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COLORY89
Poland
6 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 28 2018 : 10:10:10 AM
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Hi everyone,
I want to share my store about my kundalini/spiritual awakening because I really don’t know what to do anymore and I think I really need some serious help or advice.
I’m 28 now. I’m a male from small town in Poland. I used to have suicidal thought since I was probably 17/18 years old.
At the end of January 2015 (it was around 100 days after I stopped masturbating and watching porn, I had been really addicted to them) there was a day that I started to feel terribly exhausted. I could feel like my muscles around my spine started to loosen up and moment later I just felt like my whole body just gave up. Suddenly I felt electric rush from the bottom of my spine to my head. My heart started pounding like crazy. I got up and after few minutes it just calmed down. After few hours I found information that it could be kundalini. I don’t think I had ever met this term before that day.
So in May 2016 I went vegan. In the middle of June I noticed that I got really bad eye floaters. It really freaked me out. I was really scared and all I did was searching internet to find some kind of cure. I found out that I got these floaters because I had been taking B2 in big amounts and it can be toxic and can cause floaters. I also found some anecdotal evidence that going for a prolonged fasting can cure floaters. So I decided to go for at least 20 days fast. I did it and it actually didn’t help at all. For 20 days I drank only water. 2 days after I ended my fast I got really bad panic attack. Next day I called my mom and she took me back to my hometown. I moved back to my parents house.
Whole January 2017 was really weird and spiritual experience. At least 2 nights a week I had some kind of clearing that I couldn’t control but was fully aware. I didn’t meditate or anything. Usually next day I felt really orgasmic and awesome. Many times especially when it was dark I was seeing white sparkles at the corners of my eyes. I was waking up almost every night between 3-5 AM and I was feeling that some kind of bad entities were watching me. I read a lot of spiritual material. I think it was the first month that I absolutely devoted all my time to kundalini, to work with it.
At the beginning of February 2017 I had some downs. It was a really bad and intense time of my life. It was like almost every day I was just laying down in my bed and the thoughts of past bad deeds were coming to me. There were different kind of experiences during next 3 months. For example in the times where I couldn’t eat and drink I had this urge to spit a lot of saliva. I had heart palpitations. I could see energy. I could see light when I was closing my eyes. I had the feeling that I have to concentrate on my 3rd eye. I had headaches. I felt pressure in my forehead and on the crown of my head. I had ringing in the ears. I felt that world is going through big change. I was thinking about spirituality and how world should look like almost all the time. I always had to get to the right answer. After bad days there were coming also good days were I started feeling this sexual orgasmic feeling. When I felt like that I usually fitted my thoughts into this feeling. I had really weird sexual fantasies. During that time I was really anxious about everything.
And there came the May of 2017 that was absolutely insane. I started to think about other people and things that I did to them. After dealing with my relations with people for two days I was completely exhausted. It was evening I was laying in my bed when suddenly I felt like my body just can’t go on. Despite all the adrenaline, my body just completely loosen up. I felt this energy that was going from my crouch into my head through my spine. My heart was pounding like crazy. It wasn’t like my previous kundalini experiences. I was completely awake and terrified. It was almost midnight. My thoughts were racing. Suddenly I started to have thoughts that I have to go outside. I started having these thoughts that I have to go the certain spot in the forest and that probably my “alien” family will be there waiting for me (this was probably from everything I read about whole earth awakening. It is said that creatures from space gathered here, now to help and earth move into higher plane). They weren’t there. After a while I started to have thoughts that I should hitchhike and go to some kind of drug addict facility and volunteered there (these thoughts probably appeared because of all the biblical texts about selfless servings to others). I had these thoughts to just leave everything now and go there in the middle of the night. I was terrified. I was considering hitchhiking if any of the cars were passing me by. I came back home. These thoughts about volunteering where vanishing but I still had these feeling, pounding heart and energy. I started having thoughts about making a big barbeque party for all my neighbors. I started to have these thoughts that were forcing me to make it as fearful as it can be for me. I was fighting these thoughts for hours. I couldn’t sleep. About 11 AM these feelings and thoughts started to vanish. Also the energy. I think I went to sleep around noon and slept for 2 hours. After I woke up I didn’t want to do it anymore. I felt quite normal. (just thinking about this event makes me anxious).
