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quasarlight
USA
4 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 04 2016 : 5:44:52 PM
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Hello:
I am so glad I found this site, especially the posts of Jim.. and his Karma.
I am 45, fairly fit, been practicing meditation on and off for 16 years. Lots of esoteric experiences in my life.
I had a full kundalini awakening in May, it was fantastic, I was glad I had done so much practice, so I could stabilize as the energy rose and not fight it. (I have practiced Bon Dzogchen meditation for a long time). I think finally quitting smoking cleared the channels again.. I went through a kundalini awakening about 16 years before this one and it wasn't as pleasant.
But, something went wrong.
Beginning of this month, I woke with an outrageous ear/jaw ache. Since existing with kundalini wide open was a new experience, I kind of 'missed' what happened when it went away and got stuck. The feeling was kind of an intensified version of 'sour jaw'. I even got a little cyst form on my right jaw. Also, pressure on back of head, sinus congestion, and occasional crown chakra 'needling' as if I were receiving a acupuncture needle there. As well, blurry vision.
Jim's description of 'front channel' being blocked is helpful.. matches.
The back of my knees became swollen, that has improved since. My legs below by thighs tend to be missing energy, its like that energy is up in my neck. this was also observed by a raja yoga master that worked with me years ago.
I also have pressure in the back of my head. Re-opening my crown might help.
I've also had a damp cold chill sometime come down my right leg.. kind of prickly.
Eye pain. It has all been enough that I've been disoriented through it all.
First, is there a book from this tradition that would be helpful? I am excited to see titles about 'ecstatic living' - because this awakening was fantastic. I was balanced enough.. (until I wasn't) and rode through some beautiful mystical experiences, that I never had felt so connected, alive, whole. I would wake in the morning, and about an hour later, my 'soul/kundalini' would wake. It was like having two souls in one body.
I think another component of why my kundalini got stuck is not feeling like i deserved such a blessing.
Very glad to have found this great site!
Thanks in advance for any help.. the jaw tightness and overall head congestion is still present, legs are doing better
-ql |
Edited by - quasarlight on Aug 04 2016 9:59:34 PM |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2016 : 8:27:47 PM
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| Welcome to the forum. Enjoy your stay here. |
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quasarlight
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2016 : 10:02:02 PM
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Hi all,
Progress.
I've had a blast reading these forums here, as well as the offshoots mentioned in threads.
I've got a couple of things to throw out there.
I'm an 'under the hood' kind of guy. I take apart my car. I fix my friends boat. I even did acupuncture to myself for a while, until I hit a point wrong and it felt like when you hit a ball with a metal bat outside the sweet spot.
Maybe thats how I learn. All the meditation I have been at for 15 years has been very active, but its an interactive kind of active, kind of like swimming with a dolphin.
Sometimes I guide when things are really stuck, but the point is to unclog the drain and get all the inner fish swimming again in the pool of my electro-body.
Just reading about all the energy points has broadened my awareness tremendously.
Things that are working:
1. lying down in the grass and watching clouds.
2. connecting to feelings of deservedness and abundance. Seems to get the energy flowing into the front of my body.
3. Actively focusing light on my crown at the bone of my fontanelle. And then at the lowest acupuncture point at the perinium. I ended up with a moon visualized down there, and a sun on the crown, this created a polarity that started more flow.
4. Allowing flow in life. Not being 'stuck'. being social. going dancing. moving around.
5. not imagining that I have 'this kundalini' problem, but that I have open kundalini and its just about to start flowing again, maybe already is.
6. getting into the space where nothing is 'wrong'.
7. allowing creative visualisations to come. Tuning into the vast wisdom of the universal mind, and allowing healing visualisations to come in. These included:
a. a figure in full lotus 10 feet above my head, that attracted the energy stuck in my head outward and upward, which illuminated the figure.
b. a buddha in full lotus 10 feet below me, that balanced the higher one, and the energy flowed between them with me in the middle.
8. Some how imagining another me, with the same energy system, and then visualizing that energy system flowing, gets mine flowing.
9. BIG ONE. Quit being all careful and worried. Remembering I'm a bit of a spiritual stunt man, and what I do a lot of people might think is risky. Its just me. When I'm not me, and I'm overly careful, I lose my way.
So, Instead of focusing on the obstacle, I crank my throttle and look at the open way, and ziipppp.. I'm headed out of the bind and will soon forget it happened.
