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Purohit
India
43 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 18 2015 : 07:04:09 AM
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Hi Friends,
I have been intending to post this for a long time.
I am 35, male, single and into Non AYP practice...
I started my sadhana vide a shaktipaath deeksha about 4 and a half years back. Before this initiation i was carrying a loose lifestyle but i was ambitious and successful at my job.
Once my sadhana started, most of my negativities and drinks stopped.
Bliss came in from day one, and there was now a ultimate goal for life... which i seeking but was not aware.
However my work situation became challening as my ambition also dropped considerably, or rather i stopped liking my job ( sales and networking). Owing to grace my sales numbers were good ( i did very less),and i also got good performance ratings . But it was painful to come to office daily. So one day i resigned without getting any other job. Thankfully my superior that time did not accept it, and my job was saved.
Over the last one year there is a transformation in myself and i have started to become more responsible at work and trying my best to work skillfully. However i still do not like my profile and am not getting other any job/work inspite of all efforts.
My good luck has since run out. I have a new boss who is hell bent on making me resign and has put me on a three month notice, with a lot of humilating/dressing down episodes in between. And in spite of all my efforts, i am getting my worst sales figures ever, which makes it look like i need to put down my papers or be terminated.
Financially i have dependent parents and i have savings to keep us afloat but the intent is not to run away from responsibilities and life but to be successful in all aspects.
THouhgts like this ( i never had it in me, there was never a chance for me, i just dont have it in me ) are preventing me from making much constructive activity...
Would appreciate comments/ sharing of similar experiences so that i may gain a larger perspective..
Thanks |
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amuhai
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2015 : 12:57:43 AM
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Hello Purohit,
Welcome to the club. I have been in your situation not once, but a few times.
In work situations that are getting worse---when I think of the work, or before getting up for work, I usually get constrictions around the heart area and sometimes cannot breathe well. I get forebodings and ill-feelings about work, and always leave before being fired.
In one case, the feeling was so bad, I got up that morning and immediately went to the store and bought some gifts. Then, was called into the office of the people in charge at work. I knew intuitively what was going to happen. Before they could say anything, I presented them the gifts and quit. The constrictive feeling in the heart area vanished. And I left happily and leisurely took another job a few months later.
Like you, I had several months savings built up. But even if I did not, I still would have left. No need feeling that miserable ….there are always other jobs.
One's mental and physical health are precious assets that can always be utilized in more favorable environments. I don't believe in “sticking it out to the very end” in nasty situations...and whose end would that be, by the way?
Over here, there's technique called samyama. You briefly and mentally “feel” your need or situation, and release that into silence. But even this “feeling” can be too much for some folks….like tightening your jaws, rear end, toes and fists while praying….it makes the silence difficult to reach. So, I just forget the problems, and instead meditate and focus on the peace and silence. And then go about my daily business, whether that be playing or planning another job or research. Works for me. There's a saying….The Silent Creator knows all things….
Good Luck, and Peace.
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Purohit
India
43 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2015 : 05:02:24 AM
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Dear Amuhai,
The only real reason for holding on has been the feeling that somehow all difficult situations are unresolved issues in the pshyche and they are bound to repeat in circles, unless and until the real cause is resolved. It might as well be an misuided assumption also but i have been holding on, hoping to face it and get over it once and for all, but who knows...
quote:
One's mental and physical health are precious assets that can always be utilized in more favorable environments. I don't believe in “sticking it out to the very end” in nasty situations...and whose end would that be, by the way?
NOt to mention the job is very well paying,plus a fear of not getting another job. Also jobs are not very easy to get out here, but lets see.
Something very similar to samyama is instructed in our sadhana as well. Difference between samyama is of feeling/visualizing specific outcomes or goals in deep silence.
Thanks for your comments. Your reply makes acceptance of the situation much easier..
The silent creator is being deeply sought after right now...
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2015 : 09:39:52 AM
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To quit a job without having its replacement is not intelligent or responsible especially with dependents.
Part of sadhana is learning to be here now, somehow people get the idea that the outside world should somehow be in reflection to their inner world but that is a fantasy.
Reality is quite different. I am not heartless when saying this as just like everyone else have experienced what you are explaining in relation to Sadhana. The way I have learned to deal with it is to schedule my work and then do what I have written down in order.
So it is a division of Management and labor. Management says today this list of things needs to be done tomorrow.
Labor takes care of the doing the following day and before ending the day management creates tomorrows to do list.
This how to perform and be effective while also no longer being able to invest your attachment into the day to day. this is all a part of adapting to what we in AYP call the witness state.
