New here - some questions - AYP Public Forum

Sweden
5 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2018 : 11:45:45 PM

Hello :)

I am new here and new to meditation.

I have some questions. I figure I could just let them go and try meditation and everything will just be allright eventually.
But still I wonder.

I started meditate for a month or two maybe 4 years ago when I first discovered this site.
It worked, something happened in me.
But suddenly I got back pains (not when I meditated but during the rest of the day)
One day it got so bad I couldn't walk for a few hours.
I stopped meditating and it took 4 months for my back pain to completely vanish.

Also after I meditated i got tired and rested in my sofa for hours, I felt tired the rest of the day but felt good in a strange way, like I felt good but was frustrated in some way about being tired, like when you have slept too long maybe. I also had troubles controlling my anger during the day, I could lash out and yell if there were a loud noice for example

I will try and meditate again and maybe it is as simple as that I am sitting wrong, or that I should only meditate once a day for a year first before I start doing it twice a day as explained here on the site.

If you feel like it please give advice about my meditation.
Was I doing it right? ( i meditated on I AM twice a day)
I had some trouble being distracted by noise (cars going by, subway, birds tweeting) so I think I couldn't come deep enough into the meditation)
Why did I experience being tired (yet feeling strangely good)
Why did I get angry?
Why did I get backpains?

I thought I was going to get more energy? Be less tired and feel good all day? Without feeling bad?

Anyway I have a few questions.

Why should it be so hard?
I mean, it seems that if you meditate everything will be wonderful.
But all I read about here in the forums and some stuff yogani mentions is just trouble.
People who are stuck in their progress and wonder what to do next ?
People who suffer, cries, feels depressions, feels alone, stuck, frustrated, get physical problems.
People who tried these methods but they are nor working or they feel bad from doing them.

Then on the other hand we have yogani that talks about how wonderful life can be when we do the practice.

Well my question is, why isn't it simple?
Should it not be that you start meditate and then everything will come in place.
Everything will be allright and there will be no more problems, no more frustration, only happiness and love?

Why are the problems still their for so many people?

I mean, if I start meditate and will come across all these problems, isn't it better to just leave meditatation alone if I anyway will go through problems and suffering?

Yet, maybe I answer my question myself, maybe it is worth it when the good powers of meditation kicks in and I will feel allright even if I go through all these problems all along the way.

Also a question about all these lessons, why so many, why so many steps? The next one more and more advanced then the first one.

When I think yogani just told everyone in the first lesson (it was a while I read them) that all you need to do is meditate twice a day and do pranayama, and everything will be fantastic.

Why all these additional steps?

Why can't it all be easy? :)

Also some other questions. If I start meditate and I eventually will notice the good power coming out of it, will I change as a person?
I like myself as I am, will i stop doing all "normal" stuff I do in life and just sit in my room and meditate all day?
My fear here seems stupid but still the questions goes around in my head.
Let us say I like eating good food on a restaurant, go to the movies, go to the pub with friends, talk to girls (i want to find a girlfriend).
Play music in a rockband.
Do all the "normal" stuff most people do in their normal lifes.
Will I just stop doing all these things and become some sort of calm booring person that only walks around and talk to people and never do anything fun?

These are some of my questions.
Maybe all of those question will go away by themselves if I succeed in meditation the next time I will try it.
But it would nice to know something from all of you who have already succeeded in meditation :)

Also some more questions but maybe not in detail:
If we know meditation is fantastic for the human race.
Why don't we all do it ?
And why are there so much bad things in life?
I mean life is wonderful but there also so much bad things in life.
If everyone starts meditating will we get rid of all the bad stuff in life?

Thanks :)

Best Regards
The aviator

Edited by - The-aviator on Jul 07 2018 12:27:55 AM

1625 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 02:57:04 AM

Hi The-aviator and welcome

You have a lot of questions, and as you noticed on these forums, you are not the only one. This could be one of the reasons why Yogani wrote so many lessons for humanity, we all have so many questions.....while the practice is simple, our mind is complex and not easy to satisfy.

