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DreamWeaver
USA
44 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 19 2024 : 03:18:25 AM
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Hi,
I'm wondering how it's possible to sustain the transformation grief/loss/loneliness into Bhakti.
I used to create out of a sense of deep longing for that something or someone, often with good results. But over the years I've just kind of lost hope that any of it will matter and that that inner longing will never be fulfilled even by God, so now there's more of a sense of "what's the point?" and the creative outlets go nowhere. How to revive this?
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Dogboy
USA
2201 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2024 : 01:28:49 AM
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I consider my self a writer, artist, and yogi who has had a smidgen of success in the first two, and for now, yoga is my creative outlet that I tap into on a daily basis. I, too, fall into "what ifs" and have learned to treat those thoughts as sutras (acknowledge and release) and be open to whatever echos back over time. Perhaps offer your longing towards an ishta of your choosing. It is all about not attaching to grief and loss and loneliness, acknowledging and releasing, over and over, over time, until there is no more need to do so.
Allow your creativity to be attachment free. Creativity thrives when it is not weighed down. It is hard to be creative when your thoughts dictate otherwise. |
Edited by - Dogboy on Mar 20 2024 01:30:33 AM |
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DreamWeaver
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2024 : 3:50:51 PM
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Thanks, Dogboy.
Do you think this could be the barrier itself? Like, dropping the need for fulfillment itself? But then how do I keep going if vulnerable expression feels like the highest form of service I'm capable of lol! Maybe this deep despair is the death throes of the ego (so-to-speak). But slogging through life feeling lifeless feels like bypassing. Like, in what universe is that beautiful or helpful!? What difficult discernment! I keep going. I keep going. 
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Dogboy
USA
2201 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2024 : 8:09:04 PM
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Dream Weaver, you are obviously going through change, and reflecting on thoughts, feelings, and discomfort is the way to a different understanding. If you can witness thoughts on listlessness, slogging, and deep despair, challenging their accuracy, and/or reflecting on change actions you can attempt or offer up, then you are moving through it, in its time.
I suffer often with inaction, and the ability to "produce for production's sake" without fear, for simply the love of it. I am often happier once I overcome this initial inertia.
You might want to schedule an appointment to check for depression. Self inquiry alone may not be the proper solution, depending on the situation.
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interpaul
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2024 : 03:00:28 AM
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| Dreamweaver, Dogboy has offered an interesting perspective, one I've found useful. I do agree with his suggestion about addressing the emotional component as I think it is challenging to meditate ourselves out of grief/loss and loneliness. I have found my mood has improved over the years as I've continued on my yoga path but do believe other efforts often need to be taken to address depression, anxiety etc. Yogani certainly shares useful tips on navigating this territory but he often will acknowledge the need for exploring other avenues to address struggles when they are significant. I hope you experience some easing of this struggle soon. Keep us updated. |
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DreamWeaver
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2024 : 3:33:04 PM
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Thanks for the advice Dogboy and interpaul.
No need to check for depression, it's very real and been with me for the better part of a decade. I've been on/off medications and in therapy for most of that time with some moderate periods of attenuation. Unfortunately most of the origins are trauma related, and I've had very little success addressing this no matter what I do. I get what you mean by self-inquiry alone not being the proper solution, but K also feels like the last frontier of hope. Actually...more than that! It feels like the promise of the spiritual awakening that Carl Jung thought (correctly, imo) was necessary for the transformation of addictive behavior. I guess my original question was related more to how I might channel all of this "negative" energy into a "positive" so that I can make my art. It's one of the most potent motivators to keep me going, and yet for many years I have been unable to bring it forward though I am told I make things that people haven't seen before and that I could potentially achieve a level of success with it. More important to me than success, though, is that I want to bring some beauty into this world! I'd be super upset to leave this life without seeing where this could go or without bringing some inspiration to others. The only thing I know how to do is keep praying and going to work, which I suppose is plenty for now.  |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4378 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2024 : 6:22:34 PM
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Hi Dreamweaver,
You may find this lesson useful:
Lesson 67 - Bhakti - The Science of Devotion
"There are always desires coming. We want this. We want that. We want money. We want food. We want a lover. We want a new car. Even anger and frustration are desires - desires that have hit a wall, so the energy goes haywire in our nervous system. So many desires are flying all over the place, sending us hither and yon, crashing into each other. You name it. The technique of bhakti is in redirecting our desires, harnessing them. Some people naturally find this ability. For others, it comes up over time, as there is more silence in the mind and heart from meditation. The inner silence cultivated in meditation is underneath the desires bubbling up, so we can see them like moving objects. We are a bit detached from the emotional energy in us. Then we can nudge it toward our highest ideal. Just a very easy nudging. No forcing. No big campaign. It is just an easy favoring of our ideal when we notice some emotional energy surging up. It does not matter if it is positive or negative energy." [Yogani]
The key is to develop a sense of what your highest ideal is and then to keep cultivating that whenever emotions arise, regardless of whether you consider them to be negative or positive emotions. If someone feels trapped in a prison, they could use the feeling of being trapped to motivate them to escape from the prison. If someone feels depressed, they could use that feeling to help others who are depressed. So, everything can be turned around. It is simply a question of developing the habit of turning them around. Spending time in nature is actually a very useful aid in turning negative emotions around. Nature is a great healer. Being physically active is also very helpful. Meditation can only help to a certain extent, especially if trauma is involved.
You may also find this lesson helpful:
Lesson 340 - Transforming Emotional Energy for Enlightenment
And these lesson additions:
Addition 340.2 - Frustrated with Perceived Lack of Progress
Addition 340.3 - How to Handle a Plateau in Perceived Spiritual Progress |
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DreamWeaver
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2024 : 8:52:05 PM
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| very helpful, Christi. Thank you! |
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Transforming grief & loss into Bhakti
