Read lessons 413 and 423 which will answer all your doubts hopefully.
As for enlightenment, it is like raising a child. A strict father is as important as a doting mother. The same approach was used by 2 giants of the 21st century when it came to self-realization. Nisargadatta Maharaj would tackle the seeker directly like a football defender. On the other hand, Ramanamaharshi would meet the devotee with silence.
Reincarnation, I do believe in, but I have no proof to offer. Our slates (memory) are wiped clean when we reincarnate. For more on this read about Edgar Cayce.