There came these two days that changed everything. I started to have the same “energy awakening” that I had week or two weeks earlier. This time my thoughts were about leaving my house, selling everything and starting to live with homeless people in the city that I had been at the university. I couldn’t stop these thoughts. I went for a walk to the forest near my house and I remember that there was a moment that I felt like I was having heart attack. My heart was pounding so hard that I had to sit on the ground. I felt that I have to leave everything. I was terrified. I was struggling with it whole night. Every time I told myself that I won’t do it, I felt that I can’t breathe and had spasms.
After not sleeping for whole night and started thinking that I really had to do this because if I don’t it won’t go away. I tried everything to calm down but I wasn’t able. I started watching a YouTube video from a guy who connects idea of psychosis with spiritual awakening. I had listened to his videos before. He told that when he had his “psychosis” he had to get naked in crowd of people and had peed himself. I’m not sure if I had these thoughts before listing to that video or after but from now on I was thinking about getting naked in public. I was terrified. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t take it anymore so I got naked in my house. I came to my mother and I asked her to hug me. She called ambulance. After talking with my parents they took me to the nearest psychiatrist hospital.
In the afternoon I started to have this weird feeling. I was feeling that some kind of bad energy is in me. I started to feel really anxious. I asked nurses for some pills for calming down. It didn’t do anything. This feeling was growing. I started to think about killing myself. I went to the bathroom. I put two bags on my head and tied socks around my neck. I started to suffocate. Despite how horrible suffocation felt I didn’t stop because I wanted to die so much. I passed out. Someone tore apart the bags and I woke up. They gave me a shot and put in me restraining bed in isolated room. I remember that when they put me there I thought that this terrible feeling would never end. They gave me another shot. I calmed down a little bit. I fell asleep. I woke up at night I was still under effects of shots but I was quite conscious. I didn’t feel the horrible urge to kill myself tho.
After two weeks I started having another “energy awakening”. I was thinking about getting naked in front of everybody. I went for a shot. It didn’t make much. After about half an hour I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I undressed myself completely in front of other patients. They put me in restraining bed. When I was laying there I felt quite peaceful but at the same time I didn’t feel 100% relieved.
During first week in second psychiatric hospital (I got transferred after 8 weeks) I had this terrifying experience. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was feeling this energy on the top of my head that felt like total death and terror. It was very intense. I was feeling like I was dying. It went off after about half of a minute. I was very scared. That happened to me again also over 2 months later.
When I got home I also wanted to get a job. But when I started searching job offers I started to feel pressure in my body and anxiety that I’m not supposed to do that. It’s like subconsciously I was afraid that this whole situation is still not resolved.
So I try to distract myself as much as I can. I came back home from hospital almost 4 months ago Over 2 months ago I got back to the gym and this the thing that helps me out. On weekends I’m seeing my friends and I actually can enjoy it. Not 100% but it’s better than in the last months before I got into hospital. I don’t drink alcohol and I haven’t smoked weed since February 2017.
I have really strong OCD (especially spiritual/ moral scrupulosity) from to time to time (I have one for about almost 4 weeks now).
I still try not to masturbate. I haven’t masturbated in almost 2 months now. But I watched some porn lately. I feel that this messes up with my dopamine. I recently got back my OCD so I think that these 2 can be related. I also fantasied a lot during spiritual times. I was feeling this orgasmic energy but I also fantasied so this energy could move more efficiently and I had more control over it. I’m not sure that I should do that. I tried masturbation without porn but after orgasm I felt that energetically my right side of body gets “closed”. All this energy is usually in left side. Also when I got spasms before sleeping I usually get them in the left side of my belly. When I don’t masturbate I can feel that energy is building up inside me. It’s not that easy to control my thinking. I have more anxiety.
