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traveller
USA
5 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 13 2017 : 2:40:17 PM
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Greetings all,
This is my first post and I would like to begin by thanking Yogani and all of you for creating this online community. It seems very remarkable to me to have such a wealth of knowledge and experience centralized in one easily accessible place, so cheers and blessings to you all.
I have recently begun doing a DM practice. I am doing 20 minutes with 5-10 minute rest, either once or twice per day as my schedule allows. I started maybe three weeks ago, although I have had a handful of days here and there where I did not practice DM due to some very difficult things arising in (and after) my practice.
I have read the ebook on DM and many of the free lessons on the site concerning DM practice. I have also read many many posts in the archives of this forum, and done targeted searches for more info relating to my experience. So I understand that what I'm experiencing may not be unique, and that it is likely just purification and the releasing of past karmas. I do have a few questions I'd like to ask though, and I guess I also just want to share my experience with the community and get your take on it.
From my very first DM I have felt some purification taking place. This has been in the form of mental chatter, thoughts, and emotions arising. Sometimes it's not so bad, and other times it's a challenge to keep with the mantra, which I am generally able to return to. But what I want to discuss with you all is not what's happening IN my mediation, but later on in the day after it.
I've had a few extremely vivid memories come to me out of nowhere since beginning DM, and almost always on days where I have done DM in the morning. Some of these have pretty much blown my mind as it is literally stuff that I haven't thought about or "seen" in my mind in many years. Most, but not all of these are from childhood. I do actually spend a good amount of time thinking about the past, but these are things that I've completely forgotten. Unpleasant memories of stuff I thought I'd dealt with, or that was OK, but when the memory and sensation comes up, I realize it's not OK, and never was.
And this is the really strange part to me... the memories aren't just mental. I am having what feels like emotional memory--in that I "remember" with my emotions, just how something felt when I was 22 years old and living a very destructive lifestyle, or when I was 10 years old in a very dysfunctional and emotionally abusive family. The actual feelings that I felt during those times come back to me, and I feel them now, and it's extremely shocking and unnerving. This can be happening in the middle of the day when I'm doing stuff, at work, or even at the grocery store.
I've even had a few sensory memories--just today I swear I could taste a shrimp dish I used to eat when I was a kid, something I haven't thought about in forever...and to add to that weirdness, I'm actually allergic to shrimp now, and have been for half my life! So you can imagine what a weird sensation that is.
I've really never experienced anything like this. The only thing I can liken it to is a bad trip, or experiences I've had with psychoactive substances in my younger years where bad memories would come roaring back. I had a pretty rough go of it when I was a kid and as a younger man I engaged in many destructive tendencies that only made my emotional and mental state worse.
Now, at the age of 35 I feel like I've been getting into a much better place overall in my life. I have many healthy habits and I'm pretty happy most of the time. I really try to avoid the dark places where my mind and emotions dwelled for many years, so engaging in this DM practice only to be placed precisely back into those dark places, and even more intensely, has me questioning what I'm doing and if I wish to continue. There are some things that I just don't want to remember. I've had enough sadness and loss in my life as it is, and having dwelled on those things for a long time I'm really not eager to spend any of my waking moments back there again.
So that brings me to my questions...
Is all this essentially normal purification? And if so, will self pacing via reducing my DM practice session time help slow this down? Or does it have to be met head on?
Some of these memories and sensations create so much disruption in my daily life that it makes me wonder if this is even for me in the first place. I guess what I'm saying is that it puts me in a scary place, and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am still intrigued, but a little bit unsure about how much I want to continue. Can anyone relate to this experience? does it get better with time?
If I DO keep meditating, do I need to also "do" anything bout these memories, emotions, or any anger that arises? Do they signify that I have left something unsettled that must be addressed in another area of my life (i.e., beyond meditation?)
I've read in past posts that this sort of residue in the nervous system can be referred to as karma. Can anyone point me towards resources that explain this phenomenon in greater detail? I'm very intrigued by this definition of karma and would love to learn more.
Lastly, I'm wondering how TM practitioners deal with this situation. I found DM by searching for alternatives to TM, and understand it to be a similar style of meditation. I would then expect it to produce similar results. In DM, as I understand it, we have self pacing and other avenues for dealing with difficulties that arise in meditation. As regards TM, I honestly only ever hear how great it is from the very first session and I never see anyone mention these sorts of difficult memories or thoughts arising. But it seems like they would have to, if that is indeed a function of this form of meditation. Can anyone speak to this?