I could answer some of your questions here but remember, than these are my answers, you can believe it or not. Believing is something different than experience it yourself. The only way to find out is to start with practice. Practice will not be a quick fix for your or world problems, you will have to be dedicated to the practices. It will take time, seriously. You will get to know yourself, you will dive deep inside yourself. This is not always easy, it might be confronting, you will find parts of yourself that you had hoped were gone or not existing.

But you know with every step you take in this journey you work on your evolution as a human-being. You will purify yourself and with purifying your habits will change. Not from one day to the other, but if you look back after some time you can see it. Life becomes lighter, your view on life will change. Your perspective on this world might collapse.

Something inside you is calling for this, isn't it?

You can start reading here

1625 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 03:22:22 AM

Some answers to your questions:

quote:
But suddenly I got back pains (not when I meditated but during the rest of the day)
One day it got so bad I couldn't walk for a few hours.
I stopped meditating and it took 4 months for my back pain to completely vanish.

Do you know your practice was the reason? If yes, could it be that you were sitting in a position that was not suitable for you? You can sit with your back supported, no problem.

quote:
Also after I meditated i got tired and rested in my sofa for hours, I felt tired the rest of the day but felt good in a strange way, like I felt good but was frustrated in some way about being tired, like when you have slept too long maybe. I also had troubles controlling my anger during the day, I could lash out and yell if there were a loud noice for example

This means that you are sensitive to the practices. You will have to self-pace accordingly, practice for a shorter period. This is mentioned in the lessons.

We are all individuals with our own karmic obstructions, we will have to find out for ourselves time and practice schedules. We do not need to do all practices, deep meditation( IAM) is the core practice, starting with 5 or 10 minutes twice daily and some rest afterwards is a good start for instance. See what it will bring you by making with yourself an appointment to do this for 40 days for instance. Mark your calendar, what is there to loose?

Good luck

Edited by - Charliedog on Jul 07 2018 03:36:49 AM

United Kingdom
1734 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 03:45:15 AM

Hello The aviator, welcome to the forum

These are all good questions.

quote:
Originally posted by The-aviator
But suddenly I got back pains (not when I meditated but during the rest of the day)
One day it got so bad I couldn't walk for a few hours.
I stopped meditating and it took 4 months for my back pain to completely vanish.

It sounds like you are quite sensitive to practices. This means that a small amount will cause big effects. What you need to do is find the right dose. I would suggest trying 10 minutes of I AM meditation twice a day. If that still leads to discomfort, then you will need to switch to a less strong form of meditation. Breath focused meditation is described in Lesson 367 - Suggestions for Over-Sensitive Meditators

quote:
Originally posted by The-aviator
Was I doing it right? ( i meditated on I AM twice a day)
I had some trouble being distracted by noise (cars going by, subway, birds tweeting) so I think I couldn't come deep enough into the meditation)

If you are following the instructions in the lesson, then you are doing it just right. It doesn't matter how deep you were going and how the meditation feels. We simply follow the instruction of easily picking up the mantra. That's all.

quote:
Originally posted by The-aviator
Why should it be so hard?
I mean, it seems that if you meditate everything will be wonderful.
But all I read about here in the forums and some stuff yogani mentions is just trouble.
People who are stuck in their progress and wonder what to do next ?
People who suffer, cries, feels depressions, feels alone, stuck, frustrated, get physical problems.

Because the time when people need support is when there is a glitch. When everything goes smoothly, there are no questions to ask. What happens in the forum is troubleshooting, so of course you will read about difficulties. It's not all difficulties of course, else people will have stopped practicing yoga a long time ago. Why would we get into unpleasantness if there were not benefit? But there is benefit. The troubles are transitory and overall the practice is more than worth it.

quote:
Originally posted by The-aviator
When I think yogani just told everyone in the first lesson (it was a while I read them) that all you need to do is meditate twice a day and do pranayama, and everything will be fantastic.
Why all these additional steps?

