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MrSteroids1
Canada
72 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 07 2014 : 8:26:03 PM
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I am not crazy. My identification with the ego has intellectually disappeared, yet i remain two. I can distinctly recognize what in me is the ego and what is the true me. I know the end of the road is nearing, or i hope, i don't want to remain like this for too long.
I feel that my true self is a floating camera in this human me's head, which isn't the body at all, just my incarnation. My thoughts are racing and i am almost unable to control them, only watch them and tell the to shut up ,they don't shut up most often. I cannot control my thoughts. It's a sort of psychological torture.
My crown chakra is untying at an alarming rate right now, I'm worrying. I'm being watched over by the archangel Michael for a few days, or until it unties completely and enlightenment happens.
Hoping the best for myself. |
Edited by - MrSteroids1 on Apr 07 2014 10:23:49 PM |
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MrSteroids1
Canada
72 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2014 : 12:03:04 AM
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Okay, here's what truly happened. The two hemispheres of my brain completely stopped communicating to each-other. I suspect it was due to too much stress over an extended period of time, and me learning the habit of automatically say "no" to each thoughts i don't want to hear ,which i will cease to do in the future. I learned that i must stay friendly to myself, or else the brain eventually self destruct. For a while the two brains were unable to communicate with each-other by any other mean than thinking out loud, which resulted in chaos, psychological torture and a head ache.
I'm fixed now, thanks to Michael and my personal angel guide. The two hemispheres are stitched up back together and communicating well once again. Who needs a doctor when you got an archangel to fix you up, lol.
It's just a bad memory now. |
Edited by - MrSteroids1 on Apr 08 2014 12:25:17 AM |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2014 : 12:33:46 AM
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Glad to hear our friend Michael was able to help you through that rough spot!
In case it might be useful to you or anybody else experiencing a similar situation, I have found this organization, "Spiritual Emergence" to be very helpful. They have therapists who are highly educated in the spiritual realm and understand that these kinds of "crises" are about liberation and healing and are able to guide people through it: http://spiritualemergence.net/
Thanks for sharing about your spiritual metamorphosis and please continue to keep us posted as things unfold!   |
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MrSteroids1
Canada
72 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2014 : 3:18:27 PM
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ok, here's the long version
Honestly, i think i would be dead or completely insane if Michael didn't fix me up last night. I broke my brain, too much self hatred. I, the self, fought for dominance against the ego for a long time, and yesterday is the day it said, "i give up, life is too painful"
I understood that spiritual unfoldment is in 3 stages
1: the baseline, you are identified as the ego, like a child.
2: the awakening, you probably have been meditating for a while and you have awakened your "self" that which isn't the ego
3: the unification, the self and the ego has learned to love and has become one.
What i did wrong, at the stage of awakening, which happened a few months back, instead of seeing everything problematic that needs care in my emotional body and caring for them, i learned to say no to hearing anything about them, i fought for dominance against the ego instead of learning to love myself. The ego felt hated and decided to give up having any relationship with me.
Then, the self and ego got truly separated and the two eyes looked at eachother, figuratively. I got full consciousness of what is me and what is ego, the floating camera and the body/mind. I'm stitched up back together, but the two selves cannot forget that we are two. Even if the communication is restored, i can talk with my ego and it replies without me having any control making it talk, i'm not crazy, this is real.
I have both the point of view of the self, and the point of view of the ego, but they are not united, as it is the goal called enlightenment.
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2014 : 11:10:08 PM
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Yes, the ego can get its feelings hurt and become offended when revealed to be nothing more than a mental construct through which the Self experiences life in and through a particular space-time location! Then it may try to reassert itself.  Yeah, the "fight for dominance" isn't fun. We need to be kind to ourselves.
Michael is one of my favorite angels.
The thing I like about Spiritual Emergence, which I referred to in the post above, is that while they are licensed therapists, unlike nearly all mainstream therapists, they are very spiritually aware and they are comfortable handling cases involving kundalini overload in its various manifestations, which mainstream therapy tends to view as "psychosis." I very much enjoyed studying with some of their founding members at Esalen Institute back in the 1980s and they inspired me in my counseling career. They even offer FREE phone support! So if you ever find yourself at a point where the brain feels broken and you're not getting angelic assistance, these folks can help. |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jun 17 2014 : 3:29:48 PM
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I think theres an awakening process happening there and some kind of spiritual emergence. But in this process identification happens and creates much confusion and chaos.
Have you considered that when you talk about those two entities (self and ego) you talk about the same entity?: the mental ego divided in two parts? Thats what mind do: separation. In that separation the creation of a more subtle spiritual enlightened ego (i think all we experience that event in our journey). And it doesnt rest importance and reality to the real process happening there.
And i dont doubt something real is happening there, of course i can relate simmilar inner porcess thats why im writing you here.
I truly recommend you to do some light chambers from the amorah quan yin book "pleyadian exercices". For me has been my salvation 2 months ago, when too much inner stuff were happening inside and simmilar to your experience.
You know, when you see what you really are, for a few moments theres nothing much more to say. Just wonder and deep feeling of freedom. You cant talk about it or locate it (the chanber in the head) or achieve it . Its just a realization and its really always there with us so to say, all the time.
Ego here on earth is part of the game.Its not solid at all, just a mental world. To understand the mechanism and its nature is a big deal. We just need to stop and observe to see and reveal the truth , the light.
Like the lessons here says its like a clean window (presence) with much dirty on it (identification, ego, mental stuff...) and ell theres too much to clean. And in the mean while you see what we are, and those moments are more clear, more often and more longer periods of time. And that presence baths our lifes as we advance in this discovery.
WOuld be helpful if you share here what kind of spiritual practices are or were you involved before this events happening in there.
The key word here maybe is just to allow and dont try to fight against the process.Rest, dont stress your self to much, and BREATH.Go to nature or the woods or mounains and connect with them in meditation. Just breath. It will help you to release. I strongly recomend the light chanbers from amorahs book. Porbably you are dealing with strong cleansing there. Ypou have a chamber called "accelerated assimilation chamber" that here was definitely the solution (amongst others).
Allow the toughts happen and dont try to fight against them as you say cz mind create thoughts by itself, like a machine.Mind triyin to fight with the same mind is not helpful but part of the crazy game with no solution.
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Edited by - miguel on Jun 17 2014 4:19:50 PM |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jun 17 2014 : 3:57:18 PM
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Its very interesting:
"It is a natural process of growth toward a deeper, more connected and expanded way of being, that usually occurs slowly throughout our lives and is gently integrated. When this process occurs rapidly or becomes very intense it can seem disruptive and out of context with everyday life, precipitating a personal crisis which is referred to as a Spiritual Emergency."
Thas how i see it. This journey on this planet/life is about this process. Like an school, we learn and cleanse/enlighten our darkness so to say. And darkness is theteacher also of course.
In this spiritual emergences i feel we heal in few period of time too much stuff that would have taken several years out of spiritual journey or in past times (we have to say that this times are very intense and the energy acelerate the processes too much. We are on a highway now more and more...). I think we also heal past lifes in this emergences related with actual circunstances. And i think alll this is about evolution here on earth and in the universe. Thats how it works. Its time for awakening now.
enilghtenment= to enlighten the mind and body. The dark spots, obstructions. Not only in us but in the whole universe...so its a long trip...!
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Edited by - miguel on Jun 17 2014 4:02:11 PM |
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MrSteroids1
Canada
72 Posts |
Posted - Jul 18 2014 : 9:27:52 PM
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| thanks for the tips miguel. |
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I am two, ego and I
