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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 02 2016 : 10:54:10 AM
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You've got some lofty ideals, and you use lilting spiritual language to describe your insights and aspirations (which is good, and I do the same), but I wonder what's happening on a more practical level in your life. Do you have a job or go to school?
Though I am always on the lookout for fellow meditators and spiritual enthusiasts (that's why I'm in L.A. right now visiting Bobby and Chas, who I both met through the AYP network), I have found great satisfaction by communicating with and serving the people at my 40-hour-per-week job. There has been plenty of stillness in action, divine love, and maturity found there, though I didn't expect that in the the beginning.
Here's one more hint for you...you have to develop your ego before you can transcend it. If you want the so-called Divine with a capital D, you have to tap into all the little things at your disposal and use them as fertilizer for growth. Then it will become apparent that all the little divinities are just as divine as the Big Divinity you are seeking. That's ecstatic bliss.
Godspeed!  |
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2016 : 2:03:36 PM
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Lot of great advice already. As per the Indian tradition and scriptures Guru leads the way when you are in trouble or needs guidance. Now Most of the work will be done by you but when in doubt then with 100% surrender Guru will guide you the right way. I will share a story from my work place. This person can do the Astral travel and go out at will. But he said he does not know what is the right place to travel as there are some very bad places and he suffers when he comes back. Now there are other Advanced Yogis, the moment they go out Guru is always with them guiding them where to go. Just want to share this.
Since you are longing for it keep on doing your practices and at the right moment Guru will appear. You may experience in meditation or in physical form. At the end of the day you will know from the knowingness and experience of the self nobody else will know for you.
So just keep on going my friend good things are happening. Questioning itself is a great sign of progress. Very humbled by your Bhakti at such a young age.
All the best
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Chaz
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2016 : 5:11:34 PM
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@Sunyata, Charliedog, Dogboy - Thank you guys. Your words are helpful and encouraging.  
quote:
Originally posted by parvati9
You say you long to be identified with the Divine. Okay, but how are you defining the Divine? Herein perhaps lies the problem, and why it may be necessary to seek the guidance of a spiritual helper to sort. It is wise to not take seriously mental cues or past conclusions regarding the Divine. We tend to associate past experiences of ecstasy, rapture, truth, clarity or bliss with the Divine. Unlike these words, our true nature, which is Divine, doesn't readily translate into anything the mind can hold onto. No words, no concepts will suffice. We can only be, and through being without pretense or obstruction, in that we know what we are.
love
parvati
Hi Parvati,
I agree with what you're saying. All I can really speak on is what I have experienced. You are right that what I am referencing with these spiritual terms is beyond mental concepts. Those are just the best ways my mind can point towards the experience of that reality. The very last sentence in your post highlights the issue I'm having: "We can only be, and through being without pretense or obstruction, in that we know what we are."
Yes, this is true in my experience, and it is in that pure state of being that I feel most close to the Divine. It is not about the feeling states that are an extension of that but in the beingness that allows these states. I have felt it in both happy and difficult moments. It is in that beingness that I can feel an underlying peace permeating all experiences. In that state of being is where I have found the space to allow the unfolding of whatever is happening, be it desirable or not. In that state is where I have felt the freedom to fully feel even painful emotions, to cry, and still see the beauty in what was happening.
Now the issue here is the obstructions that obscure that state of being. There is the longing to just BE, exactly as I am in every moment. That is a reality I've already seen and felt. But there is also a strong tendency to let that reality become obscured by the obstructions, by pretense. This is what causes me trouble. It seems like you already understand that part. That is all I'm trying to get at here. My apologies if the definitions of the spiritual terms I used made what I'm saying seem like I'm longing for anything other than that. In fact what I'm after is quite the same as what you said in your last sentence. To be able to just be, without pretense or obstruction.
@Holy- Hi Holy,
I am very glad you contributed your understanding and experience on interacting with realized masters, as I was hoping you would. It very much is in line with what I intuitively feel is a step I would greatly benefit from. Thank you for sharing.
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
You've got some lofty ideals, and you use lilting spiritual language to describe your insights and aspirations (which is good, and I do the same), but I wonder what's happening on a more practical level in your life. Do you have a job or go to school?
Though I am always on the lookout for fellow meditators and spiritual enthusiasts (that's why I'm in L.A. right now visiting Bobby and Chas, who I both met through the AYP network), I have found great satisfaction by communicating with and serving the people at my 40-hour-per-week job. There has been plenty of stillness in action, divine love, and maturity found there, though I didn't expect that in the the beginning.