My dominating emotions are anger and anxiety. I can hear humming noise in my head almost all the time. I’m just so tired of this. I have depression on and off for five years now. My family is really worried. I just want to get a job or money just so my parents don’t have to pay for my living. I’m really worried that if another “energy awakening” happens or some major incident (like floaters) happens I won’t be able to go through this. I just feel so stuck and tired. I can’t get free. I’m so much in my head. I’m constantly on edge because I’m afraid of another “energy awakening”.
I never wanted this, never was interested in awakening. I knew that connection to God is important but not like this. If there is anything to stop it, tell me please. I just want to live regular live.
There is so much stuff that I did during my most spiritual time that I haven’t found that anybody else was doing. It’s like I think I was forcing a lot. I found this blog that seems that is written by a really educated guy. He says that these kind of experiences happened because of wrong spiritual practices and imagining/thinking too much and it seems that this is all that I was doing for a long time.
I tried advice that I found on the internet. Like walking barefoot, eating more meat and root vegetables, heavy lifting. That helped me but for short time. I started to feel energetic and I had motivation to create art but my libido kicked in and I masturbated (without porn or fantasy) once a week for few weeks and that mojo vanished. Maybe I shouldn’t masturbate and it would got even better but at the same time I should say that despite feeling better mentally there still was this fear.
The most popular advices that I found are opening front channel for getting your energy from head to ground (or stomach or genitals, I can’t remember). But I haven’t tried it because I don’t want to mess up with energy again. I live in a small town in Poland and there are not any people that could help me with energy. There are no kundalini gurus or at least I haven’t found them yet. I also don’t have any money so I can’t go to place where I could found one.
So what can I do? How I can stop it or reverse it? How I can live normal live again? What can I do if this “energy awakening” happen again? How I can calm it down? |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2018 : 1:32:31 PM
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Hello COLORY89
I saw your first post yesterday and I meant to read it when I had a bit more time. It does help to have a shorter version of it, thank you.
First, let me reassure you that what you're going through is temporary. It will settle down sooner or later. And yes, there are things you can do to help it settle down. The problem will go away gradually, so if you still get the odd day when you're feeling a bit anxious, don't be disheartened. It just takes a bit of time to get back to normal.
The advice you received about eating a heavier diet, including meat, is good advice. Stay clear of fasting.
Taking moderate exercise helps too. Not too intense, as that can nudge the energy. Two hours walking each day can help a lot.
Go out with friends. It's great you have started to enjoy it. It helps ground the energy.
Finding work would be good. Go for something physical, not spending all day in front of a computer screen, but something that keeps you moving and gets your body tired by the end of the day. If you're worried about not keeping up with the daily schedule of a job, do some sort of physical work on a voluntary basis. Start an apprenticeship of some kind. Maybe it won't be what you want to do in the long term, but some manual skills (construction? farming?) can be handy. Why not look around, see if anyone can do with an extra pair of hands somewhere in or around your town?
Go dating. Find yourself a girlfriend. The need for physical intimacy is normal for somebody your age.
Stay clear of weed. That messes things up big time. Alcohol is not a great idea either. Just eat healthily and avoid very sugary foods.
quote:
Originally posted by COLORY89
The most popular advices that I found are opening front channel for getting your energy from head to ground (or stomach or genitals, I can’t remember). But I haven’t tried it because I don’t want to mess up with energy again.
I would agree with your cautious reaction there. Stay away from energy work. Aim to lead a normal life.
If you ever wish to take up any kind of spiritual practices at any point in future, you should always, always start with meditation. Working with the energy without having a solid mediation practice first can lead to the sort of problems you described in your post.
