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emc
2072 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 19 2006 : 5:36:37 PM
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I have noticed during my journey that poems I wrote when I was 18-19 are amazingly true. It is awesome to read them now, with the knowledge I have now! This is one poem I found in a box this evening:
The window glass
A window glass
right in between outside and inside
the absolute but invisible border between warm and cold
I want to be like a window glass
I want to exist as a stable point in the existence
yet be intangible
I want to see the birds of passage outside against the blue sky
I want to see the patterned wallpaper and the pelargonium on the windowsill
I want to be a frame around two paintings
I want to be strong and hard and glossy like a mirror
but also open, clear, free from the coercion to choose sides
I want to be a partition between strength and weakness
I want to feel the darkness outside stroking close by
but know that the light is caressing me within
I want to be a mix of the clear and obscure
They may polish me or splash me with paint
they may move me, hurt me
yes, perhaps even break me into pieces
but they would only touch my outside
they will never reach my transparent, clean interior
They may watch me, but never see
anything else but their own mirror images
They know I am there
but will never discover me
I want to be the point of intersection
between illusion and reality
I want to be the mediator between the storm and the stillness
I want to be like a window glass
(written 1988) |
Edited by - emc on Sep 19 2006 5:50:25 PM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2007 : 4:12:21 PM
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I am human and monster
the two divided equally
on all my I's
formed and shaped
from the same void
And the monster is eating me slowly
as 4,2 minutes
eats a glowing cigarett
I am human and monster
and the monster is a parasite
eating half of my I's
because the void
formed and shaped the two
to a forever living symbiosis
of which one is being
fairly dependent
on the other.
And the newspapers advise me
to accept myself as I am...
(written 1989)
----
Nameless colours
I am rocked
in warmth
rocked
by you
totally still
near
when you
rock me
breath
on my cheek
I am rocked
in space
air on
my skin
numbing
moments
You rock
me closely
and I let
myself be rocked
in colours
without names
In a golden
cradle I will
swing with you
wrapped
in colours
without names
(Written 1989, I was reminded of it during the first time I had a strong tantra experience. I just knew it was that moment I had written about in this poem. I was in stillness, bathing in golden carbon acid kind of light, in bliss, with the poem coming to my mind.)
- - -
If everything beautiful that exists here on earth
was gathered in one big lump
and was sent by mail to me
I would keep it for a moment
only for myself,
but then I would send it back
to where it came from
and left would only be
a memory
- the most beautiful on earth -
and I would never tell anyone
about what I had seen
but the words that later comes
from my mouth
shall be my witnesses
and confirm that I once owned
everything beautiful on earth
and the words shall be so tainted
of all the beautiful
that no one who hears them
should be able to avoid to become
just as beautiful
as everything else here on earth
(1989)
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2007 : 3:56:44 PM
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Beautiful,emc 
Nothing "sub" about this consciousness. Super  |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2007 : 3:20:19 PM
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I also painted when I was at that age... This painting is from 1993... Gosh, I was so open then, I just didn't have a clue of what it was all about. I was in great pain most of the time, tried to commit suicide twice during those teenage years... Very difficult to understand that was happening to the same identity that is now awakening and dissolving. Seems so far away...
The lyrics coming out from the mouth is a poem by a Swedish poet, Bruno K Öijer
that inspired me to paint (own translation):
When they magnified your eye
firstly seen was only the
empty flat room
gradually they could clearly see
the covered tightly tensed cage
where microscopic bird meat
navigated by the starlight
http://www.badongo.com/pic/1496202
PS: Notice that the cage is actually open on the back side... 
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Edited by - emc on Sep 06 2007 3:32:34 PM |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2007 : 06:22:42 AM
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Your painting is very touching emc. It seems so open, raw and honest.
I see the open cage and the white bird flying off, it seems you are aware of your spiritual connection in this, amidst the pain.
The torquise of the face is a favourite colour of mine (the colour of the thymus I think)
(of course that's just my take on it)
You have enriched my day, thank you.
Louis
PS. have you any more you want to share? |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2007 : 06:41:58 AM
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Thank you, Louis!
"it seems you are aware of your spiritual connection in this, amidst the pain."
I honestly didn't have a clue at that time of anything spiritual. I hadn't read anything about it. I probably saw it as something psychological at that time, being trapped in the mind.