Ask yourself what needs to be done, and listen the answer will come out of the stillness. This works in sales and networking also your intuition will take over. Write it down and do it.
My advice is to satisfy your boss, if they are paying you well and you are not performing then you will be terminated.
If you can not find a job and have and are really doing your best and they terminate your employment then the lesson is self evident and the choice is no longer yours.
You do not belong in this line of work.
Sales is very demanding and one of the hardest jobs anyone can ever have, there is also very little control over weather you will look like a hero or a bum. You will always be living off of someones opinion of you and not everyone is going to like you.
I realized this early in life that Sales is not dependible and most higher ups in the field were of despicable character and wanted nothing to do with them in my life.
For myself I have discovered that to be happy in my work it can not be all sales or all labor but if you can blend the two it is best of all.
If you are not finding a job in your field then perhaps you need to consider scaling back your expenses save what you can till termination and in the meantime be realistic and think about what you can do to earn a living that allows you to be of service in some way to others and also use your sales skills, but the emphasis should be on service that is reliable needed in your area and will provide a reoccurring source of revenue for you.
Let sales be the bonus or the door to providing the service, then you should be ok.
If all you can do is scoop Dog Crap then be the best, believe it or not in the United States there are companies who make money picking up Dog Crap. |
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Purohit
India
43 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2015 : 02:42:54 AM
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Dear So-HI,
Thanks for your words of wisdom. Truly grateful.( from the way, you have defined sales profession, its experientally true but i could not have written it down so crisply, inspite of spending more than a decade in sales)
Just a small update of my experiences. Although i am aware of entire AYP practises, and a keen reader of the support forums, i somehow never attuned myself to any self pacing.Main premise was that my basic practise is different from AYP. AS also i never really faced much difficulty in my physical body as it generally feels healthier by the day.
Last weekend i read YOGani's Deep MEditation book in a detailed format and realized i was trying to not focus on what i was feeling during my activity time, and therein was a major block. I am trying to get to the other side of life ( enlightenment) as fast as possible neglecting the present,and not analyzing the real impact on my daily life. There is a portion in the book he writes how hitting ourselves on the head does not help us.. Much grateful to Yogani.
I have since made modifications in my practise ( some advice from a senior practitioner from my sadhana also helped). More Shiva and less Shakti practise now. Will keep on experimenting to try and find out my own personal and stable practise..
There seems to be a magical difference in my life for last few days, as i feel like i have fallen in between of something,it feels like i am in the NOW that i have read in many books ( acceptance of situations without resistance, deep peace ,stillness. Its like a space has been created between me and everything that is happening. I am in a deep place of peace as i write now.
Amazingly i have got two ( completely unexpected )large deals in sales which gets me very close to the performance target i have been given for this month. My relationship to my job seems to have changed from resistance to peace...
Funny how things can change instantly . Amusing that one can read about others experiences and guidances, but still not learn.
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2015 : 07:39:57 AM
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Great to hear! Never underestimate the wisdom of Yogani. You do not have to be an AYP practitioner to learn from him.
I was a Kriya Yogi for a long time and still learned from him over the years.
You might find even more that will be of interest on AYP plus site it is pretty comprehensive, no need to change your sadhana to be in the company of fellow travelers. Although it might happen.
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Purohit
India
43 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2015 : 06:50:25 AM
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The temptation to move over is there, at many times..
I do not underestimate Yogani at all, just that i found my guru first, and yogani and ayp later.
AS for ayp plus, there is a technical issue. I generally do internet browsing through my office laptop. Presently the software /office systems are allowing me access only to aypsite.org. ( aypsite.com, aypplus.org and aypplus.com are all blocked)
I can look at subscribing to AYPplus only when i move over to my personal laptop for internet access. Present life condition allows me free time at home only on weekends.
I will wait for my cake, and then eat it... |
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2015 : 07:53:36 AM
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No need to change Gurus either, but you know that.
If you are lucky enough to have a true Guru then that is your Guru. I also have a Guru but it is not Yogani.
I think of Yogani more as an advanced older brother who wants to help others.
In this he has done a wonderful job. |
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Purohit
India
43 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2015 : 12:53:02 AM
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Dear So- Hi,
Nice experience of chatting with you.
In our sadhana, we are taught to look upto Guru as an element, and not only as a specific physical body..
As a natural consequence all Guru's become as holy as my personal Guru, and so also Yogani.
The remarkable part about Yogani is that he is easily accessible to all, and speaks everbody else's language...
i parrot quite a lot of ayp and yogani language to my fellow practitioners. And now self pacing also will get added
Thank you |
Edited by - Purohit on Aug 28 2015 01:29:41 AM |
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