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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 06 2014 : 01:08:16 AM
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The memories that trail behind me, wrapped up in a bundle of sensations, all perfectly teetering on the inescapability of the present moment, exist. The future imaginings of so many possibilities, teetering on the same moment, exist too. And the moment itself, hard as I try to capture it, cannot be confined to either the summation of the past or future. Reaching out to encompass both, it contracts again to be smaller than the expanse of spacetime.
I guess I just have to respond accordingly, without much choice other than to keep teetering with the teeter. For I am the teeter, just as everyone else is. And we keep on teetering together, into ourselves, who we have known, and forgotten, just for the sake of remembering again.
There is so much beauty. So much beauty I have known. It dwarfs the horror, fortunately. Yes, the horror is part of it, to remind us of the freedom to be, and the cause and effect of being. And if you claim to be beyond being, well I don't know you yet, but I guess I'll see you there one day. Until then, it's more teetering.  |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2014 : 02:18:16 AM
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2014 : 5:02:36 PM
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Thank you, Anima. 
some stirring, unrelenting voices have run rampant in my mind
what can i do but listen?
in time they will fade
only the silence remains
one voice, with several shades:
hues of reddened anger
tints of blue serenity
the wispy whiteness of the listener
at times, i have wanted nothing but to escape
but with time, the doer of this doing has become hard to identify
and it becomes clearer that this continous dream will play out the way it plays out
maybe i can nudge it a little bit, but i've grown tired of struggling against a flow i cannot fully understand
there is a difference between effortlessness and laziness
there is a difference between being in the flow and wanting to die early
there is a difference between apathy and taking care of what is your's to take care of
when the "i" is silent, the surroundings revolve around a contented emptiness
and nothing sticks for long, except for the innocent bandwidth which remains unchanged
the hints of uniqueness which adorn the organic sculpture
speak of lines carved by the passage of cyclical days
repeated in a linear fashion, seemingly pointing to a final destination
of peace and joy. |
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Dogboy
USA
2296 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2014 : 8:08:58 PM
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'Twas once a backward yogi tagged Dogboy
Who slobbered his bhakti like his chew toy
By starting DM with samyama,
And finishing with pranayama
His practice became labled as "agoY".
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Edited by - Dogboy on Sep 06 2014 9:00:55 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2014 : 1:21:21 PM
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Dogboy! Consistently delivering quality product in the form of authentic words! Fresh off the market and into the receptive minds of impressionable Americans.
Hey, I've got a new slogan for the AYP for Recovery website I'm building. What do you think?...
Fueled by Inner Silence
Powered by Subtle Vibration
Regulated by Rhythm and Harmony |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2014 : 5:02:25 PM
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I like the slogan a lot.
Your post above is very much what I'm struggling with. I'm taking a job at a 7-11, ten hours a week. I'm scared that I will fail again, not being suited to the work. I don't want to sell or be around liquor, either. Well, what's the point in not trying to do something? That would not be stimulating. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2014 : 6:04:36 PM
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Well, nothing is set in stone, Anima. You don't have to sign any contracts in blood, do you? I work a customer service-type job on the phone, and I've enjoyed it, so you might like it for a little while--to keep you afloat financially. You can infuse the job with your positive wit and cheerfulness, and that will bring people joy. It could be a chill gig. You're on the right track.
Tomorrow I go to put an offer on a house. Gonna try to build my own little cosmic temple, masquerading as just another little house in the suburbs, but secretly operating as a portal for multidimensional travel and communication.  |
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Dogboy
USA
2296 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2014 : 7:04:13 PM
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quote:
Fueled by Inner Silence
Powered by Subtle Vibration
Regulated by Rhythm and Harmony
I like the concept, maybe run it legal for any disclaimers. 
quote:
Tomorrow I go to put an offer on a house. Gonna try to build my own little cosmic temple, masquerading as just another little house in the suburbs, but secretly operating as a portal for multidimensional travel and communication.
Cool! Maybe decorate it in the Yoni Mudra Theme. Get a dry ice smoke machine! |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2014 : 8:59:40 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Well, nothing is set in stone, Anima. You don't have to sign any contracts in blood, do you? I work a customer service-type job on the phone, and I've enjoyed it, so you might like it for a little while--to keep you afloat financially. You can infuse the job with your positive wit and cheerfulness, and that will bring people joy. It could be a chill gig. You're on the right track.
