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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 17 2015 : 7:42:10 PM
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Blog #24: Akasha – Inner Space
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-24-akasha-inner-space/
The manifest universe is a dream in the mind of God. My individual perspective is an extension of that dream, and therefore, we could say that the experience of individuality is a dream within a dream. One Big Dream...generating countless little dreams.
The element that links all the little dreams together is inner space, or akasha. It is the most subtle, profound, and all-encompassing of the five classical elements. And what is akasha made of? It is made of none other than consciousness itself. This manifest awareness is the fabric that holds together the content of our interior world (thoughts, emotions, relationships, energy, and so on).
Akasha rests on the edge of stillness and vibration, on the cusp of infinite and finite, on the border between physical and non-physical. It is a medium sewn into the tapestry of space and time. Because of its intricate and fundamental role in existence, akasha grants us the opportunity to bend the laws of physicality in ways that are far-reaching and mind-boggling.
Let me be more specific. Have you ever felt connected to someone who was very far away—separated by many miles of physical distance, yet somehow perceived to be immediately close to you, even within you? Maybe a long-distance friend came into your mind, then you received a phone call from them only moments later. At some point, these kind of synchronistic events happen to everybody, with varying degrees of lucidity and recurrence. It's very natural.
Akasha is what makes such exchanges possible. The more tuned in we are to inner space, the more we can cross boundaries and distances that once seemed uncrossable. Such is the miracle of the infinite touching the finite.
As was mentioned in the last blog about air, there is a sutra in samyama called "Akasha - Lightness of Air". Akasha and air are quite similar because they are both mediums which hold objects and allow those objects to traverse across their spaciousness. For air, it's physical phenomena. For akasha, it's the phenomena of the interior world.
Paradoxically, there is no absolute line dividing akasha and the other elements. Just as the atmosphere of Earth has no hardened boundary between itself and outer space (there are only layers overlapping each other), so does akasha intertwine with fire, water, earth, and air.
Because of this interconnectedness, we can see quite clearly that all of life is aware. All of life is connected. All of life is happening across a boundless field of awareness, which is the platform for the spacetime continuum.
Make contact with your inner space, and deepen that relationship. You won't regret it. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2015 : 5:54:00 PM
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Blog #25: Principles
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-25-principles/
I don't sink my teeth much into dogmatic beliefs, but I still find it useful and worthwhile to refer to some guiding principles from time to time. In the last few years of recovery and ongoing enlightenment, here are some of the main ones that seem consistently true, and in line with the baseline of AYP:
—There is not much truth or effectiveness in claiming the identity of an alcoholic or addict, especially as a core part of self; due to its toxicity, drinking alcohol is inherently problematic, regardless of moderation, or lack thereof
—The ultimate source of addiction, which is bhakti (desire for union), is pure; what is impure are the inferior methods of satisfying that desire, and even such impurities stem from what is purest
—Personal willpower, the ego, and the mind, are not only extremely valuable in the spiritual quest of humanity, but also absolutely necessary for any progress to be made in recovery or enlightenment; active surrender is not a destruction of these three aspects of self (personal or impersonal), but rather an illumination of them
—The true litmus test of spiritual development is determined by a person's radiance, a.k.a. outpouring of divine love, which occurs in both seen and unseen ways, and is easily discernible in mundane activities and interpersonal relationships—ranging from the most intimate to the most public
—Any spiritual teacher or teaching that leaves out (deliberately or unintentionally) the implications of cosmic consciousness (beyond Earth), is lacking fullness and depth at this stage in human evolution; imaginative theology and fictional mythology, though beautiful in their own right, are not the same as genuine cosmic consciousness
—The expressions of creativity, ingenuity, harmony, and genius—within all human endeavors—are direct reflections of our spiritual maturity, both as individuals and as a whole
—The flow of unity supports and sustains the reality of multi-faceted diversity, thereby honoring the paradox of the Many being One, and the One being Many
—The divine feminine and the divine masculine play malleable, but ultimately equal, parts in the miraculous dance of life
—The validity of any spiritual practice, belief, or technique can easily be determined in a scientific manner that relies upon direct observation of cause and effect, with personal experience being granted its necessary and proportional role in any analysis and drawing of conclusions
—The most sublime and supreme knowledge is knowingness, or unknowing, which is not dependent on objective facts, but rather on an inner peace that passes all understanding; even so, objective constructs and fixtures do not threaten or run contrary to the infinite silence and stillness which underlie all vibration
—Love is the beginning, middle, and end of all reality, including any perceived delusions that occur in the spectrum of unfoldment and beingness |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2015 : 10:35:50 PM
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quote:
—The divine feminine and the divine masculine play malleable, but ultimately equal, parts in the miraculous dance of life
This truth permeates my blissful arousals, revealing my androgynous soul  |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2015 : 11:39:00 PM
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 So glad to hear, Dogboy. Thank you for reading. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2015 : 8:52:46 PM
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Blog #26: Cleverness
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-26-cleverness/
In the novel Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, the young protagonist Siddhartha encounters the older Buddha and immediately begins to question the validity of the master's teachings, to which Buddha replies: "You are clever, O Samana [wandering ascetic]. You know how to speak cleverly. Be on your guard against too much cleverness!"