The additional steps are for those who need them. Some people, who have a high level of sensitivity to practice, might go the whole way with meditation only. So do not trouble yourself with all the practices in the book at this stage. We can only take one step at the time. You are at the stage where you need to work out what the right form of meditation is for you and how much of it is right for you. So all you need to read are the lessons about meditation and about self-pacing. You can find those by going to the index page: https://www.aypsite.org/TopicIndex.html
Select the "Deep Meditation" topic and the "Self-Pacing and Grounding" topic. Read those lessons and if you have any questions ask them in the forum.

Let us know how you get on.

United Kingdom
1734 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 03:46:42 AM

Hi Charliedog
We crossposted

1625 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 04:12:25 AM

You completed the answers BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1734 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 04:48:56 AM

Sweden
5 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 04:59:19 AM

Hello :)

Thank you very much for quick response :)
So ok now I feel a little bit better.

So I need to find another form of meditation at first. Thank you for that.
I automatically thought that I AM was the only way.
I will look at the lesson for oversensitive persons.

I just wanted to answer first.

So ok 5 or 10 minutes twice daily.
Is it ok to do this even if I maybe won't feel a thing during the rest of the day. I mean. Is it having an effect
long term anyway if I keep practicing daily?

More questions :)
Why does it have to be twice a day?
If I am oversensitive isn't it enough with once a day in the beginning?

When I meditated before I sat in my sofa. I had my hands on my knees with the inside of my hands upwards (it just felt a little better because the other way sort of felt tense).

Anyway as I got deeper into the meditation, breathing moore heavily, I think I crouched a little with my upper body. Like the head and neck bent a little forward and down.
I did not feel I sat in a bad position, i mean it did not hurt or was uncomfortable. (I remember yogani said that you should sit comfortable so there is nothing hurting or irritating you during the meditation).
But I read in the forums and elsewhere on the internet that the spine should be straight, that you should sit straight. But how do you do that if you in your meditation wants to relax and maybe sink with your upper bordy? Is it more important to use some muscle tension to continue to sit up straight?

Next time I will try to meditate I will try to sit in a chair. But it is anyway interesting to know if did anything wrong the first time.

Ok so I see the people in the forums that have these problems, they are actually feeling good most of the time. Yeah I guess that makes sense.
Still feels sad that they and maybe I will have to go through bad times also in meditation practices.
But if the benefits are much greater than the bad times then I guess its ok.

Is it possible that you won't go through any trouble at all if you just stick to meditation and pranayama twice a day?

Thanks for the answers :)
I will read about over sensitive persons now and read the lessons about deep meditation and self pacing and grounding again.

Best Regards
The aviator

Sweden
5 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 05:19:12 AM

quote:
Do you know your practice was the reason? If yes, could it be that you were sitting in a position that was not suitable for you? You can sit with your back supported, no problem.

Yes I am pretty sure it was the reason. I had not had any backpain problems before and I did not do anything other that could have hurt my back.
I think it came gradually and was there one day.
I am not sure but I think i started with pranayama one day after I had meditated a month or so, just to see what would happen.
I think i got the back pains then.
But it also came gradually so its hard to pinpoint if it was the pranayama I tested out.

After my backpains vanished finally I have had more problems with my back. Only small problems and it has always sorted itself out if I only rested and relaxed my back.

But I have never had any problems with my back before I started to meditate.

United Kingdom
1734 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 05:51:08 AM

quote:
Originally posted by The-aviator
Why does it have to be twice a day?
If I am oversensitive isn't it enough with once a day in the beginning?

Yes, for oversensitive practitioners 10 minutes once a day might be enough. I wouldn't reduce the session time below 10 minutes.

You will only find out what is right for you by experimenting. If you do 10 minutes once a day for a few weeks or a couple of months and feel that you can add a bit more, then you can introduce a second 10 minutes session a day. Two sessions a day will have more of an effect that one session, so if you don't overload, it is advisable to do two.