Good luck. Come back and let us know how you get on with your grounding schedule. |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Jan 28 2018 1:35:20 PM |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2018 : 8:25:09 PM
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How to calm it down is to take your attention off of it. It'll calm down eventually, if you do that. But it's new and interesting, so it's hard to do. When it starts to lighten up, you might still ramp it up with attention.
Listen, I've had suicidial thoughts and even homicidial thoughts, but I'm not doing either. I know what suicide does to a family. Not going there. It's fine to say to yourself, Hell no, 'til you have enough silence or peace to let the weirdo thoughts come and be at peace with them without acting them out. |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2018 : 01:20:27 AM
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Hi COLORY89, welcome my friend and I’m so sorry to hear the struggles you’ve been having. With a psychotherapeutic background professionally I might add a few things that came to mind... as I see it there can be a lot of overlap with intense spiritual awakenings and symptoms and mental illness (schizophrenia/psychosis) to varying degrees- oftentimes spiritual awakenings can trigger schizophrenia in people who have those tendencies. I think it’s a fine line and different for everyone.
Considering you were hospitalized... are you currently being overseen by psychiatrist? Do you still have suicidal tendencies? If so, it’s important that your psychiatrist is aware of that always. I’m personally not a fan of meds in general but when it comes certain situations or psychotic symptoms meds may be needed to function in daily life at least for a given time. I am, however not a psychiatrist.
Ideally I would recommend seeking more of a holistically minded psychiatrist if possible-one who may be familiar the ins and outs of kundalini awakenings. Tough to find but they do exist.
When a Kundalini awakening is affecting your ability to function in a healthy manner it’s important to seek help- which it sounds like you are doing.
Not sure how all that lands on your end, but in short my suggestions would be: staying in touch with psychiatrist regularly, stay on meds if that’s your agreed upon treatment plan, 12 Step recovery groups are great community groups that can offer wonderful support, do energy healing such as have reiki session etc. If you can financially afford it and have the time, do Ayurveda Panchakarma (a dream of mine to do one day), and continue yoga if you find that helpful.
Sending prayers and healing thoughts to you today COLORY89
 C |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2018 : 01:32:24 AM
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| Lalow, Just read your comment above and just wanted to ask if you have spoken to any therapist or professional about suicidal or homicidal thoughts? I highly recommend it with respect to your safety and others. Please know my recommendation is from a loving place. C |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2018 : 10:35:09 AM
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Hi Chard,
They come from back of the brain, things I wasn't aware of before meditation. I've told my all my family and friends. They have told me they have them, too. I'm not about to act them out, so I just figured they were normal. I can let them go. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2018 : 11:05:09 AM
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| P.S. I sometimes wonder why the heck spiritual people can't see darkness in themselves. Regular people can. I'm less interested in presenting myself as something I'm not, even though I can sorta see through the self. Yeah, I've had those thoughts, but I'm not dead and didn't kill anyone. I didn't even know I was capable of them. What a pipe dream! |
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COLORY89
Poland
6 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2018 : 09:19:23 AM
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Thank you all for your responses, I really appreciate them:)
Currently I'm trying to imply some of your advices. They're really great. I got to say that it was actually a good feeling to just tell my story just as it is and find so much support. It's not a story that I can tell my family or my friends because they would send me back to the psychiatric hospital;) It was nice to hear that someone feel sorry for me and understand what I'm really going through and doesn't think that I'm just deppressed.
Afer reading all responses on many forums I think I come with some conclusions why it all happened as it happened.I think I was forcing a lot. I was too much in my head and I was trying to understand everything that I was feeling. I think this is what I was doing wrong. In my "most spiritual" months right before hospitalization I was acting on every thought/feeling, especially those connected to fear. If I was doing something and fear came up, I was trying imeddiately to go into this fear especially on the level of thinking. Usually it resulted in magnifying this fear and dwelling on it for many hours until I was completly exhausted. Maybe in the begining I was trying to just feel that fear, but I think that with time this fears started getting quite irrational and I was trying to understand the message behind this fear instead just trying to process it through just feeling them without judging. So I was living in constant fear for a few months and I think that I conditioned my subconcious mind so well in showing me my deepest fears that almost every day I was dealing with something. Not because kundalini wanted to clear my fears but because I conditioned myself to act upon every thought or feeling. After few months of such practices my body just gave up and kundalini just explosed through my canals. Right now I'm not doing any spiritual practice because I wanted all the energy to settle.