That scene has always stuck with me. I totally relate to young Siddhartha's cleverness. There have been plenty of times when I've tried to to outsmart this game of life. In fact, I would say that using drugs and alcohol is one big attempt to outsmart the mechanics of life, and enlightenment.
Since our body's nervous system responds predictably to certain molecules and chemicals, we can tinker and toy with drugs and alcohol by artificially inducing preferred states of consciousness. For instance, let's look at marijuana.
Marijuana induces a meditative state akin to the one resulting from Deep Meditation. With smoking pot, you just take a few tokes, and boom!—THC enters the respiratory system and bloodstream, then you are stoned in a matter of seconds. With meditation, the process of cultivating calmness can take considerably longer (though sometimes it happens pretty quickly), and instead of relying on an entheogenic plant, we rely on a native vibration within our own mind. See the difference?
Shortcuts can slow us down, and there is a price to pay when we trick the nervous system.
When I was in elementary school, I had a friend that brought counterfeit dollar bills to school one day. He had made a big stack of fake bills using a standard copy machine. It was nothing professional. They were black-and-white, paper copies and slightly blurry. Yet, I was able to use them in the change machine in the cafeteria. The sensor in the change machine saw the image of a dollar bill and was deceived, so it kept spitting out quarters, not knowing that I was fooling it.
Needless to say, I eventually got busted and had to pay back the money. As penance, the headmaster also made me read passages from the Bible. There was no beating with a paddle, however. Lucky me!
The nervous system is like that innocent dollar machine. The receptors receive the molecules, regardless of what is trailing behind the molecules. If there is a plant or chemical trail behind the molecule, it will be a somewhat artificial experience. If there is nothing but our own inner chemistry and emotions behind the molecular triggers, the experience will be more authentic and wholesome.
Even though I've been sober for several years now, I still have to be vigilant with my cleverness. Am I trying to outsmart basic necessities and stages of development? It's a good question to ask contemplatively, and to let stillness reveal the answer. In the game of spiritual practices, there are still pitfalls, like falling into the illusion of attainment ("I have arrived; I am completely enlightened; I am beyond all life experiences.")
The pitfalls are easily avoided by continually checking in with oneself on a gut and heart level, which means utilizing a childlike honesty as our mental and behavioral compass. That way, our cleverness is not bandied about recklessly or foolishly, but rather employed with skillful means, and for meaningful purposes.
And that's all I'll say about cleverness...for now...  |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2015 : 03:51:28 AM
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quote:
In the game of spiritual practices, there are still pitfalls, like falling into the illusion of attainment ("I have arrived; I am completely enlightened; I am beyond all life experiences.")
 Lucky me also this passed away...... |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2015 : 06:52:24 AM
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ak33
Canada
229 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2015 : 09:26:19 AM
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| Excellent entry, really liked it. I've often thought about the states arising from use of intoxicants vs. meditation, and how they are so similar. But using a substance to achieve that state probably hinders your ability and confidence of being able to attain it yourself. You give the power to something outside of you, so to speak. This is why I refrain from using alcohol as a social lubricant, I'd like to achieve that by myself. I'd like to know more what you think about the effects arising from repeatedly tricking your nervous system. |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2015 : 1:01:49 PM
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| Nicely written, Bodhi. Infact very close to your Uncle Walt Whitman. So much fun in this samsara. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2015 : 6:46:56 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by ak33
This is why I refrain from using alcohol as a social lubricant, I'd like to achieve that by myself.
