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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 12:32:26 PM
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Hello!
Inspired by Jonathan and Yogaman I decided to put my journal online as well.
To quickly summarize my adventures so far for those who have not been following my threads.
I'm a 30 years old lad from Finland who has been AY-practitioner since the summer of 2013. My spiritual background is in charismatic christianity, which i abruptly left in my late teens in search of true spirituality. I went to Israel to learn of messianic judaism to orthodox judaism which I observed as a goy in a small group for some years before I ventured into rastafarianism through being introduced to marijuana and becoming largely atheistic after a while and leading quite a hardcore life being a touring musician. After living that life for some time, I was introduced to psychedelic mushrooms, and I partook a psychedelic ceremony twice, and after having a kundalini awakening during my second trip I soon quit smoking and habitual drinking.
After that I got again interested in spirituality after bumping into Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now which was the book that got me to realize things. From Tolle I got into Gurdjieff and then to Osho teaching, who had a major impact on me realizing my false preconceptions of existence and my cultural programming and opened my mind finally for being ready to actually "get" meditating.
Soon after that I found myself attending an Osho tantra retreat which helped me to work on my lower chakras that had previosly been blocked due to my "sinful" ideas about sexuality which I got from my religious upbringing. Every since I have been cultivating brahmachariya approach on life, albeit not without rocks on the road.
From all of the solo meditation techniques I have found AYP to be the most "effective" and easily approachable system, although at first I was too quick to add practises to my routine. Now I'm back to the basics.
My current routine is:
- Short chiqong
- Few asanas
- 15-20min DM
- 5min rest
Twice a day
After rather wild meditation experiences during the first few months (which were necessary to catch my interest) I have been enjoying easy no-frills sits without extra scenery. I have been consulted by an energy reader/healer, and after she worked on my sacral chakra I now have my seven chakras all open and active, although there is still some work to do on the heart chakra before they become stable.
My life altogether feels more balanced now and it feels like I'm about to end one era in the life and getting ready to start a new one. Who knows? I'll keep on practising and watching anyways.
I'm looking forward to the spring and the walks in the forest. I bought new, proper hiking shoes to begin with and I'm excited about starting a new 'hobby'! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 12:53:29 PM
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| Awesome. Thank you for sharing. Very inspiring. |
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 1:14:14 PM
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Chinmayo,
Why no Spinal Breathing Pranayama? |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 1:33:06 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesboy
Chinmayo,
Why no Spinal Breathing Pranayama?
Hello jonesboy!
I discussed this in another thread last year and there I concluded that I didn't get it right, and since I had been doing it wrong I decided to drop it until I become more sensitive to the energies. Briefly put, I couldn't imagine the spine to begin with and I didn't feel any energies in my attempts to do so. |
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 5:25:09 PM
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Chinmayo,
I have to tell you I think you are over thinking it.
Now to be honest when I first started SP I could feel it. For awhile now sometimes I can still feel it and sometimes I can't. Sometimes visualization works, sometimes I feel I am skipping everything but the two end points.
The one thing I don't do is worry about it. It may not be smooth, it may not have feeling and I may not be able to visualize it. It doesn't matter. Things are still working just like they should be under the hood even when it doesn't seem like it while I am driving.
Now I don't know if this is a good or bad thing to recommend. One thing I have been doing before SP that seems to help is Lesson 220 - Q&A – Opening the heart chakra I only do it for 5 mins. but it does seem to help. |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 6:13:17 PM
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Hi Chinmayo,
Very nice! Thank you for sharing your journey 
Keep at it!!
Regarding spinal breathing I think Yogani says somewhere that if it is hard to visualize then it is ok to focus just on the root in the beginning, then go to third eye at the end of inhalation, then go to root at the end of exhalation. Meaning just focus on the two points like jonesboy said. Just a suggestion if you feel like doing it.
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 7:07:39 PM
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Hi Chinmayo,
Curious about you qigong addition, is it just a couple brief sets you repeat every session, or do you go though many different ones that change around? How do you decide which ones to do? Have you found it fitting better before your AYP routines as opposed to after?
