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Shakti Love
USA
6 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 14 2015 : 2:38:35 PM
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New member, first post. Glad to find this site. Found it by searching for info on the effects of anal stimulation on the tantric process. Turned up a good thread that inspired me to explore and join the site. I tend to work in total isolation and do not share my process with many and if I do only on a fragmentary basis. So posting in a public forum is a bit of a step out for me. I just feel that my process is generally just between me and Shakti. And process is highly individualized and I don't think a lot of what I do is necessarily applicable or useful to others.
A big part of my practice involves what is commonly called feminization or even sissyfication. This includes ritualized use of dildos, ritualized depilation, feminine dressing, feminine sexual thoughts and feelings, feminine sensual erotic self touching. Generally there is a sense of a process of becoming or being a girl or a woman. This is done in a ritualized context with meditative practices and pranayama and it is done in a psychological, psychic and spiritual relationship with Goddess Shakti. The relationship involves Role Reversal in which the jiva plays the female, submissive, receptive role and the Goddess Shakti penetrates, takes, dominates and infuses the jiva. This is done as Divine Love with the jiva giving love and giving into love by surrendering ego, identification, role and bodily function and form to the Goddess as the Goddess gives Love through the presentation and availability of her essence which is Divine Love. Generally this stimulates sexual and energetic arousal. I have been very successful at following this process to near orgasm and successful at orgasmic energy and semen retention. Following near orgasm I go into meditation and direct the aroused energy thorugh my spine and chakras, using bandhas and pranayama and visualization. High levels of pranic saturation have been achieved. I have had two prior Kundalini risings, the first of which was very difficult and challenging, the second of which was partial and sporadic. In this case it seems that She is releasing herself very gradually, only giving forth as much of herself as I can process at any given time. I attribute the grace of this moderated release to my submission to Her will and my pledge of Love and Honor to Her.
So far there has been no involvement of a jiva Goddess incarnation, though I am open to that if the right Goddess should manifest.
Dark Energies of dominance, abuse, hatred, loathing and such are sometimes accessed and used to transmute them into essential fire. Sometimes tools like sissyfication, strapon and feminization videos are used for that purpose. But mostly the process involves a broad, encompassing energy of surrender, submission and LOVE for Shakti based deeply in the Anahata chakra.
I find that images and videos of Female Bodybuilders and Futanari/Dickgirls call forth analogue, complementary energies that parallel my developing male femininity. The same sometimes applies to TV/TS/TG. My theory is that the rising surge of such manifestations involving mixed sexual identity and multi polar sexuality are a result of the Shakti energy attempting to rise back through to Shiva on a global scale. Unfortunately, since 99.5% of jivas are Pashu and not Vira or Divya, in most people this ends up manifesting as different forms of sexual addiction and over identification/obsession with gender and gender roles and gender identity.
I do NOT see or experience the end game of this process as becoming a "woman" or a "man" or any sort of TV/TS/TG or any of the other myriad labels that we apparently need to assign to ourselves in today's culture. Rather, this process renders all gender and sexual identity moot and irrelevant, leaving behind and revealing the transcendent union of Shiva/Shakti and ultimately Parashati. I find it a useful construct to think of myself as becoming a cosmic Futanari. In terms of today's gender identity classifications that might translate into Bigender/Trigender/Pangender. But all of that will fall away at some point and is only useful as a tool to build the Vajra body. Since the pranamaya kosha is largely resonating with this gender transcendent vibe and the other koshas are not far behind, it seems to be highly unifying and catalyzing to cause the Annamaya kosha (body) to appear and act in a corresponding manner.
Anyway, this is really working for me. So I guess the point of the post, beyond wanting to "share" and maybe help someone else out that is managing similar energies, is I am curious to know if any of this reflects a process that others are developing? Or am I all alone out on the fringes here? Not that it matters at all one way or another because as a virya my path is my path and I will walk it. But it would be interesting to know if this is a path that is manifesting more broadly among tantrics.
