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insideout
USA
44 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 18 2006 : 2:11:55 PM
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Hello,
First post here so I'll introduce myself a bit. I've been "I am"ing for 1 month and I just started with 5 minutes of spinal breathing 2 days ago.
Reading through some of your "enlightenment milestones" I got interested in researching more about kundalini awakening and I happened upon this site. It basically recounts stories of premature kundalini awakenings, think Gopi Krishna, but it also talks about possession and such. The conclusion of the site is any direct spiritual work, i.e. purifying your nervous system directly, is dangerous and should be abandoned. The way to enlightenment is through good works, aka "bhakti yoga."
Now I regret reading these stories because they brought up an old trip of mine (yes LSD  ) where a dark presence seemed to be nagging me  . Now this same feeling is recurring when I meditate. My patch up solution has been to meditate with the light on, yes a full-spectrum, energy-saving light bulb does drive away daemons  . I also notice that about half way through my mediation these silly thoughts are gone and I feel just fine.
This will probably clear up on its own right? Any exorcists posting here?  |
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weaver
832 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2006 : 3:23:53 PM
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Hi insideout :) and welcome to the AYP forum. There are many ways to reach enlightenment, and good works or bhakti yoga can be one of them. Many say that their own path is best and that others are dangerous. AYP is commonly seen as an accelerated path to enlightenment where we speed up the transformative processes. The risks should be very minor if good self-pacing is applied.
It's good to hear that your meditation is going well, and there is nothing wrong with meditating in good light. I have also find that thoughts that may be bothering usually go away a bit into the meditation. Yes, I would say that negative thoughts or feelings will clear out over time as there is more inner silence. |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2006 : 3:55:02 PM
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It is interesting because I have dreams every so often of trying to be possessed, and in the past had a dream or two where I was possessed. These were some of the only dreams that have ever really freightened me enough to wake me up.
I always thought the dream was a symbol of something, or something I could draw knowledge from.
I will never give up meditation unless my intuition suggests it. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4513 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2006 : 4:52:39 PM
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Hi Insideout (Nice name )
And welcome to the forum.
I'm an exorcist. well, I can exorcise demons, or rather, I can call on beings who come and banish demons. I don't make a habit of it, but sometimes it is necessary and help-full.
First off... you don't need to be afraid of demons, their power over us comes mainly from us giving them our power. So if you stay calm and centred, and refuse to give into the fear that they project, they will most likely stay away. There are also forms of protection that we can use if we are being pestered persistently. I mainly use visualization practices and prayers.
I do not think that fears about possession are any reason not to practice yoga. And they are no reason not to practice forms of yoga directed specifically at kundalini awakening. If our yoga is practiced safely, then the dangers are minimal. The dangers of not practicing yoga are immense (like- a lifetime in darkness or more!).
Things can go wrong for people during the kundalini awakening stage, as you have read on other websites, but, as Weaver said, Yogani has put in some very clear directives in the lessons on this website, to show how to avoid any potential problems, and if they are followed clearly, they work.
Class A's (Like LSD) can open us up to beings from the spirit-world, so it is not at all improbable that your drug experience was related to the presence of an entity. Once a dark entity has formed a link with your aura, it can hang around for a long time. You would tend to get bad dreams, and be scared to turn the light off when you are on your own. As you have noticed, they don't like lights. Even candles can keep them at bay.
There are two protection prayers on this website, for helping protect against attack:
http://kundalini-support.com/protect.html
Wolfgang posted the above link on this forum topic:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=1700
You will notice on the website that the author thinks that possession is only a danger during a kundalini awakening process if the process is drawn out and difficult, producing trauma and fear. I would generally agree with this as demons are attracted to fear. Peoples experiences here, practicing AYP, are usually far from traumatic or fearful. In fact, a healthy and well managed kundalini awakening, generally leads to an abundance of bliss and divine love in the practitioner, the sort of stuff that attracts the presence of angels (and other, higher beings). And this is just the beginning....
