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SamC
United Kingdom
3 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 06 2022 : 6:09:40 PM
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Dear friends,
I do have a question maybe somebody could be kind to offer some advice, I would like to give a little context on my journey below and will keep that short,
It was almost 9 years ago when I had reached the limit of my suffering and due to the highest of blessings, randomly picked up (out of all meditation books) a book called deep meditation by Yogani… After 5 years of diligent twice daily practise, I took a difficult decision to switch and started practising and serving a lot in the Vipassana centres (both Goenka and mahasi). Fast forward 3 more years, on my last Vipassana retreat, Shakti made her presence felt and quite extreme automatic yoga started happening (somewhat like a wild beast)
In hindsight (given what I had learned previously in AYP), the instructions given were very aggressive at stimulating the energy and sending it up (plus the meditation periods of around 16 hours a day). The whole body/ energy body wanted to open, and was internally stretching itself apart in a mesmerising and humbling display. This went on for a few days, at one point it was clearly observed sushumna and the the serpent climbing up in a beautiful artistic display. I agreed with the monk to end the retreat 2 weeks early because the automatic processes going on were unstoppable, even when not actively meditating. Of course there was a lot of imbalance to deal with after, sunburn on the inside, jerks of the limbs and a few days after of wild emotions (mainly fear about things not settling down).
I trolled the forums and reread the AYP books on the imbalances and managed to find a lot of relief from walking a lot, although the nights were still pretty hectic for a couple of weeks! When I got back to work (on a ship) things settled right down after a few days due to the busy nature of the job. Over the length of the 3 month contract I built back up to my old AYP routine (basically all practices from the 1st book except Bastrika practices and crown awareness). It was a quick build up but it felt completely natural and comfortable as the previous energy imbalance was stabilising.
So I finished work 10 days ago and here we are at the present day and I’m in Ko Phangan in Thailand for a few weeks. As soon as I finished work and the busy worldly affairs subsided, the energy was there again in abundance (practice remained at same level), things have been stable yet ‘on the leading edge’. In addition to my AYP practices I’m attending some social tantra classes to work on some lingering inhibitions around closeness and contact with others. This is very heart opening for me.
My question is around the beautiful displays of the divine. Since arriving here in Ko Phangan, Whenever I hear music, the body starts moving, Shakti takes over and I surrender. The Dancing becomes mesmerising displays of beautifuopy coordinated rhythym, twirling, arching and every kind of movement. Then if I switch the intention to tai chi, (I’d never even thought about doing it before and I don’t know any moves)… but there it is again; mesmerising, artistic, precise, powerful display. Then to martial arts and the power and movement through the physical body is beyond anything the limited self could ever achieve with the mind. Beautiful. Humbling.
Is this some kind of minor siddhi or is this just the way the body is moved when the Shakti is awakened (and maybe the energy of where I am)? Are any outward displays of these a drain on spiritual progress? I am mindful to be surrendered and that it is nothing to do with Sam (I’ve had many tragic displays on the dance floors in the past to confirm that one :-)) … but it feels like one must be must be extremely careful to not subtly be growing the ego with outward displays. I guess these manifestations of energy will also pass as obstructions are released?
I cannot begin to describe my immense feeling of gratitude towards the teachings and guidance I have read on the here. It makes tears roll down my face as I right this sentence and think about the transformation that has occurred in the last several years.
With love and gratitude,
Sam |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2022 : 02:03:15 AM
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Sam, welcome 
What a beautiful tale. I believe because you had AYP as a foundation, you may have saved yourself much pain by knowing to self pace and ground, to suspend practices until you were stable, to surrender and not fear the process. That monk gave you good advice, no telling what two more weeks would have done to you.
I have been with AYP for nine years also, and experience the ecstatic body in many of the ways you describe, and consider it a siddi as it is not available to most beings. Most nights when I close my eyes, there is arousal, and I have learned surrender from it, to dissolve into blissful sleep. If I were to cling to any of the sensations I believe I would be up all night. Yogani promised these practices eventually could allow for a blissful body 24/7, and my experience is silence/sensations are easily manifested, simply by my gentle attention. My ecstatic body has also made it easier to observe my thoughts and actions, and hence, keep my ego at bay when my thoughts misbehave.
I walk religiously everyday, quiet and open to sensations, with the added bonus being grounded by the natural world while radiating, connecting, through the soles of my feet. AYP has given me such a stable platform, I am able to open the shushumna as wide as my being allows that day, to experience expansion radiating from all my eyes, my nostrils and mouth, out the solar center, through the tips of my fingers and my foot falls.
Sam, it sounds as if you almost burst through the crown. My guess the next time for you could be easier, but please don’t push yourself too hard, and continue to be outside regardless. It does not feel as if I will be bursting through the crown anytime soon, but to be where I am right now is pleasant enough |
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SamC
United Kingdom
3 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2022 : 08:01:32 AM
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Hello Dogboy, I very much appreciate your thoughtful response. It is always supportive to hear the perspective of others and their experiences along the road.
It is true that the knowledge gained from AYP has saved me a lot of pain. During the retreat, as the energy processes moved up into the head, there was a big red flag moment for me remembering the words by Yogani about crown opening which initiated the discussion about stopping the retreat. Without that knowledge I would have probably just pressed ahead, as the instructions in this tradition are clearing out the sankaras out from the top of the head. Unfortunately no guidance is usually offered in the Theravada Buddhist traditions on the subject of kindalini, I was fortunate that the monk had been through a spontaneous kundalini awakening himself so had some acceptance of the terminology and we could discuss it.
I recognise a very long road ahead before such a thing (crown opening) will even be considered intentionally… there is absolutely no desire for it at the moment… I’ve had a taster of the devastation it can cause! As you so aptly put out, to be where I am right now is (indescribably) pleasant enough!
The essential cornerstone of AYP practices, self pacing and grounding. There is not much talk of that these days. On my travels in India and around asia, most of the time, awakening kundalini is either framed as dangerous and certain practices should not be done, or there is an ‘intensive’ approach with little regard for a stable base platform. We are very blessed to have ended up here with little guidance on these critical aspects of awakening elsewhere. Theoretically the writings of Yogani made so much sense to me when I read it at the start of the journey… upon honest reflection, I grew a little impatient after a few years and now, experientially, it is all so crystal clear… what is the rush??.. there is opening and purifying each day…expanding love… expanding wisdom…spontaneous joy… and at the same time, an increasing detachment to all of this beauty which allows the letting it all go into the stillness… everything will happen in time if I keep the car on the road, it’s a beautiful journey.
Thank you for your beautiful description on your experiences of the ecstatic body and your radiant walks on nature… it sings to my heart.. I am very much looking forward to my walk along the beautiful beach here this evening. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2022 : 08:55:10 AM
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Dear Sam,
Shakti is a 'femme fatale' - do not fall too deeply in love with her, she will lead and keep you on the merry dance of samsara. 
Enjoy your practices.
Sey 
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SamC
United Kingdom
3 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2022 : 10:17:34 AM
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Dear Sey,
Thank you for the wise words, that advice is crystal clear….the truth of it felt….Alluring as she may be…
With gratitude |
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The beautiful dance of Shakti
