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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 12:44:28 PM
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Like Sunyata also mentioned, life became only better after the chaotic awakening periode. It is my believe that the eight limbs of yoga all has to be practiced step by step. We can help each other to share here at AYP, but we have to practice on our own, only reading is not helping. 
Blessings to you Kala  |
Edited by - Charliedog on Aug 09 2016 12:46:28 PM |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 1:00:08 PM
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Hi Kala,
If you go back and read your first post, it's very different than today's posts. There has been some calming. If you don't agree, I'll point it out to you.
I'm going to disagree with Charliedog and suggest you not do much inquiry. |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 3:00:56 PM
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For me, also, the energy was stuck in my second chakra. Gradually my emotional response evolved from confusion to fear to frustration to anger ... then submission and finally confidence. That was a significant progression in the sense of emotional reaction. It took several months for trust in the process to fully ripen and become complete.
As trust in the process stabilized, confidence emerged not only in what was happening, but also in terms of my personal capabilities. In other words, my self image was freed up; the sky was the limit. Whereas before k awakening, I had often been timid and reluctant ... by willingness to work with and through the awakening, my confidence skyrocketed. I became more daring, willing to take risks that previously wouldn't have been considered. My adaptation response seemed to be a consistent determination to turn this rough experience into a wonderful one. As self confidence incrementally developed, the energy was drawn upward.
In partnering with the k process, over time I gradually learned to make requests in a positive way, and therefore to minimize or avoid negative thinking. For example, rather than focusing on what was making me uncomfortable, attention was placed on what would feel great. I began making suggestions to Shakti, to the energy or the process itself: I might say, "It would be great if You'd walk me through this process by describing the blockages You're encountering. Maybe then I can facilitate the removal of those blockages."
I dearly love everything about this awakening. However, I like to go slow and easy and prefer to remain extremely grounded. In other words, I'm not keen on getting blissed out. Rather I want to be functionally efficient and present with my daily life. So that's how I steer the process. In time you too will become more adept in regulating the process ... in gently steering it to propel you forward on your path. I believe this is a very effective utilization of the energy.
love
parvati |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 6:48:27 PM
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[quote]Originally posted by Charliedog
Hi Kala,
Some self-inquire for you:
Why are you nervous to be on your own? What could happen?
Is this fear for something in reality or are this only thoughts?
Is this kundalini or a sexual addiction?
My fear/nervousness while I am alone may be irrational. I acknowledge that. What am I afraid of? Well, when I am alone the fear comes up.... that's all. When that happens the fear attaches to anything and everything. Being around people helps keep me grounded, and I prefer that.
Is it kundalini or sexual addiction? I don't know for sure. My experience for the past few months is that there is a physical, tangible tension in my genitals that was not there prior to all this energy shifting that started in mid/late February. I was hypersexual for months and the and the energy would circulate very uncomfortably. My sexual behavior would never have qualified as deviant or sexually addicted at any point in my life, I assure you. I have actually been rather conservative sexually. My impression is that the energy wants to move up but my fear is creating the blockage in the 2nd chakra/genitals.
Speaking of that, just a couple of hours ago, some sexual thoughts resulted in the energy rising up all the way to the crown. While this felt good it scared me. And even though it felt like the energy circulated and balanced out fine, I had alot of energy in my crown. This makes me nervous. I don't want to leave the body at this point. I don't want to have to go into a degree of paralysis or catatonia while my consciousness goes up into a spiritual realm.
The sexual energy moves up on its own. There's no effort or intention. In fact, there is the intention and some effort to push it down, but this is getting harder to do. So, I don't know, maybe whatever is stuck wants to move up :/ When someone who has opened the channels experiences sexual energy, does he or have the CHOICE in which way it goes???
I want to end with this question. IS THERE A WAY TO KEEP THE ENERGY FROM BEING SO FOCUSED IN THE CROWN AFTER CIRCULATION? Please give this question consideration and if you know of strategies please let me know.
The bottom line is that I have to get beyond this fear. I understand, but as everyone says I have the ability to dialogue and negotiate with the energy, I would just like to slow things down and remain in the body, grounded, and not overwhelmed with energy from any of the centers.
Thank you all. Grace and Peace...
Kala |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 6:58:54 PM
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lalow33, t
Thank you, and yes I am very aware that I am generally calmer about this (I acknowledged that there has been improvement in a previous post). I have been doing better overall. Now I'm entering into a new phrase where I feel like the energy is moving up automatically and it is feeling good, though creating anxiety about what will happen with all that energy in the crown.
Blessings to you.