Tomorrow I go to put an offer on a house. Gonna try to build my own little cosmic temple, masquerading as just another little house in the suburbs, but secretly operating as a portal for multidimensional travel and communication.
Thanks, my friend. That is very encouraging to hear from you. With your multidimensional nexus, do be sure it doesn't end up like the house in "The Burbs." |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2014 : 9:48:10 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Anima Deorum
With your multidimensional nexus, do be sure it doesn't end up like the house in "The Burbs."
LOL.  The house I'm leasing is already like that. The goal is to create a new kind of madness other than the flophouse of recovering addicts which I'm currently mired in. Pristine madness, preferably.  |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2014 : 7:50:23 PM
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granular points sprinkled across the field of perception
bound together by emptiness
glimmer like keyholes waiting to be unlocked
the staggering genius of the design is beyond comprehension
but we can try anyway
more and more the beauty becomes evident
as we stop cursing the unfathomable chaos of our origin
and just get on with adapting to the change of our Being. |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2014 : 12:27:24 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
the staggering genius of the design is beyond comprehension
but we can try anyway
It's beautifully put here And with the housing situation,I have no advice, but will always listen. There are friends to help you find the right situation!
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Edited by - Anima on Sep 10 2014 02:52:37 AM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2014 : 11:21:35 PM
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My supervisor walked by me today and asked, "So what's going on with you?"
I replied, "You mean--what am I doing right now?"
"No, I mean what's going on in your head."
I paused, cracked a smile, and before I could answer, she laughed and said: "Never mind, I don't want to know."
Now that's why I keep going. |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2014 : 10:33:20 AM
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2014 : 7:51:13 PM
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| I put self-pacing on the leading edge. Balanced on the precipice, trusting the inner compass, abandoning the guru/sponsor modality. My hatred for God sustains me. The pure rage, the intensity of anger, the well-directed rawness which goes to Him alone. On the surface is a semi-genuine demeanor of laid-back congeniality and playfulness, but underneath is a raging volcano. Really, it is joy refining itself. It is the beastly animal nature roaring until it becomes song. It is best kept underneath. Not repressed, but well tended to, like a fire in a cauldron. When it comes to the surface, it is properly forged. The metal becomes shiny by the intensity of the heat, and the layers are folded endlessly to yield a remarkably sharp blade. |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 18 2014 : 8:22:22 PM
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Hi Bodhi,
I can relate 100%. Please know you are loved and have friends. The distance isn't always so great.
People tell me to conceal myself, too. When I do, they are so lost. When I don't, they are so lost. They tell me I'm lost.
But I know what is there, inside, and it's not for sale. I won't sell a view of it, and I won't sell it any view. Presumption be damned.
People tell me I'm self-destructive, but they can't understand a single sentence. What was constructed in the first place? Why is their view of me better than what nature is allowing to happen?
You know how I feel about humanity: disgusted [edit: whatevs]. To the point of despair and back. Now it is so hard to care about anything. Let them keep guessing.
No one cares to put a hand on the shoulder. That would be wrong. People don't need that kind of handout. [edit: Not true! My friends were very supportive at the Michigan retreat, and have continued to be so. When I sobbed, there was hand on my shoulder, and it was okay.]
So, fine.
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Edited by - Anima on Sep 19 2014 8:33:39 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 18 2014 : 11:06:41 PM
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Anima,
This train is bound for glory. It's not even a belief; it's just a fact. |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2014 : 8:28:17 PM
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Yes_
That serenity train_
Sorry, didn't mean to wig out!_ |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2014 : 11:09:15 PM
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| . Amen. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2014 : 10:41:22 AM
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I can see it. Can you? I can see it on the horizon, glimmering with a clarity that speaks of Now, and though distant, the future is Here already. If you cannot see it, do not be disturbed, it will come clear soon enough.
Have you noticed the granularity of things?--the pixilated points and innumerable details in our field of perception? I'm sure you have. Have you further noticed that a point cannot be zoomed in upon with any finality? The point will only disappear into Infinity as we try to grasp its location. Alas, there is no absolute location to be found.
