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Chard
250 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 30 2017 : 01:40:55 AM
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Hi All, Just wondering what your perspective is on Ascension vs. Kundalini Awakening?
In my experience, I had my K awakening 11 yrs ago with electricity running haywire throughout my body, surge of creativity, tears, yearning, tears, fears, etc. etc lasting perhaps a little under a year and then stabilizing for pretty much 10 years.
Then this past April, boom another major unexpected kundalini activation, but this time its different. When I google- Ascension is the best term. Yes, the tears, the yearning, the dark nights, the burst in creativity, but the symptoms are different. Its like another wave of growth except this time I have kids to contend with and having just moved so there's pressure to stay grounded. Some symptoms I've been experiencing are: feeling spaced out, like I'm on a different plane than those around me and bored by alot of the ins and outs of life, seeing number 11 at least 7 times a day no joke, crazy synronicities, an overwhelming desire to live from my heart, pour my heart out into the world somehow, be in union with my divine counterpart, spiritually serve on a larger level however I'm meant to, shed the layers of my ego, cry, cry, yearn, feel like I went a little higher, cry, yearn, cry more, feel a little clearer, feel isolated, somehow do the 3D dance with my husband hearing my soul scream "wrong person!!" and I say to my soul "shut up!! I have kids and a family with him!!" wrestling with my soul's desire vs ego's need for security, my soul having more of a voice than before, more surrender, not giving a sh*t anymore what people think, living from my heart more, regularly feeling a bubble of energy on my heart everyday (like a mother with a fetus), poetry streaming out of me, feeling like I could have multiple orgasms at any point throughout the day (while needing to somehow focus on my kids!)...
I give up... i just need a place to share this honestly where there are people who can relate.
I'm trying to remember things I can change vs things I can't but this is really hard. Frankly I don't wish this upon anyone and sometimes I just wish I could "be normal" - you know what I mean!
My meditation is going well. I"m taking break from Kechari and spinal breathing. I don't think adjusting practices will help here whereas it did with my K awakening. I'm getting out in nature but I think I just have to sit through this crazy and hard phase in my life right now. It feels like I'm transitioning not just geographically but internally. The part that makes it really hard is the loneliness and not feeling like I really have people in my life who have gone through this to talk about it with. Yet I'm grateful to go on YouTube and hear people share about similar experiences and know that I'm not alone and that there is support out there.
Well I've said enough. Thank you for listening! I just needed to share that all and step out of feeling isolated. It takes alot of courage for me to share these things. Love your feedback...
Blessings all, C
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Edited by - Chard on Nov 30 2017 01:57:36 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2017 : 10:25:41 AM
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Hello Chard
It sounds like you're going through a pretty intense spell of purification at the moment. If it's becoming uncomfortable, the meditation routine may need to be reviewed as well. Are you doing DM? I AM or an enhancement? And for how long/how many times a day?
Best wishes  |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2017 : 7:40:59 PM
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Hi Chard,
I agree with Blue. I'm sure many here have gone through this. Self-pace and ground.
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2017 : 02:33:30 AM
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Hi Chard,
Lesson 392 might give you insight.
Keep going |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2017 : 05:58:34 AM
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quote:
The quest for Love can go on for a long time. If you’re lucky, it disappoints you quickly.
It rings so true.
I would just remove the capital "L", as the "Love" in the first sentence is the lower case "love" (is it even love?) - the needy kind, that can and will be disappointed.
I think the English language could do with a few more words for "love". The Spanish appear to be closer to the truth, as they use "querer" (which is a "want") in most situations where an English speaker would use "love". |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2017 : 11:26:46 AM
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| . Or as Yogani says Divine Love and Human Love. |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2017 : 11:47:30 PM
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Thank you beautiful souls for your feedback. Both articles were great and helpful and I really appreciate all of your support on this journey. etc. I know this journey is about diving more fully into my own self and expanding within my self, clearing blockages to this Divine energy within me. I've been continuing down my 20 min. deep meditation with samyama at least once and mostly 2x per day.
I feel like I'm in a better place than last week. I've been guided to do alot of self-care right now so I sprung for a 90 min. massage a few days ago and did an amazing holographic healing session today that I feel like really shifted some things for me and helped to ground me. I was told that I really need to focus on grounding myself especially since everything (where we live) is really new for me right now. I find energy work really helpful. So I'm grateful for that.
I'm also just staying really honest and transparent with my husband about my thoughts and feelings without trying to protect his ego and just asking him to walk through this all with me. Otherwise I'm finding I just cannot be in an intimate relationship with anyone without complete freedom of self-expression. I just cannot hide myself. So we'll see. Perhaps this is all a lesson for him in letting go of his ego and standing with me asking "God/Divine, may we all just do thy will, whatever is Your highest good, may it prevail whatever that means for us."
So anyway, thank you again my friends for your support! Much love to u all!
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2017 : 5:02:45 PM
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| You are doing great, Chard. We are in similar stage in life with many responsibilities that comes with family, young kids, work and so on. I understand what you are going through. As they say to everything there is a season. Hang in there. |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2017 : 01:07:33 AM
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Thank you Sunyata! I appreciate hearing that and all the support from this forum. Perhaps in the end I'll get to buy myself the shirt that says "I Survived the Ascension Process" or whatever this is!!
Many of you have also mentioned that there have been alot of changes for me and I do think I perhaps have underestimated the full impact of uprooting myself from a place I have lived for 38 years (where ancestrally there are roots 6 generations deep) to just make a leap of faith and drive cross country to what in many ways feels like a different country. My soul is supremely happy and at peace here, but it's been like an identity crisis mentally, emotionally, spiritually, maritally... in every respect. To be honest, I feel like I'm still floating and not yet rooted and grounded here. It's been a real shock to my whole system to make the change- a change that I haven't regretted for an instance and feel so happy about. Then landing here and being witness to all these major devastating wildfires (a phenomenon that's totally foreign and scary to me) north and south of me but not in my actual area and hearing how its just a fact of life here. So I'm going to give myself a break here and just say it's ok whatever I'm feeling and going through. There's a season for everything. Thank you everyone for just being here for me...
C |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2017 : 12:45:35 AM
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| Wondering another question...during your awakening times have u all felt tired? I know I’m not pregnant but I feel like I’m in my first trimester of pregnancy with tiredness I’m having. I don’t believe I’m having medical issue - I do believe it’s spiritual purification but I’m not someone who really ever naps unless I’m really tired and it’s like at times my energy is totally depleted even if I haven’t done anything and it’s like I can’t resist napping. I napped an hour yesterday and an hour and a half after doing healing session the other day. I just feel a lot of internal shedding. Only thing to equate is first trimester pregnancy...anyone else experienced this?C |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2017 : 02:56:42 AM
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Hi Chard,
I remember after awakening that I started to really listen to this body. I also remember that I had maybe for a year or maybe even longer an incredible need to relax and do absolutely nothing. Just resonating with my own very high energy vibration. That was of course not always possible but I took every possibility to relax and to sleep. Looking back I don't think I was feeling tired, because of the energy, I had the urge to turn inwards and had to get used to 'the new me'.
Before I was a perfectionist with a high drive to do everything myself and relaxing was not in my dictionary. |
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capucine
France
66 Posts |
Posted - Dec 14 2017 : 03:17:38 AM
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I feel very tired too, like every winter. I cannot compare to pregnancy, I've never been pregnant.
For me, it's due to short days, rainy weather, not enough sunlight. If you can nap, listen yourself and nap without feeling guilty |
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Ascension