We keep our back straight as far as practically possible. The most important consideration is that we are in a comfortable position, so that we don't get distracted during meditation. If a chair works better than the sofa, go for it. You can use pillows too, if you find them helpful.

quote:
Originally posted by The-aviator
Is it possible that you won't go through any trouble at all if you just stick to meditation and pranayama twice a day?

The aim is to find the level of practice that gives you the maximum progress with minimum discomfort. It varies from person to person. It could be meditation only. Or it could be meditation + pranayama. We build it up step by step. If we find it's too much, we cut back.

Why does discomfort occur at all?
Unfortunately we have accumulated some baggage that needs to cleaned up. The dross that we have hidden in our subconscious has to be cleaned up, otherwise you will carry it with you. It can be a heavy burden. You have the choice to ignore it (but of course you will continue to carry it), or you can begin to clean it up. If you start to peer into this subconscious baggage, the sight might not be pretty. We need to clean it up without being overwhelmed by it. Yogani wrote somewhere about the art of cleaning the house without raising too much dust. This is what self pacing is all about.

Good luck!

1625 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2018 : 08:45:18 AM

quote:
So I need to find another form of meditation at first. Thank you for that.
I automatically thought that I AM was the only way.
I will look at the lesson for oversensitive persons.

It was 4 years ago, and we do not know what your practice was, back then. You practiced DM but what was your time schedule ? Did you also practiced pranayama? We could not say without knowing your daily practice if you are oversensitive to DM. It is also possible you just did too much...

Sweden
5 Posts

Posted - Jul 09 2018 : 4:53:06 PM

Hello :)

Thought I'd make a small message.
I tried to meditate today.
Only 5 minutes on the mantra I AM.
Rested 2 or 3 minutes afterwards.
Didn't lay down and rested as I used to do when I tried to meditate last time ( 4 years ago).

Something happened :)
As i started thinking the words I AM i started to almost cry a bit. And laughed at the same time.
After that there were a lot of thoughts and no real possibility to go back to the mantra.
I was distracted by some sounds from cars, subway and birds also.

Anyway.

After the meditation was done I felt exactly as last time.
I felt tired.
Some energy was there but I also felt like lying down and rest, not sleep but rest, for like 4 hours :)

But I went to the town instead and all day long I just fel very relaxed.
But I didn't like the feeling because there was no energy.
At least not that I could use.

I was hindered by being tired, sleepy.
I felt as I was walking in a dreamworld, kind like I was on drugs.
I am a bit dissapointed because I have read that I will get energy and feel light and have lots of energy and feel sharp.

Instead I just felt like sleeping or just doing nothing.
Well I actuallt felt like doing a lot of stuff but I did not have energy to do them.
Well the energy was sort of there but I couldn't use it.

But the cool thing is that I felt allright. I had this feeling of calm and that I was feeling good.
But at the same I was irritated because I walked so slowly and couldn't really do anything fast or with energy.

Well anyway.
I will try meditate for 5 minutes each day for a month and see where this takes me :)

At least I know now that if I want to feel calm one day I can meditate that morning :)

I will get back to you if I have any questions :)

Best Regards
The Aviator

jusmail

India
491 Posts

Posted - Jul 09 2018 : 8:24:23 PM

Good luck!