I am searching for a home. A home to share. I do not yet know who will share it with me. But I can see it, because it is already here, now, remember? I wouldn't fool you with these clever games. Not for long, at least. But you already knew that, didn't you? You know what I am saying. You know where we are going. We have already been there.
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2014 : 10:37:40 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Have you noticed the granularity of things?--the pixilated points and innumerable details in our field of perception? I'm sure you have. Have you further noticed that a point cannot be zoomed in upon with any finality? The point will only disappear into Infinity as we try to grasp its location. Alas, there is no absolute location to be found.
I am searching for a home. A home to share. I do not yet know who will share it with me. But I can see it, because it is already here, now, remember? I wouldn't fool you with these clever games. Not for long, at least. But you already knew that, didn't you? You know what I am saying. You know where we are going. We have already been there.
Wow! That’s some deep and intense insight. Your speech always gets me cranked up
Kabir says of the home and heart:
...In vain men search for Him
In mountains and dales;
Within my body I found Him,
So close to me.
I weave the cloth of the Lord’s Name.
Repetition I made the dabber
To clean and purify my mind;
Realization I made the comb
To remove the twists and twirls
That entangled my being.
Thus become immaculate,
I remain absorbed in His love.
Without wandering about,
I earned the gift of love
Within my own home....
Surely yours is close, dear friend, Here and Now, and There and Then!
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Edited by - Anima on Sep 22 2014 12:37:39 AM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2014 : 12:42:56 AM
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| Ah, thank you for the Kabir, Anima. Here's to looking W-I-T-H-I-N. |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2014 : 10:06:27 PM
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Thanks, man. This is what was also produced, as a by-product:
Edmund Husserl wrote of how a perceived thing "hovers before” us (vorschwebt). In that statement, he demonstrates the inconstancy of the perception of things. Why is it not claimed to be fixed or grounded, aside from the abject failures of foundationalism and transcendental formalism, and, of course, our actual experience? Ironically, Husserl’s observation occurs within an attempted explication of the universal laws of perception (phenomenology). While he aimed to detach conscious inquiry and experience from the relativism of psychology and individuality, he was nonetheless faced with the ineffable confluence of one and many. For in his ontologically steeped approach, one of classic, occidental syntax, he applied analysis and synthesis to mere phenomena. While they are governed by such relations, the relations themselves are not identifiable, aside from their ostension. What is the ultimate nature of division and union, birth and death, duality and non-duality? Our very language of them is intractably contained in existence itself, as being, as manifestation, or phenomena (Greek, "things, having appeared"). Whence spring many, but one? And whence springs one, but none? And there is none outside of one, and none between the many, and none between the one and the other.
While Husserl theorized that the inconstancy and lack of uniform delineation between the perceived content of subjectively individuated experience (as in perception of color, shape, and taste) were due to a misunderstanding of consciousness as being ultimately individualized, his inability to categorically demonstrate the corollary of individuated minds, undertaken in his infamous Sixth Cartesian Meditation, heralds the futility of his task: to think it possible to know what makes all possibility possible. We are brought back to one of the oldest dialogs in written history, The Debate between a Man and his Soul, written in Egypt, between 2000 and 1700 BC, in which a man pleads with his soul to be patient in going to the afterlife. His soul feels the heavy sting of rejection among men, and yearns for the lightness of being back among the gods, in its rightful place. In this timeless dispute, we remember our wonder at the unfathomable mystery of separation and union, in all things, whether they be, or not.
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Edited by - Anima on Sep 23 2014 12:27:25 AM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2014 : 10:10:35 PM
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Thank you, Anima. That is some fine philosophy.
Here's a good koan-like story. Very short.
A monk was talking to his master about the afterlife. He was very passionate about his belief that he would ascend to a higher realm once leaving the body. He was quite sure his soul would be in a Buddha Field.
So the teacher said: "OK, let me get this straight. When you die, your Earthly body will be in the ground, and your soul will be in a heavenly realm...is that right?"
"Yes, that's right, master."
"OK then, just one more question. Can you please tell me: when you die, and your body is in the ground, and your soul is in heaven, where exactly will YOU be?"
Hehehe...that's a tricky one, isn't it. |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2014 : 12:33:51 AM
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Classic identity crisis!
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Journal of a Disgruntled Mystic
