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 Satsang Cafe - General Discussions on AYP
 painful blocked emotions
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Feb 21 2016 :  1:51:28 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Recently there have been some tough emotions for me, when I have been going through experiences I didn't want to have to go through. I found that for me to experience my emotions was very painful, unpleasant, and difficult. The emotions were so vivid and persistent. I tried to immerse into them and feel them, to accept them so that they could pass, and eventually that did help.

Do some others here experience their strong emotions as very difficult to accept and feel? Does anyone else here use sugar, food, or other distractions to get around or avoid difficult emotions?

I also find that I get fairly easily addicted to food, caffeine, the internet, or movies, and I think this is because I want to avoid the difficult emotions of plain life without distractions. Any thoughts or similar experiences?

Edited by - Godslave on Feb 21 2016 1:53:43 PM

Charliedog

1625 Posts

Posted - Feb 21 2016 :  2:39:51 PM  Show Profile  Visit Charliedog's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Sorry to hear about your painful experiences, Godslave. Do you have a meditation practice?

If yes, it could be that you are witnessing your emotions as stronger then before.

Maybe you can share something more about your practice...

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Ecdyonurus

Switzerland
479 Posts

Posted - Feb 21 2016 :  3:45:39 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi, I think that your strategy of getting busy/addicted to avoid facing pain/emotions is very, very common. We all do that to some extent. Becoming aware of that is a major step, so I think that you can be proud of yourself for writing your post. The next step is to find a method/practice that will help you to get rid of this strategy. IMO yoga is a powerful tool for that purpose, but it is also a gentle and therefore slow tool. Other approaches may lead to faster results but can also be much harder on you. It's up to you to chose the best approach for you. Wish you all the best.
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Feb 21 2016 :  7:51:29 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog

Sorry to hear about your painful experiences, Godslave. Do you have a meditation practice?

If yes, it could be that you are witnessing your emotions as stronger then before.

Maybe you can share something more about your practice...





Thanks for the response.

I have an irregular practice. Meditation over time has become a somewhat unnoticed part of my daily life. I do breathing and minor meditation as needed to clear my head. I also sometimes do the spinal breathing and deep meditation, but not on a schedule; often I do it when I feel like I'm tired or stressed.

I also have my own more spontaneous stretches, meditation, and breathing, and sometimes I used my hands, similar to acupressure, when I feel the need.

I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening in 2001 before I even knew what yoga was. Since then I've learned some Yoga, but none in person. I practiced what I learned from a book about Hatha yoga, and later from one about Kundalini Meditation which went through each chakra individually. My own meditations mainly involve breathing while imagining pulling the pain into my head, where it is released. Or, just witnessing in silence while doing "nothing".
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Feb 21 2016 :  7:57:26 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Ecdyonurus

Hi, I think that your strategy of getting busy/addicted to avoid facing pain/emotions is very, very common. We all do that to some extent. Becoming aware of that is a major step, so I think that you can be proud of yourself for writing your post. The next step is to find a method/practice that will help you to get rid of this strategy. IMO yoga is a powerful tool for that purpose, but it is also a gentle and therefore slow tool. Other approaches may lead to faster results but can also be much harder on you. It's up to you to chose the best approach for you. Wish you all the best.



Thanks for the response, that is encouraging. I don't usually have such strong emotions but recently some financial and work changes have happened and I've been reacting strongly to them. Some changes in my life like this can cause me to be responding and reacting for days afterward
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Charliedog

1625 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2016 :  07:37:54 AM  Show Profile  Visit Charliedog's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Godslave

quote:
I have an irregular practice. Meditation over time has become a somewhat unnoticed part of my daily life. I do breathing and minor meditation as needed to clear my head. I also sometimes do the spinal breathing and deep meditation, but not on a schedule; often I do it when I feel like I'm tired or stressed.