Thanks for reading! Hope this has been in some way useful to you. |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2015 : 7:31:52 PM
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Thankyou for sharing  |
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PastMorning
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2015 : 8:28:15 PM
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My path in regards to tantra has been solo (although I sincerely hope to incorporate a partner at some point). I haven't gone as far as using some of the acts such as feminine dressing, but I have noticed myself becoming increasingly more feminized on a regular basis with the help of semen retention, edging, and a practice for multi-orgasmic cultivation called the key sound. (I also do pranayama, meditation, and samyama. Obviously.)
I don't externalize my feminization as much as I could. I don't resonate with those acts. This isn't a big deal since I have always been quite gender neutral on some level as a male. I don't have a masculine inclination to oppose and women have always played a more active role in my development than men, even with my inexperience sexually. I have a growing primal connection with myself as a male, but I'm able to work with it to prevent it from causing the type of problems that I often find men falling victim to (aggression/regression both physically and emotionally to the point of explosion/implosion). Yet, I have had my own battles in that regard, which have been eased by these practices.
That being said, I see that there is a similarity in your path as mine as there is clear, deep submission to the feminine on a self-initiated and regular basis. |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2015 : 07:26:40 AM
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quote:
Anyway, this is really working for me. So I guess the point of the post, beyond wanting to "share" and maybe help someone else out that is managing similar energies, is I am curious to know if any of this reflects a process that others are developing? Or am I all alone out on the fringes here? Not that it matters at all one way or another because as a virya my path is my path and I will walk it. But it would be interesting to know if this is a path that is manifesting more broadly among tantrics.
Hello Shakti Love, welcome.
My guess is this falls into "the fringes" as a spiritual path, but if this is getting you closer to the Divine, than you'll get no judgement from me. Our direction to Homecoming is a sum of all of our karmas and experiences in life's past and present. As we progress, there is a sense (for me) that we become more gender neutral, much as we were early en utero. My only advice is against forming attachment to this role playing process as it might become an anchor. Ultimately you may discover you are that already, and your 'procedure' will no longer needed.
Thank you for sharing, and I hope you hear from other like-minded yogis so you won't feel in the fringes  . |
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Shakti Love
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2015 : 9:47:51 PM
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Thanks for your reply. It prompted me that I actually forgot to tell about an important component of my practice. I'm actually actively cultivating both feminine and masculine energies simultaneously, side by side. In addition to the above set of practices, I am somewhat of an athlete and I play competitive sports and do rigorous athlete training regimes. In the course of a few hours I can swing from a yin feminine charged tantric experience to a yang masculine warrior engagement. The idea is to super charge both the yin Shakti pole and the yang Shiva pole simultaneously, creating a powerful pranic battery. It does seem to be working since I am experiencing tangible siddhis.
In the past I would spend several years of my life cultivating yang and then swing wildly to the yin side and back and forth. I think before I know I was a yogi and a tantric I did this instinctively and not consciously. Later as I became aware of process I would intelligently decide when it was time to swap polarity. But this is the first time I am actively cultivating and charging both poles at the same time.
Just a note of caution with regards to views of masculinity. It is important to understand that all objects cast a shadow. Both masculinity/yang and femininity/yin are objects in Mayashakti and both cast shadows. It helps me to think of function vs. dysfunction. All objects have proper function or they would not exist. Nothing exists without function. All objects can also display dysfunction or improper function. As a jiva in a male body it is ESSENTIAL to discover proper male/yang function. This does NOT come from negation, denial or blanket deprecation of masculinity...these are actually shadows and significant obstacles. I do NOT resonate with the anti-male vibe often found in yoga circles. Male=BAD, Female=Good. Simplistic pablum that serves to edify female ego under the guise of "spirtuality"...a HUGE shadow and a massive dysfunction.
Well that's probably an entirely new post.
quote:
Originally posted by PastMorning
My path in regards to tantra has been solo (although I sincerely hope to incorporate a partner at some point). I haven't gone as far as using some of the acts such as feminine dressing, but I have noticed myself becoming increasingly more feminized on a regular basis with the help of semen retention, edging, and a practice for multi-orgasmic cultivation called the key sound. (I also do pranayama, meditation, and samyama. Obviously.)