Here's one more hint for you...you have to develop your ego before you can transcend it. If you want the so-called Divine with a capital D, you have to tap into all the little things at your disposal and use them as fertilizer for growth. Then it will become apparent that all the little divinities are just as divine as the Big Divinity you are seeking. That's ecstatic bliss.
Godspeed!
Hi Bodhi,
As of recently I quit my last job, due to personal reasons (mostly related to mind stories) and wanting to spend a little extra time with my family after the holidays, as I had barely done so for over a year. Now I am looking for a new job. However, the majority of my time in NYC since moving here over a year ago I was working a steady job. As mentioned before I backed off heavily from practices during that period, and was just living my life, meeting new people, spending time with friends, working on my goals, exploring the city, etc etc. Recently I've signed up to an NYC community college to study Computer Science. So the practical side of life is not being avoided here. This is not about escaping ordinary life.
Let's throw all the heavy weighted spiritual terms away then. I'll break it down to this simple fact in my experience: ordinary life can not be seen for what it truly is from the perspective of the mind. It's really that simple. I know I'm not the only one with that experience. There is much to learn from ordinary living, but the mind can block those lessons from being integrated with its stories and judgements. The fact is in my experience my mind has sabotaged my ability to truly learn from situations many times, even when the opportunity for growth was clearly seen. This sabotaging has also got me in some trouble by putting myself in risky positions (such as quitting a job without a backup) because my mind would rather have its way or no way rather than use these situations for growth. In hindsight this is clearly recognizable, but in the moment not so much. So that became a clear issue and has been ongoing for a long time now. Again, I feel this is from misidentification with the mind.
Like I said, I enjoy my ego as my individual personality with all its quirks and challenges. But I disagree with you on the idea that development of ego must come before transcendence of it. I think both processes can happen simultaneously and leverage each other in such a way. I won't be able to tweak and develop my ego if I am constantly caught up in it. For example a computer can't just reprogram itself, you need the programmer for that. Similarly I have to go beyond the mind (to the source of it) in order to make real changes and developments. So I am at a point where I feel I need to be more identified with what I am that is beyond my mind which will allow me to better observe how it functions and use it properly without getting caught up in it. I hope what I'm saying makes better sense without all the big spiritual terms mixed in. 
@PKJ - Thank you. Glad you shared. Wishing all the best for you as well.
Thanks a lot everyone. Much love!
Chaz
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Edited by - Chaz on Feb 02 2016 5:33:56 PM |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2016 : 10:09:33 PM
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Chaz
I'm not sure it's possible to adequately convey what was intended. But this time we'll directly address the strong mind, something we both admittedly have.
The strong - but not so quiet - mind will ultimately (with proper training) become very beneficial in terms of embracing paradoxes, seeing through illusions, and offering support through unpleasant passages ... essential attributes.
But that comes later, when it is no longer demanding to run the show. In the beginning, a strong mind can be problematic. And that is partially because it is so adept and adamant in manipulating words and concepts, to our detriment. We end up rationalizing, over-analyzing, and utilizing verbal competence when it should be noted all of that is basically irrelevant to the task. A strong mind can cause us to lose track of that for which we are longing, to focus on the unessential and obscure the vital. What is vital, of course, is our true Self. Everything else falls into place, with our attention directed accordingly.
We certainly have a variety of options for self-sabotage. As long as we keep mentally excusing, justifying, explaining, exploiting our verbal skill, keeping our attention on, or simply talking about the self-sabotage.. we are actually adding to the momentum already begun... This is not helping; it is only compounding the obscuration. If we truly want to make satisfying progress on the path, our own minds have to be outwitted and allowed to subside. Referred to as transcendence.
To really achieve this transcendence, we have to stop relying on the mind for its performance in explaining and clarifying. We may have to tell it to shut up, or refuse to listen. That's where we recognize that only being is effective. Especially being present with difficult emotions and experiences. Cognitive understanding is frequently the opposite of being. The strong mind is often very masterful at spinning stories which pass for clarification. (In reviewing this thread, notice how masterfully you have engaged in very detailed explanations attempting to pinpoint and clarify the dilemma ...haha I do the same thing.) A guru can point out the nonsense - but can a guru do the actual trail blazing? No. That is a product of our personalized innovation and stamina. With the mind assisting and not hindering.
