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Anima
484 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 14 2013 : 8:53:59 PM
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Namaste, friends.
I don’t really know anything about yoga. I do think I have overloads a lot, and I am requesting help with that. I am very sensitive to energy. I used to think it was just a sensitive mind, but it is more. The lack of stability in my life is beginning to take its toll on me.
I recently read of kriyas on the AYP site. Are they spontaneous movements? I haven’t bothered to look into it, since reading or absorbing static material physically pains me. I do have many such movements and also visual alterations. My memory and speech have been affected, too: I stutter more frequently and have trouble writing word combinations correctly, often misspelling words (although I notice the errors immediately). I also combine words in a sentence into one singular pronunciation. My short-term memory seems non-existent sometimes, especially at work, but works extremely well for things I am interested in (language, for example). My sense of direction while driving and math skills, which were always a bit underdeveloped, are now obliterated. I get very frequent headaches, my hands shake sometimes, especially after a long day of exhausting myself at work, and I’m prone to unstable emotions and always have a lot of phlegm in my throat. I also frequently misunderstand what people say to me, as if I were not aware of the context of a singular statement (shorter phrases give me more trouble). Most of this is recent, and if longstanding, is much more pronounced now. I did stop taking antidepressants a years ago and have been drug and alcohol free for ten months or so. I have panic attacks, too, and when I went to the hospital, they found no physical ailments, having given me a full range of tests (CAT scan, orthoscopic analyses, and blood work).
I’m sure I could approach the situation from a psychiatric perspective, which would produce an absurdly hopeless prognosis. I will not take drugs, the key to locking away our desires until they break open upon the world. The intellectual perspective has proven equally futile, although it somehow led me to God through its ignorant presumptions! I do not know what I desire or should desire. I do not desire change or power. I do desire human love and divine love. My love for the divine is strong. My love for man is weak. Maybe that’s what I can work on?
Help, please? I often ask for it. People misinterpret this. They (my family) have said that I’m stubborn and intolerant, and not open. Those are some of their lighter remarks about my character. But I am very sensitive and passionate: I take my endeavors extremely seriously…It may not be apparent to people at first. But now things happen around and through me that I cannot explain and never could have predicted. Many of these things are beautiful and many are strange. The occurrences seem to be getting more intense and frequent. They are not coincidences and they are not my doing or intent. I don’t know…
Thank you
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BillinL.A.
USA
375 Posts |
Posted - Nov 15 2013 : 02:51:59 AM
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Great you got a place set for the winter Anima. That alone could bring a lot of balance into your life.
I'm thinking the best thing you could do for yourself is make a habit of at least a few times a week reading some of Yogani's lessons. Between the lessons and the vibe of being involved in this forum there's hope for people like you and me!
I'm on my second time through all of the lessons since starting last April and hope to make it a lifelong habit. Your intuition exposed to the lessons could help you more than anyone else's advice.  |
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Nov 15 2013 : 4:32:41 PM
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Anima,
Could you please explain in a little more detail what you mean by?
quote:
But now things happen around and through me that I cannot explain and never could have predicted. Many of these things are beautiful and many are strange. The occurrences seem to be getting more intense and frequent. They are not coincidences and they are not my doing or intent. I don’t know…
That could really help.
I believe you have mentioned that you don't have a sitting twice daily practice. Forgive me if I am wrong on that. If you don't I would ask you to read this http://www.aypsite.org/13.html and see what happens slowly. It may be to much, if so we can work on that too but the most important thing for you to do is to find some kind of regular practice.
To learn about yoga all you have to do is start on the first lesson. AYP has helped a lot of people from other practices with kundalini issues.
I wish you the best. |
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Anima
484 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2013 : 8:17:05 PM
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| Thank you, friends, I will try. |
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Help with Overload, Please