I ask because if in the future I decided to shuffle the sitting times around some, a qigong set would be at the top of that list to tag along. I've tried this early on, and found soon enough that the standing and sitting don't blend very well as they seem to work in opposition in their effects on the body. I also don't know how it would interact with AYP, and have my hands full watching for delayed effects and everything to add any minor side practices any time soon. |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 8:22:55 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by AumNaturel
Hi Chinmayo,
Curious about you qigong addition, is it just a couple brief sets you repeat every session, or do you go though many different ones that change around? How do you decide which ones to do? Have you found it fitting better before your AYP routines as opposed to after?
I ask because if in the future I decided to shuffle the sitting times around some, a qigong set would be at the top of that list to tag along. I've tried this early on, and found soon enough that the standing and sitting don't blend very well as they seem to work in opposition in their effects on the body. I also don't know how it would interact with AYP, and have my hands full watching for delayed effects and everything to add any minor side practices any time soon.
Hi!
What I do is a chiqong shaking, body tapping routine and 8 brocades with only few repetitions before moving into asanas. I do the same routine in the morning and evening, as I feel it's a good way to wake up or invigorate the body so that I'm fully awake before and during the sit. I know it's unorthodox, but seems to work for me. I often have a stiff neck and back in the morning so I can't even do a sun salutation right after waking up! Also, standing first, then sitting down and then laying down to rest is a logical procession.
Conducting a full chigong set (1,5-2hours) AND doing AYP also is a different story altogether and that I can't recommend unless in a retreat setting, as it can be too powerful. Overpractise might lead into disturbed sleep and insomnia.
Moreover, many of the chigong meditations require imagining or visualizing energy which I find very difficult to do and personally prefer AYP mantra meditation over that. But, the practises which I have been using seem to be helpful for me. |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2014 : 9:19:49 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesboy
Chinmayo,
I have to tell you I think you are over thinking it.
It could be!
But on the other hand, in a way I feel like the techniques have become less important. It's like the witness is there, I realize its' existence and I know the way to access it is by focusing on the now by dropping all ideas of myself, all ideas of the world, all words and symbols. And I don't need techniques to do that - all I need is basically to let go and there I am in a state of not wanting. By entering into deep meditation, with the help of a mantra.
Of course, during the day there is often a 'fall' back into the world of thoughts of unclarity, especially when it comes to making decisions. Then again, I see things happening without planning even on daily basis which serve as reminders that universe has a tendency of providing for us when we empty ourselves of foolish ideas and be open, flexible and elastic.
The meditation is a way of practising and preparing our bodymind for the realization and is not the goal or life itself. It is also a good habit to have, a great way to start and end the day. But as I see it now, the simpler the better - the scenery is nice and all but the real magic happens in real life :)
Blessed love |
Edited by - chinmayo on Mar 20 2014 9:48:10 PM |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2014 : 03:04:49 AM
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How can I get there when I AM always here?
How could I do things then when there is only NOW?
How could there be you if there is no me, but only the silent witness?
Who am I?
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2014 : 07:43:38 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by chinmayo
But on the other hand, in a way I feel like the techniques have become less important. It's like the witness is there, I realize its' existence and I know the way to access it is by focusing on the now by dropping all ideas of myself, all ideas of the world, all words and symbols. And I don't need techniques to do that - all I need is basically to let go and there I am in a state of not wanting. By entering into deep meditation, with the help of a mantra.
There are different levels of the Witness, the first glimpses of being Aware at the beginning have to be refined into seeing our Nothingness and eventually our Everything-ness. There are levels of "not wanting" that is not grasped at the beginning of practices. The integrated approach /techniques given serve the purpose of getting you there efficiently.
Blessings on your path 
Sey |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2014 : 10:46:13 AM
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| Looking forward to following your progress. Interesting "initiation" story. |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2014 : 8:21:07 PM
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Yes I think you guys are right, I have come to agree that I'm most likely overthinking it. I'm gonna give it a try some time soon.