Wishing you the very best on your spiritual journey
love
parvati |
Edited by - parvati9 on Feb 02 2016 10:39:38 PM |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2016 : 10:30:51 PM
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quote:
Yes, this is true in my experience, and it is in that pure state of being that I feel most close to the Divine. It is not about the feeling states that are an extension of that but in the beingness that allows these states. I have felt it in both happy and difficult moments. It is in that beingness that I can feel an underlying peace permeating all experiences. In that state of being is where I have found the space to allow the unfolding of whatever is happening, be it desirable or not. In that state is where I have felt the freedom to fully feel even painful emotions, to cry, and still see the beauty in what was happening.
Now the issue here is the obstructions that obscure that state of being. There is the longing to just BE, exactly as I am in every moment. That is a reality I've already seen and felt. But there is also a strong tendency to let that reality become obscured by the obstructions, by pretense.
Hi Chaz,
It sounds as if you have a very clear longing for divine knowledge and a very clear perception of what that is, based on glimpses that you have had of it so far. It also sounds like you recognise that there are obstructions that are standing in your way and which are keeping you from living that state all of the time.
As far as removing obstructions go, in order to see more clearly the true nature of our being, in yoga, that really comes down to practices. So the question has to be, what practices are you doing and how often? You mention above that you are doing just 10 minutes of Deep Meditation twice a day and yet you also say that there is a sense of urgency in this for you.
10 minutes of meditation, twice a day is very little. Is there a reason why you are only doing this much?
Christi |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2016 : 01:02:55 AM
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Good luck with the Computer Science. Glad you are tapping into your talents. You have a sharp mind.
I'm enrolled to get a massage therapy license, so I'm also trying to broaden my horizon.
The ego and the mind are the vehicles of enlightenment. Illuminated Ego. Illuminated Mind. When they are both illuminated, we see the truth more clearly. The truth is joy. Joy is the ultimate siddhi.
Transcendence does not erase things, per se. Transcendence integrates and masters things.
Therefore, master and integrate. Practice yields mastery. Active surrender yields integration.
Space and time are the best friends of eternity. The mind is time. The mind is space. Eternity holds the mind of space and time in its hands.
Paradise is unfolding before all of our senses.
(For the first time in a while, I slept in the same bed with a fellow heterosexual male. I started laughing uncontrollably. My stomach muscles were like a bundle of fireworks exploding with sounds of elation. He said: "Let it out. It's beautiful." We practiced Deep Meditation, Spinal Breathing, and Samyama in the hotel room with two other buddies. I perceived ordinary life as it truly is through the perspective of my mind. So...there.  )
Just relax. |
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2016 : 1:35:07 PM
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| Advise extreme caution many false lights out there. |
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Chaz
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2016 : 5:53:47 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by parvati9
To really achieve this transcendence, we have to stop relying on the mind for its performance in explaining and clarifying. We may have to tell it to shut up, or refuse to listen. That's where we recognize that only being is effective. Especially being present with difficult emotions and experiences. Cognitive understanding is frequently the opposite of being.
Completely agree with much of your post, Parvati. I would just like to point out that it is that state of just being that I am having trouble with. It is not unknown to me, but maintaining it long enough to truly see past the strong mind is what is proving difficult. Many make it sound easy and simple, maybe it is for them, but that has not been my experience. The tendency to constantly direct attention towards the mind has proven to be strong.
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Hi Chaz,
It sounds as if you have a very clear longing for divine knowledge and a very clear perception of what that is, based on glimpses that you have had of it so far. It also sounds like you recognise that there are obstructions that are standing in your way and which are keeping you from living that state all of the time.
As far as removing obstructions go, in order to see more clearly the true nature of our being, in yoga, that really comes down to practices. So the question has to be, what practices are you doing and how often? You mention above that you are doing just 10 minutes of Deep Meditation twice a day and yet you also say that there is a sense of urgency in this for you.
10 minutes of meditation, twice a day is very little. Is there a reason why you are only doing this much?
Christi
Hi Christi,
I agree 10 mins of DM is very little. Prior to falling off my routine I was regularly practicing 7 mins SB, 15 mins DM, Samyama, asanas, tantric practices with brahmacharya, and many other practices were added here and there based on what I felt was needed. But my primary routine (Asanas, SB, DM, Samyama, Bramacharya) was mostly steady, twice a day. Reason I'm doing only 10 mins twice a day now is because after several months of completely dropping my routine I'm trying to re-establish the habit again without overwhelming myself to the point I don't keep up with it.
