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 The Cause of Conflicts in Relationships - R.Spira
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mr_anderson

USA
734 Posts

Posted - Jan 31 2014 :  2:18:41 PM  Show Profile  Visit mr_anderson's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Kami,

Ah ok! I watched this vid earlier this morning. I know exactly what you mean now.
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Omsat

Belgium
267 Posts

Posted - Jan 31 2014 :  9:14:49 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Bodhi Tree,

quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree

Thank you for continuing the never-ending poem of self-exploration in which we are collectively engaged.

P.S. To paraphrase the venerable and much-loved Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh: It's more dangerous to become attached to the notion of no-self than the notion of self.

Also, if you want to watch a hilarious video, check this out! (forwarded to me by Chas ):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KXidr0z1RY

Happy trails.



You're welcome and thank you..

The video is funny. :)
I have heard similar conversations between 2 people whom are not into Advaita. The similarity is of the emotional kind (not the specific Advaita/spiritual language).
So, perhaps even more than being about Advaita Traps, it may be about two people having trouble relating to each other.. Where one is very passionate (to the point of fanaticism) about something and has a hard time easing off even in the presence of one whom is much less (if anything at all) passionated about the same thing.
They both want to share something (one wants to share beauty; the other wants to share Advaita) and they both have a hard time acknowledging the other's sharing without becoming impatient to emphasize what they wish to share :)
Passion has its own beauty and effects.. Wise to find people with the same passion and beautiful to be able to commit to that passion while acknowledging others may be differently inclined.. Thanks AYP Support Forums and its members for balancing the two elegantly

Warm wishes,
Omsat




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mr_anderson

USA
734 Posts

Posted - Feb 01 2014 :  12:28:31 AM  Show Profile  Visit mr_anderson's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Sharing advaita and sharing beauty end up being the same thing.

Thanks Omsat

quote:
Thanks AYP Support Forums and its members for balancing the two elegantly


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Omsat

Belgium
267 Posts

Posted - Feb 01 2014 :  01:04:38 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson

Sharing advaita and sharing beauty end up being the same thing.





"My goodness what a beautiful tree!"

Happy end

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Sparkle

Ireland
1457 Posts

Posted - Feb 01 2014 :  11:08:23 AM  Show Profile  Visit Sparkle's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by kami

Josh and ak33, check this out: exactly what I was trying to describe about emotional coloring arising from stories of "me". Gosh, what synchronicity that this shows up on my FB wall while the exact thing is being experienced!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCtCMuoVEhI&sns=em

Loving Rupert Spira!!



Enjoyed that video thanks kami.
Nice the way Rupert made the point about a body sensation being neutral and the emotion being connected with the "other" or the "story" and that this emotion then is created by connecting the tension of the body sensation with the story or person or whatever it is.

This is the same as observing thoughts in relation to body sensations and emotions - but then he adds the extra dimension of no self as not being caught up in the story of it.

Similar to what many people teach but without the no-self element.


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Sparkle

Ireland
1457 Posts

Posted - Feb 01 2014 :  12:43:54 PM  Show Profile  Visit Sparkle's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Taking this into the area of neuroscience and neurobiology, which I am just dipping my toe in at the moment.

Some research going around at the moment is about how neurons fire in response to experience and how it affects the body through hormones etc..
In Rick Hanson's book Hardwiring Happiness he points out how allowing simple experiences of joy being stayed with in the body mind experience and nurturing this as a practice can have a very beneficial effect (different to positive thinking because it involves just being with the pleasant experience in the body).

Taken a step further these pleasant mind/body states can then be linked or paired with negative experiences to create a new pairing of neuron firing.
They say that neurons that fire together wire together, so linking a negative firing with feelings of love, self-compassion, kindness, gentleness etc. can in effect rewire the brain and hence the body/mind to feel happier by slowly replacing the firing pattern from negative to positive, or negative to love, kindness, warmth.

Whilst one can see this as operating in the realm of self, or the "story".
Perhaps it works in the same way with advaita, when instead of thinking loving or compassionate thoughts and allowing these to be felt in the body, a reference to "pure infinite awareness" could be made instead.

When a body sensation is felt in association with sadness, as depicted in the video, the reference is to go to "infinite awareness" instead of to the "story". This then allows the tensions held in the body to dissolve in time as they are attended to in inner silence (although he doesn't mention inner silence) and without the story attached.

At first I was puzzled about how the neuroscience findings applied to advaita, but this seems to make sense now as Rupert explains it. Simply replacing nurtured feelings of love, kindness and compassion with infinite awareness, which probably amounts to the same thing.

One could probably apply the same rational to linking to an Ishta also.

Does that make sense to anyone or have I missed something?
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ak33

Canada
229 Posts

Posted - Feb 01 2014 :  8:26:36 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I've started "The Direct Path" experiments. For those of you who don't know, this book is about conducting investigations on your direct experience in order to verify whether dualism actually exists. Essentially its a practical application of advaita. So far, its been very strange. I've been introduced to a perspective that I've never seen before, but everything is still on an intellectual level.
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Kirtanman

USA
1651 Posts

Posted - Feb 02 2014 :  6:54:13 PM  Show Profile  Visit Kirtanman's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by kami

Hi Josh and K'man,

Heyyyy K'man!!! What is the "fragmented perspective" that you are referring to? Do you mean seeing that all "things" arise and are not owned by "me"?



Heyyyy Kami!!!



In my experience, the only thing that can cause wholeness to seem unlike wholeness is fragmented perspective, of one type or another.

And so, per what you wrote, noticing that all things "just arise" (i.e. are just conditioned reactions in the body-mind system) can be a key way of helping perspective not to fragment, I would say.

And I like your "addiction" view -- there are a lot of parallels, including that one can seem free from addiction, only to have a major trigger-relapse episode stemming from "going completely mental" (per the Tao of Weasely ).

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mil

USA
28 Posts

Posted - Feb 09 2014 :  09:31:17 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank you for this topic. I am learning a lot. I have one question. Some of these concepts are new to me, I was hoping someone could clarify.

Kami you say:
Perhaps it is a matter of perspective, but conflict, to me, means inner conflict. It is always the inner state of mind that is reflected outside, is that not so?

With this viewpoint is it not true that the thieves that entered Ramana's domicile indeed were an aspect of his inner world reflecting back to him? Granted he handled it in a truly unified way, but the actual event...how do you interpret this for someone of his awareness level?

Thank you as I try and understand these greater concepts a little bit more.
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kami

USA
920 Posts

Posted - Feb 09 2014 :  9:14:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi mil,

What I meant is that one's outer behavior is always a projection of the inner state. Conflict is being in argument/variance with another. It arises from taking oneself to be a mind-and-body-bound entity, which causes the "fragmented perspective" discussed above. Thus, taking ourselves to be this entity makes us do everything to keep that fragmented perspective strong and alive. And the most effective way of doing that is to compare against others, aggrandizing ourselves and/or diminishing those others, which leads to inner and outer conflict.

Maharishi had no such fragmented perspective - he was one with everything. In the story above, he had no conflict with the thieves - his response was very similar to Jesus saying "..but whoever slaps you on the right cheek, show him the other.." For Maharishi, Jesus and other masters, thieves and such must have seemed like the right hand slapping the left. Where is the conflict when all is me? Even in a conflict situation, they could only respond with a non-fragmented perspective. It is this total lack of internal conflict (from knowing one's true nature, aka, being one with the Father) that would make one being nailed to a cross, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."

Hope this makes sense.

Love to you.
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