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SuryaDeva
USA
13 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2013 : 6:34:49 PM
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Hello AYP community!
This is my first post here, sorry I'm a little nervous.
I've been practicing yoga for two years now to get rid of drug and alcohol addiction. First with a private teacher and later on my own with the help of AYP lessons. My practice have not been consistent though because of the terrible drug (benzodiazepines) withdrawal symptoms that I experienced along the way and still experiencing now.
My teacher told me to do lots of pranayama exercises particularly anuloma viloma with breath retention (16:8:16:8 seconds ratio) and emphasized it as the most important foundation of my recovery. He DID NOT teacht me any banhas or mudras or visualization techniques like SBP. I asked him a few times about sambhavi mudra but he said not to do it yet. However out of natural curiosity when I came across AYP lessons I did experiment with incorporating spinal breathing, mulabandha and sambhavi mudra into my anuloma viloma pranayama practice.
The experience was absolutely fantastic - for the first time I felt like I wasn't just wasting my time doing pranayama and everything just "clicked" so to speak. It felt absolutely natural and the two techniques seemed to fit together seemelessly because I'd been practicing anuloma viloma before for about a year and could effotlessly do it for 20-30 minutes twice a day with the ratio of 20:10:20:10 - inhale:hold:exhale:hold.
I know that we don't do breath retention in SBP especially in the beginning but I didn't see why I not if it feels right. I did meditation twice a day as well and had some experiences of ecstatic conductivity which totally turned my universe upside down. My addictions started to fall off one after another very rapidly and I felt reborn.
However the withdrawal process from certain drugs is a long and painful process which left me unable to practice yoga or do anything for a few months. I've been extremely fatigued and emotionally exhausted for quite a while and living in a constant mental fog. The feeling of that exhilirating bliss that I experienced from my pranayama and meditation practice is nothing but a memory for me right now.
I've been tapering off a very high dosage of a benzodiazepine drug consistently all this time because I believe I can be finally free from this and yoga is going to get me there. I decided to start my practice again after a long break but it doesn't feel the same for some reason.
Could it be that I' overdoing it with pranayama?... I still do the same practice as before: alternate nostril breathing with ratio 14:7:14:7 with SB together. Mulabandha and sambhavi mudra have both become instinctual and I can't do pranayama without some form of moving the energy between these two points. I tried to separate the two practices but found myself unable to do alternate nostril breathing without the elements of the spinal breathing.
Anuloma viloma did wonders for me in the beginning so I wouldn't want to give it up and I want to keep doing SBP as well. However I keep asking myself if I might be trying to do too much especially now when my body is in a weakened state?.. Is it too complex for someone like me so I end up doing more harm then good?.. Am I being to anxious to regain the progress that I once achieved and making a classic mistake of ignoring the recommendations of self-pacing?... I would appreciate any advice on this.
Thank you |
Edited by - SuryaDeva on Nov 20 2013 6:35:53 PM |
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2013 : 8:49:21 PM
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I do know some here who do Anuloma viloma before SB. They say it helps the practice. If you are feeling drawn to it then go ahead and do it.
As far as self pacing goes , we are all different. When I took 10 weeks off to do TPP I started back at 5 min. SP and 10 min. DM. For others 10 weeks may not be a big deal. Just be aware of the symptoms of overloading so that you can cut back when the Bhakti gets a little to strong so to speak.
Glad your here and welcome |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2013 : 09:15:20 AM
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Hi SuryaDeva, So just to be clear, you do 20-30 min of alternate nostril breathing (anulom vilom), 10 min spinal breathing (SpB) and 20 min meditation?
If yes, can I suggest, since you really think alternate nostril breathing helped you a lot, do it at some point during the day outside of your AYP practice time.
Also, doing so much pranayama is cleaning the nervous system and bringing up a lot of the blocks to surface, which causes us to not be able to feel the stillness (becomes a layer between the inner silence and us)... in the long run all this clearing is a very good thing, but in AYP we like to keep a balance of purification and bliss, main reason, if it's all purification, we lose interest in the process.
So it is your call. I can see, in your heart you feel anulom vilom helped you get over that first hurdle of quitting drugs, and somewhere in you mind you believe that is an important practice for you to keep this process of letting go addictions, going. And if you believe it is so, then it is so (mind confirmations of what works is a very important thing when giving up on substance addictions... once over the addiction, we can look into letting go the addiction to the mind confirmations ).
If however, you would like to add some balance, I would suggest 10 min SpB and 20 min DM twice a day. Give it a few weeks even if it is boring... I think it will get you out of this phase of not feeling anything.
Mulabandha, sambhavi mudra, ujaii, sidhhasana are best friends of SpB... they fit together perfectly, and I would say it is OK to keep them going if you have already added them in.
Breath retention during SpB... I would say no. If you want to do something that has breath retention in it... try yoni mudra http://www.aypsite.org/91.html
Again, these are just suggestions. You will know what's best for you, so go with it. Just keep in mind, in yoga, less is more.
Wish you all the best.