Ok, that was a ton of questions. I hope they make sense, and I thank you all for reading! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 13 2017 : 5:30:42 PM
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Great post.
To begin with, I'm also 35, so there's a nice little coincidence.
I've had to back off practices at times (self-pacing) due to some uncomfortable symptoms. It's definitely totally normal. Most of my self-pacing has come in response to sensations of too much friction, which is when purification is rubbing up against obstructions too intensely.
When it comes to strong memories, that has all been food for my bhakti. There's certainly been a range of lucidity in that regard. Whether the emotional memories are positive or negative, they all get directed to my chosen ideal, and that is the kicker. It's that channeling and funneling that has made a big difference, and allowed my daily life to be increasingly fertile. It's not just a matter of being passive with awareness; it's about molding and shaping the landscape with the emotional content that arises. And I do that with finesse as well as high intensity.
So, it's a balance between backing off and taking a warrior stance by utilizing the emotional energy for visionary and action-oriented purposes. For true empowerment to occur, there must be an invocation and mastery of the raw energy—a refinement. It's helpful to realize that all is Self, whether it be the darkest shadows or the brightest light. Then it's all regarded as scenery within Oneness, and things become much more fluid and smooth.
I've had a few bad trips with psychedelics, and AYP has been my main toolbox for recovery and transformation, so you are in a good place. The main thing is to balance the finesse with the warrior spirit. It's very achievable.
Love. Radiance. Unity.  |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Jul 13 2017 : 11:14:48 PM
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Welcome Traveller (aren't we all? )
Yes this is normal purification and yes, you should back down practice with discomfort. My purification the first year was fast and furious for me, but also left quickly and I was able to get right back on schedule. Results obviously vary yogi to yogi, and only you (Guru Inyou) can move this along.
If the memories are particularly painful, or deeply buried, you need to allow the process to play out, and be there fully. Its amazing how effective residing in silence can loosen the nadis that bind us so, knots we know not of  . Reliving them fully and surrendering them can only turn out good for you. |
Edited by - Dogboy on Jul 13 2017 11:16:02 PM |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jul 14 2017 : 05:21:46 AM
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Hi traveller, welcome ,
Thank you for sharing your experiences. Yes, it is normal, this is purification, like Bodhi and Dogboy already pointed out.
Old emotions, tensions that are hidden, pushed away, will come up, they want to be seen, when seen, we feel the old pain, we have the opportunity to let it go.....
Our body and mind is a storehouse filled with old stuff, we can compare the obstacles for instance with a ball. What we do is keeping it under water and as soon as we relax, the ball or obstacles come to the surface. Keeping the ball under water costs energy, gives tension in the body and mind.
Releasing the obstacles or old stuff will sometimes be easy, like for instance a whole part of our life is seen, understood and released while we are taking a shower, sometimes we see loving memories, a little smile comes up on our face.
Sometimes it's confrontating, painful and not so easy.
Self-pace is important in this case, taking a long walk in nature, also writing some issues down might help. Take your time.
Sometimes we need it to be in tears, sobbing.
Sometimes we just sit and may be we can be there, as the father or mother, who comforts the child we were and forgive the mistakes we made, or soothing the pain others did to us.
Do not push it away, see it for what it is, a memory, a thought or an emotion from the past we don't need anymore. It's the old story of our life, It's not you anymore, you are the one who sees the thoughts at that moment.
Still it can hurt so much....
This releasing will take time but it will become easier with our expanding inner silence because of daily practice and as time goes by. As inner silence expands we might see the source of the emotions. We learn to know ourself. We become lighter and lighter.
Do you have an asana practice? Asana will help you to release tensions in the body.
Love & Light
PS Some lessons touching your experiences.
www.aypsite.org/15.html
www.aypsite.org/25.html
edit poor english. |
Edited by - Charliedog on Jul 14 2017 07:06:25 AM |
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traveller
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - Jul 14 2017 : 4:17:19 PM
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Hi everyone,
Thank you guys so much for these thoughtful replies. There is a lot for me to work with here, and this conversation is quite instructive.
First, I will continue my practice, albeit with some self pacing. I might start with 10 minutes twice daily, or perhaps even down to 5. I should say that aside from these negative experiences, I have also noticed several constructive and helpful things that I believe are the result of my meditation--increased clarity, reduced anxiety (despite the weird emotions bubbling up), and increased patience. So I've decided that I do want to continue, but will slow it down a bit.