Recommended is a daily practice, for instance SBP and DM and for instance the stretching or asana, you described. This way you develop more inner silence, and more balance, it will help you in times of pain and strong emotions. Emotions will come and go as you know, it is you who can learn to be calm in roller coaster times, observing the emotions( this takes time and practice)
Reading and start the lessons of Yogani for instance, will give you more insights.

Also grounding exercises like walking or spend time in nature and socializing will help you to get out of your head and more into the body. Feel your feet, while walking, feel the breath, this will bring you in the present moment, when you really feel the body and the breath, you can not be at the same time with your thoughts.

Enjoy a steady practice



Edited by - Charliedog on Feb 22 2016 10:05:40 AM
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Feb 22 2016 :  3:56:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I think I'll re-start the Deep Meditation, once a day for now. Last year I was doing it for a number of weeks and then added in SBP but after a while I stopped because that, combined with caffeine, was too much energy for me.

I'm drinking less caffeine and I haven't done DM without SBP for a long time. I'll try starting just the DM by itself for a while.

With my schedule, a single time per day is easier to fit in and develop a routine with. I hope I can keep it going this time.

I also hope to do some more APY readings, maybe from Yogani's lessons online. I do have a number of the APY books as well but haven't reviewed the lessons fully, or finished reading all of the books.

Thanks for the replies.
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Feb 23 2016 :  6:40:38 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Yesterday I did one DM in the afternoon and didn't time it.

Today I did 5 mins DM in the morning and 5 mins DM in the afternoon. It helped calm my emotions. I plan to continue a pattern something like this, adjusting with self-pacing as needed. I may add in Spinal Breathing Pranayama after a few weeks of this, if I feel like I'm steady enough for it.

It's nice to be able to write here on this forum and get some helpful feedback from you :)
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jusmail

India
491 Posts

Posted - Feb 24 2016 :  02:49:15 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Morning and evening will be ideal. Afternoon isn't far behind. Anyway, sticking to a routine is the key. Also plan a few minutes of rest after meditation before you launch into regular activity.
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Charliedog

1625 Posts

Posted - Feb 25 2016 :  04:44:44 AM  Show Profile  Visit Charliedog's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
It's nice to be able to write here on this forum and get some helpful feedback from you :)


The writing will help you also to be more aware to experiences, it's a valuable tool in self-inquire.
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1731 Posts

Posted - Feb 25 2016 :  05:52:41 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Godslave

Have you stopped/reduced practices at some point in the past because of over-sensitivity?

If you are oversensitive, there are alternatives to mantra meditation. It's preferable to use a form of meditation that allows you to practise at least 10 minutes at a time.
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Feb 25 2016 :  4:49:05 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi BlueRainCoat,

Yes in the past I was doing Spinal Beathing followed by Deep Meditation and found that over 5 minutes was too much.

I could try the Deep Meditation for 10 minutes twice as day maybe.

What are the alternatives? Are they mentioned in Yogani's lessons?

Thanks
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1731 Posts

Posted - Feb 25 2016 :  5:00:59 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Godslave

Breath meditation is a less intense alternative to mantra meditation. If that is too much, then passive awareness meditation is the one to go for. They are part of the AYP teaching, but I think they can only be found in AYP Plus now (Lesson 367). You can get a subscription to AYP Plus for $10 a month. If you can't afford it, you can always apply for a scholarship.
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Feb 29 2016 :  3:55:41 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Doing 10 minutes of DM twice a day is working well. Around the 5-minute mark (I'm guessing) my thoughts calm down and I start to enter a state of silence, in which the energy vibrates up through my head. It feels great. It feels like home. It is very pleasant.
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Mar 15 2016 :  11:54:26 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I'm still doing the 10 minutes a day, and it's going well. I went on vacation this past week and that was really enjoyable despite some setbacks.
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Mar 28 2016 :  6:25:13 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I've been doing the 10 minutes DM each day, though I do skip some days on weekends. Usually, when I skip I don't feel as good.

I also get bored during those 10 minutes, frequently. But I return to the mantra.