I had a minor setback as I succumbed to one of my strongest addictions this weekend - computer role playing games. I don't usually play any games since I know I get addicted easily and, as also this weekend, I happened to 'lose' myself totally in the game and played it 8hours a day or so. Now I finally walked through it and I remember how easy it is to 'relapse' into an old behavior pattern. Also made my head feel so hectic I couldn't even think of meditating the whole weekend. Such a waste of time, but also a good reminder of my frailty.
Also, the idea of sexuality has been poppin' into the mind at times recently, in a form of a faint yearning for intimacy. It is more refined form of yearning than what I remember of it being in the past, yet it is still there. From a brahmachariyan perspective it is interesting to see how it will change and how am I able to transmute it as I do not have a partner.
Having a tantric approach to brahmacharia, I do not oppose to relationships and if I happen to form one with someone it would be my first with this mindset anyways. Yet, I do not see myself "pursuing" or looking for a relationship. I have met interesting women, but something has changed in my perception as I do not actively want anything from them or from these interactions. There could be interesting conversation, highly enjoyable time over all leaving a nice feeling afterwards, but no feeling of neediness or desire. It sort of feels like I am there with them as sexually neutral being. Alcohol changes that and I feel it also lowers my vibrational level so I like to avoid that.
Anyways, time to end this rambling and to get back to the routine first thing in the morning. |
Edited by - chinmayo on Mar 31 2014 10:54:12 AM |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2014 : 1:55:01 PM
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One noteworthy thing I have been noticing more and more is that I'm less interested in my past. It also means, that I do not remember stuff from past that much. For example, I have a hard time remembering people whom I have met in the past and their names unless I have had some sort of connection with them. I also have hard time remembering what I have done, say, last week. It's strange also, as I'm naturally interested in the ancient past of humankind and I like to link different theories of our common past. I don't know, has anyone of you noticed anything similar? Maybe I'm just getting senile and dementic rather early.
Also had a nice sit last evening. It was different from 'normal' as I didn't do any asanas before sitting down, as I just sat down in padmasana instead of siddhasana and took a Vajrapradama mudra over my heart chakra. I did the regular mantra meditation with the enhancement, but quite soon into the DM I lost the track of time and the last part of the sit I found myself sitting there with eyes open without the mantra. Also, that state lasted throughout the rest period and a bit after I got up. I don't know how long it took, but I believe it was over 30 mins as my incense stick had burnt out and my legs were numb from the lotus.
Blessed love
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2014 : 3:08:30 PM
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Because senses restore with microfibers of perception, the past is no longer far away, and creeps up in the Now, which knows not the boundaries of spacetime, yet lets us live in the spacetime boundaries for the kick of it. The past, scrunched up like a balloon, hovers behind me, whereas the future, greets us like the edge of a cliff: open, daunting, uncertain.
Trusting once again the intuitive self that is a reflection of All, there is no longer any doubt that the history of the world will be forever accessible, as the heart desires, and that the future will be forever potentially awaiting to be written. On the nexus of the present, we rock to and fro in the cruel and merciful lullaby of evolution.   |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2014 : 10:47:51 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by chinmayo
One noteworthy thing I have been noticing more and more is that I'm less interested in my past. It also means, that I do not remember stuff from past that much. For example, I have a hard time remembering people whom I have met in the past and their names unless I have had some sort of connection with them. I also have hard time remembering what I have done, say, last week. It's strange also, as I'm naturally interested in the ancient past of humankind and I like to link different theories of our common past. I don't know, has anyone of you noticed anything similar? Maybe I'm just getting senile and dementic rather early.
Yes, totally. Thought, especially activity related to the frontal cortex, requires a lot of energy, biologically and subtly (as another form of reified consciousness). Nature is immensely intelligent (infinitely so), and it makes sense that as our focus changes, so too does our experience of memory. My memory is rather sharp about things that I connect with spiritually and abstractly. Day to day details, including the names and thoughts of the dozens of customers I meet every day at work, are "chucked" almost instantly, giving me the appearance of being absent-minded and aloof. But I am more present in important ways (or I like to think so). As I've been told, "Don't sweat the small stuff!"