Bodhi, thank you for sharing your experience! It seems our lives have had some interesting congruences. I love your suggestion about taking a warrior stance to these emotions and experiences. Thus far I have just been the passive object of these emotions and memories, but it does make a lot of sense to take a pro-active stance towards channeling that energy and dealing with the difficult stuff as it arises. It seems that this will require a bit of an artful approach, as it may be tempting to try to be thick-skinned around these emotions where it seems the goal should be to feel them and process them, but not to let them have free reign over my daily life. Has this been your experience Bodhi? I am a martial artist and so I particularly like your recommendation of taking a warrior stance to these issues. I can relate well to that language.
Dogboy, thank you for your response and confirming that this is part of the path. I will stay the course, and make adjustments as necessary. The AYP method is an interesting one for many reasons, but one lesson I am learning now is being your own guru also carries a lot of responsibility for introspection and making decisions for oneself. Spiritual self-determination.
jusmail, thanks for the link--will check it out!
Charliedog, thank you for your very thoughtful response as well, and for the confirmation that this is all part of the process. I find your metaphor of the ball in water to be very useful in understanding what's going on here. And it makes a lot of sense, the energy that we spend trying to keep traumas and bad memories away, the constant shifting and juggling that is necessary to do so. When I reflect on it, I think that is exactly what I wish to get away from...the way all that bad energy and stuff continues to bubble up here and there my daily life in the first place. That is likely a large part of what has led me to seek out a practice like this in the first place. And so it figures that the releasing of these may not always be an altogether pleasant experience. Also, I really love this thought:
quote:
Do not push it away, see it for what it is, a memory, a thought or an emotion from the past we don't need anymore. It's the old story of our life, It's not you anymore, you are the one who sees the thoughts at that moment.
As for asana, I typically meditate about 20 minutes after waking up, and then do a short sun salutation. Beyond that I do not have an asana practice, though it's something I have been interested in lately. Do you have any recommendations beyond finding some more spiritually based local yoga practices?
Thanks again everyone! I am so impressed with this community and this discourse. I will adapt my practice accordingly and hope to report back positive results in the future! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 14 2017 : 7:07:46 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by traveller
Bodhi, thank you for sharing your experience! It seems our lives have had some interesting congruences. I love your suggestion about taking a warrior stance to these emotions and experiences. Thus far I have just been the passive object of these emotions and memories, but it does make a lot of sense to take a pro-active stance towards channeling that energy and dealing with the difficult stuff as it arises. It seems that this will require a bit of an artful approach, as it may be tempting to try to be thick-skinned around these emotions where it seems the goal should be to feel them and process them, but not to let them have free reign over my daily life. Has this been your experience Bodhi? I am a martial artist and so I particularly like your recommendation of taking a warrior stance to these issues. I can relate well to that language.
What kind of martial arts? I took judo for a little while and have been wanting to get back into it, and maybe Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as well. I enjoy watching UFC, which is also good fodder for bhakti.
In terms of the emotional processing, and on the note of martial arts, here's a Bruce Lee quote I've always liked:
A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Not thinking, yet not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come. When the opponent expands, I contract; and when he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, "I" do not hit, "it" hits all by itself.
So, when I'm in the zone, that is the feeling—that everything is aligned with the Ideal. If I get angry with my family, I direct that anger (mostly) to being a better yogi, massage therapist, athlete, and so forth. If I feel sad about a past event, or anxious about a future one, I breathe in the feeling and transmute the energy so that it can expand into my vision of utopia. In this manner, sadness becomes beautiful. Anxiety becomes beautiful.
Yogani has said that all emotion is the power of love. So even the rough stuff is love percolating through. From the witness perspective (inner silence), we have some degree of command in how we handle the emotions, and that is what Bruce Lee alludes to when he says that "it" hits all by itself. Undoing the doer.
Fortunately, the more we habitually ingrain AYP techniques and principles into our nervous system, the more that our reflexes/responses/instincts/intuitions will be tuned to the wavelength of ecstatic bliss. This has been my experience. However, I'm not fully satisfied. Not even close. So I persist with the refinement and mastery.