I don't have anything more at the moment, but I'm cleaning my home, Feng Shui, so it pops up things now and then... |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2008 : 5:14:52 PM
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Had another round of Feng Shui and found some other scribble...
A star is born tonight. From a dark and empty nothing, a clear and shimmering beam of light emerges. It's a beginning of something big. A weak trace to what is to become. From a poor and tiny neuter grows that which is the power to act. Fragile and brittle is yet the little one, only to not show off with its grandeur. Soon the world will see, soon it will behold that which noone else has seen. A star to be is in no hurry. In time it will lay the world under its feet. Tonight it announces its arrival. Tonight a star is born in the sky of world history.
__________________________________________________
sometimes it's like
NOTHING
can make you give way
for the challenge
NOTHING
disturbs ones existence
all too much,
not even somewhat
NOTHING
is put up against
the choice:
ALL
and suddenly
life becomes
so easy to live
it's either
not neither. or.
ALL
or
NOTHING
that's how it is
and
that's how it has always been
and
that is how it will remain
____________________________________________
Can you feel it?
Can you feel the heat?
How wondrously hot it became...
Do you see?
Do you see the adventure running over there?
Will you catch it for me?
Will you catch it and give it to me?
No, don't say anything.
It's here and now.
There you are and here I am
and there's nothing to do about it.
We must choose.
Yes, it's us now.
Just us.
Do you feel the taste of excitement?
Do you feel it tastes thyme?
Can you hear me whisper in your ear?
Can you hear me calling?
I urge.
No, don't look at me.
Touch my arm.
Touch yours close to mine.
Do you know what the woman said to the man
when she hid the apple behind her back?
- I caught the adventure,
will you eat it with me?
This last poem brings me to tears. It's a clear call from the love inside, trying to reach me. This was written in 1990 I think... Amazing journey...
PS Oh, my... I can't stop crying... I'm so filled with soft pink sweetness, this pure inner lover carressing me, squeezing every bit of hardness out of me... I melt... It's the most wonderful love poem I've ever received... The softness is almost too much... Do you sense the softness in it? |
Edited by - emc on Mar 16 2008 5:54:06 PM |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2009 : 1:39:09 PM
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Feng Shui is great! Now, I found a few excerpts from my diary from that time. In no particular order or with any connection to eachother - lines of thoughts coming out from this young woman once upon a time... I'm still astonished when I find my own old scribbles.
I want to know who I am. I want to!
I am not "me" now. I don't know anything. Everything is lucid. Nobody - nothing is real. Everything happens as if in a dream. Living in the Now.
Life is an illusion!
I have stopped thinking! I'm just following along...
But I am trying to live in the Big, the Real, the One.
Who is it, really, that is looking back at you there in the mirror? Do you know her?
It's the other's opinion of me that holds me together. Through their way of approaching me I find out who I am. A name - does it tell me who I am? No.
It's so easy to say "I don't know". I should say that a little more often.
Emc always calculates everything in advance. The fantasy creates everything and the Now is therefore impossible to discover. It gnaws on and destroys Reality.
I fill my whole body and soul with my Self, and expand... I expand...
I'm still searching for a role that fits me. To be myself is too difficult.
Life is a joke.
Life is a spiral upside down.
You simply have to fight for the good and for truth, or else life is pointless.
I'm on the frontier to a break through towards the unknown.
I'm so alien to my person. A human being of the Now.
I came from nowhere and I'm on my way to nowhere...
I don't know who it is that is doing what I'm doing.
Life as it seems is simply unreal.
I don't want to have a name. All names are fake. I just AM, without a name. Only that way can I know myself.
A human being just as well without a name. She is behind the name.
I stand still in time. Time is passing me by...
I lended out my diary to eternity. Then does it matter which day it is today?
When do you mature? Through experience!
- Experience! is my only request to myself!
I'll be darned - is it really so difficult to grasp: I AM!
I don't know which way I'm flowing. I don't know. I'm only interested in my Self. Have always been and will always be. Amen.
I allow myself everything!
I - one of life's greatest mysteries!
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Edited by - emc on Jan 11 2009 1:51:28 PM |
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Raymonde
USA
1 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2009 : 10:30:33 AM
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| Transmission from Ray to EMC(squared), have I cracked the code? raymondegreen@gmail.com |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2009 : 1:12:02 PM
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Hi Raymond, indeed you have! Congratulations, you've won a coffee perculator! LOL!   |
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Poems from the subconscious
