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 Stupid pills, HELP
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KarenVic

Canada
67 Posts

Posted - Jun 26 2017 :  12:25:10 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hi
I was reviewing some basics, and I am wondering if anyone can reccomend specific ways to build, purify, train the Vijanamaya Kosha Sheath ( discernment)
I realize I have been making bad decisions all my life, because I go on some sort of stupid auto pilot around people. Ironically its usually around abusers, I am a fighter by nature but become stupid and passive and I let them get away with stuff that I am furious about after, especially at myself. Its like Im possessed, with a stupid pill chaser.
After all this Yoga, and Martial arts, and Prayer, and reading spiritual books non stop, Meditation, and still I sabotage myself.
If fills me with self hate, shame and the feeling of helplessness.
HELP if you have any ideas.

Edited by - KarenVic on Jun 26 2017 12:26:07 AM

AYPforum

351 Posts

Posted - Jun 26 2017 :  10:58:28 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement
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jusmail

India
491 Posts

Posted - Jun 26 2017 :  11:36:20 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Let go, and let God! Everyone makes bad decisions. Learn and we must move on. That is human nature. We must work out our karma.
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lalow33

USA
966 Posts

Posted - Jun 26 2017 :  2:07:46 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Karen,

These are just empty, habitual patterns. If you want to change to a new pattern, you can get advice from friends, family, a therapist, etc.

You'll eventually see through them.
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SeySorciere

Seychelles
1571 Posts

Posted - Jun 27 2017 :  02:44:10 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Dear Karenvic,

Are you practicing AYP? You have been on the forums a long time, disappeared for a while and nice to have you back. Your situation does not appear to have changed much, hence my question- are you practicing? The very best advice anyone can give you is that.


Sey
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KarenVic

Canada
67 Posts

Posted - Jun 27 2017 :  7:16:46 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply

This is not helpfull
quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere

Dear Karenvic,

Are you practicing AYP? You have been on the forums a long time, disappeared for a while and nice to have you back. Your situation does not appear to have changed much, hence my question- are you practicing? The very best advice anyone can give you is that.


Sey

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lalow33

USA
966 Posts

Posted - Jun 27 2017 :  9:16:05 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Karen,

I've been through this angry phase myself. I have a big partial autobiography to it in the poetry section. I think I confronted almost everyone I know then had to apologize.
So what's going on? Are you taking pills? I know I posted earlier but didn't really get what you were saying.
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Bodhi Tree

2972 Posts

Posted - Jun 28 2017 :  12:05:17 AM  Show Profile  Visit Bodhi Tree's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I have built a website based on using AYP for recovery from drug/alcohol addiction. I hit a wall with AA and the 12 Steps, and had to reboot my operating system with lots of help from the practices and principles herein.

The most valuable formula I have found is this one: Vision + Desire + Action = Achievement, with consistency and persistence being applied to all elements on the left side of the equation. The success I've had in recovery, transformation, and transcendence has come when all of those elements are being nurtured and fed properly.

Of course, the strategy is simple in concept, but often more complex in application. Life is not really black and white. It's colorful and blurred by intersecting boundaries. Ultimately, it's a long-term trajectory sustained by bhakti and a willingness to stay the course, regardless of how many obstructions pop up along the way.

AA still has some solid wisdom, despite my discrepancies with the program, and to quote the Big Book, it's about progress, not perfection. So, just keep working and playing towards progress, and you cannot fail.

Best wishes.

Edited by - Bodhi Tree on Jun 28 2017 01:56:14 AM
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parvati9

USA
587 Posts

Posted - Jun 28 2017 :  12:11:33 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
post deleted

Edited by - parvati9 on Jun 28 2017 2:04:39 PM
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SeySorciere

Seychelles
1571 Posts

Posted - Jun 28 2017 :  01:55:15 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by KarenVic


This is not helpfull
quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere

Dear Karenvic,

Are you practicing AYP? You have been on the forums a long time, disappeared for a while and nice to have you back. Your situation does not appear to have changed much, hence my question- are you practicing? The very best advice anyone can give you is that.


Sey





Dear KarenVic -


Sey


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sunyata

USA
1513 Posts

Posted - Jun 28 2017 :  08:00:22 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Karen,

I deleted my last post because I think I misunderstood your question. So sorry. Others have given good advice.

Yet, the answer to all problems seem to be Love. The reflection in the mirror is your beloved. Love and accept yourself exactly the way you are. Let all emotions and thoughts arise without judgement.This is when healing begins. If this is difficult to do at this time. When judgements arise counteract it will all the qualities you love about yourself.

As they say water the flowers not the weeds.

Also, daily practices is the doorway to heaven.

Much Love
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KarenVic

Canada
67 Posts

Posted - Jun 29 2017 :  11:13:44 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Bhodi Tree
thank you for your note, your right its a process and sometimes we fall down, I just want to break the wheel not keep living it. Back to the work.
light and love to you
K

quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree

I have built a website based on using AYP for recovery from drug/alcohol addiction. I hit a wall with AA and the 12 Steps, and had to reboot my operating system with lots of help from the practices and principles herein.

The most valuable formula I have found is this one: Vision + Desire + Action = Achievement, with consistency and persistence being applied to all elements on the left side of the equation. The success I've had in recovery, transformation, and transcendence has come when all of those elements are being nurtured and fed properly.

Of course, the strategy is simple in concept, but often more complex in application. Life is not really black and white. It's colorful and blurred by intersecting boundaries. Ultimately, it's a long-term trajectory sustained by bhakti and a willingness to stay the course, regardless of how many obstructions pop up along the way.

AA still has some solid wisdom, despite my discrepancies with the program, and to quote the Big Book, it's about progress, not perfection. So, just keep working and playing towards progress, and you cannot fail.

Best wishes.

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KarenVic

Canada
67 Posts

Posted - Jun 29 2017 :  11:17:32 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Ialow33
no I am not taking pills, I just feel like sometimes I do something so stupid that I wonder if stupid pills are in my diet.

I just realized that I have to stand up for myself in a non confrontational way and set boundaries I had trauma with an Uncle when I was 4, and that is what is going on here. I just shut down and its hard to look at this stuff, but I realize its exactly the work that needs to be done. I will read your poetry and post in that section. thank you for sharing.
much light and love
K

quote:
Originally posted by lalow33

Hi Karen,

I've been through this angry phase myself. I have a big partial autobiography to it in the poetry section. I think I confronted almost everyone I know then had to apologize.
So what's going on? Are you taking pills? I know I posted earlier but didn't really get what you were saying.

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