Really it just comes down to building discipline. Plus I can never really tell if what I'm experiencing is the result of overloading or not. But in case it is I'm building up my routine slowly to test the waters and see if anything improves or worsens. This is where it seems beneficial to have help from someone advanced enough to point out what may be happening on the level of awareness and energy in relation to the obstructions and what might be helpful. But yes, so far 10 mins has proven to feel like it's not enough judging by how abrupt it seems when the timer goes off. I think I will increase the time now that I've been consistently sitting twice a day.
@Bodhi- Thank you. Also, what was it about sleeping in the same bed with another straight male that made you laugh so much? Just curious.
@So-Hi - Thank you So-Hi. Caution is being taken.  |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2016 : 9:46:07 PM
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| I can't quite put my finger on it. A variety of factors, probably. I guess it's just another symptom of purification and opening. And the show goes on. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2016 : 10:12:13 PM
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Hi Chaz,
That is good to build up slowly, just not too slowly.
As for knowing how to tell if you are experiencing energetic overload or not, basically energetic overload produces experiences that are uncomfortable or painful. That is the basic rule of thumb. From there you need to work out if what you are experiencing that is uncomfortable or painful is actually being caused by too much prana in the body.
For example, if you get a headache, it could be caused by coffee withdraw, or by over-straining in meditation, or by too much prana in the body. So if you can rule out the first two, then that would point to energetic overload. With something like not being able to sleep at night, that can be caused by having an excess of prana in the body. Whether that is energetic overload or not will depend on how you are able to deal with it. Some people can manage fine simply with less sleep, in which case they can continue with practices as before. Others will find it uncomfortable which would be a sign to self-pace.
So self-pacing and recognising the symptoms of overload is an art which becomes increasingly refined. It is really something that we have to explore for ourselves.
It would be great to have an enlightened teacher who could tell us every time we experience something, how we need to react based on that experience. Personally I have had many enlightened teachers and not one of them has done that for me. I have always had to do it for myself. They were simply too busy with other things.
If you are in doubt about any particular experience, you can always ask here.
Christi |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2016 : 12:20:51 PM
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"The tendency to constantly direct attention toward the mind has proven to be strong" ---------
Can you use your will to thwart that tendency?
It is suggested to begin with short sessions of directed attention, then gradually expand. Use common sense and remember to self pace.
By 'willing' to do so, attention can be trained, and thus focus more on processes going on within you that involve nonthinking. This requires only the will to do so, making the time to do it, and the discipline to carry through. But don't count on it being easy.
Pay more attention to emotions and sensations:
For example, whatever emotion has come up... attend to that. Feel what you are feeling, be present with it, take the time to feel it deeply without resistance. Refuse to allow thinking to take over. (Obviously this will be easier with comfortable pleasant emotions than with uncomfortable unpleasant ones) ... Experience has also shown how enormously helpful it is to pay attention to the body, and whatever messages the body is sending. These sensory messages are vitally important to our health and wellbeing. Take the time and learn to remain present with those bodily sensations. When attention drifts to thinking, be clear and confident about bringing attention back to the body. Tune in to your emotions and physical sensations. Don't allow mental stories to creep in. Be very clear about guiding, controling and redirecting your attention. Remember that you are in control of your mind; your mind is not in control of you.
This takes time and lots of practice focusing the attention. Practicing in this way could well be seen as unlearning (or thwarting social conditioning which obscures the true self). Through this unlearning, obstructions diminish as we facilitate the return to our natural state.
love
parvati |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2016 : 02:19:05 AM
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Dear Chaz,
Sorry for responding so late. I've been busy with work and have not been on the Forum much, but just noticed your post today and wanted to contribute. Others have already given you a lot of good advice. FWIW, here's my perspective:
What you are describing - the leaky boat, two steps forward and one step back, the monkey-mind sabotaging itself, etc. - sounds like an accurate description of human existence as I remember it. Ultimately the boat is going to sink, but it's ok because you can swim. The monkey will eventually tire of its antics and settle down when it is good and ready. There is nowhere to go and nothing to worry about.
