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Zans
Lithuania
6 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 05 2018 : 9:39:16 PM
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Hello all,
From my last thread things going pnrogressively worse. Didn't sleep for above week. Getting weaker on daily basis. Doctors ran basic tests - nothing wrong. Unbearable discomfort in heart, pressure - heat like. Anxiety - fear. Mental confusion where I barely can focus.
Why I am being so punished? My mother suffers from that more then I do. Why does energy seemingly wants to destroy me?
Apologies for frantic, all over the place post. Hopeless despair pushed me to create thread. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2018 : 09:38:36 AM
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Hi Zans,
Adding a link here to your previous post on this topic:
https://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic...=17824#17824
Don't worry, you won't die, or expreience any permanent damage. It sounds as if you have overdone things, especially by using the Vipassana energetic technique and observing strict celibasy. These are two things that I advise people not to do, as they are both commonly associated with premature kundalini awakenings.
You have been given good advice already by Charliedog and Dogboy. If you follow that, you will be alright.
Going forwards, when things have settled down, I would recommend you to follow the AYP system of practices, as they are designed to produce a balanced, stable awakening over the long term, rather than what you are going through now.
Christi
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Zans
Lithuania
6 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2018 : 11:39:20 AM
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Hello,
thanks for answer. what bothers me I can't handle any external stimulation. Each day goes worse. Seems like I've trapped in this nightmare state. Sleep deprivation depletes more and more. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2018 : 5:17:27 PM
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Hi Zans,
Are you able to complete this questionaire so we have more idea of what you have been doing and are better able to assist you?:
https://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic...=11628#11628
You can copy/paste the questions into this thread if you like and answer them here.
Christi |
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Zans
Lithuania
6 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2018 : 05:28:52 AM
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Hey Christi,
link you attached has all questions I answered.
Thanks |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2018 : 07:58:26 AM
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Hi Zans,
Can you let me know what vipassana technique you were using before all this happened?
Also, are you vegetarian?
Christi |
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Zans
Lithuania
6 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2018 : 09:09:37 AM
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Hey,
For half a year or so I was noting external sounds, then observing mental activities. Last half year I was just concentrating to a space in front of me and that would generate lots of bliss. I thought it was Shamatha without object or something similar to Dzogzchen "Great Perfection".
You know what I am afraid of Christi? My mother. It feels like energy is just to intense to subside now. It is never friendly. Always accompanied with fear - anxiety. I read if it can go like that it could fry brain or kill you. It feels now no matter what I do it is just becoming more intense. I feel immobile and dysfunctional with strong mental confusion. Even walks now exhaust me. That it could likely destroy me is fine but I fail to see plan of Divine (if there is such) in involving my family to wittness condition I am in.
I was semi vegetarian. Now I eat whatever after intensity picked up.
Thanks
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2018 : 11:22:57 AM
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Hi Zans,
Don't worry. You won't die! The practices you have been doing are powerful ones and are clearly too powerful for someone who is not kundalini awakened. If you have a teacher, I would advise talking with your teacher about what you are going through.
Eat a heavy diet for now, until things calm down. Also, walk every day if you are able to . The more you can walk, the more grounded you will become and the more the energy will subside. Avoid all spiritual practices for now, or even reading about spiritual things.
Fear and anxiety are associated with the manipura chakra being purified. That will pass in time.
Drink plenty of water and avoid heavy exercise. Things could take a while to settle down, as you are in quite an extreme condition, but they will settle down eventually.
Christi
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2018 : 6:02:10 PM
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quote:
You know what I am afraid of Christi? My mother. It feels like energy is just to intense...
I am assuming you live with your mother, so you need to thread lightly. Be as pleasant as you can, do not engage in debate or feed the intensity. Find ways to serve her, picking up after yourself, doing some laundry or a favor for her. When you make eye contact, smile like this  |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2018 : 03:08:47 AM
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Hi Zans,
You received good advice already from Christi and Dogboy. I would like to add, is it possible for you to write a letter to your mother?
Without judging, from the heart, telling her how you feel in this situation?
After writing you can decide if you give it to her or not.
From own experience, listening to healing mantra (like Snatam Kaur or Deva Premal) or soft music (like Deuter) might give you some peace. You can lie down on the floor and listen, it might give you some release, sobbing on music.
Love & Light and Hugs to you  |
Edited by - Charliedog on Dec 08 2018 03:16:53 AM |
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Can I die from this or mentally damaged permanent?
