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Piruz
United Kingdom
73 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 02 2019 : 10:05:21 PM
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I will try to make this brief summery of my journey as comprehensive as possible.
I started my mindfulness practice around 2 years ago. To me it was all about self-mastery (overcoming fear and/or other traumas). I remember how the first time I did it correctly and was able to induce a meditative state (lotus position), my heart would start to race all of a sudden and a feeling of imminent departure would overwhelm me. The rotating movement in the head (going upwards) was particularly strong and frightening, and yet so exciting that, ever since then, I would spend the next months of my practice trying to actively induce those very same symptoms through vigorous and conscious breathing.
Slowly, however, I began to develop a deeper understanding of meditation and how becoming attached to certain "symptoms" was a hindrance to (rather than an indicator of) overall progress. It became clear that those "experiences", good or bad, were transient (how can they not be when there are so many of them?). Nonetheless, and even without being invited, I could still feel them come and go, without corrupting or hindering my overall practice.
This isn't to say all that was easy. For the first months of my practice, and every time I would take a break from meditation and then come back to it weeks or months later, I would feel side-effects like anxiety, old fears resurfacing and an overall low mood. I am told this is a natural outcome of the brain trying to adjust itself to new activity levels, and the theory makes sense to me because, for the past year at least, I would feel more optimistic and balanced upon returning to meditation (after a brief period of adjustment). Even problems like inability to sleep due to a distracted and overactive brain began to subside as I actively learned how to clear my mind before going to sleep.
But as time went by the practice reached new levels. I don't know where to start, but let's just say that there were now more things going on during meditation than usual. The spot between the eyebrows (or the crown of the head, or both) would now vibrate, sometimes violently, the spine would straighten itself out so aggressively that, all of a sudden, it feels like a current of electricity is passing through, and there would be an overall feeling of energy/vibration all throughout the body. Something has changed (or should I say, something has been awoken).
To me this was an indicator of new heights. Meditation had just become more exciting. But I knew I'd gotten more than I'd bargained for when, upon closing my eyes and trying meditate myself to sleep as usual (it's how I've been sleeping for the past years), I would sometimes "drift" into the "wrong turn" (somewhere between sleep and wakefulness?) and induce a shock so frightful that I would immediately get up and then try to get myself back to sleep (properly this time). This had happened before, and it wasn't altogether new to me, but it was becoming more frequent. Still, I was able to function.
But things reached new levels when, two weeks ago, I was trying to sleep and could suddenly feel the energy (or something else, I don't know) "moving" from place to place before settling somewhere and causing a shock that would keep me up at night ever since then. It's become so terrible that I can't sleep unless my brain is somehow distracted lest it falls into a meditative state. The very thing that usually puts me to sleep is now keeping me up.
And it's not just wakefulness that's the problem but physical pain as well, because every time the "energy" travels throughout the body and (for some reason) reaches a stumbling block at some physical point, it causes sheer nerve pain or what I would more accurately describe as "localized" fear in part of the body. The pain alternates between the left and right side of my body, but my left leg usually hurts the most.
This is the case even though I've stopped meditating for 4 days now and plan on taking a long break to allow my brain to heal from this trauma. I even tried doing more sports (cardio) and eating lots of food to shift the energy flow to other parts/organs of my body, but improvement has been slow and non-linear.
All these symptoms have lead me to one conclusion; Kundalini!
What have I been doing? How do I stop doing it and if any damage has already been done then how do I undo it? I need to sleep! |
Edited by - Piruz on Apr 06 2019 11:53:31 AM |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2019 : 02:52:29 AM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2019 : 03:20:08 AM
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Hello Piruz
Sorry to hear about your problems. You have done well to stop the practice you were doing. It sounds like you have been working on the crown and you're now experiencing the discomfort of a premature crown opening.
Where did you learn the meditation technique you have used and what does it consist of? Did the technique led you to focus on the crown or did you do it inadvertently? Either way, you seem to have been stimulating the crown chakra systematically, with breathing, not just with awareness.
quote:
Originally posted by Piruz
The rotating movement in the head (going upwards) was particularly strong and frightening, and yet so exciting that, ever since then, I would spend the next months of my practice trying to actively induce those very same symptoms through vigorous and conscious breathing.
[...]
The spot between the eyebrows (or the crown of the head, or both) would now vibrate, sometimes violently...
Yes, it is kundalini rising to the crown before the preparatory work has been done.
You will have to stay away from all spiritual practices till all this settle down. The advice is to ground - long walks and moderate physical activity, mixing with the world/socialising etc. Do a search for "grounding" on this website and you will find more information.
