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 Kundalini Issues Not Related to the AYP System
 Too much feminine energy from the kundalini - Help
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Harry.s

Canada
4 Posts

Posted - Aug 24 2022 :  08:35:32 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hello,

I had a spontenous kundalini about a year and half ago after i was working to correct muscle imbalances from the multiple injuries i had.

The kundalini ended up traveling through the left side of the body almost working to clear out and repair the injured nerves etc.. which were all along the left side of the body. It was going fine but the issue thats coming up is i can feel a significant more feminine energy (on the left side) and its starting to manifest in odd ways.

My question is.. are there ways to make the energy more masucline (not sure if this would be possible) or either reduce the feminine aspect of it or get them balanced in the right ratio?

The energy is effecting my thoughts etc. quite a lot recently. Naturally im not an overly macho guy but definetly more masculine in nature so this is becoming quite concerning. Would really appeciate some insight.. i remember someone mentioning in a kundalini video that this kind of imbalance is possible but they never went into the details of how to correct it.

Thank you!

Christi

United Kingdom
4387 Posts

Posted - Aug 24 2022 :  10:38:01 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Harry,

As you probably know, everyone has both male and female energies inside them. Sometimes one is more dominant than the other. During an awakening, all sorts of things can happen, as inner blockages are cleared out. This does not mean that there is an imbalance necessarily. It could be that there was an imbalance that is being corrected. Eventually these two energies (masculine and feminine) will merge and we transcend both of them. In other words, we come to know ourselves as being neither male or female, neither masculine or feminine, but as something beyond both.

The practices of Spinal Breathing Pranayama and Deep Meditation will work to correct any imbalances that do exist in the body. This works for imbalances between the upper and lower centres, and any imbalances between left/ right sides. So, you can trust that the practices will work. Trying to deliberately purify one side of the body more than the other, to fix a perceived imbalance, could actually make a situation worse.

There is more on this in this lesson:

Lesson 207 - Left or Right Side Imbalances



Christi
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interpaul

USA
530 Posts

Posted - Aug 24 2022 :  8:15:51 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Harry, It isn't clear from yoyur description how the kundalini energy is expressing itself in you as feminine. My initial encounter with the kunalini energy was in waves of ecstatic energry flowing up from my root into my head that lasted over two hours. As I experienced this I wondered if this was feminine energy given how it didn't behave in the usual crescendo fashion of the male arrousal pathway. I have to admit, I was pretty jealous of the "feminine" energy at that point. Since then I've stopped judging and come to appreciate these are just different manifestations of the ecstatic energies within me. It is truly a journey of discovery if you find a place of deep acceptance of how it is rather than what you want it to be.

On another level our gender identies have been under a lot of scrutiny in recent years. We have a lot to learn from exporing these complex feelings. Yoga has a way of bringing attention to all of these issues. The more I greet my feelings without judgement the more I am able to gradually integrate them.
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Harry.s

Canada
4 Posts

Posted - Aug 25 2022 :  06:10:42 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank you for the reply and that makes sense. It has definitely gotten me more intuned with my emotions since I had a difficult time with feelings before.

I looked up the spinal breathing and I will definitely try that to hopefully bring more balance. Is there more instructions on the particulars of the deep meditation?

Also could you please give me your thoughts on the following situation ive seemed to dug myself in, whether I'm just psyching myself out or if there is anything actually to it?

I had this trauma of sexual abuse when I was young around 6 yrs old from someone who was related and male. My body had suppresed it and it surfaced as i was doing trauma work after the kundalini came through. I had talked to a psychologist about the details and he said not to worry about it. And I was too young to have any say and to just let it go. But for some reason I kept ruminating on it thinking it was somehow my fault and the fact the other person is a close relative it was very difficult as I still have to maintain the relationship.

In the last 6 months or so, as the left side became more active, I've been getting this feeling that somehow I'm turning gay? It wasn't a big deal at first but I kept ruminating on it and then the thoughts seemed to have like attached to the kundalini and over the last bit it's gotten much worse to a point where I'm starting to have some actual minor "gay" thoughts and even beginning to feel like it to a point. It's still not bad but I'm concerned it will get worse if I can't resolve this.

Now I've got nothing against someone who's gay but all of this literally feels forced, by not being able to let go of the trauma. Knowing that the kundalini is more feminine energy is also kinda freaking me out.

