dissolve the thought impulses. Regardless, we always gently favor the practice over the experiences that may come up. Also, make sure to take plenty of time resting before getting up from practice, as this can help negative thoughts to dissolve and less likely to be carried out into daily activity.
It seems you have been dealing with this for a long time, and your dedication to practice is admirable. Happy to hear that the results have been good in daily life, which is the true measure of our practice, not so much what may be happening during practice. Do not worry about anything negative coming out from the pure bliss consciousness of abiding inner silence. Slowly but surely the negativity is being dissolved. It is going to be alright.
Wishing you all the best on your continuing path.
The guru is in you. 
PS: The above is not to discourage you from receiving medical help you feel is appropriate for your situation.
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Rudolf
Italy
4 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2025 : 7:21:57 PM
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 Thank you so much for your comprehensive response and support |
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yogani
USA
5280 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2025 : 7:53:40 PM
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Jack
United Kingdom
306 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2025 : 02:18:46 AM
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I recommend to you the YouTube Channel 'OCD Recovery'.
OCD latches onto your fear. Fighting it with the opposite is like trying to wrestle your way out of quicksand. Better to de-catastrophise those worst case scenarios.
EVEN IF this fear were to be true/come true, life would still go on, I will still have innate worth as a human, and I would still be able to live my life.
Wishing you well. |
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Rudolf
Italy
4 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2025 : 10:32:29 PM
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Thanks Jack,I'll watch the channel you recommended me |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2523 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2025 : 08:23:09 AM
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Hello Rudolf
I second Yogani on the possibility of you seeking medical help
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1578 Posts |
Posted - Jan 20 2025 : 05:45:39 AM
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Dear Rudolf,
I note that you have been practicing AYP from the early years of AYP (2005). Are you able to witness that thoughts?
Sey
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ocd and catastrophic thoughts