2 days ago I added 5 minutes of SBP just before the 10 minutes. I like it so far.
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1731 Posts

Posted - Mar 29 2016 :  03:22:21 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Godslave

Sounds great.
Boredom can be one of the distractions appearing in meditation. Nothing unusual there and you are doing the right thing returning to the mantra.

Keep up the good work
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Godslave

Canada
110 Posts

Posted - Mar 29 2016 :  6:34:40 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thanks for the encouragement, BlueRaincoat :)
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BeStillAndKnow

Australia
24 Posts

Posted - May 31 2016 :  9:59:24 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Godslave

Recently there have been some tough emotions for me, when I have been going through experiences I didn't want to have to go through. I found that for me to experience my emotions was very painful, unpleasant, and difficult.

Do some others here experience their strong emotions as very difficult to accept and feel? Does anyone else here use sugar, food, or other distractions to get around or avoid difficult emotions?



Yes. For the past five years I had been walking the planet as a member of the living dead. Animated, but not living. That was after a horrible relationship. But truthfully I had been eating my emotions in the forum of coffee and cake for most of my life, that relationship was just the final straw that saw me check out of being emotionally connected. Eventually though life taught me that state could not persist forever. I ended up with PTSD.

I was then guided to a method of dealing with it. Something I am doing now. It's hard but I think it's working. At least I hope it is. I think the majority of the world are the living dead really. I don't think there is anything spectacular about my experience.
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lalow33

USA
966 Posts

Posted - Jun 01 2016 :  1:50:05 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by BeStillAndKnow

quote:
Originally posted by Godslave

Recently there have been some tough emotions for me, when I have been going through experiences I didn't want to have to go through. I found that for me to experience my emotions was very painful, unpleasant, and difficult.

Do some others here experience their strong emotions as very difficult to accept and feel? Does anyone else here use sugar, food, or other distractions to get around or avoid difficult emotions?



Yes. For the past five years I had been walking the planet as a member of the living dead. Animated, but not living. That was after a horrible relationship. But truthfully I had been eating my emotions in the forum of coffee and cake for most of my life, that relationship was just the final straw that saw me check out of being emotionally connected. Eventually though life taught me that state could not persist forever. I ended up with PTSD.

I was then guided to a method of dealing with it. Something I am doing now. It's hard but I think it's working. At least I hope it is. I think the majority of the world are the living dead really. I don't think there is anything spectacular about my experience.



This is good stuff! The world reflects your experience.
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sunyata

USA
1511 Posts

Posted - Jun 01 2016 :  1:59:39 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by BeStillAndKnow
I think the majority of the world are the living dead really.



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lalow33

USA
966 Posts

Posted - Jun 01 2016 :  2:04:02 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata

quote:
Originally posted by BeStillAndKnow
I think the majority of the world are the living dead really.






I was tempted to link to your grocery store post. OMG, suddenly there are conscious beings we run into. Same thing, world reflecting.

It's all good stuff!

Edited by - lalow33 on Jun 01 2016 2:06:10 PM
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sunyata

USA
1511 Posts

Posted - Jun 01 2016 :  2:20:09 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by lalow33

quote:
Originally posted by sunyata

quote:
Originally posted by BeStillAndKnow
I think the majority of the world are the living dead really.






I was tempted to link to your grocery store post. OMG, suddenly there are conscious beings we run into. Same thing, world reflecting.

It's all good stuff!



So true, lalow. Reminds of this sanskrit term "Aham Brahmasmi" which means "I am Brahman/Universe" or I am the creator of my universe.
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lalow33

USA
966 Posts

Posted - Jun 01 2016 :  2:32:31 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I just hope BeStillAnd Know know's she's on to something. I love your post.
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sunyata

USA
1511 Posts

Posted - Jun 01 2016 :  3:40:39 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by lalow33

I just hope BeStillAnd Know know's she's on to something. I love your post.



I'm sure "That" in her knows, it will be revealed sooner or later.
Nowhere to go except forward in this path. Love you.
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