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adi_bangalore
India
2 Posts |
 Posted - May 13 2014 : 09:19:08 AM
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Hi people,
I am 25 yrs old, experiencing Kundalini emergency, finding it hard to accept the new perspective, seeing myself dissolve, fear, frustration, trouble with day to day activities etc etc. The list goes on.
Awakened primarily due to a relationship break up, phsyical trauma before that, and due to spiritual practices without a Guru's physical guidance (always felt as though there is an invisible force guiding though.. Leading me to Spiritually evolved gurus/vrindavans all along!) .
We both were intensely devoted to Him and destiny had it to separate us (Weird? This is too complicated to explain.Astrology, Family matters, Caste barriers, my own confusions all led to it.. If He really had to separate us, why did he even bring us together!! :@).
Even knowing that attachment can only make things worse, we are still in touch and I am able to open up only to her(as we both work at the same office).. It is only making things worse(for both) I know..(May God give her strength as well..)
There are mood swings and episodes where I feel I am completely detached from the world(Scary), none of those that mattered to me earlier matter any more. And then, i come back, facing the world, not knowing how to react. What to do.
Have a feeling that I will forget all I know and am gonna change for ever. It is overwhelming indeed.
I would be grateful to all who have gone through the same experience, if you could give your perspective on the two questions below:
1. Are all those who are dealing with it. Are you still able to carry on with your responsibilities? (Taking care of parents for instance. I know there dreams are shattered now.. They expected a normal me, and here I am, in search of Self and now dead scared that it has surfaced!)
2. I am unable to even work normally (Trouble with grounding the energy). In such a situation, there are people I love, who compel me to go to Psychiatrist (They certainly feel I have gone insane!), attend "Land Mark Forums". I don't know how to explain it to them.
Any Advice on how to t deal with them?
Have already made my parent's life a hell by saying that I am undergoing a Kundalini emergency and that is making me least worldy (They fear I will take up Sanyasa, which might very well happen!)
Clueless, indeed of what Mother (Kundalini) will direct me to!
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2014 : 8:54:17 PM
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Hi Adi Bangalore,
Let me attempt to give support with my personal experience and hope! Please forgive my narcissism.
Question 1: Yes. I deal with responsibilities better now, at least, compared to before my opening. You can too. It's taken me time and a lot of work.
Question 2: 17 years of psychotherapy and 10 years of psychiatric medication did not solve my perceived problem of self. Only now am I beginning to cope independently. I had to leave my family's house, and was homeless for 6 months. Now I live in a building where most people do not work and drink alcohol and smoke marijuana all day, and some of them harass me on my days off and at night. Hang in there.
I had a very dramatic, spontaneous crown opening over a year ago. This experience compelled me stop taking the psychiatric drugs I had been prescribed for ten years (SSRIs). I eagerly left drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana behind (and still going strong). I still have an intense sexual attachment and still have acted out recently. This is not uncommon for people finding purification (being faced with a more intense attachment).
My interpersonal relationships and emotions have become extremely difficult. I feel disgust, anger, despair, detachment, joy, fear, and bodily energy/ecstasy/anxiety almost every waking minute. Nothing has been able to calm the energy. I often fear I will be ruined before I can regroup. But I suppose we have to make the best of it.
My only suggestion is to try to be gentle with yourself and continue very light practices. I have been focusing on pranayama breathing, with just a touch of deep meditation. Maybe it can help you, too. Also, consider putting in a request to the samyama list for healing/balance.
Love! |
Edited by - Anima on May 13 2014 9:27:47 PM |
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BillinL.A.
USA
375 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2014 : 9:50:31 PM
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Anima sometimes I feel that you just put me to shame with your honesty.
I just love it!  
