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zamolxes
Romania
93 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 26 2021 : 5:28:27 PM
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Hi all,
I have been making friends with a very nice guy, who has a deep calling towards the inner processes of transformation. He has been a marijuana user for a long time which caused him major depression amd complexes, which made his mental and also physical health deteriorate. Now he is on the verge of a change, and coincidentally I met him again after some time. We began to hang out, and in the midst of me suggesting him to come to the seaside for some months to work and have a change of scenery, I began to introduce him to yoga and specifically meditation, which he is drawn towards.
Now, his main issue that made me think, is a kind of erectile dysfunction, which after some tests he found out it is not of a physical nature, and the cause is neither psychological, although he is very depressed because of it. And all that's left is an energetic blockage in the lower chakras. It would be a while before he completely decides to start spiritual practices (for which I will guide him towards Ayp) and I was curious if you have any suggestions, perhaps some of you may have some knowledge about this, or some exercises, or any kind of advice would be appreciated.
Thank you in advance  |
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lightandlove
Germany
85 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2021 : 11:48:08 AM
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Hi zamolxes,
I can not speak from a standpoint of diagnosed erectile dysfunction, but from beginning an intimate relationship after 2 years of semen retention and no sexual interest (which is probably a similar starting point).
I think the number one helpful thing is to have someone you can be very honest with and who listens and accepts you as you are. If you don't have a partner then this would mean to accept yourself. This takes off any stress and pressure, which is a big issue. Next step is to start becoming sexually more active. Try, see, fail, learn. Understand yourself what is happening (in your body and your mind) but at the same time learn to let go fully while being sexually active.
Another thing that truly helped is diet. And by that I mean diet that supports your libido.
Eat oats and nuts. Maca powder, Ashwaghanda, Cordyceps, zinc, magnesium, vitamins.
All this will help. But it can and will take time.
If it is more of physical nature I would suggest to go see a doctor. |
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alain
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2021 : 3:44:35 PM
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Hi,
When several issues are in play it is advisable to treat them one at a time.
The first one in this case being the addition. Cannabis is easier to quit than most addictions because the withdrawal symptoms are mild.
Finding one's bhakti is helpful also as it keeps ones focus away from the addition.
Of course deep meditation will help a lot.
Good luck with your friend.
alain |
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zamolxes
Romania
93 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2021 : 4:50:52 PM
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Thank you very much lightandlove, I think that would be the most effective and healthy, an active surrender towards the sexual energy, when it is active and stimulated. His case is that, he has sexual drive, he is attracted towards the opposite sex in a healthy way, and his hormonal reactions are functioning properly. He is beginning to open up in various way, and every time he comes more to life, to consciousness. I will try and keep writing here his case, as a kind of research perhaps, telling of his diet and actions, his psychological development also, how he opens up to the divine. Perhaps all of sexual conditions are just a wake-up call, to begin to see the sexual energy as a force of Nature, and not just a fragment of us
To be more whole... Hopefully, he will be more comfortable approaching yoga, and if people from the forum have some advices for introducing the most natural approach to him, I would very grateful, because I always ended up forcing things before. P
Thank you again light 
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Dogboy
USA
2193 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2021 : 9:27:16 PM
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| In 2010 I had a prostatectomy, and lost physical arousal for more than a year, until the severed nerve bundles could heal and reattach. It had no affect on libido or the ability to experience inner arousal or orgasm. I had a daily routine of asana poses, pranayama, massage, dance, inner arousal, visualizations, interspersed with the use of a pump. (This was before I had a meditation practice). Ultimately I believe the biggest boost to successfully healing was attitude. I kept it positive, playful, and disciplined, and discovered that arousal shouldn’t be entirely genital centric, that arousal doesn’t have to end with orgasm. |
Edited by - Dogboy on Apr 27 2021 9:31:40 PM |
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zamolxes
Romania
93 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2021 : 10:16:34 AM
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| Thank you alain and Dogboy, your pieces of advice are very useful. At the end of the day it is about bhakti, because it can allow us to be free from addictions, and allow us to be comfortable and open with our conditions, which ultimately clears away all of our resistance. Hopefully people will be more drawn towards deep meditation, because over time it helps us a lot during the ups and downs of our life. |
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alain
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2021 : 6:25:46 PM
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You are welcome zamolxes
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zamolxes
Romania
93 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2021 : 09:00:33 AM
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A follow up to his case:
He began having nightmares with this issue, dreaming repeatedly of being close to having sex, but waking up in a fright every time he is about to begin the act. So the obstruction may lie right where he woke up. All in all, he is beginning to be more open towards his conditions rather than running away from them. Thank you everyone for your concern and advices |
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lightandlove
Germany
85 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2021 : 2:05:09 PM
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Hi zamolxes,
does he have a sexual partner he can trust? I know that it is a compelling thought to figure this out by oneself, but no matter what, you will never know what actually happens when an actual sexual act starts. You have to work through this very practical, like you need to rehearse on stage with all the other actors when preparing for the theatre.
You could contemplate years on why this is so and how it won't happen anymore next time, but in the real situation it happens what you have no control over. This fear of wether your erection will "work" or not and all the pressure accompanying this, additional to past trauma as the root cause, will unconsciously build up and make you incapable. Or simpler, your body will not response as it should, because in your mind you are totally elsewhere. When there is no enjoyment in your mind but only fear, you rather will tremble than be aroused.
When we grow up we get a certain picture about sex. From parents, friends, media and so on. We have a very certain view and expectations of what it should be like. One main thing that we often have in our minds is that we need to perform. Without even feeling a true intimate bond to someone, we are supposed to be a good lover. And of course that means for the men to have a good erection and women are supposed to get wet, whenever it is demanded and ideally for the whole act. Also, the more the better and better be early, otherwise you will miss out.
Now when the act begins, this comes to your mind. You need to perform now, it is supposed to work. But as this is not natural, it will not always work out that way. Fear will arise that you will fail or that it will not be good.
It is helpful to contemplate first if you actually truly need to have sex now, especially if you feel truly attracted in an intimate way towards this person and if this person feels the same.
Two things happen.
On one side, all the pressure can go. It doesn't have to be right now. It totally is ok if it doesn't work out. It is supposed to happen when the time is right and not at any other time. Only when you feel good about it.
Second, in this way something very important can emerge. Trust. Both you and your partner feel this way, so you can trust another. Trust is intimacy. When you can trust another you can freely share your thoughts and feelings. You have issues getting an erection? Tell her. She needs to know. If she loves you and/or truly wants to be intimate with you, she will be ok. If she does not, there is no point of going further.
By talking about this there arises acceptance. You know that she knows about it and is ok with it. So next time you get intimate, you know that she will be fine and you don't have to "perform". It is ok if you don't. There is now space for it. She also doesn't have to perform. So the pressure goes down further and further. This is the same for any blockade.
At one point in this trust and intimacy, when there is space for everything, all these blockades, traumas and so on dissolve. This is when the energy can come in and unite you. |
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Erectile dysfunction