You're a spiritual warrior, and I salute you for it.
quote:
Originally posted by ak33
I'd like to know more what you think about the effects arising from repeatedly tricking your nervous system.
I think it boils down to abrasiveness. The external ingestion of a substance results in more abrasiveness, kind of like rubbing sand paper of a coarser grit against the obstructions. The AYP methods are of a much finer grit, but even so, we have to use self-pacing, because there is still a process of purification.
For me, hangovers and other destructive consequences from drinking/drugging have far exceeded the pain threshold of practicing too much samyama, for instance. Anything can be overdone, but we are dealing with levels of vibration, and the effects vary accordingly.
On this note, that's why I extol "sacred selfishness" as being valuable, because we are acting in the interest of our personal body, as well as others. AA tends to promote "selflessness" and a kind of martyr-like, sinner mentality, which doesn't jive with me.
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Nicely written, Bodhi. In fact very close to your Uncle Walt Whitman . So much fun in this samsara.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2015 : 5:35:51 PM
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Blog #27: Making Amends
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-27-making-amends/
Making amends is one of the touchiest topics in the domain of recovery. Within the architecture of the 12 Steps, Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob suggested a framework for cleaning up the past and repairing broken relationships. I won't spend much time trying to validate or invalidate their strategy, but I will elaborate on how I run my own salvage operation. It's a little different. Let me explain.
First, I'm all in favor of paying back debts, and I've done some of that—financially, emotionally, and karmically. A clean conscience demands restoring what has been damaged, returning what has been borrowed or stolen, and nurturing what has been neglected. Something deep inside always wants to regain balance if we are off kilter.
Even so, the past is incredibly long, and karma is unfathomable. If we take into account the possibility of past lives, it is not realistic to recall every single mishap along the way. What is realistic, however, is to adopt a way of moving forward, and that first involves making amends with ourselves.
In The Secrets of Wilder, the young spiritual aspirant asks: "Why not me?" What he means is: Why not me for a life of enlightenment, ecstatic bliss, and an outpouring of divine love? It's a great question.
We have to be willing to say yes to being worthy of the transformation, if we want to make amends and move forward in a lasting way. When a butterfly emerges from its cocoon, there is no turning back. There is only fluttering and dancing about with new freedom and versatility. Does the cocoon have to be killed or surgically removed? No. It just gets shed naturally and easily as we spread our wings.
If we focus too much on the past, we will get stuck spinning our wheels with little progress being made. If we cultivate and feed a vision for our chosen ideal, we will make good use of the past, much like a plant makes use of recycled manure. Nothing is wasted, only processed and re-integrated. With enough alchemy and daily practice, even fodder can be turned to gold.
So, in my opinion, the best way to make amends is to work on enriching and developing our latent talents, rather than obsessing over supposed defects of character. If, like a bull in a china shop, I've wrecked some things in the past, I don't need to curse my horns, or even have them removed. The horns may turn out to be great assets over the long-term. Maybe the horns will be the sharp instruments needed to polish the china. I can learn to use my horns with more finesse, refinement, and self-control.
There is great freedom and reconciliation in not only moving beyond harmful patterns, but also instilling new ones of joy, compassion and creativity. Then, the people who once feared us because of our carelessness, will in due time welcome us, because we will be overflowing with divine love and stillness in action.
Make amends by moving forward! |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2015 : 11:08:58 PM
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When a sail is torn, you must make 'amend'; after that, if you can catch a tailwind, you're good to go.
I like the cut of your jib, Bodhiboy!  |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2015 : 02:34:56 AM
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quote:
There is great freedom and reconciliation in not only moving beyond harmful patterns, but also instilling new ones of joy, compassion and creativity. Then, the people who once feared us because of our carelessness, will in due time welcome us, because we will be overflowing with divine love and stillness in action.
If we can live the present moment, we will see that there is no need for crawling, we have wings to fly.
