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confusedShiva
USA
7 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 21 2021 : 8:09:01 PM
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Hello,
I've been an AYP practitioner for around 8 years now. Deep meditation and intermittent pranayama are my only practices. I do it fairly consistently.
Here's my experience lately: My daily practices are stable and smooth. But for any reason, if I'm not able to do it, I sense some burden growing on my mind. My behavior changes significantly (my friends/family recognize this and push me to go meditate when it happens). The longer I pause the practice, the worse it gets. After a break of few days, when I resume my practices again, the first day gets so overloaded that I'll physically get up and go to my bed and fall asleep and I'll not even recall doing it. It gets better the next day and back to normal on the third.
My mental stability is getting too dependent on my meditation practices. I don't know what's happening. People around me (who're not practitioners) seem to be doing fine without anything but my stability requires constant work for some reason.
Any thoughts on what's going on? |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2021 : 7:48:41 PM
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This is a difficult subject to approach as it opens many questions to the validity of practice regarding being dependent on certain criteria of practice its outcome and on going issues surrounding states or state we are trying to obtain ,practice produces effects in each and everyone a unique and individual experience relying on a set of rules prescribed by the system ,entrenchment in a state can become problematic when the precept becomes too rigid but remembering baseline is what we work from so add ons can cause different issues ,in my own experience and in some conclusion dependency is what to expect from any behaviour that becomes habitual if you then build concepts ideas around the habit it becomes something very different ,the question is how far can you go without the realization that practice only takes you to
another place within the realm of thought and consciousness and trying to stay there may cause stagnation and frustration many will disagree with this statement but it opens up a real debate about ourselves our quest, enlightenment and true purpose within this spectrum of spiritual or truth we wish to acknowledge about the many facets we care to see and feel . |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2021 : 08:39:37 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by confusedShiva
Hello,
I've been an AYP practitioner for around 8 years now. Deep meditation and intermittent pranayama are my only practices. I do it fairly consistently.
Here's my experience lately: My daily practices are stable and smooth. But for any reason, if I'm not able to do it, I sense some burden growing on my mind. My behavior changes significantly (my friends/family recognize this and push me to go meditate when it happens). The longer I pause the practice, the worse it gets. After a break of few days, when I resume my practices again, the first day gets so overloaded that I'll physically get up and go to my bed and fall asleep and I'll not even recall doing it. It gets better the next day and back to normal on the third.
My mental stability is getting too dependent on my meditation practices. I don't know what's happening. People around me (who're not practitioners) seem to be doing fine without anything but my stability requires constant work for some reason.
Any thoughts on what's going on?
Hi ConfusedSiva,
This is something that can happen for some people, during a certain stage of practice. It has to do with the process of energetic purification and with blockages being released in a powerful way. If it does happen, it can last for a while, but like everything, eventually it will pass.
The important thing to do during this stage is to maintain a regular stable practice.
Christi |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2021 : 1:20:37 PM
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Dear ConfusedShiva
I have been trying to formulate an answer to your concern since yesterday and like Kumar says - it's a difficult subject to approach. But know that you are not the only one raising the question of dependency and not the only one with concerns that your day goes badly (perceived or not) after not meditating for the day. I have had reports from my small group here in Seychelles as well. However, your concern about "mental stability" does sound somewhat extreme and it gives me the impression that you are actually over-doing practices and should self-pace. It is a rather un-usual case of over-loading not being apparent when you are practicing but when you stop.
Please consider self-pacing
Sey 
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2021 : 03:23:42 AM
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quote:
and in some conclusion dependency is what to expect from any behaviour that becomes habitual if you then build concepts ideas around the habit it becomes something very different
Kumar is on point here; you need to uncouple your thought that not practicing = behavioral change. Your “sense of burden growing in my mind” is the mind (ego) trying to wrestle the wheel from you. Your daily practices are stable and smooth, and missing a day here or there should not have adverse effects, so when this “burden ghost”appears, you can try sitting with it in silence; it is fair to ask it “how real or true are you anyway?” This appears to me more mind related and less practice related.
Eight years of AYP means you most likely are ready for Samyama (https://www.aypsite.org/150.html). I have yet to read on the forums someone overloading from the practice, mainly because it is about surrendering, whilst in silence (and falls just after DM. Your inward practice now flows outward, a beautiful balance). It also primes your system to relieve outwardly, surplus burdens, surplus energies, surplus bliss and love. In my experience Samyama is very grounding in this way, a tool to unburden all sorts of baggage. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2021 : 11:32:25 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by confusedShiva
Here's my experience lately: My daily practices are stable and smooth. But for any reason, if I'm not able to do it, I sense some burden growing on my mind. My behavior changes significantly (my friends/family recognize this and push me to go meditate when it happens). The longer I pause the practice, the worse it gets. After a break of few days, when I resume my practices again, the first day gets so overloaded that I'll physically get up and go to my bed and fall asleep and I'll not even recall doing it. It gets better the next day and back to normal on the third.
Seems like a strong reason to keep up a regular practice. All the signs are that you need it.
Call it 'dependency ' if you like. We are dependent on various things that keep us alive - oxygen, food, water... Think of meditation as something that keeps you spiritually alive. It's a good dependency.
Enjoy your practice |
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Developing dependency