I went into my past pretty throughly and I never had any tendencies like that before this trauma surfaced. I've been in many mostly healthy relationships with females. I think ive now been able to come to terms with the trauma but since it too so long and I'm feeling pretty off. Now I'm kinda confused with my sexuality?.. i wouldnt have ever imagined something like this happening. Hence why I'm thinking trying to get more intuned with the Masculine side might help??

Sorry if it this sounds wierd but any outside suggestions would help cuz I feel like I got too in deep with my over thinking on this one.
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SeySorciere

Seychelles
1540 Posts

Posted - Aug 25 2022 :  06:51:08 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Dear Harry,

This is not as un-common as you think. We have had plenty of reports here on the forums from men who are suddenly feeling too feminine and wondering if they are gay. It's a phase that will pass - so don't worry too much about it. Now there is a masculine component to Kundalini. This is where Deep meditation comes in. So please do not jump into AYP with spinal breathing to try and bring balance to your energies but start (as recommended) with deep meditation in Lesson 13

https://www.aypsite.org/13.html

And extract from Lesson 69

quote:
Let's look at some of the principles involved in rising kundalini and how imbalances can occur. As we do, we will look at some other measures you can take.

The metaphorical mythology of kundalini describes a union between Shakti (a name for kundalini in motion) and Shiva (pure bliss consciousness). As you know, Shakti starts out near the base of the spine in the huge storehouse of prana there, i.e., sexual energy. In the mythology, Shiva is located at the top of the head. So the way it is described is Shakti awakens, goes up through all the chakras until she reaches the top of the head, and there she finds union with Shiva who is waiting there for her. He is just hanging out there doing nothing, you know. They make love and nectar overflows downward, enlightening the practitioner. Very romantic, isn't it? Especially for Shiva, who sits up there doing nothing while Shakti fights her way upward (through your nervous system!) to find him.

While it looks great on paper, this scenario does not work very well. In practice, most of the time this approach is a flop because it assumes that Shakti will do all the work, and find Shiva at the crown. She will sure try, and tear up your nervous system in the process. Hence the excessive kundalini symptoms. Things can get so uncomfortable that practices can't continue, and then it goes into a long slow burn from then on.

The answer to this is to get Shiva off his butt and doing something. He has to get off his lofty perch and "get down" with Shakti wherever she may be in the body, which is everywhere once she is awake and coming up. While their union may finally end up somewhere "up there," Shiva and Shakti must be brought together everywhere in the body first. If this is done, some craziness may still be there, but it will be the craziness of the ecstatic union of Shiva and Shakti going on in every nerve and cell in the body, rather than the blistering chaos of Shakti's energy alone burning through everything it meets, all of which is in your body. In short, which do you prefer, ecstasy or agony?

This is why spinal breathing is the first recommendation. It directly activates both masculine and feminine energies, and it brings them together in a balanced way. The ascending breath brings Shakti to Shiva, and the descending breath brings Shiva to Shakti. It is a balanced relationship. Then, in union, they go out together to every nerve and cell in the body. With this approach, much more energy can be moved with far less stress to the system. It opens the possibility for much more aggressive spiritual practice than is possible using the Shakti-only approach. And it is a lot of ecstatic fun too.

It should be mentioned that with the I AM mantra, the balancing of masculine and feminine energies is taken into account also, as was discussed in the lesson, "Q&A -- Some mantra particulars."

The rest of our advanced practices are also designed to be dual-pole in nature. We introduced mulabandha at the root and sambhavi at the third eye. In the future we will continue to take this approach of introducing new practices in a dual-pole way. Balance. The rise of ecstatic conductivity in the spinal nerve is a manifestation of this balance, the ecstatic union of Shiva and Shakti in the sushumna.


I hope we are not over-flooding you with information


Sey

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Harry.s

Canada
4 Posts

Posted - Aug 25 2022 :  07:03:58 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Also when the energies combine, which i think is pretty close since the kundalini is right near the crown chakra.. what does it feel more like?

I ask this cuz the kundalini which has gone along more the left side of the spine, has like an electriky, crisper, faster flowing feel.. literally has like a feminine feel to it. Whereas my normal energy thats on my right side has like a darker but more smoother kind of feel.

Females seem to be quite attracted to it but ever since it went past the throat, oddly enough other dudes seem to also be either pulled or like disgusted by it which im hoping goes away once they combine. Personally i like my own energy feel but if its gonna end up becoming alot more feminine im wondering if its even worth it anymore since i hadnt really asked for it. Apologies on getting all technical.. i just dont wanna have all these regrets later that couldve possibly been avoided.
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Harry.s

Canada
4 Posts

Posted - Aug 25 2022 :  07:08:42 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Okay thats a relief to hear. Thank you for the reply. I will read into and do the deep meditation and hopefully that helps.