There is a lot of stuff on the web about possession and the dangers of kundalini, and not a lot of stuff about how incredible kundalini awakening is (or rather, can be, if we manage our spiritual practices wisely). Things are a bit out of balance in this respect on the internet, and it would be good to see more stuff about successful kundalini awakenings.
I would now happily walk into a room full of demons, and not be concerned.
I hope this is of some help.
If your problems persist, and you feel it would help, I would happily tell you how I exorcise demons.
Love and Light
Christi.
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VIL
USA
586 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2006 : 6:06:51 PM
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There are no such thing as demons, dark entities, and the like, and the common fear following a Kundalini awakening, stirred from the muladhara chakra [root chakra], is called the "fight of flight" response, or panic, a panic attack, anxiety attack, whatever. If you've ever experienced a full-blown panic attack, you'll know what I'm talking about. The terror from a seemingly unknown source. That's the 'demon'. That's the stuff associated with the loss of ego, and also stored childhood trauma associated with this area:
The things that go bump in the night.
Monsters under the bed.
Demons in the closet.
The cognitive thinking of a child, although to the child - very real.
Christ said to Peter, "Get behind me Satan!". Now, do you think that he thought that Peter was literally a demon? No. Peter was a metaphor for the ego. If you remember, Peter was telling Jesus that he needn't be sacrificed. Yes, the ego need be - which includes attachment to an overactive imagination and false belief systems.
VIL |
Edited by - VIL on Dec 18 2006 6:20:22 PM |
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insideout
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2006 : 6:16:39 PM
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quote:
Hi insideout :) and welcome to the AYP forum... I have also find that thoughts that may be bothering usually go away a bit into the meditation. Yes, I would say that negative thoughts or feelings will clear out over time as there is more inner silence.
Thanks for the welcome weaver, I am privileged to interact with all of you "spiritual giants."
When I'm about 10 minutes into deep meditation I can turn off the light and feel completely at peace. As you said, this haunting sensation will clear out in due course.
quote:
I will never give up meditation unless my intuition suggests it.
Same here. No matter what kind of tricks my mind may play, I sense something deep and beneficial is going on during mediation, and I like how it is affecting my daily life after only 1 month.
Christi, I'm not going to quote you because you've brought up so many good points, your whole post would be duplicated . Thank you very much for all the information and suggestions you provided, you are very reassuring. I thought I might start twisting my head until I face my behind and puke up pea soup  .
If the threat is real, and not in my mind like the after-effects of watching a horror movie, I now see that it is empowered or weakened by my reaction to it. If it wants fear, I'll send it love and joy and send it on its way.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and good-will.
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insideout
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2006 : 8:47:56 PM
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quote:
There are no such thing as demons, dark entities, and the like, and the common fear following a Kundalini awakening, stirred from the muladhara chakra [root chakra], is called the "fight of flight" response, or panic, a panic attack, anxiety attack, whatever... The cognitive thinking of a child...
Hi VIL, that makes a lot of sense. Especially since if feels like the childish "monster under the bed" type fear. |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2006 : 6:52:59 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by insideout
Hello,
Reading through some of your "enlightenment milestones" I got interested in researching more about kundalini awakening and I happened upon this site. It basically recounts stories of premature kundalini awakenings, think Gopi Krishna, but it also talks about possession and such. The conclusion of the site is any direct spiritual work, i.e. purifying your nervous system directly, is dangerous and should be abandoned. The way to enlightenment is through good works, aka "bhakti yoga."
Now I regret reading these stories because they brought up an old trip of mine (yes LSD ) where a dark presence seemed to be nagging me . Now this same feeling is recurring when I meditate. My patch up solution has been to meditate with the light on, yes a full-spectrum, energy-saving light bulb does drive away daemons . I also notice that about half way through my mediation these silly thoughts are gone and I feel just fine.
This will probably clear up on its own right? Any exorcists posting here?
Hi Insideout and a warm welcome to AYP,
The thoughts you are having about dark entities are simply just thoughts. Thoughts lead to emotional reactions which are completely normal. Treat any thought that comes up the same way, by going back to the mantra when you realize that you are off of it. Meditation is bringing the light of awareness into your mind and thoughts, any negativity won't last long through this!
quote:
If the threat is real, and not in my mind like the after-effects of watching a horror movie, I now see that it is empowered or weakened by my reaction to it. If it wants fear, I'll send it love and joy and send it on its way.