Onward, Traveller! |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2017 : 04:06:42 AM
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Hi traveller,
Useful for me in spiritual practice is the magic of 40 days. When we start a new practice, do it 40 days in row, one day no practice, we have to start again with day one.
(if self-pace is needed, listen to that)
After that 40 days a new pattern is made in our mind, a new habit is born. It learns us discipline, which we need in spiritual practice.
After the 40 days we can look back and see some change in daily life, we know what the practice does inside us and it is easy to continue.
We can use the magic of 40 days also the other way around to stop for instance with a bad habit, like unhealthy eating or drinking or smoking, to name a few.
When we look at scriptures and religion for instance we can see the 40 days regularly coming by.
Our mother had a pregnancy of 40 weeks, we took this time to grow and to be born on this planet, we need in ideal circumstances 40 days, 6 weeks of love and breastmilk from her to stay healthy and be strong enough to stay alive. To give an example.
Sun salutation is a good practice to start with, it gives energy, your spine becomes flexible etc. To learn asana I recommend a teacher, if this is not possible you can start on your own eventually.
If you decide to take lessons, try out some different lessons, from different teachers, some are very physical, it becomes a work-out then in the name of yoga. Others work more with the breath, movement follows breath, they have moments of meditation and pranayama, to give some examples.,
This lesson www.aypsite.com/71.html gives you all information about simple asana, you don't need to be flexible to start and have the benefits of asana. Everyone can do yoga, if only they practice
Keep sharing your experiences traveller, we are here to advice you and writing might give you unexpected insights in yourself. For me it is one of the most useful tools on this journey.
Wishing you a smooth journey,
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Edited by - Charliedog on Jul 15 2017 04:09:30 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2017 : 05:25:08 AM
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Quote traveller
quote:
First, I will continue my practice, albeit with some self pacing. I might start with 10 minutes twice daily, or perhaps even down to 5. I should say that aside from these negative experiences, I have also noticed several constructive and helpful things that I believe are the result of my meditation--increased clarity, reduced anxiety (despite the weird emotions bubbling up), and increased patience. So I've decided that I do want to continue, but will slow it down a bit.
Twice a day 10 minutes of DM with 5 minutes of rest will be a good startpoint |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2017 : 06:26:29 AM
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Welcome to the AYP form, Traveller!
Good to hear you've decided to stick to meditation. It is a good choice in the long run, even though some unpleasant memories are stirred up at this stage. Self-pacing is always a good idea. Have you come across Yogani's metaphor: "the art of house cleaning without raising too much dust"?
If you find you need to reduce meditation time to less than 10 minute sittings, it is recommended that you check out breath focused meditation i.e. instead of the mantra, you favour the breath with your attention.
Best wishes |
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Buffle37
Switzerland
79 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2017 : 06:36:39 AM
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Hi Traveller,
No need to worry! That you describe is very usual. It happens here many times.
In the book “Eight Limbs of Yoga”, page 34, Yogani wrote:
Imagine a pipe (our nervous system) that is pretty clogged up, so it does not carry as much water (pure bliss consciousness) as it could. So we hook the pipe up to a powerful water supply (deep meditation) and the flow through the pipe is increased, but not without some resistance to the new level of flow and quite a lot of muck will be coming out the other end of the pipe as it is being cleaned out. This is the story of purification and opening of our nervous system as the process of human spiritual transformation progresses over time. And it does take some time.
The problem is just to self-pace as necessary not to be overwhelmed by the muck.
A few years ago, I wrote this text:
La dernière veille de la nuit
Mystère des vies passées qui nous façonne encore
Lourdeurs incontrôlables, empreintes sur nos corps,
Comportements absurdes, tristesses récurrentes
La peur, l’angoisse, amies omniprésentes
Angoisse récurrente, ma compagne au long cours
Je cherche encore en vain la sortie de secours
Le jour va-t-il venir pour que l’aube à nouveau
Des brouillards de la nuit me nettoie le cerveau
In English :
The Last Vigil of the Night
Mystery of past lives that still shapes us
Uncontrollable heavers, imprints on our bodies,
Absurd Behaviors, Recurring Sadness
Fear, anxiety, omnipresent friends
Recurring anxiety, my long-term companion
I still search in vain an emergency exit
Will the day come for dawn again
Night fog cleans my brain
Didier
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Buffle37
Switzerland
79 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2017 : 06:46:19 AM
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Hi Blue,
Les grands esprits se rencontrent.