It's about 8 months since my worst days. During that time I haven't felt kundalini. I was feeling like I was stuck and that it's still not over. And few days ago my kundalini awaken again. I think the energy in my body build up so much that it had to move up.
This time when kundalini was doing it's clearing I wasn't in my head and I was just trying to feel without judging. It wasn't easy but I think that was the thing that I should do. Yesterday the energy was keeping me awake almost all night, today I feel really tired but at the same time I'm able to do the things that I planed.
I don't go to therapist anymore because it's another thing that triggers me to think about my emotions and process them through thinking instead of just feeling them which right now is the thing that I think I am soupposed to do.
@Chard I'm seeing my psychiatrist once every month or two and she thinks that I take antidepressants but I don't take them so I just go there that my parents won't worry. |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2018 : 9:16:21 PM
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helios1
Italy
1 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2018 : 11:28:41 AM
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Dear Colory89,
I wish I would have started my comment to your story in a different and milder way but if it can be of some relief (but it's not I know) I'M ALMOST IN THE SAME ****ING SITUATION... I JUST REPEAT IT... THE SAME ****ING SITUATION. I beg sorry for these heavy words to all of you but it's a cross that is too difficult to carry... at least form me. I'm 28 as well and I'm from a town of southern Italy... of Puglia more precisely. Just for you to know and I guess it happened the same to you... I'm also finding so hard to write these lines.... in our situation any attempt of sane and deep concentration is gone. I share lots of features and shades of your story but, in my case, I didn't go to any psychiatric hospital and I didn't go that mad (it's not your fault brother...at all). Deo gratia, it looks to be a bit less hard in my case, however I still have most of the symptoms which started at the beginning of this "journey" (I don't want to read or listen to this word anymore). It's very curious and wierd because everything broke out to me in 2015 as well when I started to feel tired and more tired as days went by. The more I was tired the less sexual energy and sperm production I noticed. This was the main turning point of my story.... I started to notice that my sexual drive,libido,energy, erection and all the related stuffs becoming weaker and weaker. I started to worry a lot about but, on the other hand, I was at the university, sharing a flat with other people, drinking too much coffee perhpas, having not that healthy lifestyle but it was everything strange however because I've always been an energetic guy... very energetic and full of enthusiasm towards life, friends, trips, studies and all the positive and joyful aspects of life. I had also reached a good level of self-esteem even though after years of struggles and insecurities. I was pushed by life to work a lot on many aspects of my personality in order to become stronger and I did it. I spent most the university years in a great way, having fun but studying and achieving almost top results as well. Anyway, as it happened to you, I've been (and I'm still working on that) a porn addict for many many years but more than porn addicted a true lover of the other sex. This part of the story takes too many words but we can speak about that through private messages if you want. I also promised to myself not to masturbate for some periods and I can state that the results of that decisions were really good such as more sexual drive, more self-esteem, more positivity and more gear to go to real women (of every age ahhaha) rather than watching that fake and disgusting porn. Anyway, as in your case, after some months becoming weaker and weaker and after my graduation, I went back to my hometown and I used to complain and to lament with my loving mother that I was feeling strange and not the same as before. The day of doom arrived. I was having lunch but I told my parents that I needed to go to bed and rest. I was on my bed and all of a sudden I started to feel my nervous system moving, my fingers moving and a sense of total weakness and disgust. My penis, already limp and dead for the past few months, started to become smaller and I define it "sick" as when you have high temperature. It became so small and full of blood vessels. I wasn't able to think, to remember, to associate ideas, I felt like having a huge blocks on my brain, I couldn't feel part of my body and my legs especially, I felt like I was up to die. I told my mom sorry for everything but I think I'm going to pass away soon... I have a cancer perhaps or multiple sclerosis or other death inflicting illnesses. I’ll list here the main symptoms (not in chronological or importance order) that I had at the beginning (1-2 years) of this so-called “process”:
- Extreme weakness and tiredeness;
- Limp genitals and alteration of the same…. penis becoming smaller and full of blood vessels;
- Stomach ache, extreme nausea and diarrea;
- Huge pains in legs, arms and especially felt in feet and palms;
- Energy or heat exiting the body as if I was an hair-dryer ex. If I took (it happens today) a piece of paper in my hands, the same piece of paper moved like a small flag in the wind.