Adi Bangalore good luck!!! |
Edited by - BillinL.A. on May 13 2014 9:51:37 PM |
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NoDogma
USA
123 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2014 : 9:05:52 PM
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These things can take time to heal because you might not be able to distinguish the emotional/mental aspect of relationship problem from Kundalini symptoms for sometime. Following are my suggestions
a) try to get absorbed in daily life (every activity) as much as possible. Even washing dishes.
b) try to look outside and not at your thoughts. Look at trees, birds, animals, other people, the whole world. Every tiny cell in the whole world is doing its best to survive. It's a beautiful world. Have faith that things will improve over a period of time.
c) Try to purposely distract yourself every 30 minutes (start an alarm to remind you). At that time, watch your current thought, then think of something pleasant/good (from past or future). Stay with that thought for few seconds before returning to normal activity.
d) find a therapist and meet him/her weekly. Going to a therapist does not mean one is 'crazy'. One goes to a therapist to talk things out. and it is supposed to be easy to talk to a 3rd person who doesn't have many suggestions (as against a friend or a family member).
e) if you've obsessiveness then ask your therapist about trying an SSRI :-) ... sorry Anima, but this seems to be the only drug on obsessiveness.
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Edited by - NoDogma on May 14 2014 9:24:53 PM |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2014 : 9:10:56 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2014 : 09:06:38 AM
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Hey there.
Keep calm. There's nothing to worry about. Just let go. K is so much easier when you don't resist.
Start taking action: do sports, walk, do asana, learn new languages, ride a horse, whatever, just get out there and apply yourself.
Meditate everyday. Commit to a regular practice. Get your body in shape. Run, lift weights, etc.
Meet new girls.
Don't go to landmarks Haha.
Stop caring what your parents think.
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2014 : 12:39:05 PM
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Adi
Lot of walking with relaxed mind definitely helps. Do long walks with no heavy exercise as it may increase the heat and K. Dancing and walking certainly helps.
Also do the olive oil massage daily from head to toe that will help smooth out energy as well.
Meeting friends calling friends definitely helps.
Also do the surrender to K as TNN said it it is easier to deal when we surrender than when we resits. What we resist it persist
Also in my case when i am resting in Savasna i just let it go and let the divine take over. It is very relaxing. Sometimes it is kind of meditation for me. My body like that way.
Also during the meditation just relax no Mantra. I like to just sit and relax.
Also eat more frequently as the energy is surging as in my case i have eat more otherwise i will lose weight as my metabolism is higher than usual. Also sometime it causes acidity and heat as well as in my case. There may be some digestive challenges as well.
I think with time you will slowly balance things out.
All the best
PKJ |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2014 : 1:29:37 PM
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One may learn to stretch their capacity for patience, positivity and making the necessary adjustments ... all very gradually with baby steps. We are learning to love ourselves deeply and properly. We've not known how to do that before. Well intentioned friends and family may very much want to help us, to understand what we're going through. But in fact all they are able to do is relate in terms of their own experience. If they have not experienced k awakening, it logically follows that they would have no capacity for relating to our experience. It is suggested that you encourage a positive or neutral attitude toward your k awakening and that you minimize exposure to negative or uninformed (inexperienced) feedback from others.
In my opinion, if we are not intensely drawn to the divine, if we don't have an extraordinarily passionate and long term stabilized longing for the divine - no matter how we may personally conceive of the absolute - we will most likely be spared the energetic awakening. To me, k awakening is the most precious of gifts. However, we must be more or less prepared for Shakti to awaken ... on some level we must welcome and embrace her movement, in order for her to reshape, empower and uplift our lives. Once she begins to move, we may experience discomfort or even extreme pain. That is mainly because she is urgently desiring to reunite with her beloved and is encountering obstacles in her mission. The urgency of Shakti to reunite with Shiva is the physical and metaphorical outpicturing of our own personal longing for the divine.
It's all about what the divine means to us personally. And in a k awakening it's about the energetic component of spiritual enlightenment. Perhaps it would be helpful to share how it played out for me.
When my k awakening shifted into high gear, I was extremely frustrated and angry with God. I needed answers to questions. Specifically why the Divine appears to be okay with human suffering. I realized that God does not cause this suffering, but the absolute appears to allow it. I wasn't comfortable with that. And a lot of my k problems were stemming from that issue.
