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selfpaste
Spain
10 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 08 2025 : 5:36:39 PM
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Hello all 
I wanted to ask you AYPers about your experiences with spiritual sensitivity and how it has affected certain aspects of your relationships to others.
When you interact with other people, and you find that they have certain views that might lead to suffering, are you able to just let that go or do you find yourself getting dragged into these ideas/obstructions somehow?
I have found that holding on to your own view and fighting those ideas does not help. If I don't 'loose my balance', these ideas don't really touch me. But, depending on the circumstances, I feel like I absorb those ideas and I do experience their possibly unpleasant consequences.
This often happens without me really wanting it to happen (e.g. when people are forceful) and it feels like the whole situation gets cleared out of my system on the following meditations. I have even observed, that at some point, the other person might start experiencing these negative consequences of their ideas for themselves. Some people have gotten sick after this process, but it's hard to say for sure if that was actually the cause of the sickness. In the end, the other person seems to have forgotten about these false ideas. Sometimes though, the process 'doesn't work' and they seem quite unaffected.
So somehow, I suspect that I'm participating in the process of purification of other people, but often unwillingly. It can drain my energy. Perhaps at more advanced stages (as your system becomes more capable of moving energy, and more at peace with however energy is moving at the moment) this becomes a much more pleasant process.
Have you noticed that you sometimes you get caught up mental battles with other people?
This sounds like it shouldn't be a real thing. Nevertheless, I have found that I have started to operate in the world, by having an idea of what I want to do, which gradually gets clearer. It's some sort of visualization, except that I don't do it purposefully. This might be the beginnings of stillness in action. In the end, the idea might become real, but sometimes it does not.
The catch is, that sometimes someone else might not share the way I envisioned certain things. This can start a similar some sort of mental battle, that might play out during the day or during my meditation. Sometimes, I'm able to let this go too and stop engaging in it. I believe that is way to deal with it. It can also happen that I end up absorbing the other person's opinion/idea.
I'm just generally wondered whether other people have also made similar experiences and how they are handling their increasing capabilities of connection. Because I have to admit that other people's ideas can sometimes make it difficult for me to stay centered and know what the right course of action is. Perhaps my perspective on all of this will change with time.
Thank you for reading |
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yogani
USA
5280 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2025 : 4:32:14 PM
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Hi selfpaste,
One of the paradoxes of advancing spiritual experience is that we are able to be more connected with others, but with less attachment. This enables us to express our truth in stillness, argue less, accept where others are more, help more, and go our own way with grace. We will also be less affected by being judged by others, just as we will judge others less. All of which is to say, continue with practices, deep meditation especially, while letting the results integrate naturally with daily activity. During the formative stage, there can be some sensitivity like you describe. In time, it all comes home.
All the best!
The guru is in you. 
PS: For a more "wordy" answer, I am putting your two questions to an AI, drawing on the full content of AYP Plus. It offers a more detailed response, though the few words above may be more than enough.
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yogani
USA
5280 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2025 : 4:32:33 PM
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AI response mentioned above, drawing on the full content of AYP Plus:
quote:
When you interact with other people, and you find that they have certain views that might lead to suffering, are you able to just let that go or do you find yourself getting dragged into these ideas/obstructions somehow?
Answer: When interacting with people who hold views that could lead to suffering, it can be challenging to remain unaffected. One of the most effective ways to navigate these interactions is to cultivate abiding inner silence through deep meditation. With consistent practice, thoughts gradually become objects that can be observed with detachment, allowing for greater choice in how one engages with them. Inner silence, often referred to as the witness, acts as a buffer, allowing individuals to see the world and the views of others with less identification and judgment.
The sources highlight that individuals can find themselves getting caught up in the views and obstructions of others, especially if their own inner silence is not sufficiently developed. This can lead to offering unsolicited advice, engaging in unproductive arguments, or feeling a sense of responsibility for the suffering of others.
"Relational self-inquiry," a practice facilitated by the presence of the witness, can be helpful in such situations. It involves questioning the truth and validity of thoughts and perceptions that arise in interactions with others. By releasing these thoughts and perceptions into stillness, their power over the individual diminishes, leading to greater peace and freedom.
It is important to note that letting go of the views of others does not mean becoming passive or indifferent to their suffering. Rather, it enables a more compassionate and helpful response, free from the need to change or control others. By embodying inner silence and practicing relational self-inquiry, individuals can navigate challenging interactions with greater clarity and ease, promoting both their own well-being and the well-being of those around them.
quote:
Have you noticed that you sometimes you get caught up mental battles with other people?
Answer: Picking up on a theme in the previous answer about the challenge of staying detached from other people's potentially harmful views:
You asked before about how to avoid getting "dragged into these ideas/obstructions," and in response, it was noted that the sources emphasize cultivating inner silence as a key to avoiding this. The sources make it clear that when inner silence is not sufficiently developed, it's easy to get caught up in mental battles.
Here are some points to consider about why that happens and how to avoid it:
- Lack of Inner Silence: Without adequate inner silence, the mind reacts automatically to external stimuli, leading to entanglement in the thoughts and emotions of others. This can result in unproductive arguments or attempts to control others' beliefs.
- Relational Self-Inquiry: The sources advocate for "relational self-inquiry," which involves questioning the truth of thoughts and perceptions that arise in interactions, and releasing them into stillness. This helps to diminish their power and promote detachment.
- Focusing on Personal Practice: Prioritizing personal spiritual practices over engaging in mental battles is crucial. This involves cultivating inner silence through deep meditation and other techniques, rather than trying to change others' views.
- Embracing Compassion: Letting go of others' views does not equate to indifference to their suffering. Instead, it fosters a compassionate response, recognizing that everyone is on their own journey and has their own lessons to learn.
By cultivating inner silence, practicing relational self-inquiry, and focusing on personal growth, individuals can minimize their involvement in mental battles and promote a more harmonious and compassionate approach to interacting with others.
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selfpaste
Spain
10 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2025 : 8:13:28 PM
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Hello yogani and all,
Thank you for your encouraging reply And thank you for what you are doing with AYP. It has been tremendously helpful over the past 2 years.
Yogani AI also has interesting points. I have been getting a bit more unsolicited advice than I would have liked to.. and I'm not so good at dealing with it for now. Sometimes I get quite impatient and want my surroundings to change and get away from things, but I have to remember that things only change slowly and its better to be patient... and that I don't really have a hut on the mountain like John Wilder (and seemingly no worries about sustaining himself) 
selfpaste |
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yogani
USA
5280 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2025 : 9:07:37 PM
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quote:
Sometimes I get quite impatient and want my surroundings to change and get away from things
Hi Selfpaste,
Impatience is an aspect of bhakti, and can be used to spur us to act to advance on our path.
You might want to consider doing an AYP retreat (residential or online), which can provide a boost in abiding inner silence, and help improve our relationships. Check with Christi/Tristan on what retreats are coming up, or see the schedule here.
The guru is in you.
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selfpaste
Spain
10 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2025 : 11:28:57 AM
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Hello yogani,
I've been on Tristan's retreats multiple times now and they are great! I'm really yearning for some more stability in my life right now. There has been so much change over the last year, yet somehow I still get impatient about the aspects that are still the same. My spiritual practice right now is already quite extensive and I hope to set up my life in a way so that I can continue to do that. It might happen pretty soon.
Thank you for your answers
selfpaste |
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yogani
USA
5280 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2025 : 3:00:20 PM
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Spiritual sensitivity and relationships