This sounds like excellent advice to me!
All the best,
A
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yoginstar
Netherlands
78 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2006 : 7:27:18 PM
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Hi all,
I beg to disagree... I used to think that, that dark forces are just thoughts, or projections from ourselves. But no longer. I can fairly safely say that I have been in situations where I could have done with an excorsist However, Insideout, after having read the AYP lessons, I understood that I had done (experienced) about everything wrong that could be wrong. I.e. Kundalini going out of the crown the very first time, no training, and no spinal breathing to get it down, (my clumsy words). You will read the further lessons on Kundalini and will find out the tools for managing all of it safely, the proper way. From the depths of my being I feel/know/see that it is entirely exactly as stated by Yogani in these lessons. Because of these lessons I now understand the workings of it. That said, I am reading Secrets of Wilder and have some interesting questions going on in my mind. But wow, I have been sooooo busy off late, and I hardly expect to be any less busy in the foreseeable future, so I am just jumping in here quickly, having discovered the"Active Topic " button, or discovered, it was mentioned last week or so
QUESTION FOR YOGANI: I added a picture on the dutch lesson number 33......... http://www.odysseyofthesoul.de/AYP/033.htm about halfway down... let me know if you wish me to remove it
All the best! |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2006 : 8:23:52 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by yoginstar
Hi all,
I beg to disagree... I used to think that, that dark forces are just thoughts, or projections from ourselves. But no longer. I can fairly safely say that I have been in situations where I could have done with an excorsist However, Insideout, after having read the AYP lessons, I understood that I had done (experienced) about everything wrong that could be wrong. I.e. Kundalini going out of the crown the very first time, no training, and no spinal breathing to get it down, (my clumsy words). You will read the further lessons on Kundalini and will find out the tools for managing all of it safely, the proper way. From the depths of my being I feel/know/see that it is entirely exactly as stated by Yogani in these lessons. Because of these lessons I now understand the workings of it.
Hi Yoginstar,
Always feel free to disagree, that is what open discussions and this forum is all about, the exploration of yoga in all its different manifestations. There is a distinction between what you addressed and what I wrote above that you may not have noticed. I mentioned that thoughts about dark entities are simply just thoughts. So as long as Insideout is just thinking thoughts about dark entities, they should be treated like any other thoughts that come up in meditation, by going back to the mantra.
This is all true of course until some tall guy dressed in black plastic, with a cape, a red light-sabre and sounds a little like James Earl Jones taps you on the shoulder, at which point I think it's perfectly fine to run screaming from the room!
all the best,
A
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yogani
USA
5241 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2006 : 8:36:53 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by yoginstar
QUESTION FOR YOGANI: I added a picture on the dutch lesson number 33......... http://www.odysseyofthesoul.de/AYP/033.htm about halfway down... let me know if you wish me to remove it
All the best!
Hi Yoginstar:
Not able to read Dutch, so not sure what the context of the photo is. I don't think Sri Yukteswar is mentioned in that lesson. We certainly don't want to imply that full lotus (padmasana) is a prerequisite, or goal, for AYP sitting practices. It is a lesson on simple cross-legged sitting. Later on we offer siddhasana. Padmasana is not instructed in AYP.
So, unless you have a good reason, it probably doesn't belong there. Maybe in a lesson where Sri Yukteswar or padmasana is mentioned, if you like. It would be appreciated that if you add anything like that to include a note such as, "photo added by translator," or something similar, so folks won't get confused about what is in the original lessons.
I see you are up to lesson 42 already. Not bad!
Many thanks, and all the best!
The guru is in you.