I can't take it too seriously, either!  |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - May 12 2014 : 11:26:04 AM
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Thank you for your input Anima Deorum und Boddhi Tree!
I had a trip to Germany few weeks ago, and during that trip I found it more difficult to keep up with the routine as the beer was readily available and it is very easy to go back to the old habits (meat based foods, beer, late night 'partying'). So I had very irregular sits for three weeks, until I decided to 'sharpen up' again last friday and now I'm back to the habit.
I have reintroduced SBP now which I do for about 3-5 minutes between the asanas and the DM. I find sambhavi to be easy but moolabanda still feels arduous. I do feel some boiling up energy in the lower part of the trunk, but I still can't feel the energy going up and down. DM is peacefull. |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Jul 10 2014 : 7:56:11 PM
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Hello!
I havent been around lately, as I briefly forgot myself into an abyss of worry and anxiety. I guess I had to take a peek of that to remember the bliss of the spiritual life again! Actually ever since my winter solstice retreat I have had difficulties in keeping up with the regular sits and it seems to have culminated this summer into a loss of interest in the practise altogether.
Only recently have I tried sitting again,and now Im taking it really easy. I have decided to begin without a mantra, and only reintroduce it when I have stabilized my practise. I have kept doing asanas still and I feel ive made progress with them, and also on the intellectual side. I have also been doing sungazing when we have had clear skies here. But now I've started to missmy sits so Im back after two months of absence.
I felt it easy to find the blissfull state of meditation even after this break! Almost like continuing from where I left. Perhaps the break was beneficial to me, at least I like to see it that way.
Blessed love |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2024 : 7:55:35 PM
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Turned out the break got a bit longer than expected - got carried away by the winds of life. However, I just recently ended up on a class held by a tantra yoga guru from Nepal, and the kriya yoga session he held, and especially the deep meditation that followed it, reminded me greatlt of AYP. I have gotten back to yoga and spiritual practises just weeks ago before meeting this guru, also seemingly perchance, by running into a disciple of Osho, who I also hold in high regard. Seems like a full circle, as the circumstances that led me here in the first place were somewhat similar, except that now I'm entering this space from a place of serenity, instead of depression and yearning. Having been burning heaps of illusions, unlearning and casting doubt on tons of dogma & belief, and also having established a good routine of daily surya namaskaars, some additional physical yoga classes and Asana Rebel sessions, I might be ready willing to start my sitting practises as well.
We shall see, just wanted to write an update after a 10 year hiatus - still alive! |
Edited by - chinmayo on Mar 06 2024 01:32:58 AM |
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Dogboy
USA
2201 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2024 : 01:47:35 AM
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Chinmayo, wonderful you have checked in! I found AYP in 2013, and other than Christi, none of forum's "wild west" is still active. It really does seem the stars are indeed aligning for you, or maybe you are just open enough to see it as such. How are you feeling? What does you body tell you?
I came into AYP with a dozen years of asanas, but once conductivity kicked in, asanas suddenly came alive and silence trills in my ear and heart. Samyama teaches surrender and radiance, which are needed when you open your shushumna in such a way.
Take it slow. You have time, and are better prepared. You have been jostled about in your being, allow SBP to quiet you while you trace the shushumna and surrender thinking. Simply sit quietly and open at every meditation seat; AYP is so simple, it is hard to get it wrong. |
Edited by - Dogboy on Mar 06 2024 9:09:16 PM |
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sunyata
USA
1507 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2024 : 10:39:04 PM
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| Welcome Back, Chinmayo! Everything sounds wonderful! |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2024 : 11:26:49 PM
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| Thank you Dogboy and sunyata :) Nice to see you both here. Perhaps we will see Yoga man and yonatan back soon enough as well?? |
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Adventures of Chinmayo Vol. I