Re: gurus. I have some experience with that. When I was your age I very much wanted a guru and I had the privilege of studying with several of them, some well-known and others obscure. In my teens I considered Yogananda my guru, as I was enrolled in SRF, and later I got to spend some time in satsang with Swami Kriyananda (one of his disciples), great guy, funny story for another post. I also studied with Ram Dass and received shaktipat from him which put me in samadhi for a few days and then inevitably wore off, as these things do. I wanted it back; I wanted him to "fix" me and put an end to the struggle, the search, the longing. He didn't do that; he blessed me and sent me on my way. I spent a 3-day retreat with the Dalai Lama and received from him the initiation of Padmasambhava, again an awesomely mind-blowing experience which seemed to fade after a few days and only became apparent (that it was here all along!) in the last few years.
A friend who was into some form of advaita introduced me to his guru visiting from India, I never knew his name. My friend said I was supposed to ask the guru my important questions so he could remove my blocks and enlighten me, but I couldn't think of any questions. In his presence my mind went totally blank and I was simply basking in the Bliss. I was last in line, and when it was my turn to speak with him he said, "Do you have a question for me?" and I replied, "I am sorry, I really can't think of any good questions. I'm just happy to be here." He smiled and we hung out in silence for a few minutes, then he said, "Come walk with me," and we strolled around the rose garden together, a rare treat, as gurus rarely have time to just hang out with us. My friend was furious at me for wasting the opportunity to become enlightened.
A musician friend introduced me to an elderly lady guru whom I knew only as "Ma." She was a very wise, powerful being and I wanted her to be my guru. When we sat down in meditation, I could feel her "probing" my consciousness deeply; it was a little unnerving but I kept my focus. After some time she said, "Ah, you have already dug a very deep well! That is good. You drink from your own well. Namaste," and she too blessed me and sent me on my way. I wanted to go study with her at her ashram and she said no.
Back in 2011 I attended an online conference and learned a variation on breathing technique that changed my reality, not just for a few days, but for good. I was thrilled when I was invited to attend an intensive retreat with that teacher to become certified in his school. From his lectures and writings I learned that we were very much on the same page; he was saying all the things that I'd come to realize in the course of my own lifelong journey, integrating many different aspects of yoga, and I was amazed to hear somebody besides me saying it. And his tweaking of the practice technique had made it all Real, even over the internet! We had so much in common and he being a few years older and wiser than me, I was sure this person would become my guru, although I was no longer looking for one.
A few months prior to the retreat I discovered the AYP Forum and immediately felt at Home with the people here, and sensed absolute Genuineness from Yogani, who said "The Guru is in you."
When I went to the retreat and met my teacher, at first he was kind of mean, as if testing me. He interrogated me and made rude comments which I tolerated, thinking that he was adorable. I assumed it was just some kind of reindeer game that gurus play. But, he stated very clearly several times during the retreat, "I am NOT the guru! Your ishta is the guru - Jesus, Krishna, Amma, whoever that is for you, in your own heart. I am merely a friend. A yoga teacher is a friend, nothing more, nothing less; a friend who is further along on the path and can help you on the way." He said "guru" relationships are unhealthy because they perpetuate the illusion of Attainment which somebody else has and you don't, when really there is nothing to be attained by anybody... Regarding your desire to simply Be, my teacher said, "You've heard 'be here now.' Well, you ARE here now! There is nowhere to go." Finally near the end of the week he sat down with me, his tone now warm and friendly, and said, "Nice to have you here. It can be lonely on the mountain, great to have friends... but look, you don't need me. You don't need anybody." He gave me a big hug, certified me as a teacher in his school and sent me on my way and that was that. Since then we've had very little communication and a couple of minor arguments. I no longer necessarily believe that he is wiser than me, but I love and respect him all the same.
Throughout this spiritual journey that began when I was around 12 years old, I've also met several people who volunteered to be my "guru," giving advice where none was asked, telling me things I supposedly needed to hear, how to live my life, how to "improve" myself, to become Enlightened - for a price, whether emotional, sexual or financial. Obviously those types should be avoided. People who have this deep need to "fix" others are often acting from projection and/or greed.
Overall my experience with gurus is that the good ones say "the guru is in you." They don't fix you. They tell you to look within, do your yoga practice consistently with self-pacing, etc. And unlike incarnate "gurus" who are surrounded by many, many devotees and have little time for each one, the ishta is there for you 24/7 and since He/She lives in your heart, this prevents the temptation to externalize and place your faith in someone else. Also the ishta is way more intimate.