When k awakens, it may dawn upon you - sooner or later - that you are passing the buck. This can be explained in a number of ways. But the bottom line is that you are the divine, are co-partners with the divine, and/or you share in the responsibility for allowing the suffering for which you've been blaming God. Underneath my anger with the divine - was fear. The more difficult my k awakening became, the more I feared the divine. What this translated to, in terms of my k awakening, was that I actually feared the divine awakening in me.
I was very attached to my resentment toward God for allowing humans (and other lifeforms) to suffer so terribly. And I was becoming even more frustrated with the whole affair due to the energy intensification. Eventually it seemed obvious. In spite of my attachment, I might try loosening my grip a little and attempt to - just for a few moments - experience detachment toward the divine. Maybe even to forgive the divine (my Self). Loosening the grip of my mental attachment to blaming God turned out to be a vital turning point in my k awakening. It became easier after that. Instead of focusing on my difficulties, I began to lighten up and eventually dance with the energy. This transformation was experienced as nothing short of a miracle.
When we either fight or fear our k awakening, we make it unnecessarily difficult. It seems that those having difficulties with kundalini would be well advised to intuitively adjust to the divine instruction coming from within. Let go of the fighting and fearing and concentrate on the listening. But don't listen to your own negativity or that of others. This is a divine experience. Listen there.
love
parvati |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2014 : 8:01:31 PM
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Always lovely to listen to you, parvati9!
quote:
Originally posted by parvati9
When my k awakening shifted into high gear, I was extremely frustrated and angry with God. I needed answers to questions. Specifically why the Divine appears to be okay with human suffering. I realized that God does not cause this suffering, but the absolute appears to allow it. I wasn't comfortable with that. And a lot of my k problems were stemming from that issue.
Me too. I figured that God is impossible since suffering exists. How could He excuse it? I was writing an argument against God's existence, using polyadic predicate logic, and planning on publishing it, when my crown started its opening. I sought divinity in imperfect beings. Now I sing His names everywhere
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adi_bangalore
India
2 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2014 : 11:42:31 AM
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Hi Everyone.
Anima, you did scare me  
Thanks for your soothing words and insight tonightsthenight, pjk and Parvathi.
Still yet to make peace with myself, future just looks blank :S Have started walking long distances (sometimes it causes more pressure to build up!)
Have bad pain in the knees(which had caused a havoc 3yrs back n still on :@), so can't push myself physically.. (I miss running marathons :( ) Past 3 yrs hav take away literally all that I loved doing (Guess thats the reason why my fuse blew n here i go on a crazy ride! hehe) .. Let me try to embrace this change. perhaps it does hav a lot to teach me n mght show me the right path as well! :) Thanks again people |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2014 : 9:38:38 PM
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| Sounds fine Adi. Just accept things as they are. We only need to practice in order to build a net to fall into. If you can fall without the net, all the better |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - May 22 2014 : 7:07:20 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by adi_bangalore
Hi Everyone.
Anima, you did scare me
Thanks for your soothing words and insight tonightsthenight, pjk and Parvathi.
Still yet to make peace with myself, future just looks blank :S Have started walking long distances (sometimes it causes more pressure to build up!)
Have bad pain in the knees(which had caused a havoc 3yrs back n still on :@), so can't push myself physically.. (I miss running marathons :( ) Past 3 yrs hav take away literally all that I loved doing (Guess thats the reason why my fuse blew n here i go on a crazy ride! hehe) .. Let me try to embrace this change. perhaps it does hav a lot to teach me n mght show me the right path as well! :) Thanks again people
Dear friend,
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
Things are okay here and will turn out good for you. I have a loving relationship with my mother and brothers, and good, honest friends, and a decent job and place to live. Considering that I was lost in despair, alcoholism, and atheism less than two years ago, things are looking good!
Love and prayers
Tom |
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monica20november
India
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2014 : 1:09:02 PM
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adi bangalore...
i had such a tough time of it that i had to get it stopped by a master last year..
yes now i have resumed normal life
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Edited by - monica20november on Aug 26 2014 05:44:28 AM |
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Kundalini Emergency!
