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sambo
Australia
35 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 29 2014 : 06:06:21 AM
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Hello everybody (:
i have been an ayp practitioner for the last 4.5 years and had a pretty smooth run so far with a steady increase of inner silence and a gradual increase of prana that moves through my nervous system. Stoked !!
I have found that i am quite tolerable with practices and have enjoyed pushing myself when i can and of course self pacing when i found irritably to uncomfortable.
But...
For the first time i am in the midst of an over load which is quite different from all previous ones and very much more intense and overwhelming at times, and it all seems to be centred in my heart.
It is bringing a lot of dark, and heavy feelings into the heart region, my mind will interpret them as loneliness, sadness, depression, a deep longing for intimacy of some sort ect.
I feel as if the heart is maybe being purified or blocked? like it must cleanse itself if it is to open up a bit? For i have had quite a "dry" heart the last 7 years or so, and been practicing heart breathing the last few months to try and moisten the bastard up! (:
My question is if anyone has had similar experience with the heart. Experiencing these dark feeling before an opening of some sort. or any recommendations to help it open, I have become very drawn to kirtan chanting the last couple of days almost in a desperate way as it seems to lift the heart out of this dark place and into some light!!!
Regards
Sam
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Edited by - AYPforum on Aug 29 2014 06:49:49 AM |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2014 : 06:49:49 AM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2014 : 5:20:31 PM
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Hi Sambo,
I have gone through phases like this a couple of times and what helped for me was to cut back on practices for a while, spend some time doing stuff that I found fulfilling (other than spiritual practices) and most importantly go for an acupuncture treatment.
I have been blessed to be able to work with two of the best acupuncturists in Canada (they both travel a lot to teach advanced seminars and one of them hooked me up with the other when I moved) and they have been nothing but invaluable to me on the path. Whenever I was overloading/unbalanced I could always count on them to help sort me out faster than if I just waited for it to play itself out on it's own. So, my suggestion would be to try and find a really good acupuncturist. Personally I would look for one who also does laser acupuncture as, in my experience, ones that can also work with lasers are more aware of the chakra system and kundalini awakenings as the laser machine has all the chakra frequencies (and much more) already pre-programmed into them.
Love,
Carson  |
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sambo
Australia
35 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2014 : 12:42:16 AM
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Hey CarsonZi
Thanks for your response, I will give acupuncture a go for sure, and let you know how it goes,
I have also cut back 100% of practices for now and trying to just chill out.
Funny that you mention doing something fulfilling, as that is kind of what this energy has me longing for so desperately , a deeper level of intimacy or to "fill" some aspect of this experience as the sense of separateness and incompleteness seems to be magnified 100 fold.
Ahhhhhh i now better understand the writings of people that are so intensely longing or even writhing for union with the lord. As i can imagine this only becoming more intense 
-d e e p b r e a t h -
take it as it comes.
Regards
sam
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2014 : 09:08:02 AM
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Hi Sambo,
quote:
Originally posted by sambo
Funny that you mention doing something fulfilling, as that is kind of what this energy has me longing for so desperately , a deeper level of intimacy or to "fill" some aspect of this experience as the sense of separateness and incompleteness seems to be magnified 100 fold.
Yeah, I could feel the emotion in between the words of your post and was pretty certain I could relate.
What I have learned from the few times I have had heart openings preceded by periods of heavy emotional stuff is that the opening is usually a result of accepting and embracing the emotions and the feelings of separateness.
While union may be the goal of Yoga, it is found (in my experience) in part by learning to accept our "aloneness" in this human experience and by not trying to fill "the void" with other stuff (including spiritual practices). Learning to be okay with being sad, lonely and filled with longing is a big part of waking up.
quote:
Originally posted by sambo
Ahhhhhh i now better understand the writings of people that are so intensely longing or even writhing for union with the lord. As i can imagine this only becoming more intense
 This conversation made me think of this Louis CK video... I hope you enjoy it. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbYScltf1c
Carson
P.S. It may seem like I have recommended that you try to both fill "the void" with something fulfilling and learn to be okay with feeling the void as it is... and I guess in some ways I have. But just to clarify, finding something that you find fulfilling is going to help make it easier to learn to be okay with the feelings of emptiness. It can "soften the blow" so-to-speak. For me, my family became what I used to anchor myself in the times when I felt I was going to die from the feelings of emptiness and longing. Spending time with my kids and my wife and being entirely present with them helped me to get through the sensations/emotions of my heart was being ripped open. |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Aug 30 2014 09:35:31 AM |
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sambo
Australia
35 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2014 : 06:25:28 AM
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Hey CarsonZi
quote:
What I have learned from the few times I have had heart openings preceded by periods of heavy emotional stuff is that the opening is usually a result of accepting and embracing the emotions and the feelings of separateness.
Yes i totally agree with accepting what ever feelings are arising like being lonely and separate. Typically i would try and observe/accept pretty much everything and with the rise of the witness over the last few years i thought i was getting pretty good at that! lol bit of a shock when this hit town. No more ethereal peaceful witness just raw intense human emotion.
I suppose even accepting that you can't witness these feelings from your inner stillness like most times but surrendering to your humanness can bring about an openness. i have actually felt a lot more "human" the last few weeks than in a long time and its kind of opened my heart in a way that i can sympathise with people a lot more.
quote:
While union may be the goal of Yoga, it is found (in my experience) in part by learning to accept our "aloneness" in this human experience and by not trying to fill "the void" with other stuff (including spiritual practices). Learning to be okay with being sad, lonely and filled with longing is a big part of waking up.
Yes thank you for this reminder. What i am getting from this is that its ok to be "human" haha i am always trying to plunge beyond that when these human feelings come up i don't want a bar of them. I will ask myself who is lonely? and yes maybe good self inquiry although i think i ask this as i don't want to accept the feeling.
quote:
his conversation made me think of this Louis CK video... I hope you enjoy it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbYScltf1c
Carson
haha funny guy so true about smart phones these days.
Thanks a lot for your suggestion bro hopefully get some acupuncture next couple days
Peace
Sam |
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Overloading the heart