It's good to keep fit, but bear in mind that intense physical activity will stimulate the energy. A lot of cardio and getting out of breath can have that effect. You need to find a way to work out in a more controlled manner. A heavier diet can help too.
You will need to be patient. It can take a while before the symptoms settle down. You will find out through experimenting what grounding methods help you most.
Good luck! |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Apr 06 2019 1:14:59 PM |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2019 : 8:02:40 PM
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Separate your meditation practice from sleep, for meditation activates energy and interferes with sleep, as you have discovered. Also, after returning to meditation from your "grounding sabbatical", do not place attention on your crown, instead place it on the third eye.
From lesson 199:
quote:
We can touch the crown with attention for short periods in this way when ecstatic conductivity is awakened, because we have also awakened the third eye. Having the sushumna awakened between the third eye and root gives us a stability we did not have before, and a natural inner energy balance that can be stimulated at any time simply by letting go into the conductivity occurring between the third eye and the root. This is the power of a third eye awakening. There is little that can destabilize it once ecstatic conductivity comes up in the third eye to root spinal nerve. That is why the third eye (ajna) means "command." With ecstatic conductivity rising in the sushumna between the third eye and root, we are in command of the kundalini process, and having a very good ecstatic time with it too.
As mentioned, this does not mean we can go all out in the crown. Even a small mess we make at the crown will not be fun, so why do it? Some have asked, "Why can't I just shift my spinal breathing from the third eye to root to the crown to root?" Two reasons: First it curtails the continuing activation of the third eye to root awakening. Second, it shifts the emphasis of attention to the crown, which will increase instability in the energy flows. So don't shift your spinal breathing to the crown. It will not be stable, even for advanced yogis and yoginis. Just keep going with third eye to root spinal breathing, deep meditation and all the rest that has been given, and all the openings will continue to progress rapidly and smoothly, including at the crown.
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Piruz
United Kingdom
73 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2019 : 5:33:03 PM
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Thank you very much for your reply. I'm happy to know there are people who can address my problem.
Yes, I have been focusing on the crown/forehead for the past 4 or 5 months (3 to 4 days a week, one hour a day), but only because the vibrations therein come about eventually (and naturally) anyway, especially when I'm in a deep meditative state (well actually sometimes it's the first thing I feel). It may be the case that I have in the past months overdone the part where I focus on the point between the eyebrows and draw the energy up to the crown (it did feel exciting, after all), as I tend to overdo so many things in my life. For example, the "meditative state" is how I usually fall asleep, which means I have been actively summoning energy to the crown of the head almost everyday without knowing it!
Which brings me to my point. The lessons you referred me to over here speak of Shakti at the base of the spine trying to achieve union with Shiva at the top of the head (a metaphor for some sort of psycho-neural process, I assume). I understand the process, when overdone, can result in what you call a premature crown opening due to lack of adequate preparation (hence all the Kundalini problems). The lessons encourage "spinal breathing" to "get Shiva off his butt and do something to meet Shakti wherever she may be in the body, and not just the crown of the head, instead of letting Shakti's energy act alone and burn through everything it meets in the nervous system before making it up to the crown where Shiva is seated".
Now I've read up on this spinal breathing and I don't know if it can solve my problem. I mean I can't close my eyes without inviting this so-called Shakti energy, which immediately builds up in my pubic area and then, depending on my sleeping position, terminates at some point of the body and produces a shock that hurts my body and puts my nervous system on alert. How am I supposed to do spinal breathing without inviting the same energy from which I'm supposed to give my nervous system a rest?
Is it the case that this energy has already gained some sort of momentum and therefore needs some sort of release (even if not through meditation)? Are long walks and a heavy diet enough?
Also how long before I recover and am able to sleep? Weeks? |
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Piruz
United Kingdom
73 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2019 : 5:49:03 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy
Separate your meditation practice from sleep, for meditation activates energy and interferes with sleep, as you have discovered. Also, after returning to meditation from your "grounding sabbatical", do not place attention on your crown, instead place it on the third eye.
From lesson 199:
quote:
We can touch the crown with attention for short periods in this way when ecstatic conductivity is awakened, because we have also awakened the third eye. Having the sushumna awakened between the third eye and root gives us a stability we did not have before, and a natural inner energy balance that can be stimulated at any time simply by letting go into the conductivity occurring between the third eye and the root. This is the power of a third eye awakening. There is little that can destabilize it once ecstatic conductivity comes up in the third eye to root spinal nerve. That is why the third eye (ajna) means "command." With ecstatic conductivity rising in the sushumna between the third eye and root, we are in command of the kundalini process, and having a very good ecstatic time with it too.