Ours thoughts criss-crossed
Didier |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2017 : 07:43:44 AM
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Bonjour Didier!
Nice to see you around the forum. I hope the translation is going well.
All the best |
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traveller
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2017 : 2:24:13 PM
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quote:
What kind of martial arts? I took judo for a little while and have been wanting to get back into it, and maybe Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as well. I enjoy watching UFC, which is also good fodder for bhakti.
Hi Bodhi, apologies for the delayed reply--I was out of town for the weekend, and did not bring my laptop.
Wow! That's so cool that you were doing Judo and are considering BJJ. I have been training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for about a year and some change now. I cannot recommend it highly enough! It's been an incredible experience for me, and a life changing activity and challenge. It's been great for me physically, but much more so mentally and emotionally. It's kind of hard to explain how it benefits you psychologically beyond just the exercise being good for your mind, but since you've done Judo you may know what I mean. There's just something kind of magical about it, and ironically, it has brought a lot of peace into my life and into my mind and heart. I think it has what opened me up enough over the last year to begin looking deeper into myself, and to seek out a meditation practice. I encourage you whole heartedly to check out BJJ. You'll also find that your Judo background will put you at a great advantage when starting out, and the two are quite mutually beneficial.
Here is a clip from a documentary about the legendary Rickson Gracie, where he does a bit of yoga, talks about meditation, and how it relates to his existence as a fighter. Check it out, I think you will like it: Excerpt from "Choke," Rickson Gracie Documentary
I also enjoy mma and the UFC. What does bhakti mean, in this sense?
To the rest of your post, thank you for these insights--that Bruce Lee quote is very illuminating here! This is such excellent food for thought, and for me fleshes out a bit of the "how to" of taking the warrior's stance in meditation. I will think about this for a while and reflect on how to internalize it in my practice.
I look forward to reading the rest of the responses in this thread and will do so this afternoon. Thanks all! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 18 2017 : 5:16:20 PM
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No worries about the timing with any response on the forum. Some threads go for months and even years without being touched, then get reignited down the road. This is all a very long-term project. No rush. Besides, not everyone is like me, i.e. a persistent troll and groupie who checks the forums everyday. And actually, even my trolling lapses from time to time, and I drift off the scene.
Thanks for the link to the Gracie documentary. I will most definitely check that out. I have certainly heard about the renowned Gracie family, so it's good to know that they have used meditation as part of their awesomeness.
In regards to drawing bhakti from UFC/MMA, I've written a few blogs about it. Here's one: http://ayprecovery.org/blog-52-martial-arts/
If you look at Conor McGregor, for instance, he is full of devotional energy. In response to the perennial question about why he has been so victorious, he has said: "I am not talented. I am obsessed." So, as ostentatious as he can be with his trash talking and showmanship, he is still quite humble in his acknowledgment that it takes a lot of study and practice to be good at anything. That is the essence of enlightenment as well.
Health. Strength. Wisdom. |
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traveller
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2017 : 2:40:37 PM
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Hi guys,
After a couple more rough days of just 10 minutes at a time I've decided to just work on breath meditation as described by Yogani for a while. I'll plan on coming back to the mantra once I feel settled and then upping my time back to 20 minutes. Thanks for all the great food for thought in this thread... I really love these two quotes in particular:
quote:
Yogani's metaphor: "the art of house cleaning without raising too much dust"
quote:
Imagine a pipe (our nervous system) that is pretty clogged up, so it does not carry as much water (pure bliss consciousness) as it could. So we hook the pipe up to a powerful water supply (deep meditation) and the flow through the pipe is increased, but not without some resistance to the new level of flow and quite a lot of muck will be coming out the other end of the pipe as it is being cleaned out. This is the story of purification and opening of our nervous system as the process of human spiritual transformation progresses over time. And it does take some time.
These both ring so true! I will post updates as things progress.  |
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traveller
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2017 : 3:09:36 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Thanks for the link to the Gracie documentary. I will most definitely check that out. I have certainly heard about the renowned Gracie family, so it's good to know that they have used meditation as part of their awesomeness.
In regards to drawing bhakti from UFC/MMA, I've written a few blogs about it. Here's one: http://ayprecovery.org/blog-52-martial-arts/
If you look at Conor McGregor, for instance, he is full of devotional energy. In response to the perennial question about why he has been so victorious, he has said: "I am not talented. I am obsessed." So, as ostentatious as he can be with his trash talking and showmanship, he is still quite humble in his acknowledgment that it takes a lot of study and practice to be good at anything. That is the essence of enlightenment as well.