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Athma_Shakti
India
81 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2006 : 03:37:11 AM
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everyone knows that our creation exists in duality.
so there are positive and negative entities exist. but its only our mind we are differentiating positive and negative. for God its only pure idea of creation.
positive thoughts and good deeds attracts good peoples and vice versa.
but there is nothing to be afraid, anyone practicing Yoga even the beginners will not be harmed by anyone. God is the supreme power always with us for our protection. put your mind on God when you practice Yoga.
i want to mention here, when practicing any type of Yoga try to be more relaxed and do some prayers whatever God or religion you may like before you start Yoga practices. we no need to fear for anything, everything around us is God only. just we have to do mutual respect for everything around us for its existence. mutual respect in the sense the distance between each other which helps us to coexist. the distance between atoms which makes material things.
everything around us is only pure light of God.
---
good post from Christi. lots of indepth meaning involved in it. but Christi don't teach everyone to become exorcist, that is not our job 
just kidding
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Fran
United Kingdom
20 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2007 : 10:05:06 AM
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Hi,
I thought I'd just share something in relation to an experience I had that felt like an entity attacking me. I was in the midst of kundalini awakening, although I didn't realise it at the time. I'd taken a small number of mushrooms and was doing meditation, shamanic journeying and tantric sex for a weekend with my boyfriend in a friend of his cottage in the countryside. One night I woke up screaming as a crazy woman had just stabbed me in the solar plexus. The same night my boyfriend saw a crazy woman. I later found out it was the same room someone had suffered from bad mental health problems.
One of the symptoms I'm left with is a pain in my solar plexus and jolting as energy hits a block there.
Any insight in to this would be appreciated (christi?). I don't feel that she is there still in some way attached to me (I hope not anyway!), more that there is a psychic wound there that seems deep and resistant to healing. May not be related to that, or may be just part of it, I don't know, this has caused me fear and anxiety in the past, yet I'm much more relaxed about it now thank goodness. Before this I didn't really believe in this kind of thing, but the experience felt very real,
Fran |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4513 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2007 : 12:40:35 PM
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Hi Fran
Thanks for sharing. Sounds like a great weekend. I never seem to find time for those Shamanic journey/ Psychadelics/ Tantric sex/ Kundalini awakening weekends away these days. I must get a life again.
Funny that you should post this now. I met a woman today who asked me to help her exorcise a dark entity that is following her around. I am going to try and do it tomorrow.
As for your experience, I don't think I can help much. It could be any of a number of things. Like:
1. It could have just been a bad dream, and your mind created the pain in your solar plexus which is still felt.
2. You could have had a kundalini experience whilst asleep, brought on by the mushrooms/ tantra/ meditation etc. which hit a block in your solar plexus. Then your mind (in dream state) creates the story about the crazy lady etc....
3. There could have been a crazy lady who used to live in the room. Her mental state could have left thought formations in the astral realm. You picked up on these thought formations and your mind created the rest. Thought formations like this are common in the astral realms. They are not entities in their own right, in other words they do not possess consciousness, but they do have a kind of form, and momentum, and will, which they were infused with at the time they are created. We all create formations like this in the astral planes with our thoughts, especially if we use strong emotions with them. This is how Magic works (Wicca).
4. The crazy lady could have died in the room, or died somewhere else and returned to the room, and her spirit/ ghost could have attacked you through your solar plexus chakra. Spirits often use chakras to attack humans, as they work as entry points into the etheric body.
Given that your boyfriend also saw the woman, it sounds like it is most likely option 3 or 4.
I don't know what to advise, other than what I wrote in my post above.
quote:
I don't feel that she is there still in some way attached to me (I hope not anyway!), more that there is a psychic wound there that seems deep and resistant to healing. May not be related to that, or may be just part of it, I don't know, this has caused me fear and anxiety in the past, yet I'm much more relaxed about it now thank goodness.
If nothing is attached to your aura, then you don't need an exorcist You can repair chakras by breathing into them (breathe in and imagine your breath going in through your third eye and into your solar plexus chakra). Although AYP spinal breathing does a pretty good job of sorting out all our chakras. Using AYP spinal breathing means that the chakras get repaired and opened automatically in the right order, so there is less chance of messing things up (like ending up with an overactive solar plexus chakra).
If you do feel like something is attached to you and is bugging you, especially if it has a kind of dark feel to it that doesn't let you sleep easy, then that is another matter....