Parvati9,
What you describe is exactly what I want. I don't want to be blissed out.. I want to remain grounded and able to function while experiencing physical, mental and emotional benefits of the soothing healing energy. Yes, exactly, Parvati9. Thank you.
Blessings,
Kala
Looking forward to your replies. |
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sunyata
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 7:51:24 PM
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Hi Kala,
You are already grounding, seeking professional help, not engaging in any spiritual activity, asking the energy to slow down. You are doing everything that you are in control of.
The energy is an intelligent force, she knows what she is doing.
Do you control how the organs in your body function? Are you in control of changes in the season? Do you control when the sunrises and sunsets? It happens on it's own without your control. The same intelligence is working, so trust it. You will be okay.
quote:
I don't want to be blissed out.. I want to remain grounded and able to function while experiencing physical, mental and emotional benefits of the soothing healing energy
Our true nature is "Satchidananda" or "pure bliss consciousness". How can you want or not want something that you are? Being full engaged in the world residing as pure bliss consciousness is not too bad.
For right now,forget about everything else. I know it's not easy when you are in the midst of it but when you feel the surges tell yourself this will pass and everything is going to be okay.
Hope this post does not come off as harsh.I'm just trying to help.
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Edited by - sunyata on Aug 09 2016 8:03:02 PM |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 10:59:59 PM
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Clarification: Use of the phrase "blissed out" refers to intoxicating bliss as opposed to the kind of peaceful bliss that tends to produce a half-smile. As understood here, satchitananda is referencing that peaceful state of bliss (and not the overwhelming intoxication). But I could be wrong in making this distinction.
love
parvati |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2016 : 01:58:38 AM
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Quote kala,
quote:
I was able to turn the stressful energy into positive thoughts and feelings. I don't know how or why this happened when it did. I guess my attitude was positive enough to make this happen this time (I have been through cycles of this in the past four months). I returned home after the walk feeling less of the surge of energy, calmer and able to be positive about what were before very tense and stressful sensations. That much was good.
Hi Kala,
You received many advices, don't forget you are whole, an evolving human being like everyone around you, don't focus on parts of the body or chakra's. All is connected, influences all.
Maybe easy said, but it takes time, time and practice. This is a simple but very serious grounding practice which was useful for me, so maybe someone else can have benefits:
every time you notice you're mind is wondered in expectations, anxiety feelings, future might be happening events.....bring the attention to your feet, walk, feel how your feet touch the ground. Feel your body move, your muscles. Feel the breath while walking, not influence, just feel, look around, see outside feel inside, feel you are alive.
This sounds easy, but it is serious a live changing practice.
One teacher who inspired me was Osho, one of his quotes, you are your own hell and you your own heaven too.
Reading your quote above, reminds me to it. Love, Strength, Unity |
Edited by - Charliedog on Aug 10 2016 02:46:17 AM |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2016 : 7:19:40 PM
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I talked with a lady who has gone through KS and has counseled others through it for the past 20 yrs. She says that anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications can make things worse. I would really like to find something that would knock me out at night and allow me to sleep peacefully even through the rough times.
Kala |
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sunyata
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2016 : 8:23:32 PM
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| The guru is in you. You know what's best for you. All the best. |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2016 : 11:48:37 PM
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| I've had a really good month so far, compared to the previous 5 months. The energy moving through me, which includes the sexual energy that arises from sexual thoughts, actually feels good now. The energy itself feels really good and soothing and calming. I've had more moments of feeling confident about having "spiritual" experiences... By spiritual experiences I mean inner experiences that may involve temporarily losing the sense and function of the body and senses. But tonight is not so great. The energy has really been flowing. Despite the fact that it really feels good, I'm really anxious about what might happen, about what I might experience next. It's keeping me awake and that makes me even more nervous. I want to be so dang bold! I want to want the kind of experiences that scare me, or at least be totally fine with them. I'm so tired of this fear and anxiety! |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1731 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2016 : 04:22:40 AM
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HI Kala
Good to hear it's getting better. Yes, there will be days when the energy may feel more troublesome, but it sounds like you are getting more comfortable overall.
The sleeplessness will cause you less and less trouble. In time, you will find that you get up more rested, even when you've not slept through the night.
As for the anxiety, it is another way in which the energy expresses itself. As things refine, it will find modes of expression that are more pleasant. Best to allow it to be. That doesn't mean you have to be enthusiastic about it, just to accept it - it is what it is.
Best wishes |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2016 : 07:28:40 AM
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| Thank you BlueRaincoat. |
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Dogboy
USA
2242 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2016 : 3:26:52 PM
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quote:
I want to be so dang bold! I want to want the kind of experiences that scare me, or at least be totally fine with them. I'm so tired of this fear and anxiety!