Good work Bodhi |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2015 : 10:01:05 PM
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Blog #28: Pain, Pleasure, and Transcendence
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-28-pain...anscendence/
This week the U.S. Open tennis tournament started. Tennis is one of my favorite sports, and I've thoroughly enjoyed playing and watching the game in recent years. So, in this blog, I want to use tennis as a metaphorical lens to look at the important topics of pain, pleasure, and transcendence.
First, let's define the terms.
What is pain? Pain is a kind of sensation. Pain is a sensory experience in which internal or external events are interpreted by the mind as being contrary to the well-being and desired trajectory of an individual, or group of individuals. In tennis, pain comes in different forms. For instance, one time I sprained my ankle while playing tennis, and that sensation was physically painful, but there was also emotional pain due to the mental disappointment of having to stop playing for an extended period of time.
One of the most tragic events in tennis history occurred when the champion Monica Seles was stabbed in the back while sitting on a break. That horrible act was obviously full of pain, not only for the victim, but for those that adored and supported her career. Fortunately, she was able to recover her health and even come back to win more championships. Surely, there was great pleasure in her return to the beloved game.
So, what is pleasure? Pleasure is also a kind of sensation, but one that is received with satisfaction and approval in regards to maintaining and improving our homeostatic condition. Pleasure is affiliated with happiness, enlightenment, and pure bliss consciousness, which is what we are cultivating with AYP. In tennis, there are many shades of pleasure, including the sustained endorphin buzz that arises when hitting the ball back and forth with an opponent or partner. Winning a hard-fought match can be full of elation, euphoria, and fulfillment, which are pleasurable qualities.
Finally, we have transcendence, which is a more abstract term. Transcendence comes from a Latin word meaning "to climb across, to climb beyond". When we transcend something, we have traveled across a distance and arrived at a place beyond the original limits of our journey.
Roger Federer, often considered the greatest tennis player of all time, exemplifies transcendence, on and off the court. He displays compassion and divine love to the people he comes across, and that state of being is beyond the dynamic of winning and losing. The sublime calm he exudes is evident in the fluidity of his movement, and in the way he carries himself. He transcends the boundaries of competition, even while excelling within them.
In AYP for Recovery, we are transcending the narrowness of identification as an alcoholic or addict. We are going beyond the pain inflicted from hurtful tendencies and a damaged past. First, we replace the hurtful tendencies with superior habits like Deep Meditation, then we realize and directly perceive that we are, in fact, the blissful awareness that underlies all events, even the painful ones.
Pain and pleasure are supreme teachers in this life, and transcendence is the reward of learning (and un-learning) from that interplay. Even if we never win any grand trophies, we can still achieve greatness by following the spiral of peace and joy gained from daily practices, thereby living as embodied masters in this incarnation.
Game on! |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2015 : 06:54:37 AM
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quote:
Pain and pleasure are supreme teachers in this life, and transcendence is the reward of learning (and un-learning) from that interplay. Even if we never win any grand trophies, we can still achieve greatness by following the spiral of peace and joy gained from daily practices, thereby living as embodied masters in this incarnation.
Enjoyed reading this. Thank you Bodhi.
Hence trancendence |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2015 : 08:16:44 AM
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Excellent writing, Bodhi. Hubby is a sport fanatic and I'll sit and watch few games with him. Just wanted to share a story regarding physical pain-With my second C section, I was a little too brave and confident and asked the hospital to take off the spinal IV early. When the medication starting wearing off, the pain was excruciating. While I was waiting on the nurse, the pain and bliss was going at the same time. My theory is- the bliss may be the infinite's joy of experiencing physical pain through this body. At the same time not sure how long I would have endured the pain.
With emotional, mental pain instead of labeling it as pain/ discomfort,accepting and being with it reveals peace/stillness in the end. At least most days.
Sunyata |
Edited by - sunyata on Sep 02 2015 08:18:06 AM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2015 : 5:35:36 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
Enjoyed reading this. Thank you Bodhi.
Hence transcendence
Charlie-D!
quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
Just wanted to share a story regarding physical pain-With my second C section, I was a little too brave and confident and asked the hospital to take off the spinal IV early. When the medication starting wearing off, the pain was excruciating. While I was waiting on the nurse, the pain and bliss was going at the same time. My theory is- the bliss may be the infinite's joy of experiencing physical pain through this body. At the same time not sure how long I would have endured the pain.
