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VIL
USA
586 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 14 2017 : 1:25:06 PM
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1. My symptoms are primarily psychological, although I have gained a lot of weight.
2. My symptoms are intermittent, whenever I am in social situations. My sleep is affected if I don't take my medication.
3. My kundalini experience was spontaneous and happened in 2002.
4. I am not engaged in any spiritual activities, although I have tried. I do pray often though.
5. I consider myself sensitive to spiritual practices. I accommodate this sensitivity generally by not practicing, although I really want to do something.
6. Drugs are not a factor to my kundalini activity.
7. I have had traumatic events in my childhood, that has affected my current situation.
8. My sexual lyfstyle is not an issue and I do not practice tantra or any other retention practice.
9. My diet is heavy.
10. I do not exercise.
11. I consider myself a devotional person.
12. I have not worked for 8 years, am not in school or involved with social activities.
13. I have been seen by a medical doctor and mental health professional. Medically I am OK. Psychologically I am diagnosed with agoraphobia, PTSD and anxiety. I am on medication for this.
14. I drink more than a 6 pack of beer daily and smoke a couple of packs of cigarettes daily. I started drinking about 6 years ago. I know that is horrible to admit.
15. Yes, I am in very bad shape.
Thank you all for your input.
Vil
PS. I am 48 and male.
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Edited by - VIL on Jan 14 2017 1:38:49 PM |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2017 : 6:44:20 PM
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Hi VIL
First of all, stay on your medication. Unless you feel psychologically stable, you should not engage in structured spiritual practices at present. From this layman' point of view, you have been running from your awakening for fifteen years, tamping it down with self-medicating food, drink, cigarettes. You re-engaging with the desire to finally face what happened to you is a good thing, as that is the first step away from where you now are.
Is your agoraphobia lessened under medication? If so! getting out in nature is a good practice at spiritually re-connecting. I know you are well aware of your body neglect, and that you need to make dietary changes and begin exercising, perhaps finding a gentle yoga class near you to start. It has taken you fifteen years to get here, so be forgiving of yourself, things will change slowly. Once you begin experiencing mini-victories, however, the momentum will be in a positive flow and will build on itself.
Somewhere along the line, slowly introduce breath meditation and see how it feels.
I wish you well; you came back to AYP for support, knowing your current situation is unsustainable. We can cheer you along, but you need to put in the discipline.   |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2017 : 8:16:22 PM
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Hello Vil,
Just a few suggestions:
1. Do cut ddown on smoking. Be gentle and gradual about it.
2. More physical activity. Even walking daily, dipping your toes into water or the sand in the beach is going to diffuse your energy.
3. Community service according to your ability will also help.
We are all cheering for you. Go Vil go!
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2017 : 04:49:03 AM
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Hi Vil,
Good advice of Dogboy and jusmail. If I may suggest start with walking, every day. Make an appointment with yourself to walk 3 times a day for 21 days in row. Mark them on your calendar. Not too long, keep it doable, so you can keep you to your own appointments.
While walking feel how you breath, the fresh air, feel how your feet touching the ground, how your body moves. Swing your arms, feel you are alive, look around and smile, look at people and smile.
Like Dogboy points out, maybe you can find a yoga teacher or life coach in your neighborhood, where you feel comfortable, safe and seen. See if you can be helpful somewhere in your neighborhood so that you will have some social contact.
Important is to see how you take small steps, per day. Don't believe it if your mind says you can't do it, because you can. It will be with ups and downs.
What helps is every day write something to be grateful for as simple as a little smile from somebody, seeing the sun, feeling some energy in the body to name a few.
Let us know how it goes, so we all here can support you. Be honest in your writing. You even can make this thread your journaling. All small steps will help, to find the positive flow as Dogboy said.
Go for it, we will support you |
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VIL
USA
586 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2017 : 10:35:41 AM
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Dogboy, jusmail and charliedog, what a wealth of positive feedback! I appreciate all of the helpful advice. I am going to contemplate all that you said and put it into action.
My sister's friend teaches kripalu yoga. I will take some classes, careful not to over do it, mindful of kundalini.
Now I need to work on your suggestions and take another hiatus from AYP. I will post at another time to let you know of my progress.
Thank you all for your kindness and support!
Namaste,
Vil
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Edited by - VIL on Jan 15 2017 10:56:28 AM |
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