And not at all.. i sincerely appreciate the info!

quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere

Dear Harry,

This is not as un-common as you think. We have had plenty of reports here on the forums from men who are suddenly feeling too feminine and wondering if they are gay. It's a phase that will pass - so don't worry too much about it. Now there is a masculine component to Kundalini. This is where Deep meditation comes in. So please do not jump into AYP with spinal breathing to try and bring balance to your energies but start (as recommended) with deep meditation in Lesson 13

https://www.aypsite.org/13.html

And extract from Lesson 69

quote:
Let's look at some of the principles involved in rising kundalini and how imbalances can occur. As we do, we will look at some other measures you can take.

The metaphorical mythology of kundalini describes a union between Shakti (a name for kundalini in motion) and Shiva (pure bliss consciousness). As you know, Shakti starts out near the base of the spine in the huge storehouse of prana there, i.e., sexual energy. In the mythology, Shiva is located at the top of the head. So the way it is described is Shakti awakens, goes up through all the chakras until she reaches the top of the head, and there she finds union with Shiva who is waiting there for her. He is just hanging out there doing nothing, you know. They make love and nectar overflows downward, enlightening the practitioner. Very romantic, isn't it? Especially for Shiva, who sits up there doing nothing while Shakti fights her way upward (through your nervous system!) to find him.

While it looks great on paper, this scenario does not work very well. In practice, most of the time this approach is a flop because it assumes that Shakti will do all the work, and find Shiva at the crown. She will sure try, and tear up your nervous system in the process. Hence the excessive kundalini symptoms. Things can get so uncomfortable that practices can't continue, and then it goes into a long slow burn from then on.

The answer to this is to get Shiva off his butt and doing something. He has to get off his lofty perch and "get down" with Shakti wherever she may be in the body, which is everywhere once she is awake and coming up. While their union may finally end up somewhere "up there," Shiva and Shakti must be brought together everywhere in the body first. If this is done, some craziness may still be there, but it will be the craziness of the ecstatic union of Shiva and Shakti going on in every nerve and cell in the body, rather than the blistering chaos of Shakti's energy alone burning through everything it meets, all of which is in your body. In short, which do you prefer, ecstasy or agony?

This is why spinal breathing is the first recommendation. It directly activates both masculine and feminine energies, and it brings them together in a balanced way. The ascending breath brings Shakti to Shiva, and the descending breath brings Shiva to Shakti. It is a balanced relationship. Then, in union, they go out together to every nerve and cell in the body. With this approach, much more energy can be moved with far less stress to the system. It opens the possibility for much more aggressive spiritual practice than is possible using the Shakti-only approach. And it is a lot of ecstatic fun too.

It should be mentioned that with the I AM mantra, the balancing of masculine and feminine energies is taken into account also, as was discussed in the lesson, "Q&A -- Some mantra particulars."

The rest of our advanced practices are also designed to be dual-pole in nature. We introduced mulabandha at the root and sambhavi at the third eye. In the future we will continue to take this approach of introducing new practices in a dual-pole way. Balance. The rise of ecstatic conductivity in the spinal nerve is a manifestation of this balance, the ecstatic union of Shiva and Shakti in the sushumna.


I hope we are not over-flooding you with information


Sey




Edited by - Harry.s on Aug 25 2022 08:03:58 AM
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interpaul

USA
530 Posts

Posted - Aug 25 2022 :  8:26:43 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Harry, Thanks for being so open and sharing some more details. We are all wired so differently. Others may be able to comment on the specifics of how you experience it on the left and closer to one chakra or another. I personally have found these details person specific and not easy to interpret. A little like trying to bring meaning to someone else's dream. I am sorry to hear about your early childhood sexual trauma. It's sad knowing there are adults who do this to children leaving emotional wounds. Yoga has the potential to heal these wounds but the process can take you into painful territory. We are all on a path of self discovery. Accepting who you really are will likely lead you to a view of yourself that continues to evolve. Gender identy and sexual attraction are not as straightforward as we used to believe. Healing childhood wounds,remaining open to deeply exploring ones real gender,and sexual preferences may be a challenging path for you. If you are able to give yourself some time to experience these experiences without judgement and trust in your deeper self to work through this you will emerge with a more integrated and richer self identity. Getting support from whomever has wisdom in these realms is useful but ultimately it is a journey of self discovery.
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