With emotional, mental pain instead of labeling it as pain/ discomfort,accepting and being with it reveals peace/stillness in the end. At least most days.
Wow. Very intense. An empathic sensation shot up my spine upon reading that vignette. Thank you for sharing your endurance and transcendence, sunyata. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2015 : 9:50:18 PM
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Blog #29: The Pursuit of Money
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-29-the-...it-of-money/
In Oliver Stone's classic film Wall Street, the infamous character Gordon Gekko proclaims: "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right; greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms—greed for life, for money, for love, and knowledge—has marked the upward surge of mankind."
Wow. Such a potent statement. When I watch that scene on YouTube, I get ecstatic chills up my spine. Gekko is touching upon a vein that runs very deep, and in this blog, I want to meet him head-on. So, let's talk about money, and how the pursuit of money relates to human spiritual transformation.
What is money? Money is a symbolic token that represents things we value. Money is used to exchange all kinds of goods and services across the globe, and money has now become an object that is pursued for its own sake, above many other objects of devotion.
Ironically, the symbol of money has even become more valued than the things money purports to symbolize. Just earn lots of money!—then figure out how to spend it! Clearly, we have put the cart before the horse. What is intrinsically meant to be secondary and arbitrary, is now primary and paramount.
Houston, we have a problem.
The problem is not money, per se, but rather the power we give to money. We are worshiping the proverbial golden calf in the hopes we will find lasting satisfaction and sustenance. The problem is: there's not much lasting satisfaction or sustenance to be found in symbols, as pretty or ornamental as they may be. Maybe we can get stimulated and hyped up a little bit, but the castles we build in the air will eventually crumble. Imagination can only sustain a fleeting reality for so long.
Symbols can be helpful and useful, but when blown out of proportion, they run contrary to the flow of evolution.
In AYP, we recognize the peak of evolution to be an outpouring of divine love, which results in giving without expectation of return. Certain economic trends and paradigms are not exactly reflective of the leading edge of divine love. For instance, the practice of lending with interest is clearly not in the spirit of giving without expectation of return. Lending with interest is a giving, not only with an expectation of return, but with an expectation that more will be returned than originally given. It's kind of like cancer, which is when cellular growth depletes the entire system as a result of excessive replication. Like cancer, the gimmick of interest replicates itself beyond healthy proportions.
If we want true abundance and prosperity, we have to remember what is truly valuable, and that is not too hard to find. It is within us, and all around us. It is the Spirit that animates all of life, and far exceeds the value of any price tag.
Gordon Gekko was onto something. His intensity and passion for progress are related to the bhakti within the human spirit. That bhakti is much more than material greed could ever capture. That yearning is far more intelligent, wise, and purposeful than the antics of a stock market.
In my opinion, the objects of devotion do indeed matter, and blind greed is problematic. However, when greed is devoted to a worthy ideal (like global enlightenment), we can achieve human spiritual transformation, which in turn will influence and illuminate all aspects of life, including economic paradigms.
I believe we can reconcile our current economic system with the driving force of divine love, and when we do, we will experience a new kind of wealth that is beyond imagination.
Thank you, Gordon, for stirring up the pot. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2015 : 8:21:25 PM
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Blog #30: Ecstatic Rage and Nonviolence
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-30-ecst...nonviolence/
"All emotion is the power of love." That's one of my favorite Yogani nuggets. He's spit out quite a few sparkling gems since beginning this radical operation of spreading spiritual knowledge from behind a curtain of anonymity. There's a wealth of information here, and it's time to optimize and utilize the raw material available to us.
Speaking of raw material, I would like to explore how anger, rage, and other volatile emotions are related to recovery, enlightenment. and transformation. This is a very important topic, and one that is often misunderstood in spiritual circles, especially in recovery networks like AA. Hopefully, in this blog, I can draw from my personal experience and clarify some of the finer points.
First, let me invoke another spiritual master to dive deeper into the matter.