Hope this helps.
Christi
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Christi
United Kingdom
4513 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2007 : 12:47:59 PM
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Hi Fran,
P.s. Welcome to the forum |
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Fran
United Kingdom
20 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2007 : 03:51:05 AM
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Hi Christi, thanks for the long reply (has helped me to get clearer)- yeah I don't have time for weekends like that anymore! It was during time of being unwell and spending time like that as part of the 'healing journey'... I didn't realise it was kundalini related at the time though. I think it feels most like it was option 4 you mention above. Also there is a possibility there is still something there, as I do feel something quite strong pulling on my third chakra (I like to see it as more of a wound, but I'm not really sure), as I also do have nightmares sometimes and it can play up a bit as I'm trying to sleep (thankfully I've found ways of sinking in to sleep nonetheless). I used to have dreams about being raped by an evil spirit, although I don't anymore, however, that seemed to happen when I was giving away my power in a situation so may have nothing to do with entity type thing.
Do you thing to get rid of it I would need to see a specialist in this field if there is something there? I just doubt it's something I can heal in breathing techniques mentioned as I've tried loads before like that (yet in quite an enforced way in the past- maybe if I take a gentler approach),
Many thanks,
Fran |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4513 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2007 : 12:49:06 PM
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Hi Fran,
quote:
Do you think to get rid of it I would need to see a specialist in this field if there is something there? I just doubt it's something I can heal in breathing techniques mentioned as I've tried loads before like that (yet in quite an enforced way in the past- maybe if I take a gentler approach),
Basically... yes. If you feel there is something there then a specialist could help. Yogani mentions this in the main lessons, where he says that if you have a particularly bad energy blockage that you just can't shift, then seeing a healer of some sort could be useful. He doesn't mention psychic attack though, although he does talk about lesser and greater invisible beings in the little green book on Pranayama.
Finding someone could be harder though, unless you move in those sorts of groups (where every second person you know is a Reiki Master/ Exorcist). I don't think you can pick up the phone book and look up Exorcist under E. The best your local payer will offer is probably someone offering Psychic readings... not quite the same thing. Could try the internet? The next problem of course is do they know what they are doing? I don't think there is any such thing as a qualification in Exorcism or Space clearing or anything like that. In any case, the most amazing people I have ever met, whether they are psychics, or yogis, or enlightened beings, always seem to have no qualifications at all, or at least no relevant qualifications in the thing they do best. So... it's like that... kind of muddy waters. But there are some great psychics out there, even in the U.K., so good luck tracking one down.
Another option is prayer This is the one I always use if I have any trouble with anything dark. You pray to God. You can ask the divine for help. The more sincere you are, the more open you are, the more silent and focused your mind is during the prayer, the stronger the channel that is built up between you and the divine. Eventually, God starts to intervene in your life. He sends angels to help you ect. ect.
The problem with prayer is, it doesn't work unless you believe in the person you are praying to, and you have to believe a lot, and pray a lot before you get any kind of confirmation of the existence of the thing that you have been believing (blindly) in. But despite its inherent problems I still believe that prayer is the best option in the long term. It means that we can be attacked by some dark entity, open the channel to God, call on him for assistance, and within minutes there is an angel at our shoulder and all the darkness has been dispelled. No need to go out searching for Psychics with powers of exorcism. Oh, yea... and prayer has no limits in terms of our spiritual evolution. None at all. I believe that there are many Christian monastics whose only practice is prayer. No asanas, no pranayama, no mantra meditation, no samyama. So it's a good tool to have in your spiritual toolkit.
Hope this helps,
Christi
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Wolfgang
Germany
470 Posts |
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Fran
United Kingdom
20 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2007 : 11:47:34 AM
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Hi Christi,
thanks for the insights on prayer- I have been using it a little. Even just connecting to that higher consciousness, God, whatever you call it, inside, outside, nowhere... Is healing, and helps one to accept what is, yes pray for healing and resolution, but actually even if there is some entity attachment, it doesn't effect me so bad generally (generally am very good).. So no point in making a big fear story out of it. Maybe will track down an exorcist some time... I see you do it? Where are you in the UK? (I'm in sheffield, but do travel around a bit)...