I don't externalize my feminization as much as I could. I don't resonate with those acts. This isn't a big deal since I have always been quite gender neutral on some level as a male. I don't have a masculine inclination to oppose and women have always played a more active role in my development than men, even with my inexperience sexually. I have a growing primal connection with myself as a male, but I'm able to work with it to prevent it from causing the type of problems that I often find men falling victim to (aggression/regression both physically and emotionally to the point of explosion/implosion). Yet, I have had my own battles in that regard, which have been eased by these practices.
That being said, I see that there is a similarity in your path as mine as there is clear, deep submission to the feminine on a self-initiated and regular basis.
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Shakti Love
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2015 : 9:59:33 PM
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Thanks for the reply. Yeah I always counsel the ability to let go of a practice or a tool. A key litmus is whether a tool is being used consciously or whether it is a habitual compulsion. This is of course the danger of walking the red tantric path. But I'm really very conscious of that and I'm very good about dropping stuff that does not serve my path any more. The danger is there, however, and thanks for the reminder to stay aware. No doubt I do enjoy my practice. But the practice itself is to consciously engage and embrace energies that otherwise had the potential to be habitual and unconscious and so free them into elemental sources that can be used in my process. I'm actually moving quite rapidly through this stuff and it all could be set aside for the next stage before I have even been able to indulge myself in all the possibilities!
quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy
Hello Shakti Love, welcome.
My guess is this falls into "the fringes" as a spiritual path, but if this is getting you closer to the Divine, than you'll get no judgement from me. Our direction to Homecoming is a sum of all of our karmas and experiences in life's past and present. As we progress, there is a sense (for me) that we become more gender neutral, much as we were early en utero. My only advice is against forming attachment to this role playing process as it might become an anchor. Ultimately you may discover you are that already, and your 'procedure' will no longer needed.
Thank you for sharing, and I hope you hear from other like-minded yogis so you won't feel in the fringes .
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2015 : 12:28:30 AM
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You are surely self-aware, I'll give you that!
On my right lat I have a tattoo of a yin yang in fiery corona, my 'passionate balance', my 'balanced passion'. It is a reminder to be mindful and radiant, like you in that manner  !
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2015 : 11:02:28 AM
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| The opportunities for exploration are endless, I suppose for me simplicity is key and my practice at the moment reflects this after reading your post shakti I have understood a little more of myself thankyou. |
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PastMorning
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2015 : 11:50:57 PM
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quote:
Just a note of caution with regards to views of masculinity. It is important to understand that all objects cast a shadow. Both masculinity/yang and femininity/yin are objects in Mayashakti and both cast shadows. It helps me to think of function vs. dysfunction. All objects have proper function or they would not exist. Nothing exists without function. All objects can also display dysfunction or improper function. As a jiva in a male body it is ESSENTIAL to discover proper male/yang function. This does NOT come from negation, denial or blanket deprecation of masculinity...these are actually shadows and significant obstacles. I do NOT resonate with the anti-male vibe often found in yoga circles. Male=BAD, Female=Good. Simplistic pablum that serves to edify female ego under the guise of "spirtuality"...a HUGE shadow and a massive dysfunction.
Oh brother, a new post may indeed be necessary
Your point is precisely something I've come into more agreement with too. It's very dynamic in that every individual essentially has both ends of the spectrum, but to varying degrees unique to them. Part of our individual journeys is finding the right balance between the masculine/feminine within ourselves.
I am also turned off by the hate the male side gets and it's very much like the common obsession with demonizing the lower chakras. |
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selfonlypath
France
297 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2015 : 01:25:42 AM
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Hi Shakti Love,
The thing at the end comes to re-awaken consciously both Yin and Yang - Feminine and Masculine in us then fuse or dissolve into non-duality.
So yes for a man rituals involving special focus to re-connect the feminine are of very interest to then launch the inner dissolution process.
Now which rituals are safer or more efficient because such direct paths or practices will in no time bring dark energies one needs to go beyond. Myself was more interested by these two which do not require techniques as you're practicing
BDSM: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=3699
Anal tantra: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=7263
With BDSM (only Bondage part), you stay male and surrender to the inner awakening.
