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findingpath
8 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 18 2017 : 07:12:28 AM
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Hello everyone, I do yoga for some time and I already have got the personal mantra and the mala necklace from my guru whose I got at deeksha ceremony. He created a yoga system which helped me a lot with various health troubles. I feel great when I do asanas, pranayama, meditations etc. Everything seems to be great.
Until now. I have found some very disturbing information about my guru. There are multiple reports and accusations for sexual abuse, defraudation, manipulative and aggressive behavior. I was shocked, and now I can not trust him anymore. I don't know if that information was true, but any thought about him makes me sick.
What should I do ? I want to do yoga and that should be okay because yoga lessons are led by local yoga teacher not the guru. So it is possible to do yoga everyday at home or yoga studio with group and ignore that guru is probably a bad person. But I'm in doubt about my personal mantra and mala. Should I use these further ? Could be that mantra or mala (from guru that do bad things) has bad influence on me ? I cannot even translate that mantra but maybe it's only because I don't know how to use Sanskrit dictionary properly.
At deeksha, guru said that we have only one guru for life. And I think he said something similar about the mala too. Is it true ? Also I think that everyone at deeksha that day has got the same mantra. Is personal mantra important anyway ? Should I do the mala rounds with some common mantra ?
Please, write down your opinions and ideas, anything is welcomed. I don't want to talk about this topic with people from my yoga organization. I don't know why but I feel that talking with other members about this topic could not help anybody.
PS: Sorry for my english, if I made some mistakes :) |
Edited by - findingpath on Oct 18 2017 07:17:02 AM |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2017 : 08:06:57 AM
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Welcome to the forum FindingPath. All humans have flaws. But here in AYP, we are repeatedly guided that the Guru is within us. The guru within us is known as the Sadguru. If you decide to follow your earlier system, you may have to abide by their terms. AYP lessons are here for your study and use if you decide to adopt this system.
Anyway, wishing you all the very best
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findingpath
8 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2017 : 08:35:56 AM
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| Jusmail, thank you for your quick response. I'm wishing you all the best too. I'm going to study AYP lessons for sure, I want to know more about yoga. Fortunately, I don't have to follow any specific terms at regular yoga lessons so I can continue with my daily practice. But what do you think about personal mantra and the mala ? Are they safe to use ? |
Edited by - findingpath on Oct 18 2017 08:44:55 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2017 : 09:45:18 AM
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Hi findingpath,
Welcome to AYP forum. 
If you're feelings about the guru, the personal mantra and the mala are not pure and loving anymore, personally I would leave them behind. Maybe they won't harm you, but they will not do you good either if there is no faith.
It is your decision if you would like to go on with the yoga lessons. If you can see the lessons as a journey to yourSelf, and you have faith in the teacher and a loving group of people to practice together (not attached to the guru) then it will be possible. If you see the system attached to the guru it will be not so easy.
It will do no harm to read upon AYP, all advanced yoga practices are to find in open source step by step lessons written by Yogani, the wise teacher who doesn't want to be a guru. You can start reading here
This AYP open source system will lead you to the guru inside as jusmail said, all it takes is your dedication to daily practice.
If there are more questions don't hesitate to ask here on the forum.
Best wishes 
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Edited by - Charliedog on Oct 18 2017 09:56:02 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2017 : 10:05:58 AM
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Hello findingpath, welcome!
I had a similar experience to yours, it it's more than 20 years ago now. I can definitely say there is no reason why you should have only one guru for life. As Yogani says, it is the teaching that is important. The people from whom you get it can be different over the years. Indeed, I am suspicious of gurus who want to tie you to themselves. I think every practitioner should be free to follow their gut feeling and seek the means to progress. We don't want to change course willy-nilly, but if a system of yoga doesn't serve you, looking for another that does help you progress makes perfect sense.
I completely relate to what you say about being unsure about your meditation practice. I had the same feeling all those years back. When I found myself unable to trust my teacher, I was still fine with the yoga poses and the more basic part of the teaching, but doing the more advanced practices raised the question: "If I'm practicing what this guru has been practicing, am I going to end up like him?" He was not a good model, and so his teaching lost its value to me.
When I found AYP, I thought I could trust Yogani because he was clearly no seeking to raise his status, nor become rich from teaching yoga. Quite the contrary. He has stuck to the principle that it is the teaching that is important.
I hope you will find clarity about your path soon. |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2017 : 11:40:35 AM
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Welcome FindingPath
I agree that you should move on from the mantra and mala, for they are tied to unsettled feelings surrounding this guru. But you are not rudderless, for you have open source yoga information right here on this site. All answers are available within you, it is a matter of putting in the discipline and fostering the desire of/from a meditation practice to access the source. Understanding comes from delving into silence and prana on a daily basis, preparing your neurobiology to radiate Divine Flow. And here at AYP you have a community to help you along the way. No need to surrender to another, surrender within.  |
Edited by - Dogboy on Oct 18 2017 9:01:47 PM |
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Beehive
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2017 : 1:54:26 PM
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| Hi findingpath... That does sound so upsetting. But viewing this from a distance it really does look like a gift. The first thing I noticed was that the system of yoga he created helped you a lot with various health issues. For that alone I would try to flood my being with appreciation. The second thing is that it looks like a gift because it presented an opportunity to question the beliefs associated with this guru. Those believes, if left unquestioned could have long range effects you wouldn't like. It's never easy to be in the uncomfortable spot but you are lucky; you ended up here! With great information and great loving people to help comfort and inspire you. I've taken refuge here many times Yogani said that as we move forward, the resources we need come as we need them. Looks like that is happening for you! Everyone's already recommended reading the lessons. I have loved the loving simplicity Yogani teaches; especially at times when life seemed the most confusing. |
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findingpath
8 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2017 : 02:10:32 AM
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| Thank you all very much, I'm very happy that I have found this site. Thank you all for sharing your ideas and experiences. Reading your posts really brings a relief to my mind |
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Doubts about guru
