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abethouston
USA
2 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 05 2017 : 9:15:53 PM
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Hello and apologies for the long post. Its been a strange road that has lead me here but at this point I am desperate for any sort of help I can get.
I have been suffering with symptoms for the past 8 months. These include muscle loss, weakness, twitching, muscle spasms, tingling, burning, brain fog, nausea, and dizzniness among others.
Medically, I have been diagnosed with a herniated c6/c7 disc, and a torn meniscus. I am well aware of the problems herniations can cause, as well as the cascading effect of my knee injury on all my other muscles.
The reason I am confused is because of how this all started. I went from being a non-user, to taking marijuanna edibles somewhat frequently (3-5 times a week). This started what i called my "unlocking", where all the muscles in my body would rythmically unwind for hours. It was entirely unstoppable, and I would often find myself contorted into crazy but intuitive positions. I have spent years filled with tension and poor posture, and it was as if my body knew exactly what to do. These unlocking, stretching effects would happen for hours, even if I refrained from marijuanna for days or weeks. It was as if i had awoken something inside me, mentally as well as pshycially.
Everything was getting looser and more flexible, but my experiences were mentally challenging as well. I would have frequent panic attacks on the edibles as well as crushingly negative self reflection. The turning point for me came after a injured my knee. I never recieved proper therapy for it, just used my crutches and tried to work around it as best as I could. A few weeks after the injury i was going through one of my fits of uncontrollable stretching, and I felt like i was undergoing some sort of massive change. Every muscle in my body was insanely loose and it felt like I was being pulled apart at a molecular level. A rush of massive energy coursed through me, my spine turned into "jelly", and several things popped all at once.
Later that night I noticed my first pain in my back. It would continue to tingle, burn and keep me up all night long. The pain turned into muscle loss, and then the symptoms started to pile on. 8 months later the muscle loss has spread to the other side of my back and I am a wreck both mentally and physically. I cant sleep most nights due to the full body spasms and other unpleasant sensations that keep me up. I feel horrible, hopeless and doomed. The "unlocking" continues, but now i fear it as it seems to worsen my symptoms considerably.
There was a previous period, around a year or two earlier, where i was lying on the floor and somehow was able to generate an intense pleasurable energy in my pelvic area. I had no idea what was going on, but it stayed with me for weeks. I was able to "play" with it, but I was also concerned because the fire did not want to die down. Eventually it did once i made a concious effort to ignore it, but i feel this had some lasting damage which lead me to a urologist on one occasion.
My present state of being is very bad. I have developed health anxiety and need heavy medication to get any sleep. Its like a vicious, enless circle of symptoms, anxiety, glimmers of hope, more symptoms, ect- repeat over and over and over. I've been told all my issues likely stem from my C6/C7 injury alone, but I feel like my doctos might be missing the forest through the trees.
So I can definitely make a case for my problems being medical only, but another part of me resists this and thinks there must be something else going on. I know nothing of kundilini other than what my google searches have showed me and I hope someone can give me insight one way or the other. Thank you! |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2017 : 02:25:13 AM
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Hi Cobra87,
A lot of the symptoms you describe are kundalini symptoms. It does sound as if something has caused your kundalini to awaken and it also sounds as if it has awoken prematurely. This means that it is aroused before your body has been brought into a condition where it is ready to cope with the intense energies involved.
There could be any number of things that have caused this to happen. I would say that the most likely cause is the marijuanna. But it could have been caused by other things, such as an inherent instability and tendency to awaken built into your nervous system. Spinal damage can cause kundalini to awaken prematurely, but it is more usually damage to the coccyx, rather than to the neck region that causes this to happen, although I would not rule this out.
Whatever caused the awakening to happen, I would strongly advise you to stay away from drugs (all drugs, including marijuanna) at this stage, if you are still taking them.
The cause of the awakening is not so important though. What is more important is how you deal with it now. Grounding practices are the first step, in order to ground out the energy and bring you into a more stable condition. Insomnia is one of the symptoms of ungrounded kundalini.
See this lesson on ways that you can ground out the energy:
Lesson 69 - Kundalini Symptoms, Imbalances and Remedies
Walking in nature is one of the most effective ways to ground out the energy, but if you have damaged your knee and spine, then that may be difficult for you. If it is, then any physical work you can do will be O.K. The more physical the better.
Engaging in regular social activity is important, and eating heavier foods may help. Drink plenty of water and stay away from alcohol.
You will be able to tell if your symptoms have a primarily spiritual cause rather than a primarily physical cause, if you begin to see an improvement in your conditions as a result of engaging in grounding practices. Issues with a spiritual cause will tend to respond fairly rapidly to effective grounding practices and you should expect to be seeing improvements happening within a week or two.
If things do improve, then it would be very good to try to get off sedation and to be able to sleep without it. Not much progress can be made spiritually if you are being heavily sedated every night. So that would be the next step.