Fran |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4513 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2007 : 12:23:16 AM
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Hi Fran,
quote:
Maybe will track down an exorcist some time... I see you do it? Where are you in the UK? (I'm in sheffield, but do travel around a bit)...
I occasionally try to do it (no guarantees). If someone is having a problem that they can't shift, and noone else can help, then I will give it a go.
Unfortunately I am living on a beach in South India at the moment, so I'm not that close to Shffield . I forgot to update my profile. I do come to Sheffield occassionally though as I have family there, so if I am heading your way I will drop you an email.
Love and light
Christi |
Edited by - Christi on Feb 03 2007 12:28:24 AM |
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Fran
United Kingdom
20 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2007 : 06:47:09 AM
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Just thought I'd say Christi- do drop me an email if and when you are in Sheffield anyway- it's be interesting to meet you! In the meantime enjoy being on a beach in south India
love Fran |
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Doc
USA
394 Posts |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4513 Posts |
Posted - Mar 19 2007 : 05:56:21 AM
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Hi Fran,
quote:
Just thought I'd say Christi- do drop me an email if and when you are in Sheffield anyway- it's be interesting to meet you! In the meantime enjoy being on a beach in south India
love Fran
Will do. Only it could be a while... India is growing on me, or rather, it is growing in me, I'm not sure which!
The energy of this country is amazing.
I hope you managed to sort your energy problems out.
Christi |
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mariamaria
United Kingdom
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2013 : 3:05:27 PM
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Hi..
Do my best to explain a complex situation..
I came across your website, when looking up kundalini/possession..
5 years ago, I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening.. and it was powerful.. was sat at the computer and this, what can only describe as like a water snake motion of water, coming up through my feet, chakras, cleaning them all out.. and then my crown and poured out like water fall and was sat in a big halo of vibrating light..
I didn't know what kundalini was then, nor until long after.. I just know I was sat at the computer, sending love comments/notes to friends, and the energy intensified and suddenly I could feel the love behind the comments being sent to me.. and then the awakening..
For weeks, I was sat in bliss, and on my social networks, went crazy having fun and being silly.. posting child hood games etc.. and reminissing.. felt a state of infinity.. etc..
.. because I was on social networks could see that other people in spiritual circles had been affected at this point to, as a lot of people were talking like they were feeling this infinity feeling, and blissful.. am not sure what happened, but am trying to get to the bottom of it.. as things turned highly unpleasant for me, and right now, as I write, I feel not human anymore, but like an alien as taken over my body.. I don't hear my voice in my head anymore as a human .. like when I type, I usually hear my own voice, now I hear it as high pitched alien computerised sound..
...and feel like have become like some kind of machine..like I am dead, and something is animating me.. and I don't know where I am with anything anymore and feel like am on the outside of reality and the world rather than in it.. and I want to rewind 5 years before having this.. and stay where I was..
.. so onto the nitemare.. not long after the kundalini awakening, a lady added me on myspace, her eyes were full of light, and I don't usually check peoples pages, but she was inticing me to look, so I did.. on her page, she had 2 songs, rain by Madonna and *I remember* (feeling the past moving in, letting a ne day begin).. I found it strange how she had added all my top friends only, but there was this guy that wasn't on my friends, whom had seen once on top friends of another spiritual page..
I felt inclined this time to click on his page, and he also had a song on there called REMEMBER ME..
.. went to his pictures and there was one of him looking like Jesus, with this red towel around him.. similar to the picture I had been using on my Animals Rights in Spiritualism page..(a page dedicated to animals and outreach.. in reference to Vegetarian Christianity,, Busshism etc..
For me, he was doing this because he wanted to get my attention.. other pictures of him was one with a sacred heart, and one coming down from the sky like Jesus.. and because at the time I was getting a lot of synchronicities in reference to Maria Magdalena.. and felt I recognised him, as myself.. Twin Flame perhaps, I got emotional, ran to the local Saint Marys.. and as I did, it started Raining vastly (the song rain was still playing.. ).. and thunder and lightning.. was all what I felt romantic..