When fear and anxiety rear up, that is your cue to sit with it, breathe slowly with intent, and observe it with interest such as "oh look how this makes me sweat" or "gee my heart rate is up, I think I'll send the breath there" or even ask aloud "what do you have to teach me?" and then be very open to the moments that follow, to feel if something is revealed. You have a strong attachment to these feelings; by sitting with them much as you would comforting a child, in time this attachment loosens. This is a practice, an opportunity, of opening to understanding the misunderstood. |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2016 : 07:12:27 AM
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Thank you dogboy. I look forward to being there, where I can sit with it and process it while it's happening. To be honest, I'm afraid to do that because then it might release and I would leave myself open to all that openness and expansive experiences. That's what I fear, the experiences that take me out of bodily functioning. I recognize that fear/anxiety is
my obstacle :/ :/ :/
Blessings
Kala
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2016 : 12:22:30 PM
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Kala
Based upon having been in a state similar to where you are now, it seems that there are at least three wonderful possibilities open to you at this time (in addition to exploring every available grounding technique). The first is to simply ACCEPT that this is undoubtedly going to be alternating misery and ecstasy ... until your body, mind and emotions adjust to the awakening. The second is to give your life in service to helping others. Both of those options will tend to generate a greater sense of wellbeing. And the third is to lose yourself (and the discomfort) in love for your Ishta. Know that your consciousness is very rapidly shifting and accelerating. You are going through an extremely efficient process of purifying and opening to Divine Love. It is a radical adjustment and will take time. Can you make the commitment to embrace this process in love ... for the duration? It is perhaps the greatest blessing you have ever experienced. This is a Divine Energy that will propel you on your spiritual path. It will take you where you want to go, into the deepest desires of your heart. Your responsibility is to learn how to joyfully dance with that awareness, knowing that you've been gifted with a powerful divine energy. Use it well.
love
parvati |
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sunyata
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2016 : 12:30:46 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by parvati9
Kala
Based upon having been in a state similar to where you are now, it seems that there are at least three wonderful possibilities open to you at this time (in addition to exploring every available grounding technique). The first is to simply ACCEPT that this is undoubtedly going to be alternating misery and ecstasy ... until your body, mind and emotions adjust to the awakening. The second is to give your life in service to helping others. Both of those options will tend to generate a greater sense of wellbeing. And the third is to lose yourself (and the discomfort) in love for your Ishta. Know that your consciousness is very rapidly shifting and accelerating. You are going through an extremely efficient process of purifying and opening to Divine Love. It is a radical adjustment and will take time. Can you make the commitment to embrace this process in love ... for the duration? It is perhaps the greatest blessing you have ever experienced. This is a Divine Energy that will propel you on your spiritual path. It will take you where you want to go, into the deepest desires of your heart. Your responsibility is to learn how to joyfully dance with that awareness, knowing that you've been gifted with a powerful divine energy. Use it well.
love
parvati
Amen |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2016 : 3:13:30 PM
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Thank you Parvati and Sunyata. I accept that there will be rough days and nights. I get that. I would rather avoid ecstacy and settle for the grounded bliss we talked about in your previous post above. If I have a choice at this time in my life (and I like to think of this as a partnership with the energy as others have suggested) then I would choose just good feelings rather than ecstatic. But I think I get your point anyway.
Regarding losing myself and the discomfort in love for my ishta, I have a question/comment. I've been following the guidance I received here on the AYP forum regarding grounding and I think it works as well as can expected. I realized after awhile that i was praying almost all the time, and after I realized this I gradually stopped. So I dont really know how to look to or lose myself to god and stay grounded. I would love to do that but I think it will just support the upward flow of the energy. Please let me know your thoughts on this.
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2016 : 5:48:19 PM
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Initially these extremes of discomfort and ecstasy/ bliss may be difficut to balance. With kundalini awakening nearly everyone seems to experience them. Over time, however, it will become easier. You are learning a very unique dance with this energy, one that is a perfect fit for you. Others can point the general direction, but they can't know the specific adjustments you will need to make along the way.