If you want to learn more about the whole process of kundalini and what is involved in going through an awakening, then I would recommend reading through the main lessons on this website starting here. The lessons cover a great deal more than the kundalini process, but it will at least give you an overview about what is involved and give you some idea as to what may happen next and what you can do to direct that to make it a more favourable outcome.
Christi
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2017 : 7:03:10 PM
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Hi Cobra87
Christi's above reply is excellent.
I usually see health issues in terms of Ayurveda and what you've described sounds like it could be a Vata disturbance, which means, in this case, that you may be suffering due to having become overly dry. If that is correct, then a Vata pacifying diet and lifestyle regime could provide some relief. Which would tend to indicate reducing or possibly eliminating altogether your various unlocking and stretching exercises, if that is doable. Your post has me thinking that your whole system - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual - needs lubrication to alleviate the dryness.
If this assumption is valid, the dryness is causing extreme stess, on every level, and that unfortunately is further exacerbating the root cause. Have you any idea what that root cause might be? Lubrication can be induced with oil therapy both internally (ingest) and externally (apply to skin and let soak in, prior to bathing). A lot of rest and the general lifestyle of a couch potato will tend to alleviate dryness and encourage lubrication. Would you be able to supply a little more context regarding these items:
1. Can you elaborate on what you mean by "I have spent years filled with tension and poor posture"? Do you know what is causing the tension?
2. What caused the knee injury?
3. You mention full body spasms and unpleasant sensations that prevent you from sleeping naturally. Are you in a lot of pain?
4. You mention having anxiety and panic attacks. How long has that been going on?
love
parvati
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Edited by - parvati9 on Jun 06 2017 8:29:35 PM |
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abethouston
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2017 : 8:04:37 PM
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Thank you both very much for your replies.
Christi, I have definitely stopped drugs and alcohol. There were a few times i went back and tried small amounts of marijuanna just to see what happens,and the unlocking would intensify for days. I have begun researching grounding methods and will begin implementing them shortly.
Parvati, I have had more than one person tell me I look/seem dehydrated before. To answer your questions:
1. I am not sure what exactly was the cause of my tension, but I have always been extremely tight in the head/neck/back area primarily. The poor posture is mainly referring to my excessive lordosis, which in turn causes a bit of a torward leaning neck.
2. My knee injury first occured randomly one day while sitting- I heard a "pop" in my knee while it was tucked under my other leg at the computer. While working out I popped/tore it and was on crutches for 2 weeks. I thought I had healed, but I then returned to working out and suffered the same exact knee injury but worse- I couldnt walk on it nore put pressure on it. I never attempted any sort of physical therapy.
3. I am always "uncomfortable" but not always in pain. There definitely is an element of pain at times though, with burning sensations and aching spasms. Occasionally I will wake with my shoulder or stomach twisting in knots, to the point where I am awoken in the middle of the night by it. And some part of my body is always twitching or tingling. Many people with herniated discs complain of the unbearable pain they cause, but I honestly dont feel much acute pain in my neck at all.
4. The anxiety has no doubt been with me long before these specific symptoms, always in the background. One occasion in particularly seems relevant and definitely didnt help things at all; when a self-proclaimed online psychic told me "I have bad news, you need to see a doctor". I know that sounds silly but its been in the back of my mind for a while. The really bad anxiety started with these symptoms, and after reading about all the horrifying muscular diseases on Google that share my symptoms. I know anxiety can cause symptoms for sure, but in my case I feel like the muscle is literally falling off of me. My pelvic floor muscles are basically gone, and my back and neck seem to be following suit. I would be very surprsied if anxiety alone could do that.
Thanks again. |
Edited by - abethouston on Jun 07 2017 8:17:08 PM |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2017 : 11:24:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by cobra87
Thank you both very much for your replies.
Christi, I have definitely stopped drugs and alcohol. There were a few times i went back and tried small amounts of marijuanna just to see what happens,and the unlocking would intensify for days. I have begun researching grounding methods and will begin implementing them shortly.
Parvati, I have had more than one person tell me I look/seem dehydrated before. To answer your questions:
1. I am not sure what exactly was the cause of my tension, but I have always been extremely tight in the head/neck/back area primarily. The poor posture is mainly referring to my excessive lordosis, which in turn causes a bit of a torward leaning neck.
2. My knee injury first occured randomly one day while sitting- I heard a "pop" in my knee while it was tucked under my other leg at the computer. While working out I popped/tore it and was on crutches for 2 weeks. I thought I had healed, but I then returned to working out and suffered the same exact knee injury but worse- I couldnt walk on it nore put pressure on it. I never attempted any sort of physical therapy.
3. I am always uncomfortable but not always in pain. There definitely is an element of pain at times though, with burning sensations and aching spasms. Occasionally I will wake with my shoulder or stomach twisting in knots, to the point where I am awoken in the middle of the night by it. And some part of my body is always twitching or tingling. Many people with herniated discs complain of the unbearable pain they cause, but I honestly dont feel much acute pain in my neck at all.