On returning home, I delved deeper into his information, and found a video on youtube, that said *come with me* and was in reference to running away together.. I felt it was aimed at me, especially since when I then ordered his book, and then he wrote something about *listening well* on his update.. and then would reference to going places and so forth, using my name.. so as to let me know the updates were for me.. and from then on, I would listen to these updates and allow him to guide me, I felt he was doing so, as my Twin Flame..
.. sometime then in to following these updates, one of them said *whatever door needs to be opened, this moment holds the key to it*.. It was my friends birthday at the time, and as he said that, I felt inclined to go to her page and leave a birthday comment.. it was then, that I noted her page ID was 666, and as I noted it, was as if a bolt had hit me.. and he knew I was to go to that page, or something coded inside me and him that linked those 2 together.. and subsequently more dark synchronicities to follow..
.. The darkest being mauled by a load of flies that came out of nowhere in my back place, engulfed me, and as a vegan, I won't kill anything, but there were so many I had to.. the last one to be killed landed on the Gate-Way laptop a friend Casey had given me from America, to do vegan outreach, and was as if the fly was leading me to a gate-way..
.. I then realised I had previously done a campaign called Gateway to hell.. ref monkeys... and frightened myself with it.. and then , peraps a day or so after, as uploading a video to my charity / animal magazine website for the BORN FREE foundations anniversary, which just so happened to be on page 666 of my magazine pages.. , as the music was playing, *Born free, as free as the wind*, this most evil gust of wind blew through me.. as if it was an evil spirit of the wind.. and it was saying it was being born free THROUGH ME.. like using my body..
.. I had then gone onto this guys page had been following, and he had then uploaded a picture of him looking like the devil with a note under that said NAMASTE! which means *we are now one*.. I wondered , is this 2 coincidences of darkness between us? or has he somehow set this up and how? or do I even need to know how? is it something to do with DNA activation.. what?
.. .. because the experience was so scary, I took myself to the doctors, and when I told them I thought I was involved with the anti Christ or satan, they diagnosed me with psychizophrenia.. and sent me to a Dr Horn.. (also set up?).. whom wanted me sectioning..
.. I managed to escape.. and continued my life, ignoring what had happened as a means to live and carry on.. I kept on doing what had been doing since having my awakening, which was at first promoting this guys book!!! (without him asking, I just felt inclined to promote him because felt he was my Twin and all).. and posting bulletins out saying he was Jesus.. .. and he never once emailed me to stay stop.. just let me make a fool out of myself?
.. I then realised that the whole of reality was always mirroring everything I did , think etc.. and that my gift was weaving webs to show the interconnectedness of all beings, and that were one energy.. however, wasn''t just a few connections, manifested reality seemed to always link back to me.. for instance the front covers of major newspapers, articles were always coming from my current posts or thoughts.. , every time I step downstairs, my mother would turn the tv over, and the programme would always reflect my current posts, so I would take pictures, and link it all together in webs.. peoples conversations, animals.. they all moved around according to my word/thoughts as would people outside, in the street and I began to feel like I was a puppeteer
.. however, am concerned now, is something creating it from my being in such hugeness.. that it could be something using me to deceive.. and cause delusions, and am not sure whats real and whats not anymore, and have turned to local vicars for comfort.. as am just spending everyday in bed just existing, and not wanting to live anymore. I have spent the last 5 years literally creating , creating and creating and writing , writing , writing to show how all beings are interconnect and been totally ignored by everyone including family which has also sent me a bit crazy,
.. also the fact all my chid hood trauma, dark spirits around me at the time.. energy, whatever U want to call it, and my fears , which = I have a problem with a specific part of my body.. no confidence wit, partly due to sexual abuse as a teen, also to do with society etc.. and it's caused me a lot of mental health issues, as would not allow any past boyfriends to touch me in this place.. and so felt quite imprisoned..