As mentioned, this does not mean we can go all out in the crown. Even a small mess we make at the crown will not be fun, so why do it? Some have asked, "Why can't I just shift my spinal breathing from the third eye to root to the crown to root?" Two reasons: First it curtails the continuing activation of the third eye to root awakening. Second, it shifts the emphasis of attention to the crown, which will increase instability in the energy flows. So don't shift your spinal breathing to the crown. It will not be stable, even for advanced yogis and yoginis. Just keep going with third eye to root spinal breathing, deep meditation and all the rest that has been given, and all the openings will continue to progress rapidly and smoothly, including at the crown.
Well most of the vibrations I felt were between the eyebrows (third eye) but there were strong vibrations t the crown as well. Besides they (not unusually) come together and it can be difficult to stop the flow of energy. I simply lack the education.
Also please do tell me how I can separate meditation from sleep? I think my brain has literally forgot how to sleep without focusing on he breath and inviting some sort of meditation. |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2019 : 8:42:12 PM
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I too get blissful sensations when eyes are closed most nights as I drift off to sleep. I am unsure specifically which meditation you are doing (I use one of the AYP mantras) and I would never use the mantra when drifting off to sleep, or try to place too much attention on these blissful sensations as attention can amp them up. Mainly I observe and surrender consciousness, imagining melting into sleep, and that usually does the trick for me after five or so minutes.
If you are doing breath meditation, observing your breath too rigidly might encourage energy amplification. Practice surrendering attachment to this energy and to your consciousness. One way might be scanning your body slowly from your feet upward, for instance: "my feet are rested, I rest my feet; my ankles are rested, I rest my ankles..." Allow yourself to surrender attention to each body part as you go, dissolving into the process. See if that helps. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2019 : 1:14:15 PM
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In cases of premature crown opening, the recommendation is to stop all yoga practices till things settle down.
quote:
Originally posted by Piruz
Are long walks and a heavy diet enough?
Engage with the world. Forget about meditation and spirituality for a while. Small things, added up together can have a great effect. Avoid spicy food, avoid very hot showers or baths. You might find that a cool shower can help (but don't torture yourself). Spend time with people, with animals. Summer is coming. Walk barefoot on the grass, do some gardening.
If sleep deprivation is a big problem, see your GP. We don't usually recommend drugs that affect brain activity, but if no other solution can be found and the situation is out of hand, I would consider sleeping pills for a few weeks, so that you get some rest.
Take care. |
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Piruz
United Kingdom
73 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2019 : 6:26:38 PM
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| I wonder what I'm supposed to do about those energy flashes/electrical shocks in my groinal area that come out of nowhere every time I'm about to fall asleep. Do I shift focus, turn sides and just try to shake it off? Or do I surrender? It really feels like the energy "wants" to get somewhere, especially when I'm about to fall asleep. |
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Piruz
United Kingdom
73 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2019 : 7:24:04 PM
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Also guys I think there might (there just might) be a good reason why the "energy" is stuck at the groinal area. I've had two hernia operations down there (about 7 years ago), both sides, and it did usually hurt during sexual release (sometimes it would wake me up during night because of wet dreams), not the muscles but the nerves. Now the energy is "exploding" over there every time I sleep on my sides.
Thought this might help. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2019 : 08:56:04 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Piruz
[I wonder what I'm supposed to do about those energy flashes/electrical shocks in my groinal area that come out of nowhere every time I'm about to fall asleep. Do I shift focus, turn sides and just try to shake it off? Or do I surrender? It really feels like the energy "wants" to get somewhere, especially when I'm about to fall asleep.
Your body relaxes as you drift into sleep. So the energy begins to flow easier.
And yes, it is typical for kundalini energy to 'knock into' blockages. It wants to clean you up.
Now, in a controlled process, with Ajna leading, we can keep the intensity of this process within limits. But when the crown has opened, that is no longer possible. As Yogani puts it, it is like taking the roof off the house.
It is better to allow it, but be mindful that focusing attention on the energy stimulates it. Try to find a balance between allowing and not stirring it up if you can.
quote:
Originally posted by Piruz
I think there might (there just might) be a good reason why the "energy" is stuck at the groinal area. I've had two hernia operations down there (about 7 years ago), both sides, and it did usually hurt during sexual release (sometimes it would wake me up during night because of wet dreams), not the muscles but the nerves. Now the energy is "exploding" over there every time I sleep on my sides.
Yes, it is past traumas, stresses and tensions that we have never released or healed.
Kundalini getting to work on them is a good process, but it can be painful and/or disabling if it happens too fast. This is what you have triggered with the practices at the crown. The challenge is now to find a way to live with this intense purification.
I hope things settle down a bit and the situation become manageable as you are taking a break from practices and hopefully grounding.
Sending you best wishes as I'm writing this.
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After years of meditation, I'm going crazy!