4. The anxiety has no doubt been with me long before these specific symptoms, always in the background. One occasion in particularly seems relevant and definitely didnt help things at all; when a self-proclaimed online psychic told me "I have bad news, you need to see a doctor". I know that sounds silly but its been in the back of my mind for a while. The really bad anxiety started with these symptoms, and after reading about all the horrifying muscular diseases on Google that share my symptoms. I know anxiety can cause symptoms for sure, but in my case I feel like the muscle is literally falling off of me. My pelvic floor muscles are basically gone, and my back and neck seem to be following suit. I would be very surprsied if anxiety alone could do that.
Thanks again.
Okay, will tell you straight out what I think is going on. I'll try to clarify a somewhat complex situation. When friends/ acquaintances observe and comment that you seem dehydrated, this is confirmation of messages your body is already sending. Please remember it's only my opinion. Then some Ayurvedic information will be provided that you might find useful to put everything in perspective. I bolded parts of your response for purposes of the discussion.
First, you've emphasized continuously being "uncomfortable but not always in pain". The "aching spasms" support my theory, but your overall description indicates "discomfort" as opposed to ongoing (physical) pain. However, any type of ongoing pain is a certain indicator of vata imbalance, including emotional pain. The fact that you don't seem to be in a great deal of physical pain is a good sign. It appears that the majority of your pain is not usually presenting physically (though occasionally does), but rather in the background so to speak and being unconsciously suppressed.
Second, the anxiety issue - this is at the root of your suffering, but is being suppressed. Our mind-body is a unit i.e., they work together, never separately. Obviously your body is screaming messages that you frankly don't want to hear and tend to ignore. You say you are always uncomfortable, assuming that is a more or less lifelong thing?? but has recently become aggravatingly severe? What is the root cause of your longterm tension? Take your best shot and go from there. The anxiety has apparently been with you for a very long time ... whoa ... stop right there. Be honest, delve into your life experience and make a guess, something or things very specific have been bothering you (for perhaps most of your life?). And now your health is deteriorating. There is obviously a connection, and apparently you aren't too keen on considering the possibility...
Now the following is partly intuition and partly some Ayurvedic information that could be relevant to your situation. Any kind of tension caused by anxiety is a Vata issue. All movement derives from Vata. It appears you may be driven (by anxiety) to become obsessive regarding working out, to the point where common sense is abandoned (reference your response to knee injury). The reason for that is probably because you are attempting to resolve the anxiety issue through body building or toning. This strategy won't work to resolve the core issue and your body is trying to tell you that (imo). Because muscular tension is the result of anxiety. What will eventually provide healing relief for you - is to address and resolve the core issue(s). In order to do that, you will have to stay with the discomfort, feel the discomfort, become deeply aware of every bodily sensation and expression for as long as it takes, instead of attempting to blot it out of your life by ignoring or denying it.
Quoted from The Ayurveda Bible by Anne McIntyre:
[Vyana Vata is a subdosha of Vata] "Vyana Vata is located in the heart and circulated throughout the body. It has a mainly outward action, which enables us to express ourselves in action and release energy. It governs the circulatory system, the blood supply through the body and specifically to the muscles, enabling the use of energy through muscular exertion. Its action is mainly in the limbs, the prime site of movement in the body. Disturbance of Vyana Vata can cause poor coordination and difficulty moving, particularly walking. Too much Vyana Vata can overly diffuse or disperse our energy. It is the opposite of Prana, which is inward-moving."
According to the above, Vyana Vata resides in the heart and any injury to the heart - physical or emotional - may affect the function of that sub-dosha. If blood supply to the muscles were restricted, then the muscles could be damaged because they require lubrication from the blood. If muscles are being forcefully used in the absence of the required blood supply, then your muscles can't function properly. When you continue to force their use, they could lock up and become progressively more dysfunctional, eventually deteriorating. I believe your body is at this stage. Extreme sensitivity, which is a Vata attribute, can render us severely vulnerable to emotional pain in the heart. I believe you are unconsciously shielding yourself from some psychological or emotional pain sustained in the past, which needs to be acknowledged and dealt with. Thoroughly feeling this emotional pain, and integrating it, will enable resolution of the core issue.
Wishing you the very best in all your endeavors,
love
parvati
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Edited by - parvati9 on Jun 08 2017 08:56:18 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2017 : 09:33:18 AM
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Hi Cobra87,
I am sorry for your difficulties. You received interesting answers already from Christi and Parvati, take care and read onto the lessons.
Also I hope you can find someone in your neighborhood who can support you on this journey see if you can find an experienced body&mind worker to ask advice. Like reflexology, craniosacral, acupunture or yoga therapy. It's important that you feel safe and really seen by the person, so take time to talk with them. Don't do it all, make a choice after being informed. You can use some help in this situation from a 'warmhearted' therapist.
Wishing you the best  |
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jean
Germany
107 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2017 : 11:43:16 AM
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Make sure to check out: http://biologyofkundalini.com/
Jana has a lot of great advice how to support the body during the transformation.
What helped me the most was B-Vitamins and amino acids. |
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Help with kundalini effects
