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qspadone
31 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 13 2024 : 4:04:36 PM
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Hi all,
I have a bunch of questions regarding mantra repetition and mantra refinement.
I feel like no two meditations look the same (and I know that's how it's supposed to be anyway according to Yogani) in the sense that following Yogani's instructions lead to different mantra patterns and refinement, but I just don't know which is right.
Sometimes, after a couple repetitions where I really try not to force anything, the mantra naturally refines into a very deep, faint (1) "mmmmmmmmmmm" which lasts for the whole duration of the meditation. In that sense, I'm a bit bummed because it does not seem like a 'back-to-back' repetition anymore. I'm left wondering, am I consciously producing this outcome by not allowing the next repetition to come through ?
Which brings me to some other meditations where (and this is maybe where I am 'forcing' the mantra repetitions?) the mantra goes like this :
(2) "ayamayamayamayamaaayaaaammaaayyyaaaammmaaaayamayamayamayaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaammmmmmaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamayamayam" with very distinct changes in rythm. I generally don't lose it as much as I do in case (1) where it becomes almost instantly very faint. In case (2) the mantra does not become as fuzzy or faint (or at least that what I believe).
In my experience, it is either one (1) or the other (2) that happens. Which makes me wonder: which is the correct one?
In case (2), there is a lot more body movement which accompanies the mantra, and a lot of popping in the spine, and circular head movements, bending, etc. and it is sometimes quite aggressive. I don't seem to lose the mantra as much as in case (2). Maybe I'm forcing it too much?
In case (1), there is a little bit a body movement, but not nearly as much.
In terms of results in my daily activity, I haven't been able to determine which brings the best results. I have a lot of addictive tendencies and I used to work the 12 Steps in Al-Anon and sexual addiction 12 Steps programs.
I suffer from anxiety, and I have a lot of negative self-talk and emotions going on.
I just don't see the results in my daily life, to be honest, even after months of meditating daily.
I still feel very impulsive and I have a lot of unhealthy beliefs which are blocking me.
Any help is much appreciated.
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Jun 14 2024 : 06:36:24 AM
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Dear qspadone,
You are doing just fine. All of the above is fine. Stop worrying about it. Long term benefits do not come from individual sessions and how you repeated or did not repeat the mantra, it comes from consistently sitting in DM, ideally 2x a day without getting discouraged. It comes from bringing your awareness within everyday (the mantra is a lollipop to shut the mind up).
Enjoy your practices,
Sey  |
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Meditation method and trouble seeing the results