Perhaps you will meet incarnate being/s who will teach or guide you in some manner that is appropriate for you at that time. Or, maybe they will screw you over and mess with your head. Either way you will learn from it. Ultimately the guru is in you and the process will unfold just as it is supposed to. I hope that is helpful but I suspect it probably isn't. In any case, much Love to you, bro!
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Edited by - Radharani on Feb 06 2016 6:39:39 PM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2016 : 04:07:01 AM
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@Radharani
Thank you for sharing your story, it touched my heart. I believe I am exactly on the same page as you in this guru/teacher question. |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2016 : 08:24:28 AM
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Thank You for sharing your wise words, Radharani.So true, we have to do our own laundry.I'm drawn to Swami Kriyananda as well, never met him in person. He writes such beautiful devotional songs and sings them from that place. "What is this energy flowing through my veins..." is my favorite.
Sunyata |
Edited by - sunyata on Feb 06 2016 08:41:16 AM |
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yogani
USA
5241 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2016 : 10:50:21 AM
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Beautiful story, Radharani.
And as true an accounting on the subject of gurus as can be found anywhere.
The guru is in you.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2016 : 12:30:59 PM
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| Radharani |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2016 : 12:50:12 PM
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Thank you Radharani ..
love
parvati |
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Beehive
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2016 : 1:08:57 PM
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"I hope that is helpful but I suspect it probably isn't".
It's very helpful and I appreciate your taking the time to write this. Am looking forward to the story about Swarmi Kriyanada too..... so don't forget to come back to write that one! |
Edited by - Beehive on Feb 06 2016 4:34:53 PM |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2016 : 9:38:08 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Thank You for sharing your wise words, Radharani.So true, we have to do our own laundry.I'm drawn to Swami Kriyananda as well, never met him in person. He writes such beautiful devotional songs and sings them from that place. "What is this energy flowing through my veins..." is my favorite.
Sunyata
Wow, Sunyata, it's so nice to meet somebody else who is familiar with Swami Kriyananda! The only other folks I know who are aware of him were in SRF. Yeah, I love his songs. The other thing I really love about him is that he brought kriya yoga to the Franciscan monks and nuns in Assisi, Italy. Upon googling him today - was trying to confirm, as I recall his middle name was "Francis" - I learned he went Home in 2013. I am so very grateful to have had the opportunity to spend time with him and learn from him. |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2016 : 10:05:40 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Beehive
"I hope that is helpful but I suspect it probably isn't".
It's very helpful and I appreciate your taking the time to write this. Am looking forward to the story about Swarmi Kriyanada too..... so don't forget to come back to write that one!
Dear Beehive,
I spent a lot of time at Ananda Village (Swami K's N. CA ashram) in my early 20s. I had a crush on Swami and it was very awkward to be around him, because I was sure he could read my thoughts when he looked into my eyes and I was embarrassed.  Given the extremely "sex negative" SRF teachings, I was a very naughty girl for having sexual attraction towards the celibate holy man. If he did know of my feelings, he was always kind, gentle and gracious and gave no indication of being offended, but I felt unworthy to be in his presence.
Well, as it turns out, many years later I learned that at the same time when I was staying at the ashram, some other bold young yoginis were breaking into Swami's house at night, jumping into his bed and basically having their way with him!  Bad yoginis! Poor Swamiji! I guess I really missed the boat on that one. 
I previously discussed this here and here.
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Beehive
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2016 : 1:13:55 PM
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| Thanks for that Radharani..... you have really had some great experiences. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2016 : 1:51:13 PM
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"Poor Swamiji!" Just had a good lough reading your post Radharani.
Maybe that's why Yogani doesn't come out of the closet... It seems being a public figure comes with some PR constraints. Swami K may have been a little naive on that one point. I didn't know that story - I hope he didn't have too hard a time with that lawsuit. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2016 : 2:40:02 PM
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@Radharani
Since you seemed to have followed the story - may I ask, was he found guilty? |
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2016 : 08:06:42 AM
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Well, as it turns out, many years later I learned that at the same time when I was staying at the ashram, some other bold young yoginis were breaking into Swami's house at night, jumping into his bed and basically having their way with him! Bad yoginis!
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I guess I really missed the boat on that one.
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Maybe that's why Yogani doesn't come out of the closet...
Ladies, Ladies.... you are cracking me up this morning LMFAO Thanks
Poor Swamiji puhhhhleassse he was having a blast!!
Can't say I blaim him either! Rock on Swami K Rock on!
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