With anal tantra, you also stay male but focus as receiving female.
Of course other smoother practice will bring at the end same experience normally with safer level to not generate more karma than the karma it attempted to dissolve.
Albert |
Edited by - selfonlypath on Feb 22 2015 06:16:45 AM |
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Shakti Love
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2015 : 9:14:25 PM
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OK here is an update to my original post.
I feel that I am moving through this material at a rapid pace. I am embracing the embodiment of femininity with zeal and having interesting, wonderful and highly energetic experiences with little or really no ill effects. All in all it seems quite positive for my self on the level of various koshas. I don't have cause to regret my decision to pursue this angle. It has cost me in terms of productivity in other areas of my jiva life, but I knew that would be the case. My spiritual life is my real life and my priority. And success is within reach and progress is clear. So a "go for it" attitude prevails.
I have been pursuing and developing this practice of feminization, allowing it to generate high levels of sexual excitement that often result in full body eroticism that is typically reserved for females. I have been highly successful at coming to the point of orgasm without ejaculation or with minimal "leakage" (side note: in my opinion it is far more important to contain and transmute the energy of eroticism and orgasm than it is it retain fluids.) When a high state of erotic energy has been produced I go into sitting (or sometimes prone) meditiation, using pranayama, mantra, bhakti, mudra and dhyana and visualization, consciously moving the energy to the central channel and up from the lower chakras.
In tandem with embracing and embodying femininity I continue to pursue a variety of very masculine activities, often switching from one to another in a very short time frame. The results have been quite tangible. By consciously charging both polarities I have the sense of being a pranic power cell. While previously I had already been rather pranically charged and enjoyed the perceptible vayus, there has been a very noticeable development in the quantity and quality of the prana vayu and a growing sense of ida and pingala merging. I have had two prior Kundalini risings and I feel that she has risen again but in a very moderated, very matriculated manner. Where previously she was like a raging inferno riding the back of a monstrous three headed bull, she is now more like the steady heat of the sun gradually dissolving the permafrost over the course of a season. There's no hurry and no violence. I attribute this to my active embrace, negating resistance with loving zeal and bhakti.
Now here's where I go out on a limb sharing things that maybe I should not. The yogi should not brag about Siddhis or become infatuated with them. But I think the anonymity of this forum protects me from any karma that could come from pride or arrogance. Also I think the spirit I am bringing to this is one of simply reporting results and perhaps helping others with useful information. And perhaps receiving useful insights from others as well.
I experienced the miracle of having my eyesight healed. I had difficulty seeing at a distance and now my vision is 20/20 or better. Sometimes I have the sense that I can see details at great distance. I also have had difficulty reading...very bad in fact. On a number of occasions my near field vision has either remarkably improved or been completely restored. I was shopping and suddenly I could read the small print on the back of a vitamin bottle that would have been utterly imperceptible to me before. Wow. Unfortunately this effect has not been permanent because it comes and goes. (This is one I would like to have become permanent because not being able to see/read close up is a real pain in the ass! LOL!)
If you think the miracle of healed eyesight is too wild to believe, then wait till you read this.
In addition, early on in this process I suddenly decided that I should fast. I started with the intention of going 3 days and went 5 days with no ill effects. I had the sense that I could have continued to go on with the fast but decided to start eating again. When I did start eating I did so in great moderation with portion sizes 1/2 or 1/3 of what I would normally eat. I know this sounds crazy, but I have the sense that I really don't need to eat food anymore. I have not had a full meal of any kind (other than one indulgence that I had as a sensual pleasure) in about a month. I have small bits and pieces of food here and there, juices and shakes, some small handfuls of nuts and berries once in a while. But frankly I don't feel that I actually need to eat food at all. It seems I am living on prana directly, for the most part. My mental acuity or physical performance have not been negatively impacted at all...in fact quite the opposite! I am sharp and physically capable and fluid more than before. I can engage is vigorous physical pursuits on an empty stomach which would not have been possible previously. As far as not eating at all I may beta test that theory for a week soon and see how it goes.