- Confusion, racing thoughts, obsessive thoughs of being gay or transexual, loss of memory;
- Whole Nervous system cracking, cracking jaw and difficulty to walk;
- Feeling twisted from inside;
- Not able to read or to concetrate;
- Panic attack and super fast heart beating;
- Nose bleeding;
- Backache and steady pumping at the base of the spine…. I think the pumping is in the sacral chakra and not in the muladhara;
- Skin falling down, developing psioriasis, fat hair and graying beard;
- Changes in relationships, losing friends and loneliness;
- Feeling of disconnection between muscles and the nervous system;
- Digestive problems, pumped belly and gaining fat;
- Sperm production close to the zero level and low sexual pulse;
- Feeling very angry and alone, miserable and not able to sustain this suffering…etc. etc.
In the meantime, having not accepted the situation and feeling frustrated as ever and having been checked by several doctors that had nothing to say, I tried to go ahead and I applied for an internship in 2016, resigned, started a new one in 2017 and finished and started another one in february 2018. The point is that this condition makes you bad and not fully efficient at work and, as a result, I had some troubles at work because of lack of concentration, strenght and depression. At the same time, I tried to find some alternative solutions other than praying, spiritual readings and asking for mercy to the sky. These solutions were:
- Tarot Reading: health was completely ok but the problem was my overthinking, doubts, insecurity etc. etc.
- Vedic astrology reading: I contacted a super astrologer and not the ones that you find easily on the market….(a contact from a friend) He gives few reading and very spirituality oriented. However… the same… it was my brain the cause of the symptoms and the suggestion was that I had to be in contact, someway/somehow, with a psychologist because I was developing a kind of mental illness. According to the astrologer, even if without money at that moment (still it is), I had to find any possible way to meet a good psychologist to speak about my problems. I also told him about the sexual energy related facts and he told me that I was the cause of the situation and that the same energy was killing me etc….. in short, I/we are the cause of everything because of the past karmas…. I’m forced to be celibate because of this and that…….etc ( I won’t go deep in this topic because it doens’t have an end); this was the first astology reading but I looked for others in the meanwhile because of the immense desperation I was feeling: every astrologer with different ideas or the same ideas with different shades…. As a result, It’s always a total mess.
- Desperate because I thought I wasn’t mad and that those symptoms were real, I massively surfed the Internet in order to intuitively find a good spiritual psychologist possessing broad views. I didn’t need someone who told me that I had to find a girlfriend and have sex to forget everything and that ups and downs are normal in human lives. Hence, I found this psychologist who was the only one able to believe me (the other one to believe is my mother but I don’t think she does completely). The psychologist told me that those energy movements were, indeed, kundalini related symptoms. I use to meet him whenever I could afford it even though the doctor heavily discounted his fee in order to allow me to have some help and I’m still immensely grateful to him.