1625 Posts

Posted - Jul 10 2018 : 03:34:48 AM

Hi The Aviator,

Good luck with your monthly experiment, let us know

No one can tell you what is most important to you. Only you can know. It is entirely in your hands, always your choice. But you have an inner voice, you know. Something inside calls you to experience more, always to more. The seed wants to grow into a strong tree with beautiful, fragrant flowers blooming out all over. It must. We are all called by that evolutionary current inside us. Whatever else may be going on in our lives, the current will be there. It is not just for us, it is for everyone, and we do everyone a great service by deciding to cultivate it, first by favoring the rise of the desire, and then with practices that naturally bring out the peace and bliss residing within us.~Yogani Lesson 18

Chard

250 Posts

Posted - Jul 18 2018 : 11:43:04 PM

Hi The-aviator! Welcome to the forum! This is a great place to find support for mediation whether you are experiencing challenges or just want to share the fruits of the practice.
I’ll touch on a couple things you mentioned...namely why should it be so hard etc...
Well, from my humble perspective having meditated a bit I’ve come to see that the people who have a daily meditation practice are not merely practicing to have problems disappear but are practicing because...well, what else is there but to go inside of ourselves and sit with ourselves when what we really seek cannot be found outside of ourselves we realize. Ultimately, it’s the path that calls us, that pulls us, and we just respond- for better or for worse. It’s our karma our divine blueprint to meditate and to evolve.
We begin practicing to “lessen our life problems” and yes in fact the practice of meditation does give us a different perspective and things that we deemed as “problems” to avoid or run from get transformed. So perhaps problems may or may not disappear but rather our perspective on them alters. We may suddenly realize people, places and things that used to really rattle our cage don’t have us flinch anymore. Whereas we may start to feel undesirable feelings more sharply than before because we are not running or hiding from them. With meditation we face life squarely.
Wishing you the best on your journey! Glad you’ve flown into the forum Aviator friend!

Chard

Sweden
5 Posts

Posted - Jul 21 2018 : 02:07:33 AM

Hello :)

I will try to make a small post.
I tried to meditate for three days but stopped.
Didn't like the way I felt.

As I mentioned before I wanted to feel good and have lots of energy, feel more focus.
I think I felt the opposite.
But I got relaxed and calm for sure.
But it was not a nice relaxed feeling, maybe I felt restless at the same time, as if I wanted to do stuff but couldn't because I was so tired or relaxed, like walking in honey.

I know the feeling like when I have done something really nice all day and have really been enjoying it, I feel warm, filled with energy, like I am on top of the world and can do anything.
That is how I wanted to feel, or something closer to it anyhow.
Maybe a weird comparison but like being in a football match. You run fast, you can make quick decisions and pass the ball to team mates, everything flows, your in the zone and the feeling is, energy, happiness. Warm nice feeling :)

This just feels weird.

Just did not feel I could jump up and down with lots of energy and be quick in responses and do what I wanted to do.

Just walked around all day in like a dream state without being able to come out of it.
(The last day I came out of it, my meditation was not as deep as the other days and towards the end of the day I eventually just snapped out if it, is this what I should do, snap out if my dream state even if it takes some or much effort?)

But maybe that's the point? To feel relaxed and don't do anything? Don't care about anything, just let everything go?
But how does that work if you want to be able to do stuff during the day?
If you feel tired all day, or walk really slow or really can't be quick at all in a conversation or if I feel like all I wanna do is just rest and relax all the time?
Is that the way I should be feeling?
Is this only a phase, will I come around and have lots of energy after this trial period of 40 days?

One interesting thing though, allthough I felt I didn't have the energy I vacumed my apartment, all of it and just not half as I usually end up with doing.
And afterward I was not really tired, I mean my body was tired but I felt like doing other stuff in my mind anyway :)
I think I rested for like 5 minutes, took a shower and went to the town.
That would never have happened usually :) Usually I would have rested and felt exhausted at least for a few hours :)

So , I mean it seems to work. But I don't like the feeling. I want to be quicker in my responses, feel that I am in control. Maybe it should be the opposite? Maybe I should loose control? :)

Well I will try again towards the fall. Maybe it workes better if I also have work to do, more grounding?

But thanks again for all great replies.

Just wanted to say hi really, I am still interested but will maybe try to meditate only once a week in the fall.

I will also read the lessons when I have the time, still not sure if I am oversensitive but it is something, otherways I should have just felt good all day right ? :)

Best Regards
The Aviator