10. gratefulness. Gratitude for having had the taste of the gifts of the goddess, and the blessings of this awakening, helps tremendously as well.
11. let love flow.. 360 degrees
12. say yes to the whole inner and outer dance
This is an awesome forum. The 'open source' approach is fantastic.. something I've been thinking of for a while. Amazing how in the sea of reality, my vibration calls forth just the right things, right where I am at.
Looking forward to getting back on the mystical ride of my lifetime. hope to ride this one all the way to the shore
Love to you all
QL
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2016 : 11:36:21 PM
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Hi quasar light, welcome!
You sure have a lot going on, juggling a lot of balls. Your list of things working for you are good: positive affirmations and visualizations, grounding energy, interacting with others. You definately have strong Bhakti!
Maybe one of the reasons you haven't had many responses on this AYP forum is that most practioners here do not tinker under the hood. The AYP system is designed for simplicity and overall purification via DM and SBP, and tinkering with individual chakras and multiple practices can (as you have discovered) drive you into the ditch, trying to figure out which practice on what day got you there. A problem today could be the result of something different you did weeks before. The multitude of symptoms that reared up recently (and all at once) illustrates how too much tinkering can leave you with a bunch of loose parts that are unaccounted for.
I'm not here to scold you on what you should or should not practice, but to suggest a more measured, consistent (almost scientific) approach on a daily basis, and to back off practices/durations (self pace) as discomfort arises.
Another caution is your desire to chase mystical experiences (coined as scenery by Yogani) as this can lead you astray; it is how your daily life is playing out and the deepening of relationships with others that is the test of spiritual progress. Experiences are wonderful and are fruits of dedicated practice, but it is better to leave them be rather than recreate them or try to top them. It is an ongoing endeavor for me to surrender all attachments to experiences, and I am learning there is much to love in DM even when experiences are absent, that dedication to practice in and of itself results in continuous outpouring of love, the Ultimate Experience, to those around you.
If you haven't checked out lesson 69, do so (http://www.aypsite.org/69.html) to help assist you in your discomfort. Hope you can stabilize and again, welcome!
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quasarlight
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2016 : 03:13:11 AM
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Dogboy:
I really appreciate your response.
I imagine I'm working out my relationship to moving with 'innate wisdom' with the 'tinkering'. I invoke my highest wisdom and just 'let it go to work'.. I like to think I'm letting the barber utilizing my own senses to reorganize my energy field - these visualizations certainly didn't come from my ordinary mind. I've been in very disciplined practices in the past, and now I'm working on a sort of surrender, but there may be need for some more structure. Also discretion in being sure what energy is at the steering wheel.. even the part of me that evaluates how I am doing is subject to distortions.. so ultimately there just has to be a general trust in experience and self that emerges.. meditation being a key there.
I love the word 'scenery' that Yogani uses. There is an attitude embedded in that description, that feels proper. I've already learned, last week's eureka moment is the newsprint in the birdcage this week.
I think it is gold to look at how daily life plays out and deepening relationships as the standard for progress. I am seeing more 'smooth prana'ed' and kind people in my field of view lately, and starting to trust people more now... yet, deepening those connections sounds like the main place of growth for me.. just finding people I WANT to deepen connections with is new, and much welcome. Non-attachment.
My life is lately ALL mystical. It may be a 'normal' reality to someone else.. I suppose as your vibration shifts, the scenery does too, and when the scenes are not like what we are used to seeing, we say.. wow.. mystical.
Leaving them be and not recreating them also sounds like hard won wisdom. I'm pretty much there. I remember a bit of wisdom about, "nothing to be accomplished'. that gets me back to the NOW.
Letting go of the idea that the next awesome revelation is right around the corner, when all I have is NOW. Getting to HERE and in presence is such a gift.
I've been having some 'thrilling' mystical experiences, and I do enjoy them, but on the days when I'm just a donkey I try to enjoy the grass. Some mystical moments have led to some amazing creative projects, its fantastic when the mystical translates into actionable products. Others just flicker out and were like a scene in a forgotten movie.
As I am a creative, my work is about bringing thought into form. So now that my thoughts have a more mystical bent, its interesting learning how to 'step-down' the current of the really charged visions I have and translate them into art. I think getting that right, and invoking the material to create these visions into form and generate income is a new frontier for me.