This guy, whom spoke of previous.. was writing things on social network etc, so as to make me believe he was supporting me and helping me heal, and I would weave to do so.. and as means to, but as a result, the whole of my friends list, as this kundalini *dance* began.. got to hear about it..
.. Am at the stage now, were I am meeting people with demon tattoos all over them, telling me about dreams their having, some being trying to drag them into fire.. and then I would meet someone straight after and they would be drawing a door with fire behind or something.. everyone would link back to me .. and when I then try to explain to my mother this, what happens, I go downstairs and the tv is turned on, say then to a door with fire behind.. (just an example).. this happens all day everyday with me.. and I can't escape it.. and have mentally had enough.
I do have ghosts from child hood, my father was an alcoholic, an abusive one, and I had chronic nitemares, and out of body experienes as a child.. and these, what I call ticklers around me.. (if I think of them, people around me then start talking tickling each other, so I try not to think)..
This guy in my life, is now trying to make me out to be the little horn of the bible..to get to me.. (as I write that, a vehicle goes past blowing it's horn over and over, and this, also I can't get away from, everything around me copying me.. I , out of 99 people left a message with for help, managed to get one guy to help, a hypnotist, and his spiritual partner, whom in their house, when I told them I couldn't get away from horns, said their car number plate was horn and then the horn blowers started playing out side their house, they did also bless the house, incase I had brought anything in.. but on the way out, tripped over the front step, and said they never blessed that bit..)
... and being in control of me, I have felt like that, and is the reason have sent him hate mail for the last 5 years.. because he would only talk over facebook.. and also once got this girl to write that she was *copying IT* (he calls me IT).. and got her to do some things over the internet to hurt me..
.. many people have led me to believe I am a manifestiation of the dark goddess (kali etc) .. and my creative abilities, would assume that.. however, I can not shut out this dark force that blew through me, the 6's and living a life having such an attachment mentally, to this guy I have never met, whom won't speak to me via email, only social network. etc.. and yet, has a website about our reunion and the fact hes planted some kind of star code in my womb????????
.. hence, have been looking at seeing a geneticist, as seems to be something to do with origins.. aswell as a potential excorsist, an expert in kundalini, as since my huge awakening, had no help with that, just went for it and started to dance, well this thing did , through me, someone whom can pick up what is situated inside me , going on inside me.. if it's dark energy am using to manifest the world.. if there's aliens taken me over, if I am still human.. what.. and why everything around me is so dark and evil like.. (my brother moved to somewhere called burn, and then bell.. and has just gone on holiday to pathos.. as in path to somewhere not nice.. ).. and my brother and sister go to burn side.
.. I can't even sit down and do a cross word with a friend, I did so yesterday, and I ended up writing words.. that I then see after link back to the devil.. I bought 3 cages the other day, bird type cages you put candles in, and then on the tv comes a show with a girl dressed in bird cages and with one in the background look exactaly the same.. and then something took me to a page reference Lilith and cages .. I can't remember, but something not right is going on.. and I need some professional assistance..
.. any help/advice, greatly appreciated..
to note, I do often have electricity up my spine, etc.. and holy prana breathiness.. however it changes from moment to moment.. and right now I just feel like a machine.. my hands and arms also often look like they are evil , like clawed and unreal.. like am some kind of animated corpse.. it varies.. I do feel, if I look at pictures of skeletons or the devil skulls, that that's a mirror of the energy inside me.. or whats embodied in me, and scared the living light out of me.. is also scarying me because whatever it is, stops me from showing fear.. makes me still feel peace at the same time as feeling terrified, and not able to show anyone around that fear, to get the right help.
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mariamaria
United Kingdom
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2013 : 3:15:47 PM
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| to add.. after the kundalini awakening, did give up smoking and drinking on the spot.. (however, current circumstances may lead me to going back.. trying to be humorous) [img]icon_heart.gif[/img] |
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mariamaria
United Kingdom
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2013 : 3:18:30 PM
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| also in reference to the born free episode.. I recently found out the masonic motto is born free.. and wondered what, if anything they could have to do with this.. rituals, magic and so forth.. I am clueless with all of that.. |
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Kundalini/Possession Fear