love
parvati |
Edited by - parvati9 on Aug 21 2016 8:26:04 PM |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2016 : 6:27:53 PM
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Almost since the beginning, my experience has been about sexual energy. It would circulate in an uncomfortable way, creating very weird and uncomfortable physical sensations from head to toe. It would do this with every sexual thought, every day (and night). I guess it was moving through the channels and the channels were not clear enough. Now the energy continues to circulate but it feels good. HOWEVER, as it continues to clear my system, it brings up anxiety. What I would like to do is slow this process down. It seems ejaculation/physical release would be the answer. So, I learned about grounding on this forum and elsewhere and have followed through with the different grounding practices. I guess the grounding has helped me stop thinking about sex so much (that and the ongoing misery (until recently) with every sexual thought). I don't know. I guess the grounding helps to reduce the sexual thoughts. Right? I'm not sure. If it stops the automatic upward flow of the sexual energy then I am currently losing my grounding. Since this started it has been difficult to have a physical release. There was a time for two weeks (last month, I think) when I couldn't have a physical release. I've never gone that long without a release. Interestingly, I didn't feel a need to release nor was the energy moving upwards or circulating. Then I had a break: For the first time since all this started it was easy to have a physical release. This lasted maybe a week. Then it changed again recently, and now I feel like there is less option again, like the energy is pushing it up, like it or not. And, of course, with every sexual thought, the energy circulates. So, is it your experience/do you think grounding helps to reduce this upward movement and make it easier to have a physical release, or is there something else I should be doing.
Really looking forward to your thoughts, comments and suggestions.
Kala
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2016 : 9:49:16 PM
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Kala
Most of us who more or less successfully weathered spontaneous k awakening had to learn (the hard way) to trust the process. Can you answer this question honestly: Do I trust the energy and what it is doing to me? Until you learn absolutely to trust the process, your top priority is merely to survive it. And what that means is to explore the various grounding methods using those that work for you. I found the mythology of k awakening helpful - Shiva is singing love songs to his beloved Shakti, who is frantic beyond loco to reach him. What are you going to do about that? The only pathway is up. So try each and every grounding technique until something is discovered that facilitates surrender to the Divine Energy. Because it is that surrender that will be most helpful in easing the anxiety and discomfort presently experienced.
love
parvati |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2016 : 01:10:09 AM
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Parvati,
I'm not sure I understand. Are you saying to use the grounding techniques until I can get over the fear and surrender to the process?
I guess I've been too afraid to trust the process. That's an honest answer. I really want to get over this and move on. I want so bad to feel free and just let go and be open to whatever happens. I'm trying to negotiate with the energy. This evening I was talking with it and it seemed to invite the negotiation. It seemed to ask me what I wanted. Anyway, I had a nice experience as the energy moved through me. I actually felt a good connection with god. But this was more of a forward feeling, like the third eye and heart opening up. It felt great. But that's different than the upward/crown of the head kind of feeling, which brings the anxiety. I don't know. As I said, I want to trust it, be free of the fear, and just go with it.
Peace,
Kala |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2016 : 10:10:53 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kala
Parvati,
I'm not sure I understand. Are you saying to use the grounding techniques until I can get over the fear and surrender to the process?
I guess I've been too afraid to trust the process. That's an honest answer. I really want to get over this and move on. I want so bad to feel free and just let go and be open to whatever happens. I'm trying to negotiate with the energy. This evening I was talking with it and it seemed to invite the negotiation. It seemed to ask me what I wanted. Anyway, I had a nice experience as the energy moved through me. I actually felt a good connection with god. But this was more of a forward feeling, like the third eye and heart opening up. It felt great. But that's different than the upward/crown of the head kind of feeling, which brings the anxiety. I don't know. As I said, I want to trust it, be free of the fear, and just go with it.
Peace,
Kala
From what is written here, it appears you are truly making excellent progress. Bravo!
Wanting to trust the process is a good start, as in reality you have no choice but to trust it. Developing a daily grounding routine will help immensely to ease the discomfort and slow everything down. You will find that as you continue to work with the process (as opposed to fighting or fearing it), you will become more comfortable with the spiritual transformation, and more skillful in facilitating it. Patience is required and should be cultivated. Rest assured that you are exactly where you need to be and all is well.
love
parvati |
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sunyata
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2016 : 4:56:35 PM
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Hi Kala,
May be take a nice vacation if you are able to. |
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Kala
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2016 : 9:18:41 PM
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Sunyata,
It's interesting you suggest that. Sometimes I think of getting together with an old friend and traveling across country. I also think of taking off and going to the beach for a week or long weekend. I've been scared to do these things, though, haha. I've been kind of frozen. I will do them eventually. I'm going to the lake in a few days to jet ski and boat and swim. I haven't done anything like that this year. I hope it won't be too stimulating. I'll keep it low key and chill. I've already told the people I'm going with that I have my doubts about whether or not it's a good idea. I may not go. We will see.
Thank you for your support.
Love and blessings,
Kala |
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Serious trouble with 'Tantra'