OVerall, just want to thank you again for the great note you wrote. My symptoms are getting better, there is more flow overall, I'm glad I decided this wasn't a 'crisis' - that was almost the most powerful tool, and trusting this powerful energy again. I think perhaps I got 'spooked' by all the progress, my body tensed up, channels closed, and the energy got blown out. trusting love. trusting wisdom. trust as a way of being.
Nice to meet you dogboy.. which was interestingly a excited term of endearment my dad used to call me when I was a child.
QL |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2016 : 06:39:19 AM
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We are amazing creatures aren't we, and our spiritual pursuits gives us peeks beneath the veil of consciousness so it's no wonder experiences seem like achievement rewards. I have a bachelor's degree in fine arts; although I haven't done art in decades, I find my training in critical thinking and my expression (abstract landscapes) revisit me daily now that ecstatic conductivity is present in my life and when I swim in the inner silence of deep meditation. Art is a terrific way to capture those experiences of yours and then surrender them forth. You are blessed in that way.
You sound pretty level headed and are well spoken. Putting a leash on your Bhakti is not a bad thing, it keeps it from running amok and tearing up the flowerbeds. It sounds as if you have learned from your past crisis' which is very important. Yoga builds upon yoga, as you purify you discover that less yoga is needed as you move forward on the path.
If you observe boys in action it does seem they are half dogs, aren't they? This spirit of playfulness and openness is what makes me and many of my friends Dogboys.  |
Edited by - Dogboy on Aug 07 2016 06:40:58 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2016 : 08:09:31 AM
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Quote, quasarlight,
quote:
10. gratefulness. Gratitude for having had the taste of the gifts of the goddess, and the blessings of this awakening, helps tremendously as well.
11. let love flow.. 360 degrees
12. say yes to the whole inner and outer dance
Hi quasarlight,
Welcome to the AYP forums,
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I do recognize your under the hood desire, I was like that for years.
Having said that, I must admit that I can fully share the opinion of dogboy now.
It was too much of a doing,
one day I let doing go,
that letting go was not a doing I did,
somewhere along the journey it happened,
when time was ready for letting go.
doing changed into being.
being gives the freedom.
Today the english is a bit simple  what I would like to say, thank you for your sharing, go with the art flow and keep nr. 10 11 and 12.  |
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quasarlight
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2016 : 10:33:59 AM
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dogboy.. your post reminds me that there is a 'yoga' between the mind (?) and the prana.. the mind as a sort of 'dogwalker'? playfulness and openness.. I was watching Craig Ferguson interview a beautiful woman, and it seemed he was in that place.. his topics of conversation would be so apparently 'random' his attraction for his guest 'frolicked' around.. occassionaly he would 'reign it in' but mostly it was like he let puppies loose in the studio.
Charliedog - that's an AMAZING 'poem' .. The Dao de Ching uses really 'simple words' too ..
at times I've been with a 'non-intervention policy' my 'me' and the 'world' weren't really 'my' business, there was just 'unfolding' before my senses
I feel like there is a haircut between where I am and where you arrived.
May your words be seeds that plant the grace of letting go in my path.
I think trust is the key and some desire to 'participate'.. to be 'important' to my own process is what stand between me and where you are now? mostly feel if I 'let go' I'll become a 'wet log' again. no sparks, no power in the pinball machine.
My tinkering is more like letting my attention free and the visions free, not sure how much authorship 'i' have with those, but I am certainly 'systemless' at the moment which feels appropriate for now
thanks guys, what a great community
dog days began yesterday
c-dog your poem is a gift .. I'm going to print it out.. one day, the mango falls
PS.. I like the 'I am' meditation and it feels right. Not sure to do the pranayama yet with so much going on, and have been doing a 'inbreath energy down the ida and pingala' 'outbreath energy up central channel' meditation for so long its part of my day. |
Edited by - quasarlight on Aug 07 2016 10:51:58 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 08 2016 : 02:10:03 AM
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quote:
If you observe boys in action it does seem they are half dogs, aren't they? This spirit of playfulness and openness is what makes me and many of my friends Dogboys.
 
Hope to see you more here quasarlight
Best wishes,
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Aug 08 2016 : 10:13:55 AM
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doing changed into being
being gives the freedom |
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kundalini head presssure