And oh yeah by the way I now look about 10 years younger. People are commenting.
I know, I know. You probably think dear Shakti has lost it.
I don't know if other yogis work in this way, but what I have done is segmented the chakra system into three chambers. The lower chamber is from muladhara to the solar plexus (minor chakra sometimes call hridayam). The middle chamber is from anahata to vishudda. The upper chamber is from ajna to sahasrara. My sense is that each of these chambers have their own internal dynamics and vayus. My practice has been to get the chakras inside of each chamber talking to each other and then try to bridge the gaps between the chambers. I believe that is what they call dissolving the granthis.
I have the sense that I have transmuted the energies of the lower chakras and created a great fire that has been elevated into the middle chamber. There's a great sense of opening of anahata and vishudda that results from and manifests as bhakti in song and chant and feeling, especially of a profound LOVE for Shakti, that also carries forward to all and everything around me.
The very exciting thing is that I recently finally felt that I was able to move energy from the middle chamber into the upper chamber with great sensations of clear light energy in ajna and sahasrara. This had been something I could rarely touch before. I have had a couple of brief experiences of abiding in the anandamaya kosha bliss body. Very nice! My current sense of my path is that if I can do the things that get me into the bliss body and can extend my contact with that abiding that eventually ida and pingala will fully collapse into sushumna and kundalini will fully arise connecting and then dissolving the chakras and opening the lotus above sahasrara.
I could say that this is all rather exciting, and I guess that it is, but I don't really think I experience the feeling that we call "excitement". I feel more like a scientist who has been methodically testing a theory through experimentation. There is gratification that the theory is being proven, but also a reserved sense that unanticipated results or obstacles may emerge. I have some sense that eureka may not be far off, but also know that this is a process with so many variables and so many levels it's probably impossible to foresee how it will develop. I just know that so far the results have been quite encouraging and hopeful. I don't see any reason to not continue along this path. I feel some of the early feminization practices already starting to lose their power and I may begin to drop some of them and move on to new methods. Though I don't have any real sense of what those might be. If this were the days of old I would probably be very close to kissing the world goodbye and finding myself a cave to sit in solitude.
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2015 : 08:09:00 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shakti Love
....developing this practice of feminization, allowing it to generate high levels of sexual excitement that often result in full body eroticism that is typically reserved for females. I have been highly successful at coming to the point of orgasm without ejaculation...
I could say that this is all rather exciting, and I guess that it is, but I don't really think I experience the feeling that we call "excitement". I feel more like a scientist who has been methodically testing a theory through experimentation. There is gratification that the theory is being proven, but also a reserved sense that unanticipated results or obstacles may emerge. I have some sense that eureka may not be far off, but also know that this is a process with so many variables and so many levels it's probably impossible to foresee how it will develop. I just know that so far the results have been quite encouraging and hopeful. I don't see any reason to not continue along this path. I feel some of the early feminization practices already starting to lose their power and I may begin to drop some of them and move on to new methods. Though I don't have any real sense of what those might be. If this were the days of old I would probably be very close to kissing the world goodbye and finding myself a cave to sit in solitude.
Hi Shakti Love,
Yesterday afternoon, on a different but related forum, a friend said to me, and I quote: "You sound pretty excited about this." The word excited caught my attention. Although it is a common word, I looked it up on in several online dictionaries until I found a definition set with the two senses of the word that were playing off one another in my experience of the word:
excited adj
1. emotionally aroused, esp to pleasure or agitation
3. sexually aroused
In my experience, I was excited, but more in the sense of 3 than 1. And the 3 excitement was so much turned inward and upward that it was more like fullness of life rather than the emotional neediness (1) we usually associate with 3.
Naturally, it caught my attention this morning when I found your post with the use of the word "excited" in both the senses in which I was experiencing it (thus my highlights added to the quotation above). Like you I'm inclined to "kiss the world goodbye" and head for the cave.
What more can I say? I don't know. I'll say, enough said for now.
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ronko79
United Kingdom
1 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2019 : 06:53:48 AM
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| Is shakti love still active on here ? |
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Feminization, Role Reversal and Tantra