I'm excited to check out your blog post! Will read it when I get a sec later on. Good points about McG. He talks a lot about visualization too--especially after his victories over Aldo and Alvarez. That he saw the outcome exactly as it played out over and over again in his mind before it happened etc. He's an interesting case for sure.
Rickson Gracie is a very inspiring individual to me, embodying the warrior spirit of a martial artist and being an all around excellent example of a BJJ player/fighter. The documentary that vid comes from is free to watch on youtube in it's entirety, and well worth watching. Another guy you might be interested in from the BJJ world is Nic Gregoriades. He writes a lot about yoga and meditation and how they inform his BJJ. Here are a couple of short vids that he did that are really cool. Let me know if you end up deciding to give jiu jitsu a try! He does a great job of explaining what I was trying to get at before in this first clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhEqZoLFFQk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8V_vwbAxbU
Cheers,
traveller |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2017 : 3:27:52 PM
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Let's see if McGregor can really shock the world of combat sports and defeat Mayweather.
Thank you for the other links! |
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2017 : 10:07:07 PM
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Hi Traveller! Welcome!! This is a wonderful place for support especially when you first get started- this forum was a lifeline for me and still is during really challenging times. So I know I'm echoing others but I'll still share...I love the saying, "You have not begun meditating unless you have wept on your cushion."
I remember specifically during my very first year of meditating one specific childhood trauma memory came up daily for me and then I realized I needed to physically visit the site of that trauma (a summer camp that I found to be a traumatic experience as a child). So I revisited that previously scary place for me and it was entirely healing for me and I only have positive associations with that camp experience now. That memory really has never crossed my mind in meditation since. So I do think old memories do come up for us to face them soon or later as we are ready to face them and we receive divine guidance as to how to face these traumas/memories. As I see it, sometimes our healing is internal and other times it requires action. But yes it is completely completely normal par for the course. I also found I have needed to really delve into 12 Step Recovery Programs to continue to root things out as well as visiting an energy healer. Welcome, glad you are joining us Traveller!
Best, Chard |
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Civava
Fyro Macedonia
2 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2017 : 7:56:30 PM
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Hello! I would like to share my experience with DM. I' ve been doing DM for 8 months now. Twice a day, 20 minutes, 10 minutes rest. I am going slow and easy, because I have experienced very unpleasant feelings, like sadness. Now, after 8 months of practising twice a day, I don't feel any better.
So, my dilemmas are: is DM for me? Am I having such a rough cleansing? Should I continue or drop? I' ve noticed that sometimes, when I don't do my morning practice, I feel much much better. I feel happy and joyful.
Can somebody share similar experience? Thank you. |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2017 : 06:48:14 AM
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Hello Civava,
Welcome to the forum. If you experience unpleasant symptoms, it would be a good idea to self-pace, by slowing down the practice. You could reduce the meditation time until you find a routine that works for you. Check out Lesson 38 for ways to self-pace.
However, a faster and more efficient way to deal with emotions that come up in meditation is to understand where they come from, and allow yourself to feel them fully to complete the experience. When we avoid or repress emotions, they tend to accumulate under the surface and create a blockage. Emotions are part of our response to experiences. If the emotions are not completed during the experience, they linger and we keep feeling them even when the situation that created the emotion is gone. This is not very healthy, and it stops us from experiencing new situations in an unbiased manner. Thus, if you can allow yourself to feel the sadness, befriend it, and understand the source of your sadness, the emotion will dissolve. The sadness is trying to tell you something about a part of you that you have not fully recognized. It is a lesson there for you.
As we progress on the path, all the hidden parts come to awareness.
Best wishes, and let us know how you are doing.
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Civava
Fyro Macedonia
2 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2017 : 5:41:16 PM
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| Thank you very much Blanche. I've been reducing my meditation few times. I was slowly increasing time. I think I'll go back to 10 or 15 minutes, and see how it works. |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2017 : 9:43:24 PM
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quote:
The sadness is trying to tell you something about a part of you that you have not fully recognized. It is a lesson there for you.
Being in silence picks at these scabs, and maybe give you insight of why they are scabs in the first place. Keep your practice going, slow and easy, and become curious within. |
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New to DM, difficult memories surfacing
