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gabrielghost
United Kingdom
3 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 26 2018 : 05:04:48 AM
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hello,
I've been interested in yoga for the last 5 years, and started off by practicing hatha yoga intensely after work, leading me into the SRF (Yogananda's organisation) Kriya's, leading me into more current work of Sadhguru's. I then found this site recently which is a brilliant community of people, which is more easily accessible than with the others.
I waver in my Sadhana, mainly because often I can't get the balance right - it seems I go in too deep, and I totally withdraw from the world - or I go back into the world, and the Sadhana is impossible to upkeep.
This balance is hard, and it perhaps makes me think that i'm not ready for yoga? I love it, and I love exploring possibilities, expanding my limitations, but honestly without a guide it becomes kind of impossible to navigate the barriers of one's own mind.
Should I stop trying, wait for it to come to me in a clearer form, perhaps some lifetimes ahead (not that I'm sure lifetimes exist of course, I haven't experienced that phenomenon myself to affirm), or should I keep going, through the days of totally crazy energy fluctuations, huge DEPRESSIONS because of the practices etc?
Most recently I stopped practicing intensely (4-5 hours a day) because I was living at home with my parents, no job, and just doing the yoga and sadhana and it was making me so so unhappy that I wasn't living life.....
In short - me being 'natural' is probably someone who consumes alcohol, enjoys parties with friends, music festivals, an intense life - but I also have this yearning for more - and it's hard to combine these. I pick one, and I miss the other, I pick the other and I miss the other - and combining both is very difficult. What should I do?
Any thoughts or guidance would be very much appreciated!
Pranams,
Gabriel |
Edited by - gabrielghost on Aug 26 2018 05:12:34 AM |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2018 : 08:41:05 AM
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Welcome to the forums, Gabriel,
Oh you are more than ready for it - 
It is Bhakti that is driving you wild. Balance is always key in everything. I would propose you start reading here : https://www.aypsite.org/10.html
AYP starts you off with Deep Meditation @ 20 mins . Eventually, if you add on all the other practices here (and who can manage all that?) it will take you 1 hour tops. And that twice a day.
Yogani’s sound advice is do your practices 2x a day and go out and live your life. So there, you can have it all 
Good luck
Sey 
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2018 : 09:26:28 AM
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Hello Gabriel, welcome
Reading your post, I thought there was a lesson in there about bingeing.
You need to find the level of practice at which you are stable. A little bit every day is much better than 4-5 hours a day, then nothing for months.
There is a lot in the AYP lessons about self-pacing - a very important practice in its own right.
I agree with Sey - you are ready. The path is long and the sooner you get going the better. Steadiness is key.
Good luck! |
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gabrielghost
United Kingdom
3 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2018 : 10:16:36 AM
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Thank you so much for this guys, really really helpful. I still find it hard to balance the two. It seems that I am in different frames of mind for each, and I need to work out a way of marrying these two states so they can happily coexist. In world-dominating/entrepreneurial ‘bulldozer’ state yoga feels like the opposite required, in self-peeling realisation state, I can never get enough of it.
More yoga makes me care less about contributing to the world, but also makes me sad that I’m not. Less yoga has me caught up moe in the world but a feeling like I lose touch.
Perhaps it is this wave that we all are learning to surf and is buddha’s ‘middle way’? Thoughts and experiences here would be most well received! |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2018 : 11:34:18 AM
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Hi Gabriel, Good morning and welcome to the forum! I would agree with the responses in regards to balance. What I love about these practices and the philosophy of these practices is the idea of balance. I feel doing the 2x daily practices AM and PM is sufficient for meditation. Very occasionally if I have the time, I'll sit for a longer time maybe an hour or hour and a half as sort of a meditation retreat.
Also in regards to hatha yoga, I love to use Ayurveda as a guide to keep in the back of my mind. Knowing your dosha body type can help to guide you as to how much hatha yoga might be appropriate. In a perfect world I'd be doing half hour of hatha yoga daily considering that I'm primarily Vata.
I love the idea of doing the things that interest you as well if they are serving you. Go to festivals, hang out with friends - do all that serves you unless you are ready to shed it naturally. Just my 2 cents:-) Best to you Gabriel!
 Chard |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2018 : 3:58:24 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by gabrielghost
More yoga makes me care less about contributing to the world, but also makes me sad that I’m not.
You are contributing to the world when you are doing yoga.
Cleaning ourselves up first is the only way in which we can genuinely and sustainably contribute to the world. Otherwise the burden you carry will cast a shadow over the world, whether you know it or not. Especially as you don't know it, in fact. Cultivate awareness first, then you will know how to truly contribute. |
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Blanche
USA
874 Posts |
Posted - Sep 13 2018 : 06:56:26 AM
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Hi Gabriel,
Yoga is not just meditation or other practices on the yoga mat. Yoga is a way of being, of living life. With time, as you cultivate awareness and clarity, all your life becomes yoga.
My advice is to continue with your life as it is, and pay attention to how you feel. Just be curious, without any expectation. Be a scientist gathering data. How does it really feel to practice meditation? How do you feel when you practice 20 minutes twice a day? How does it feel when you practice 4-5 hours? How do you feel when you do not practice at all? How does it feel to party? How does it feel to hang out with different friends? How does your body feel in each of this situation? Your mind? How do you feel emotionally?
Keep a journal to have a log of what you learn. You have the answer, you just have to see it for yourself. Knowing intellectually is informative, but learning from experience is transformative.
Something good is happening.
Best wishes.
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Blanche
USA
874 Posts |
Posted - Sep 13 2018 : 07:45:26 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by gabrielghost
huge DEPRESSIONS because of the practices etc?
Spiritual practices do not cause depression. Practices allow the fluctuations of the mind to settle, the noise and the distraction to go down, and whatever it is inside to become obvious. You could stop practices, and distract yourself with the daily busyness, and the inner problems could get covered up again. Sooner or later, they will resurface and you will have to deal with them. Unresolved trauma and resistance to it often express as depression. With meditation and other practices, the inner burden is gradually lightened. Peace and happiness start to bubble up, and the quality of life improves significantly.
Another thing you may consider is to volunteer. There are many places/programs serving others: soup kitchens, shelters, senior centers, youth mentoring, etc. You will meet people and start to contribute to the world right away. Volunteering is a job – and maybe it could help you find a paid job, too. It is really not good for a young person to sit around without a job. We are organs of sense of the infinite, we are supposed to engage in experiences and digest them. As it is said in Bhagavad Gita, do not get attached to the fruit of your action, or inaction.
Blanche |
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Etienne
USA
1 Posts |
Posted - Oct 04 2018 : 07:34:42 AM
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| I can wholeheartedly recommend volunteering as well. And not just volunteering. Any selfless acts, in general, will give you so much enjoyment and satisfaction. Really worth it! |
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adishivayogi
USA
197 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2018 : 1:41:28 PM
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| The yoga sutras begin with “ and now instruction in yoga “. So when you when you’ve come to the conclusion looking within may be the only way to find fulfillment |
Edited by - adishivayogi on Nov 24 2018 2:01:37 PM |
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Am I Ready For Yoga? When is someone ready?