After an odissey of 3 years and all the suggestions, opinions, stories that I’ve heard, these are the symptoms that I still feel today:
- Depression, low energy and partial weakness;
- Feeling of being lost and deep doubt;
- Anger;
- Low libido, low sperm and limp penis (just a bit better compared to the beggining however), I never had a spontaneous erection anymore;
- Spams, itching but in a less quantity;
- Strange thoughts especially regarding sex and relationships;
- Thoughts about retiring in a convent or unsure about wanting sex;
- A kind of block to the heart;
- Beating in the sacral chackra or that area;
- Extreme feelings of insecurity, of not being able to perform activites and of being very ugly and not attractive anymore;
- Loosing no fat even without eating;
- Parts of the nervous system or articulations twisted or cracking.
Because of the memory and awarness issues I cannot now remember or lists all the symptoms that I have and that I had. I’ll give you some other comments in a second part given that few daily energy is left for writing.
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2018 : 3:29:36 PM
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Hi Helios
Regarding Vedic Astrology .... a lot depends on the Dasa (major planetary cycle) you are currently running. For example ---
In Rahu Dasa, the first and last few years can be very challenging/ misery producing, but the middle planetary period is usually okay, or at least not so hard.
Saturn is a cold and constrictive energy so Saturn Dasa is another challenging one - unless there is temporally benefic Saturn, by placement, in either Rasi or Navamsa charts. Even with a benefic Saturn, that cycle is likely to produce a few difficult challenges, along with some very productive opportunities.
Sudden weight gain, not being able to lose weight, can happen at the beginning, or any time, during Jupiter Dasa. Relative to the other planets orbiting our Sun (which, by comparison, is gigantic), Jupiter has a great deal more mass, hence the tendency to pack the weight on, in that Dasa. Jupiter is a fun loving expansive planet and therefore not usually a difficult period. Following the Jupiter cycle is Saturn, and in Saturn Dasa that additional weight will (probably) be lost.
During Saturn cycle we usually can't relax enough. While in Jupiter cycle, too much relaxing can make us fat and lethargic. I'm ordinarily thin but in my Jupiter cycle gained quite a bit of weight and got kinda lazy.
The intrinsic value of a Vedic Astrology reading is knowing how long the misery is supposed to last, when you can perhaps look for relief, and what measures can be employed in the meantime to mitigate suffering. In a Saturn Dasa, one simply has to ride it out .... possibly taking up a hobby or spiritual practice that involves discipline and learning something new. Saturn energies promote the focusing of our attention, analysis, learning, planning and implementing strategy. |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2018 : 06:59:46 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by helios1
- Depression, low energy and partial weakness;
- Feeling of being lost and deep doubt;
- Anger;
- Low libido, low sperm and limp penis (just a bit better compared to the beggining however), I never had a spontaneous erection anymore;
- Spams, itching but in a less quantity;
- Strange thoughts especially regarding sex and relationships;
- Thoughts about retiring in a convent or unsure about wanting sex;
- A kind of block to the heart;
- Beating in the sacral chackra or that area;
- Extreme feelings of insecurity, of not being able to perform activites and of being very ugly and not attractive anymore;
- Loosing no fat even without eating;
- Parts of the nervous system or articulations twisted or cracking.
Hello Helios,
Considering the symptoms you are dealing with, you may want to start exercising at least ONE HOUR EVERY DAY. It could be walking (at a moderate fast speed), swimming, biking, hiking, etc. Do this for two weeks, every day, and then re-evaluate to see if this works for you. You will be surprised by the results.
Also, consider eating a whole food diet (with little to no animal products, and lots of fresh veggies and fruit). What we eat is like a drug - it can heal or make us sick. Changing how we eat seems hard, but it is easier than you think - it is just a matter of habit. Eat a bowl of boiled whole grains with some steamed apples for breakfast tommorrow, and see how you feel.
Keep in touch with your psychologist.
Let us know how you are doing.
Warm wishes
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Edited by - Blanche on Aug 19 2018 07:00:47 AM |
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Kundalini syndrome/psychosis story. (much shorter)