In his "I have a dream" speech, Martin Luther King, Jr. resounds with a voice marked by intensity, passion, and steadfast devotion. There is an abundance of emotional content in his delivery, and his tone carries hints of what I like to call ecstatic rage. It is a nonviolent anger that has been properly channeled to a higher ideal. His ideal was racial equality, but there are many other ideals to consider.
In the speech, he said: "We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force." With what he called a "marvelous new militancy", Martin Luther King, Jr. helped revolutionize the social climate of an entire country, bringing the eternal values of peace and joy into our temporal dimension on Earth.
After spending a couple years in AA, I began to experience a growing discontent with certain aspects of the program, and I had to figure out what to do with my anger. Rather than try to eliminate the emotional fire and lobotomize myself, I chose to use the frustration as fuel for finding a better solution, and AYP for Recovery has been the result.
Without a little ecstatic rage, I think the solution to addiction will be lacking. Just like red is a necessary color in the rainbow spectrum, I find refined anger to be of high value in catalyzing change and improvement within myself and the broader community.
When I was living in San Francisco, I worked for two women who owned a small dog-walking company. They did a superb job of managing the animals with love and leadership. Both women had been badly abused as children (physically and sexually), and they told me that their residual anger helped them to achieve new goals. At the time, it was a radical concept to me, but now, it makes complete sense.
There is still a lot of passive spirituality on the market that can lead to repression, neurosis, passive-aggressive behavior, and a stifling of personal development. The active and heart-driven methods of AYP will ensure a full flowering of enlightenment, and steer us away from sedated and thwarted modes of evolution.
Let's refine our rage in a nonviolent, ecstatic manner, and we can live as wholesome human beings. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2015 : 8:49:24 PM
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Blog #31: The Land of Plenty
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-31-the-land-of-plenty/
Earlier I ate with a friend at a buffet in the Hard Rock Casino. She used to work there, and her former supervisor gives her "comp" meals, so she is gracious enough to periodically invite me to indulge in this residual perk she receives.
The buffet is huge. There are multiple stations, serving a variety of cuisines. A seemingly endless supply of food is showcased and replenished constantly, free for the picking. Some of the notable options include: raw oysters, steamed crawfish, shrimp, sushi, vegetable dumplings, pot stickers, seared steak, hamburgers, pizza, a full salad station, a French-style charcuterie with artisan cheeses, dozens of deserts—key lime pie, carrot cake, flan, bread pudding, many flavors of ice cream, and so on. I'm leaving a bunch of stuff out. It's bountiful and absurd.
As I write this blog, I'm still in a semi-narcotic stupor from the feast (admittedly, it's not the most exemplary meal for an aspiring yogi, but hey, I'm working on it).
I used to go to the Hard Rock Casino for a different reason, namely gambling. I would play Texas Hold 'Em, high on Xanax, booze, and cocaine. Sometimes I would walk away with winnings, but mainly I just burned through cash with repeated withdrawals from the ATM. You know, the addictive cycle.
My friend, the former casino employee, told me that some gamblers get so glued to the slot machines that they soil themselves in the middle of their gaming. They are so transfixed by the spinning numbers and images that their basic bodily functions get ignored. Apparently, the maintenance crew has a code word they use over radio communication to keep the clean-up discrete. The veneer of pristine fun must be sustained 24/7. The show must go on.
On the note of keeping up facades, it has been said the path of enlightenment is one of waking up from a dream, or seeing through a delusion. If this is true, what then is the delusion we are seeing through?
At this stage in the blog, I would normally chime in with some kind of answer or pedantic encouragement. But for this one, I will just let it go and invite readers to contemplate and discover the answer without my imposition. And by all means, let me know what you find. I still feel like a child in the dark.
"For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; but then shall I know, even as also I am known." |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2015 : 9:22:46 PM
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Hi Bodhi,
Firstly drooling from all the description of the feast you had.
When you have your first awakening, there is seeing through delusion. After integration, even delusion is real. I'll share a story again. I had my awakening when I was pregnant with my first child. There was experience of no self- I wouldn't/couldn't look in the mirror because there was no "I" plus there were all these flashy experiences. Researching what was going on-I came across advaita. After my son was born, I was in awe and love but had this fear because everything was an illusion. I wanted to go live a monastic life but couldn't because I had such a beautiful child. I had dreamt of being a mother all my life. So I wanted a practice that I could do without having to leave my family. This is what brought me to AYP. After reading and practicing AYP, I came to the realization that there is no delusion. Now when I'm with my kids and in the world the being lights up. There is only delusion when one is asleep. Even the asleep is part of the one.Also, I wanted to live a monastic life because everyone was deluded .