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
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SuryaDeva
USA
13 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2013 : 3:44:03 PM
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Hi jonesboy and Shanti
Thank you for your input. I will follow your recommendation and will do my anuloma viloma pranayama as a separate practice some time during the day and will stick to 10 min SbP and DM twice a day as my core practice. I also forgot the rule of taking a few minutes rest after finishing my meditation. I'm rereading the AYP lessons now because I forgot quite a lot of things:) especially regarding self-pacing. And no breath retention with SbP anymore also - I thought my head was going to blow up yesterday
I do have that attachment to my anuloma viloma that you mentioned Shanti - it's like I can't let go of the idea that if I stop doing it then my practice is not going to work for me anymore... That's absolutely right what you are saying - letting go is like peeling the layers of an onion - I think I read some analogy like this somewhere
It's very ironic because when I started doing yoga pranayama seemed like the stupidest thing in the world to me and I only did it to prove to my friend that it doesn't work at all... I was so shocked when I realized that I can no longer drink alcohol because it made me violently sick at one point... I told my teacher and he laughed saying that of course it would make me sick because my body is not compatible with it anymore. I tried to drink a few more times later to test that whatever he said was true and the same thing happened - no buzz just terrible feeling of heaviness as if I ingested some poison. Since there was no other logical explanation to it - I had to finally admit it must have been the yoga. LOL
My skeptical mind tried to resist yoga so many times along the road - I have quite a story to tell:) I think I'm going to make a separate post about my transformation from a self-hating ball of misery into a happy 'normal' individual.
And yes the addiction. It's amazing what a problem it is nowadays in our society and think that the cure to it is so simple and available to everyone! It's yoga and only yoga - everything else is just another deception or an escape! And anyone can do it anytime and anywhere - my heart goes out for those who keep struggling with this demon and doesn't know that yoga practice can set them free! I can't wait until I fully recover to go out there to teach others these simple wonderful tools that can save so many lives! I will be forever grateful to those who introduced me to the world of yoga because it didn't just save my life - it gave me life! Ok I'm getting carried away here - like I said I'm going to post my story separately soon.
Much love to everybody I see you here again soon
I will check out that link about drugs. Thanks!
SD |
Edited by - SuryaDeva on Nov 22 2013 1:01:27 PM |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2013 : 08:01:53 AM
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Hi SuryaDeva,
to go with good amounts of pranayama was surely good. Drugs do leave physical and subtle imprints in the body-mind. I'm no an expert with your drug variant, but it sounds like more physically affecting. Physical imprints are best purified by:
- hot water/tea on an empty stomach before breakfast or befer lunch (cleans out lots of toxins) - living, vital and nutritious food, like fruits, salads, nuts, also vegetables - food and physical activity that speeds up your metabolism in general, so that the drug residues can faster be replaced by good stuff - it would be very good to start with muscle toning an some aerobic excercises together with the mentioned diet - pranayama, always a very good purifier of the physical, etherical and astral, even mental after good amounts. - mantra meditation like in AYP will give you fast purification of the subtle layers, mind, emotions and will open the door to inner blissful silence - if you can, meeting advanced practitioners and being together with them for some time, again and again. This will help you in many ways, but is not always an option
When it comes to nadisodhana and sbp, do not forget that sbp will kick in very late, only after substantial karma has been released will the breath enter the sushumna nadi and then overall wil make ou more happy than nadi sodhana. So if you leave out nadi sodhana too much, you may experience a temporal letdown of the peace and happiness that comes from direct sidechannel-breathing until the sbp will do it. And this phase, where your drug withdrawal symtoms are still strong should be as smooth as possible for which anulom vilom aka nadi sodhana is very good for. The hint here would be to keep it up before sbp, but to not mix them both into one practice aswell :P
peace and happy practice :) |
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JosephUK
United Kingdom
212 Posts |
Posted - Dec 24 2013 : 11:28:31 AM
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Hey,
its already inspiring to hear that you are coming to terms with an addiction and not only that but ploughing on with a search for enlightenment too. I would like to read your story.
I think every one so far has had good advice, and as you may know advice is to be listened to and used at ones own discretion.
for me the lesson of self pacing was to go way too quickly too soon and with dramatically negative effects
underneath that was my desire for ecstasy/bliss.
that was a number of years ago and i have returned to practices very gently.
what you should consider before committing is that for some this can be a physically draining path so you need to make sure your good and healthy, so as holy says aid your detox and get regular exercise as reccomended by Yogani or as is your preference.
but most of all be gentle with yourself, dont get sucked into ecstasy and bliss until you can come to terms with the fact that it isnt the point of yoga merely a side effect.
j If you feel like you've been reborn perhaps you had an awakening of kundalini which was resolved as a result of all that pranayama.
you might want to try adding some mindfulness into your daily life or routine. this could help aid an overall purification throughout your day and could be gentler than deep meditation.
remember that these yoga practices are powerful and very effective. so be sure to take the right attitude towards your goal, and be sure of what that goal is. |
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