Functioning and run entirely by the ego. Totally identified by the ego may be labeled as delusion. Flowing with life and seeing the ego for what it is and letting it perform it's role when required and accepting the ego as part of the one/truth may be seeing through delusion.
Sunyata |
Edited by - sunyata on Sep 10 2015 10:19:08 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2015 : 5:18:54 PM
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Thank you, sunyata. I really enjoy reading your interpretation. Your perception and being are very wholesome. I like how you reconcile supposed delusion with deeper reality, showing that really there is no delusion, per se, but that all is really contained within the pure consciousness which we are.
Your child is fortunate to have a mother like you! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 14 2015 : 4:43:08 PM
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Blog #32: Confessions of an Apple Thrower
http://ayprecovery.org/blog-32-conf...ple-thrower/
One time during my college days at Florida State, I was hanging out with a couple friends at their apartment, and like so many other students in the nearby vicinity, we were drinking heavily. As the fermented beverage penetrated my blood-brain barrier, some mischievous energy began to stir. I was yearning for an outlet.
There was a bowl of fruit in the kitchen, and while we were talking, I picked up an apple and playfully tossed it up and down in the air. Having been a baseball pitcher during my youth, I seem to notice the inherent versatility in various inanimate objects (and animate ones too). Anyway, I wasn't drunk enough to be sluggish yet, so I still had a compulsion brewing within me to engage in some stimulating activity.
I looked to the living room, and there was another friend passed out on the couch, about 25 feet away. His glaring forehead suddenly appeared to me like a prime target at which I could launch the apple at high speed. I paused, went into missile-seeking mode, and whispered to my buddy in the kitchen: "Watch this." I cocked back my arm and let the torque of my hips and shoulders generate velocity, followed by a pivot in the the elbow, then a flick of the wrist, and voilà—release!—the apple spun off my fingertips and went hurling through the air, rapidly closing the distance between the launching point and inevitable destination.
It's funny how life can become slow-motion at times. When that apple was spinning through empty space, I was perceiving its movement as if peering through a slow-motion camera lens: so crisp and clear and amazingly acute. Athletes call this kind of perception being in the zone. There's no feeling quite like it. Once you get a taste of it, you will forever chase that inner condition and state of being.
So, the apple went rocketing towards my unconscious friend, and boom!—it made perfect impact on the bull's-eye of his forehead. The ripe fruit exploded into little pieces and splattered in all directions. His head absorbed the blow easily with the cushioned support of the couch behind him. He didn't even flinch or bat an eye. He remained totally asleep and clueless to the covert assault that had been unleashed upon him.
I started laughing maniacally and pumping my fists in a celebratory manner. My friend in the kitchen, who is typically very stoic and unemotional, stared at me with a dropped jaw and said: "Bro, that was messed up." I quickly retorted: "Oh, don't worry, he's alright! I'll clean it up." Of course, I cleaned up all the fruit particles and inspected my buddy's skull. There was only a very minor bruise at the point of detonation, but nothing majorly concussive or injurious.
Now, this was obviously a shameful act of comedy, like something you might see on Jackass. When I reflect on the event soberly, it's not something I would likely repeat (the operative word being likely). Even so, I can still discern and distill the bhakti contained therein. At the heart of my mischief was a desire for ecstasy, and that is remarkably pure. Admittedly, there are much more congenial and friendly ways to satisfy that yearning, which I continue to learn through the process of refinement.
Of course, there are certainly events in my drinking career that were no laughing matter. Where there is comedy, there is often tragedy. Sometimes I can laugh at the follies; other times I wince and cry. It's a full-spectrum show. Such is the nature of being human. How could it happen any other way?
In closing, let me say: Forgive me, dear friend, for pulverizing you with an apple. If it's any consolation, your martyrdom brought me great joy in that moment. I'm sure that the law of karma will perfectly reconcile the bond between us, and one day I will be serving you an abundance of fruit on a golden platter, if you so desire. |
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